Trump’s Extreme Fear of Staircases Is NOT a National Security Issue!

Posted on by Derby Mack

From Mexican trade wars to White House staircases, President Trump is dedicated to facing down America’s worst crises.

If you’re like me, nothing gets you more outraged than libtards who hate America!

This time they’re doing it with a shocking act of hypocrisy aimed at our beloved President Donald J. Trump and his very personal health issues.

Could these bullies get any more nauseating!

Let’s set the record straight before the propaganda ministers at CNN turn this into another fake news story like “Russian hacking” or “Trump’s tiny hands mean he’s profoundly sexually impotent.”

Mr. Trump suffers from a severe health condition that would have knocked down a much lesser man. But our President has persevered despite his adversity! I wonder if the NAACP will give him an award for that?

Yes, bathmophobia is a vital medical issue today.

As someone who suffers from it myself, I have deep compassion for President Trump’s crippling condition.

For those who don’t grasp the gravity of real world health problems, bathmophobia is an acute fear of staircases.

Trump triumphed over that horribly pathetic phobia by taking the hundreds of millions his father gave him and turning that meagre sum into an empire of glitzy highrises with elevators and escalators built on billions of bank debt so that he never had to face an old-fashioned staircase ever again! If that’s not a profile in courage, I sure as heck don’t know what is!

Should the White House be updated with president-friendly escalators?

Elderly folks like me know staircases are NOT your friends!

They are designed by leftwing homosexual designers with razor sharp edges, usually carved in expensive stone composites imported from rogue socialist nations. They can be brutally hard and cold, like a Walmart cashier refusing your EBT card in a hailstorm.

Fussy interior decorators complicate these hardcore staircases by adding deep pile rugs that only drag your feet. Handrail manufacturers — most of them from China, by the way — only make matters worse with rickety and unreliable work. Taken altogether, America’s staircases are a recipe for disaster!

When you consider how the terrorist left hates the elderly, that doesn’t sound like a coincidence if you ask me!

And I have the bruised knees to prove it!

So when President Trump asked British Prime Minister Teresa May for help navigating the stairway at the White House (something I suspect Barack Hussein Obama had installed out of spite), it became a scandal in the European intelligence community.

And then the radical feminist homosexual press got a hold of the secret dossier and made it into a national headline in an attempt to embarrass America’s greatest hero for a very human disability.

So let’s call a spade a spade and say shame on you, you damned perverts! I hope you all get old and angry some day and have to face a long outdoor staircase while ethnic hooligans and kids on skateboards threaten you at every step! In the rain! With a walker!  


About This Journalist

Founder, Editor-in-Chief and CEO of, Derby Mack is an American Patriot who has dedicated his life to loving his country and preparing his family for the National Apocalypse. He would like to thank the Founding Fathers, President Reagan and Jesus Christ for the opportunity to share Wisdom with every member of the community. God Bless and Stay Vigilant!