TSA Rectal Exams Could Clog Christmas Travel

Posted on by Derby Mack
Under Obama's guidelines, the TSA is legally allowed to perform anal cavity searches.

Under Obama’s guidelines, the TSA is legally allowed to perform anal cavity searches.

Anal cavity searches were once reserved for drug smuggling suspects arriving from high-risk locations, but that could change this holiday season. A recent spate of reports indicates that the Obama administration is taking a new tact and that could “muddy” your travel plans.

Numerous cases of forced exams in New Mexico, examples of the elderly being cruelly abused in public view by TSA agents, and even a former Miss USA pageant winner who was traumatically assaulted at the hands of airport security, show that the government has embarked on a broad campaign to dehumanize normal Americans.

All travelers need to understand that once you enter an airport, you are on federal territory where local laws often do not apply. You are under constant surveillance and your personal electronic devices can be seized and searched at any time. In addition, your very body is also covered by Homeland Security’s intrusive policies. Not only do we have children fondled by unfamiliar men, not only do we have women who are asked to disrobe before groups of uniformed officers, not only do we have body scanners that have been linked to cancer, but we also have a militarized police force who holds no allegiance to the United States Constitution in any way.

In addition, there are reports that Homeland Security has even deputized doctors to better perform rectal exams. Considering the high volume of holiday travelers, their expertise is needed to violate the largest number of passengers possible. Who would apply for such a position? It has long been suspected that pedophiles and other sex perverts have been flocking to the TSA for it gives them legal cover for their sexual abuses.

As Nazi concentration camps attracted the most pathological of Germans, the TSA has drawn a notoriously sadistic crowd of employees who take special delight in punishing anyone who shows signs of being a Christian or a conservative. It was a shrewd move on Obama’s part to tap degenerates for his plan, because it helps him reduce citizens into compliant and weak sheep.

After a human has been subjected to repeated assaults of this nature, even greater violations of our rights become possible. One who has gone through airport security and learned to bow down to their authority is far less likely to stand up against police aggression at home. It is the first step to invading our property, seizing our guns and forcing us into socialist programs like Obamacare.

Prepare ahead of time for a possible anal cavity procedure.

Prepare ahead of time for a possible federal rectal procedure.

20 Important Ways You Can Prepare for Holiday Air Travel

1) Do not use hand lotions the day of your flight. Some contain glycerin that detectors will identify as an explosive agent.

2) If you wear an adult incontinence undergarment, pack an extra pair in your carry-on plus a roll of toilet paper for clean up should you be subjected to the worst of TSA procedures.

3) Remember, don’t pack a gun in your suitcase unless you follow the special rules! It is also recommended that you not travel with knives or large amounts of cash. Such items set off alarms with TSA. It may seem obvious, but this mistake happens often over the holidays.

4) Consider the likelihood that your pubic area will be explored and take appropriate grooming steps at home. However, excessive shaving is not recommended as it is often linked to Islamic terrorism.

5) Carry a copy of the Bill of Right and the Constitution. Pay attention to the 4th Amendment!

6) Lave your laptop at home, if you can, and be sure to turn off and lock your cellphone. Don’t make it easy for them to search your electronic devices!

7) Be aware that your license plate is being recorded as you arrive at the airport. If you have someone dropping you off or picking you up, kindly remind them of this fact. If someone in your party has unpaid spousal support, for example, the computers will know this.

8) Bring hard candies, such as Werthers Butterscotch Originals. When individuals are detained by TSA, they like to isolate them for long periods, without food, water or access to toilets as an act of intimidation. Candies help you deal with the hunger. Your toilet paper roll may also come in handy.

9) Do not log into any of the “free” Wi-Fi networks at the airport. They are monitored and clicking on Tea Party Facebook groups is known to cause red flags at NSA.

10) Do not consume too much alcohol before your flight.

11) Do not eat a large meal and stay away from ethnic foods (Mexican, Indian) as they will complicate a possible rectal exam.

12) If you might be anxious about your freshness prior to the flight, bring along a personal enema kit, such as the type offered by Fleet. Perform your enema at least 20 minutes before you intend to pass through security. A large handicap bathroom stall is the best place for this. You can cover the floor with newspapers if you need to lie down on your side, as this is the recommended position for the insertion of fluids.

13) Do not offer any more information than absolutely necessary when questioned by TSA. Memorize your home address and vital statistics beforehand.

14) If you are a veteran with shrapnel or someone with a knee replacement or other metal elements in your body, bring a doctor’s letter and present it immediately upon entering the scanning area.

15) If you are in a wheelchair, it is best to travel with a companion with a videocamera who can record your search if it takes a turn for the worse.

16) Be aware of your valuables! TSA agents are notorious for stealing watches, jewelry, iPads and cash. Keep an especially close eye on your pharmaceuticals, as their theft is part of a larger agenda to push the elderly into Obamacare and government dependence (a.k.a. socialism).

17) Refrain from any mental erogenous stimulation while on line. Keep your eyes level and straight ahead, not aimed at the other passengers, no matter how curvaceous. It is rather unfortunate to note, but an unwanted erection will certainly draw special official attention.

18) Familiarize yourself with all exits in case you opt out of a federally-mandated act of sexual abuse. You do have a 4th Amendment Right to say no and not travel!

19) Do not read this page at the airport! Again, your internet usage is being monitored and such vital information will set off alarm bells! They do NOT want you to be informed!

20) Finally, if you are to receive a rectal probe, be sure to request a female examiner and ask that she wear fresh gloves. Many different classes of people of different ethnicities travel other the holidays and they certainly won’t be as clean as you.


About This Journalist

Founder, Editor-in-Chief and CEO of HardDawn.com, Derby Mack is an American Patriot who has dedicated his life to loving his country and preparing his family for the National Apocalypse. He would like to thank the Founding Fathers, President Reagan and Jesus Christ for the opportunity to share Wisdom with every member of the HardDawn.com community. God Bless and Stay Vigilant!

  • Angry Voter

    The brown finger on that top photo… Yikes!

  • nygrump

    IN other words, be a good slave…this isn’t funny.

  • duffer

    eat 3 chili tacos 3 hours before the airport…down 2 large starbucks 1 hour before…then arrive. TSA NAZI inserts finger, give them a royal flush!

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Hahahaha! I thought of that too! If they want a handful, I can surely accomodate!

    • Chris Foltz

      few thousand more need their heads blown off by American Patriots…

  • Chris Foltz

    1 shot over their bow wasn’t enough… stick a finger up my ass & I’ll kill the FedGov bastard… wake up you simple minded sheep…

  • Al

    These searches must be rare. I traveled through several busy airports this year and never noticed anything out of the way as far as personal searches. Seemed like the passengers had the routine down pretty good and the lines moves promptly and orderly.

    • Blanche Beecham

      Are you Canadian?

    • Tim

      Do you go “Moo” or “Baaaaahhhhhhh”?

    • Akiana Golds

      They arent…..Last night they pulled this on a female cancer patient that was cleared security wise before she even stepped foot in the airport.

  • emmanuelozon

    Unwanted penetration of any kind is called RAPE! You stick your finger in my ass, I’ll KILL you!

  • apeman2502

    As long as they lick their fingers between exams as between meal treats, I won’t use airports. Watch your jewelry. These TSA people do NOT want to arrest terrorists. So much that they have not arrested even a token terrorist after wasting over 300 BILLION dollars to earn extended jail sentences. They are having too much fun molesting children like their uncle Bob did.

  • Will

    All these tactics, no matter how disdainful and intrusive they may be, are designed so that people will either ‘choose’ to no longer travel or accept the Police State. Period. Traveling by road will also be intrusive and restrictive. The goal is to control humans, subject them to the growing Police State, and the affect will be that folks choose not to move about freely. This is all part of the MIC and Agenda 21.

  • wallry

    You people who continue to fly are the problem! You are condoning this! They do this because of YOU!
    I do not want to hear anymore complaints from anyone since YOU will do nothing to stop this!
    All you have to do is STOP FLYING in Protest. But you won’t do it. Why? Because you “Don’t want to be inconvenienced”. “Seeing grandma is more important than freedom”. “The kids would be heartbroke”. Heart broke..?..just wait a few months or years and see how heart broke your kids will be when they are taken from you by this over run communist party! You are throwing you and your kids futures in the frigging trash people- are you so stupidly blind you can’t see this?
    I have no sympathy for you then- bend over and take it and shut up- or do something about it!
    Worthless slaves……………..!

    • Eileen Kuch

      Wallry, we all have the RIGHT to travel; whether by air, by ship, railway, or highway, we have that RIGHT. The criminal syndicate TSA has NO right to touch anyone inappropriately; that’s known as MOLESTATION. NO TSA agent has any right to insert his/her finger up anyone’s ass; that is known as RAPE; and both MOLESTATION and RAPE are criminal acts punishable by prison time – anywhere from 2 to 30 YEARS.

    • Akiana Golds

      you are an idot. Not everyone has the time or luxury of driving

  • Blanche Beecham

    Because of my ample bosom and modest attire, I am always taken aside an vigorously searched upon my person by the TSA. Always. Instead of going bra-less like some two bit cooch dancer in a sideshow, I wear a custom made copper breastplate over a chamois undershirt. It is a shame that those with good posture and a firm grip on morality are shamed and degraded publicly. When did ‘freedom’ become a vulgarity?

    • Stephenson_Billings

      I am so sorry to hear that Blanche. These people are so far from trained professionals, it’s insane. Every time I’ve flown, I see so many of these homeland security guys just standing around doing nothing. It’s the biggest joke of a workforce around. Imagine what these people would do in the face of a genuine terrorist attack? They’d cry like fat babies and surrender in seconds.

    • Eileen Kuch

      That’s when you file CRIMINAL SEX ASSAULT CHARGES against those who have done this to you. Nobody is above the law, not even TSA goons.

      • Tim

        I heard of someone who tried in St. Louis, they were threatened with arrest if they continued to complain/proceed.

        • Eileen Kuch

          There are LAWS against sexual assault in every state, from simple molestation to forcible rape; and these laws apply to everybody, including police officers and employees of the alphabet soup agencies; also includes TSA agents.

          Whatever happened in St. Louis were multiple felonies, beginning with the sexual assault of an unidentified passenger by one or more TSA goons, and escalating to threats to the victim and a massive coverup of these felonies. All these criminal sex offenders and their accomplices did was put themselves in a situation to be arrested and prosecuted for serious crimes that could land them in prison for the rest of their lives. The law is the law, and must be enforced; otherwise, there is anarchy, in which citizens are no longer bound to obey, just as law enforcement officials aren’t.

    • Akiana Golds

      hahahhahahhahahahhaha I go braless and underwearless you flipping bitch…LOL Jealous?

  • Defiant

    LOL! Me and Mack are on the same page…but I did find some of this stuff a little juvenile…

    “Do not eat a large meal and stay away from ethnic foods (Mexican, Indian) as they will complicate a possible rectal exam.”

    I mean, that’s just silly since it would depend of the person, his or her dining habits, and even his or her ethnicity. And the stuff about an enema!? For in-flight “freshness?” LMFAO! I think old Mack has an old fashioned Freudian anal-complex!

  • carl

    obama wants to put his finger up your asshole

    • notmybutthurt

      He probably gets off on it and then smells his finger after

  • carl

    obama is the anti christ. he is teaching pregnant mothers to hate ther un born babies.

  • antigrope

    handy tip on computers — buy a hard drive for when you fly, that only has your operating system (windows, os x, etc) and NONE OF YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION. switch out your normal hardrive before going to the airport. they can’t snoop your private data if your private data isn’t on the computer.

  • Tosheba

    21. Take the bus.

  • Tim

    Comply or Die!
    Or be a total pain in the ass for them and screw with them at every possible opportunity just for the shear pleasure of watching them squirm!

  • JoBrown85

    If you’re singled out for a rectal exam, just take a big shlt when the TSA agent is about to put his finger up there. Make their job as unpleasant as possible. Point to the large pile of crap on the floor and explain to the agent that you’d prefer if he searched your stool while it is outside of your rectum, because for him to insert a finger into your rectum would expose him to a rape charge.

  • Akiana Golds

    This is the most messed up thing i have EVER heard of and im sorry but this is a gross violation of rights our 4th amendment rights.I am not a criminal and will not be treated as one with no just cause.I am a rape survivor with severe PTSD , this type of bulshit will set me back forever in any progess i have made to cope with being raped. THis country is more fucked up now than its ever been. Your xray machine catches everything in the body , this is just another way for perverts to grope you legally and get away with it. NOT HAPPENING

  • Akiana Golds

    AND if im forced to be legally sexually assaulted , 2 things are going to happen. ! ill start one hell of a lawsuit and i wont stop until i win and ill make sure i have the runs everytime i have to fly.You want to stick your unwanted fingers up my ass, good luck being shit on