February 20th will be a special day in Washington, D.C. next month.
Becca Kushner, the incoming Chief of Protocol of the United States Department of State, has announced that the Federal holiday will recognize the, “the official and entirely legitimate presidency of President Donald Trump this year.”
The news “surprised and delighted” Mr. Trump, according to spokeswoman Kellyanne Conway. In an interview with Steve Harvey on his nationally syndicated radio program, Conway added, “It’s a great honor for President Trump to join the ranks of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, who both had significantly less people attend their inaugurations.”
Historians have pointed out that Lincoln may have had about 5 or 10% of the crowd that Mr. Trump drew to his swearing in at the Capitol.
“When you look at the ratings difference between the two, it really makes sense for this holiday to focus on our legitimate president’s popularity,” stated John Baron, former Professor of History, Trump University, Long Island. “Lincoln’s numbers were just sad and weak!”
In response to the holiday, the Trump administration is planning a series of national events including parades and a Tweet storm to honor the announcement. The United States Postal Service will also issue a commemorative stamp.
Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, released a statement noting that the printing of a commemorative presidential stamp meets the legal threshold for declaring that, “Trump is absolutely 100% a legitimate president of the United States beyond any reasonable doubt.”
In recognition of the stamp honoring the announcement of the holiday affirming Mr. Trump’s legitimacy, President Trump will temporarily lift the Twitter bans of any Federal agency wishing to praise him.