Zoom’s Secret Purpose as a Peer-to-Peer Porn Site is Finally Being Revealed

Posted on by Henricus Institor
Home office video conferencing has become an essential way for employers to keep an eye on their workers during the pandemic, but it may come with unforeseen risks.

It all started with the ridiculous “remote workday” trend a few years back.

Suddenly, millions of Americans were demanding to dial into the office from their grubby bedrooms, dressed only in coffee-stained sweatpants and surrounded by needy cats.

To make the whole remote thing more respectable, companies pushed back and asked for visual evidence that their employees weren’t dedicating business hours to leisurely baths and learning the trumpet.

The result was apps like Zoom, which made surveillance-state video-conferencing into a “fun” spectator sport. It didn’t take long for corporations to start installing the service on personal computers across America. Workers, now freed from their cubicles, celebrated the illusion of independence with gusto.

Now, with the coronavirus sending everyone into quarantine for the duration, Zoom has become an essential global communications tool, but at what cost?

“It’s like a discount OnlyFans,” Tony Perkins, head of the Family Research Council, told me recently. “People are quickly realizing that it’s a great way to share the immorality of home nudity with just a few clicks.”

Indeed, the ease with which you can exhibit yourself to a group of voyeuristic friends is simply too easy. And that, experts like Perkins say, is turning millions of Americans into amateur porn stars.

The pandemic has certainly made this crisis much worse. With too much free time of their hands, people are running out of ways to distract themselves. Knitting, the harmonica, desperately trying to understand the meaning of your bleak existence, reruns of The Golden Girls all saw an initial uptick in popularity at the outset of the pandemic, but have since dropped off considerably.

And now Zoom, hosting everything from one-on-one masturbation competitions to virtual group orgies, is there to fill that void in America’s collective soul.

The sudden evolution of the app into a full-blown porn site does not come as a surprise to some.

White House advisor and recovering “Zoomaholic” Stephen Miller was quoted as saying, “I used to love Zoom. It was perfect for special office projects where you don’t want much of a paper trail, like when you’re creating a humanitarian crisis at a border. But the way the app’s cameras look for human flesh tones, especially in darkened bunkers, always unnerved me. On top of that, it was just too easy for folks like Kellyanne and Bolton to break away into private chats and leave me muted alone in the group, while they’re off doing God knows what. Clearly this app was designed for more than just run of the mill teleconferences about caging children.”

Zoom conferences can veer into pornography at a moment’s notice, even among workmates trying to tackle important national issues.
About This Journalist

Henricus Institor is the “nom de plume” of a former Internet hacktivist and high ranking member of the atheist radical elite. Yet even there, amongst the most dangerous liberals in the world, he could not hide from God’s Calling. He was reborn in the Blood of Christ in 2011 and today “Henricus Institor” serves as HardDawn.com’s foremost expert on secret left wing agendas and global power conspiracies.