For far too long, our democracy has been threatened by the greedy corporate media elite. But all that is about to change.
President Donald J. Trump announced a new campaign today to stem the tide of “fake news” destroying our freedom. As part of the White House’s new “Platinum Integrity Initiative,” dangerous keywords will be censored from a coalition of America’s leading internet companies. Mr. Trump has already personally signed up top tier search engines such as AOL Search, Yahoo, Lycos, Disney Go, and others.
For Trump supporters who depend on AOL, the move is seen as a lifesaver.
“CNN and the New York Times are out their pushing their fascist agenda,” noted Rudolph Giuliani, the president’s newly named Gold Circle™ Cybersecurity Advisor, “isn’t about time we do something to keep Trump Nation safe?”
Giuliani has ordered that all Federal computers switch their default search settings to AOL, noting that it’s a matter of public safety. Any government employee caught using illicit and illegitimate websites such as Google will receive an official reprimand. For repeat offenders, there is the possibly of an investigation into their loyalty. Indeed, recently leaked studies have found that Google is most popular in socialist countries such as Canada. China also boasts heavy Google usage, likely in violation of upcoming trade sanctions and international agreements.
The move is part of a larger effort to build a wall around America’s internet. The goal is to create a safe space, free from illegal interference and dissent. Both Halliburton and the Arizona Border Reconnaissance Committee cheered the move. AOL shares rose .003% in after hours trading immediately following the announcement.