Something is terribly wrong in America if you haven’t noticed! We’re a nation spiraling out of control. The young people are to blame and a lot of you old freaks, too! When did you degenerates become just so messy?
Well, in case you’re wondering, here’s how the gays are destroying the country I once knew and loved:
1. Take a ride on the marijuana train and you might just end up in downtown Bottomsville!
“Manuel knows his part well. After a few nights of zinfandel and lubricant, he will ‘lose’ Adam’s phone number. He’s been through it before. And he’ll go through it all again. When it comes to gay ‘dating,’ it’s always time to move on.” — From “Mary” to Manwhore: Could This Dangerous Street Drug Turn You Gay?
2. The summer’s hottest fashion trend is all about flaunting your goods and getting your “romps” off!
“It’s fake news to think this fad is really turning straight men on, no matter how much we’re terrorized by roughly-hewn flesh in such playful fabrics.” — “Rompers,” The Subversive Gay Fashion Trend That’s Putting the Trump Presidency At Risk
3. If you think the #Resistance against Trump is about social justice and not street sodomy, think again!
“’Daddy, you can cop a feel if you got 20 bucks and want to meet behind the port-o-potties,’ the man said and walked away cackling.” — Big City Gays Are Having One Sleazy Summer of Sedition in the Resistance
4. High thread count sheets are just the latest way homosexual designers are plotting to invade your bedroom and tie you up in knots!
“You might catch your husband draping himself in the flat sheet and staring into a mirror like a cross-dresser waiting to belt out ‘Diva’s Lament’ on a cabaret stage in some ethnic neighborhood.” — Contact Walmart And Tell Them 1000-Thread Count Sheets Disrespect Traditional Marriage
5. The Gay Agenda doesn’t care if you’re black or white… or green! They want sodomy to boldly go where no Bible has gone before: outer space!
“None of his numerable alien orifices will be spared as the gays encircle…” — Super Elite Homosexuals Are Now Recruiting Extraterrestrials Into Their Ungodly Lifestyle
6. Unwed pregnant men crying over pickles and socialized medicine in our shopping mall food courts? Just what America needs!
“Even the buttocks of the bears tell a story.” — Is the Gay “Bear” Scene Opening the Door to Homosexual Male Pregnancy?
7. The Drag Industrial Complex has set its sassy sights on you, you slutty, slutty alcoholics!
“Before you know it, Ru’s painted ladies will roll in a television set. You’ve been shanghaied into a sixty-minute presentation of, ‘The Joys of Drag.’ There will be spontaneous testimonials, shrieks of Hallelujah! and lots of clapping. Oh, the clapping will be deafening!” — Is Your Local Homosexual Bar Recruiting for the Cult of RuPaul?
8. They trade boys, blunts and bitchiness with equal abandon! They’re the hardcore homosexual manwhores and they’re coming to a city near you!
“Among hell’s chosen few, the manwhore is a particularly vicious specimen. Everything about him has been painstakingly crafted for maximum sodomy.” — Roving Gangs of Hardcore Homosexual “Manwhores” Are Tearing Our Cities Apart
9. I hate the smell of sodomy in the morning… It smells like a Gay Agenda victory!
“You will never know where the homosexual has hidden his vial of poppers on his person. But rest assured, it’s there…” — “Poppers”: The Gay Agenda’s Secret Sex Potion Luring Straight Men to Sodomy
10. The Osama Bin Laden of the drag scene wants YOU to get your pilot’s license!
“The bearded hulk looks caged in his garish suits, like he’d rather be wrestling a beach pit of Brazilian go-go boys barechested. He’ll mumble into his sleeve for a few moments before flying off script with crazed rants against decency and taste.” — Homosexual Life Coach “Jonny McGovern” Is Radicalizing Gay America With These Shocking Training Videos
11. Open concept kitchens open you up to a lot more than being tag-teamed by the Property Brothers!
“If we’re going to blame anyone for this crisis, we’ve got to blame these so-called ‘architects.’ Who gave them the right? In fact, most come from elite universities where between the pot orgies and communist museums they’re indoctrinated in the Deep State’s long con of ridiculous construction regulations.”– Open Concept Kitchens Are the Height of New World Order Fascism
12. If house music makes you horny, it’s not just because of that big gulp of molly you took with seven sweaty twinks in their magical bathroom stall.
“Behind the door of ‘house’ music is a magical world of gnomes and new friends and maybe even erotic experiences, but you need to be very, very aware that this is not at all what it seems! It’s simply Satanism in disguise!”– Giggling Gnomes Riding Unicorn Puppies: The Hidden Illuminati Mythology of “House” Music
13. Can Vice President Pence beat off the raging monster of internet porn and bring honesty back to our profile stats? That’s going to be a hard one!
“’There are several holes in our current legal system that must be filled, deeply and aggressively. Too often they’re violated, slapped around like some bossy bareback bottom in a Corbin Fisher video.’” — Homosexual Pornography to Be Regulated Exclusively Through the Vice President’s Office, Mike Pence Announces