TSA Rectal Exams Could Clog Christmas Travel

Posted on by Derby Mack
Under Obama's guidelines, the TSA is legally allowed to perform anal cavity searches.

Under Obama’s guidelines, the TSA is legally allowed to perform anal cavity searches.

Anal cavity searches were once reserved for drug smuggling suspects arriving from high-risk locations, but that could change this holiday season. A recent spate of reports indicates that the Obama administration is taking a new tact and that could “muddy” your travel plans.

Numerous cases of forced exams in New Mexico, examples of the elderly being cruelly abused in public view by TSA agents, and even a former Miss USA pageant winner who was traumatically assaulted at the hands of airport security, show that the government has embarked on a broad campaign to dehumanize normal Americans.

All travelers need to understand that once you enter an airport, you are on federal territory where local laws often do not apply. You are under constant surveillance and your personal electronic devices can be seized and searched at any time. In addition, your very body is also covered by Homeland Security’s intrusive policies. Not only do we have children fondled by unfamiliar men, not only do we have women who are asked to disrobe before groups of uniformed officers, not only do we have body scanners that have been linked to cancer, but we also have a militarized police force who holds no allegiance to the United States Constitution in any way.

In addition, there are reports that Homeland Security has even deputized doctors to better perform rectal exams. Considering the high volume of holiday travelers, their expertise is needed to violate the largest number of passengers possible. Who would apply for such a position? It has long been suspected that pedophiles and other sex perverts have been flocking to the TSA for it gives them legal cover for their sexual abuses.

As Nazi concentration camps attracted the most pathological of Germans, the TSA has drawn a notoriously sadistic crowd of employees who take special delight in punishing anyone who shows signs of being a Christian or a conservative. It was a shrewd move on Obama’s part to tap degenerates for his plan, because it helps him reduce citizens into compliant and weak sheep.

After a human has been subjected to repeated assaults of this nature, even greater violations of our rights become possible. One who has gone through airport security and learned to bow down to their authority is far less likely to stand up against police aggression at home. It is the first step to invading our property, seizing our guns and forcing us into socialist programs like Obamacare.

Prepare ahead of time for a possible anal cavity procedure.

Prepare ahead of time for a possible federal rectal procedure.

20 Important Ways You Can Prepare for Holiday Air Travel

1) Do not use hand lotions the day of your flight. Some contain glycerin that detectors will identify as an explosive agent.

2) If you wear an adult incontinence undergarment, pack an extra pair in your carry-on plus a roll of toilet paper for clean up should you be subjected to the worst of TSA procedures.

3) Remember, don’t pack a gun in your suitcase unless you follow the special rules! It is also recommended that you not travel with knives or large amounts of cash. Such items set off alarms with TSA. It may seem obvious, but this mistake happens often over the holidays.

4) Consider the likelihood that your pubic area will be explored and take appropriate grooming steps at home. However, excessive shaving is not recommended as it is often linked to Islamic terrorism.

5) Carry a copy of the Bill of Right and the Constitution. Pay attention to the 4th Amendment!

6) Lave your laptop at home, if you can, and be sure to turn off and lock your cellphone. Don’t make it easy for them to search your electronic devices!

7) Be aware that your license plate is being recorded as you arrive at the airport. If you have someone dropping you off or picking you up, kindly remind them of this fact. If someone in your party has unpaid spousal support, for example, the computers will know this.

8) Bring hard candies, such as Werthers Butterscotch Originals. When individuals are detained by TSA, they like to isolate them for long periods, without food, water or access to toilets as an act of intimidation. Candies help you deal with the hunger. Your toilet paper roll may also come in handy.

9) Do not log into any of the “free” Wi-Fi networks at the airport. They are monitored and clicking on Tea Party Facebook groups is known to cause red flags at NSA.

10) Do not consume too much alcohol before your flight.

11) Do not eat a large meal and stay away from ethnic foods (Mexican, Indian) as they will complicate a possible rectal exam.

12) If you might be anxious about your freshness prior to the flight, bring along a personal enema kit, such as the type offered by Fleet. Perform your enema at least 20 minutes before you intend to pass through security. A large handicap bathroom stall is the best place for this. You can cover the floor with newspapers if you need to lie down on your side, as this is the recommended position for the insertion of fluids.

13) Do not offer any more information than absolutely necessary when questioned by TSA. Memorize your home address and vital statistics beforehand.

14) If you are a veteran with shrapnel or someone with a knee replacement or other metal elements in your body, bring a doctor’s letter and present it immediately upon entering the scanning area.

15) If you are in a wheelchair, it is best to travel with a companion with a videocamera who can record your search if it takes a turn for the worse.

16) Be aware of your valuables! TSA agents are notorious for stealing watches, jewelry, iPads and cash. Keep an especially close eye on your pharmaceuticals, as their theft is part of a larger agenda to push the elderly into Obamacare and government dependence (a.k.a. socialism).

17) Refrain from any mental erogenous stimulation while on line. Keep your eyes level and straight ahead, not aimed at the other passengers, no matter how curvaceous. It is rather unfortunate to note, but an unwanted erection will certainly draw special official attention.

18) Familiarize yourself with all exits in case you opt out of a federally-mandated act of sexual abuse. You do have a 4th Amendment Right to say no and not travel!

19) Do not read this page at the airport! Again, your internet usage is being monitored and such vital information will set off alarm bells! They do NOT want you to be informed!

20) Finally, if you are to receive a rectal probe, be sure to request a female examiner and ask that she wear fresh gloves. Many different classes of people of different ethnicities travel other the holidays and they certainly won’t be as clean as you.


About This Journalist

Founder, Editor-in-Chief and CEO of HardDawn.com, Derby Mack is an American Patriot who has dedicated his life to loving his country and preparing his family for the National Apocalypse. He would like to thank the Founding Fathers, President Reagan and Jesus Christ for the opportunity to share Wisdom with every member of the HardDawn.com community. God Bless and Stay Vigilant!