Is Bob Weir Targeting the Elderly With His Satanic Rock Cult?

Posted on by Kaylee-Aurora

Bob “Bohemian Grove” Weir’s fast-growing cult is targeting America’s most vulnerable grandparents.

Old people are a national treasure. They’ve spent their entire lives making America great again and now just want to pass their remaining years in peace and quiet.

This is what made me so outraged when I heard about a traveling showman by the name of Bob Weir who specifically targets our most vulnerable senior citizens.

His music is a weird drug of subversive styles and subliminal messages. But it’s not just the long, angry songs that upset me, it’s the fact this man is intentionally building a radical cult dedicated to his every whim.

The “Weir-dos” embrace the worst ideologies of job crushing “green politics.” They’ve turned their backs on the fun militarism of the Reagan years. They’re free spirits who believe in tree goddesses and going bra-less. They cruise farmers’ markets like Tinder on Metamucil. They make phallic pottery in backyard studios. And they will do everything in their incredible power to undermine our nationalistic culture from within.

Yes, you heard that right! This man Bob Weir is out there at this very moment roaming the darkened alleyways of America recruiting our very own parents and grandparents into this shocking scheme!

No wonder his biggest hit is called “Shakedown Street.”

And the liberal media has been absolutely silent about this incredible threat!

It doesn’t matter to his diehard fans that the music isn’t very upbeat. You won’t find the singable lyrics and repetitive rhythms that are the basis of today’s most important pop songs. The guitar solos are undisciplined and trail off like a mental patient searching for a purple elephant in a Wal-Mart.

Hardcore marijuana joints are becoming all too common among the elderly and many now blame Weir and his illicit music.

Weir, who looks like a bewildered Santa Claus with his penetrating gaze and unkempt beard, is a shadowy figure. He has a history of these shenanigans going back at least ten years. It’s known in certain circles, for instance, that he’s a camp counselor at the Bohemian Grove, the secret Illuminati retreat that investigative journalist Alex Jones famously exposed.

Leaked photos also suggest that Bob Weir may be a kingpin in the Deep State conspiracy attempting to overthrow President Donald J. Trump.

And just when you thought the Weirdo Cult couldn’t get any worse, here’s the kicker: highly placed sources have stated that marijuana usage is incredibly common among the rock star’s frisky, free-wheelin’ groupies.

So there you have it: an anti-establishment terrorist selling “free love” reefer and global warming conspiracies door to door at our elderly rest homes. #ThanksBernieSanders!

At this special moment in history, President Trump needs all the help he can get building this nation and it’s now the responsibility of the youth generation to police the treasonous musical tastes of our elders.

So please take a moment today and peek through your parents’ and grandparents’ Spotify accounts. Be on the lookout for cases of old-fashioned Maxell cassette tapes. Keep your ears tuned for nonsensical hours-long guitar jams. And pay special attention when underground code words like “Sugar Magnolia” or “Rat Dog” or “Lesh” are muttered in hushed, boozy tones.

Sadly, for millions of Americans, including Katy Perry’s boyfriend John Mayer, it’s already too late.

  • Rapha

    Bob Weir and the remaining dead are harmless. If they wander , examine their bracelets. Silver Alert. I hope Mr Weir is taking his meds.

    • Kaylee-Aurora

      You say that but a few years ago my gal pals were visiting family in Mill Valley and he was VERY RUDE to them when they just wanted to have some cosmos and take important calls at some club called Sweetwater. Sad!

      • BreakingDeadMen

        You can’t caution all, but you still might warn a few.

      • Dancing Bare
      • Dr. C

        LOL…!

      • Rapha

        Cosmic Sadness.

      • Blues4Allah

        Bob is working on both his mental health and physical health .
        He has been sober for 2 years now, as he realizes fast living doesnt agree with old age.
        Sorry your g/fs couldnt get him to fall off the wagon
        Think about how you would feel if MILLIONS of people tried to get into your private space whenever you went into public. Your friends should be more sensitive to such a wonderful, giving man

        • Frank Orlando

          People hang on every word he says.Its all a bit much for the guy whos been on the road since age15.Since Jerry Died,he became the “1st. among equals”,that role in itself bolied down to its finest points has taken a bigger toll for the Bobster….Give him his space & a break. Weare SOOOO fortunate we have anu GD Related orig. memer band at all to listen to & hat tour after 50 plus Years…grateful here.

      • Derick Bowman

        Was it this day, when Bob had a meltdown on stage at Sweetwater?
        http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/Bob-Weir-Walks-Off-Stage-in-Mill-Valley-196027711.html

      • IJR

        Cosmos and cell phones?
        “If you plant ice, you’re gonna harvest wind.”
        The gal pals were treated fairly.

  • Old boy

    Funniest thing that I read today!

  • Jennifer Toth

    Is this a joke or something?? You have no idea what you are talking about at all. The lyrics are beautiful poetry and the music is totally incredible, inventive, and awesome in every way. The dead have been around forever and are all about being kind and loving one another. I am a born again Christian woman who absolutely loves the dead! You are a clueless person judging something you clearly do not understand and know nothing about. May the Good Lord open your shut eyes now! Good grief! I am blown away by your deep and profound ignorance! Enough said.

    • Uncle Sam I. Am

      But what about the code words? I know for a fact that sugar magnolia is slang for the drug cigarettes they snort. And lesh was the drummer with the beard that died!

      • Mark

        Lesh is the bassist and he is very much alive. No drummer of theirs has ever died, idiot. Sugar Magnolia is the name of a girl…..and what are cigarretes you snort. You are clueless.

        • Kaylee-Aurora

          Lesh also founded another rock band called the Phish. Its a amalgem of his name. Phil + Lesh. Very nasty hombre!

          • BreakingDeadMen

            Lesh has a cult that meats at a place called Club Turtlehead.

          • Blues4Allah

            His club is called Terrapin Crossroads in San Rafael Ca. Its a burger joint where you can see him play free , usually with his kids, friends and other musicians he is passing the torch to, at age 76

          • Gardening is Never a Crime

            ..they serve a Vegan Pizza with a cashew cheese that is very tasty

          • Jackie Martin

            Amen Brother!
            NC ROWJIMMY

          • UnderMindControl

            Free try $80 a ticket lol

          • IJR

            Phil is not legally allowed to sing in 14 states. He makes the worst crooners cringe.

          • gratefuldid

            WOW!!! right there shows why you shouldnt be writing ignorant things you have NO idea about. Phil lesh has nothing to do with Phish. plus wouldnt that be phesh???! And to call bob weir some kind of terrorist is more than ignorant,its blatantly disrespectful and downright wrong. You cant call out someone like that and get away with it. You should trash your computer,never write another article again,hide in a corner and keep listening to the ever so great pop-music that is out now.NOT! Bob weir and the dead have the most uplifting,upbeat,spiritual,loving meaning to there music theres no other band in the world that moves me or millions of others like they do. Oh yeah,rat dog is a band and Lesh is a musician,there not or have never been “mutterered” in a boozy tune. Do your research before writing such terrible crap. And yes,Global warming is real!! #NFA

          • Blues4Allah

            She’s a clueless moron, trying to garner readership with FAKE NEWS
            So sad this reporter is writing fiction, and doesnt take the time to deeply involve herself in the truth.
            It’s classless, and unprofessional to write opinion rather than fact, passing it off as “news”

          • UnderMindControl

            It is a joke, man you are dense. and Global Warming is a hoax, only a useful idiot buys it

          • Frank Orlando

            I do agree that its a JOKE,BUT global warning,we see that different man….

          • Alejandro Moreno S.

            You are seriously clueless. This is satire.

          • IJR

            Bob Weir is aligned with Satan. Cue up a Dead and Company video. Shakedown Street and The Other One should not be played at 65 beats per minute. $140 dor general admission? He has clearly gone to the dark side.

          • alice katt

            Cant take a joke or see sarcasm and humor? They dead aint prophets and they never were any good. Soon they will all be truly dead, and some people will be grateful.

          • obadiahorthodox

            Blasphemy,

          • Cassidy Pen

            Lesh founded the Phish with Trey Pistachio.

          • Blues4Allah

            Lol. Phish was started by Trey and Mike Gordon at the U of Vt. Phil was already a grandfather. The ONLY thing the two have in common is they both play Jam Band music, (music that digresses from the original scoring). It takes incredible talent to improvise and sound good.
            Once in a while Trey sits in with the Dead, because he’s good enough to hear and follow their improvisational talent. Most musicians are smart enough to up their game, you need to play with people better than you, just like almost anything in life you wish to excel in

          • Frank Orlando

            They both also CAN be snobs at times…LOl!

          • IJR

            Phish is terrible. The Grateful Dead played actual songs, you know, with a beginning, a middle and an end. Phish just plays the middle part and worries about crappy “jam holes.” Jerry would chuckle at that stuff. “…cause Milly took that paper and sliced him on the nipple.” lol

          • Saint Stephen

            That Trey is such a nut!

          • Jackie Martin

            Please Neil Cassidy your a prankster!
            N C ROWJIMMY

          • Jackie Martin

            You old Pigpen you!

          • Jackie Martin

            You know they were both named after the Ben And Jerry’s Ice cream. Phish, Cherry Garcia. Wave Gravy will take the credit.
            NC ROWJIMMY

          • Cubanz

            &%

          • Blues4Allah

            Phish has NOTHING to do with Phil Lesh. Phish is Trey Anastasio and Mike Gordon, who met at U of Vt. They play jam band style but have ZERO to do with Phil

          • jonjedi

            Hey, come back when you have an actual fact.

          • Tom M

            You just won the internet with that hilarious statement!

          • Jackie Martin

            Dumb ass! Phil Leah has nothing to do with Phish. He was a founding member of the Grateful Dead.
            Who are you going to attack next? Elvis, John Wayne? Ignorance must be bliss. Ever heard of google?
            NC ROWJIMMY

          • IJR

            Phil can not sing, it is actually painful to oisten to his crooning.

          • Jackie Martin

            Unbroken Chain!
            Be careful you could be setup like a bowling pin. Even busted for smiling on a cloudy day.
            NC ROWJIMMY

          • IJR

            Mason was a mighty man
            A mighty man was he
            All he said, “When I’m dead and gone
            Don’t you let Phil singgggggggggggggg
            Phil should have never sang agaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin

          • Jackie Martin

            Sorry, I made a ass out of myself.

            NC ROWJIMMY

          • Melissa Tompkins Jones

            You have absolutely no clue what you are talking about..CLUELESS

          • CDF

            You can’t be serious!?

          • Bruce Bender

            You related to Betty Bowers?
            Just as funny

          • Alex Hutson

            He has literally nothing to do that band. You’re correlating things like a 3rd grader.

          • Phil leash is not in Phish you are retarded

          • Phil’s band is called Phil leash and friends

          • Algonquin Jane

            Either you’re completely delusional and need psychiatric help, or this is satire of the highest order.

          • jj

            HooHa! Why do you think those things are exclusive?

            It’s all in fun – both Psychotic fun and Physical fun.. play on!

          • Kelly Dutcher

            Pretty sure that was sarcasm.

          • Dustin Staires

            Kaylee, I am a follower of Christ and God pulled me out of that scene. Ask the Lord for guidance on the topic of Jam Bands. Your lack of knowledge on this subject discredits the important points you are trying to make. Phil Lesh was not a founder of the band Phish.

        • Uncle Sam U. Tool

          And ”mark”, you’re an easy one. I would call you a mean name back but it would just be borderline politically incorrect, what with your condition an’ all.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          He may be a little confused, but he knows of which he speaks. The man has hid out in a rock and roll band for decades.

          • Jackie Martin

            Learned to duck!
            NC ROWJIMMY
            P. S. You Merry Prankster

        • george

          Surely you recognize sarcasm!

        • Frank Orlando

          Phil also is on his 3rd. liver. He drank WINE afagain sev, yearsafter the transplant,being the connisauer he is.He also has been under atreatment for a form of camcer for over 2 yeras..Weare VERY FORUNATE to have him as well &as Bob & the drummers…50 PLUS yeras on the road & livng that life..I anm soooo Grateful.

          • Frank Orlando

            Yea.and I spell badly…

        • obadiahorthodox

          the acid got to him, again.

      • unacat

        ……another dick voicing an ignorant and bullshit opinion. Piss off, wanker.

        • Urah Dick

          Unacat, here’s the deal. I’ll give you fair to even odds, that when push comes to shove, once you reread the article, you’re gonna feel like a loser that had a kick in the head because it may be the most important, greatest story ever told and high time you understood it. You stupid boll weevil!

          • unacat

            I think I will survive, but thank you for your semi-literate response.

          • BasculeTheFule

            This is brilliant… well done everyone! 🙂

          • Susze Barrington Newland

            I have learned that it takes a certain amount of intelligence to “get” a joke, and to push the ever more tricky “sarcasm” is sometimes way beyond their intelligence level…

          • Frank Orlando

            Ding ding! WINNER chicken dinner! YES….

          • Jackie Martin

            Wave that Flag high and wide, for you are the eyes of the world. Don’t Fade Away!
            NC ROWJIMMY

          • Jackie Martin

            Charlie Ford just blacked my eye and kicked my dog.
            N. C. ROWJIMMY

        • IJR

          Bob Weir is a Satanist and a murderer.
          Listen to Dead and Company do Shakedown Street or The Other One and you will see what I mean.

      • Robert Driscoll

        How stupid are you?

      • Jackie Martin

        Leah was and is one of the greatest bass players that has ever lived. We loved Jerry Garcia and he is missed grately. Who wrote this article? I guess they were so low and backstabbing. They forgot to post their name.
        N C ROWJIMMY

        • Frank Orlando

          The republcans of course…
          wrote it…LOl!

      • Bruce Bender

        For this you win the internet. For today

      • midnightfluff

        you will pay for your insolence. Everyone knows Phil Lesh is Hsel Liph backwards, which is the real name of the original drummer for Marshmallow Overcoat. Get a clue.

        • Frank Orlando

          Hs real name is Cliff Hanger.,..

        • Jackie Martin

          Mello Yellow have you been smoking banana peels again?

          NC ROWJIMMY

      • Blueeyes

        You need to google before you rant.

      • Jackie Martin

        I have a bad addiction to snorting ciggeretts. Can you get me a sponsor from the “Warfrats? ”
        NC ROWJIMMY

    • Uncle Sam I. Am

      Dear Profound ignorance, nuff said.

    • Sean Sherman

      Well said!! I just saw Dead & Company June 25! Great night! Ya know, in every culture you will have good and bad. Some people think the Dead are evil while others think they’re Prophets! I love Jesus and I thank God for The Dead!

      • Susze Barrington Newland

        THis article is SARCASM.. none of it is TRUE.. NOW.. What ya wanna say about the DEAD and CO? I love them tool

      • Cassidy Pen

        Who is your god, Beelzebub?

        • Jackie Martin

          Hey now, is that you Tex Watson?
          Tell the family ROWJIMMY said Hey now!

          • Cassidy Pen

            What in tarnation?

          • Jackie Martin

            Uncle Charlie told me so.
            N C ROWJIMMY

            .

          • Kelly Dutcher

            Hahahahaa!!!!!

          • Jackie Martin

            Couldn’t help myself! Charlie said he didn’t know about the Beatles White Album. He said he was a Deadhead. Then started dancing around. Funny as hell video.

    • Scott

      It’s a friggin joke!

    • Carol

      This is satire!

    • redjelly39

      Yes Jennifer – its satire 🙂

    • Derick Bowman

      The article is satire. You ever heard of satire? You should’ve learned about that in high school. Also, most of the comments are JUST JOKES… The “code words” thing is just a joke. The comment about Phil starting Phish…lol…again, that was JUST A JOKE. Lighten up and laugh a little..sheesh.

  • Bill Weber

    I am a
    “Weir-dos”

    • Dave Milbut

      be a Weir-do, not a Weir-don’t.

      • Jackie Martin

        I see you were educated by Romper Room, Well done. Captain Kangaroo would be proud!

  • Weir

    You’re an idiot

    • Frank Tower

      That’s exactly what a drug crazed heathen would say. Go drive your plane all high on cokeane elsewhere!

      • BreakingDeadMen

        You seem confused. If only there was advice for what do in that state. Guess I’ll go check on the old ice crop.

    • IJR

      Bob Weir is a murderer. Have you heard Dead and Co do Shakedown Street?

    • Jackie Martin

      Weir here
      NC ROWJIMMY

  • Ron Jacobs

    Hahahahahaha

  • GaryG

    Well played!

  • Natasha weir

    hail Satan

    • Jackie Martin

      Amen sister! Throw stones at the evil one. Ashes to ashes we all fall down.
      NC ROWJIMMY

    • Jackie Martin

      Weirhere
      NC ROWJIMMY

  • derek sibert

    Derp…the ‘roids are getting to you.

  • dahlusion

    Kaylee-Aurora’s twisted perspective comes across as Southern-Bible-Belt paranoia
    with a side of delusion. Journalist like this should have their writing tools taken away.

    Please, somebody put a muzzle on this growling dog.

  • Denise Lenee

    This is tongue in cheek, right?!

  • Deadhead for Life

    I feel this isn’t satire then you are a complete fucking RETARD!

    • IJR

      Stop using that word, trashbag.

  • John Ripley

    This is HIGH-larious! Thanks for the grin this morning Kaylee-Aurora…

  • mark

    What are you talking about??? They are a band with roots in bluegrass and country (“Cumberland Blues”, Big River (from Johnny Cash) and the list goes on. Maybe you should actually listen to something before you so incorrectly characterize it. Here are some songs they sing:

    “Samson and Delilah”-yes about that Samson

    “The Greatest Story Ever Told”

    “Knocking on Heaven’s Door”–cover from Bob Dylan

    And here are the lyrics to one of their popular encore songs, “We bid you Goodnight”:

    “Lay down my dear brother, lay down and take your rest,
    Won’t you lay your head upon your savior’s chest,
    I love you all, but Jesus loves you the best
    And we bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight.

    I would never ride, well, I would never ride (goodnight, goodnight)
    But His rod and His staff, they comfort me (goodnight, goodnight)
    Tell “A” for the ark, that wonderful boat (goodnight, goodnight)
    Tell “B” for the beast at the ending of the wood (goodnight, goodnight)
    You know it ate all the children when they wouldn’t be good,
    Walking in Jerusalem just like John (goodnight, goodnight)
    I go walking in the valley of the shadow of death,
    And we bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight”.
    This had to have been one of the most intellectually irresponsible articles I have ever read.

    • carpedog

      Don’t bother. A bunch of studies have found that showing these people the facts won’t change their minds but just make them dig in deeper. Sad, isn’t it?

    • Kay C. Jonestownkoolaid

      But what about the sacrifices they do to the rats on the wharf? Even their name, D E A D? Are you stupid Mark? Clearly they are driven by the reptilian brained satin worshipers and they have you brain washed! Read the article again! It’s on the computer so it’s REAL!!!

      • Mark

        What. Have you ever listen to the song “wharf rat”. It’s about two down and out people on a wharf. I don’t sacrifice rats. Where did you get this stuff? Also, look up “grateful dead” in the dictionary. They chose that name because in order to appreciate the good things in life you have to go through the bad. That is what Grateful Dead means. Again, you’re responsible journalism without any research or fact checking. And you support somebody like trump who is been married, threw times, never goes to church, has a history of denigrating women and taking advantage of people. You are a walking/writing paradox.

        • Mr. Charlie M .5 S.U.Toodleoo

          You are going to H E double hockey sticks Mark of the BEAST if you keep listening to this blasphemy! What about the song Friends with the devil? BAM! BURN! (in hell!) What about Dinosaur? We ALL KNOW they never existed, it was just Satan’s little joke. Do your research about the evils of this “band” of dark star prophets!

      • Susze Barrington Newland

        I am here to say ,Kay, I got your sarcasm. I think it is amazing how people react to their OWN misunderstanding of what is clearly meant as HUMOR, it’s like witnessing the formation of a mob.

        • UnderMindControl

          Dead heads are brainwashed and cant take a joke, Im one of the few smart Dead heads…. I get the joke

          • IJR

            A smart person would know how to use the ellipsis and when not to use it.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Even a friend of the Devil can quote Scripture to suit his own purpose

    • UnderMindControl

      it is satire, man Deadheads are dense, bet ya the writer loves the Dead

    • IJR

      Weir is a murderer. Listen to Dead and co do Shakedown St or The Other One at 65 bpm.

  • R Money

    Does he accept AARP discounts?

  • Light Warrior

    Drivin That Train High On Propane. With A Nitrous Chaser…..:)

    • Jackie Martin

      Balloon in each hand smiling on a cloudy day on Shakedown Street

  • IJR

    Bob Weir is aligned with Satan. He has eaten baby parts on stage.

    • carpedog

      Ha! Hahaha. I just about squirted coffee out my nose. Well done, you get the award for Comment of the Day.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Didn’t he once bite the head off a gerbil and tear up a photo of Trump on stage?

      • IwasTonto Goldberg

        That was Ozzy Osborne, biting the head off a live bat. He was raised a nice Jewish boy but fell in with a rough rock ‘n roll crowd. I am not aware of any musician tearing up a photo of our great president Trump yet, but I still have hope.

      • IJR

        Nope. He did once accidentally take a sleeping pill before playing and passed out onstage, mid song.

  • August West

    Unfortunately this is not a joke. See her take on the women’s march in Jan.
    http://harddawn.com/womens-march-celebrates-trump/

    On the surface some might find this “funny” or “amusing”, this is exactly how Trump got elected.

    It is scary that people write this and even scarier that folks beleive this crap.

    • IwasTonto Goldberg

      This is the result of the Republicans gutting real-world education in favor of conservative facts.

      • Stephenson_Billings

        “Educators” and “scientists” have always monopolized schooling in America so isn’t it about time you gave conservatives there chance?

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Some people even use “Scarequotes.”

    • IJR

      I am apoplectic.

  • haha!

  • Stephenson_Billings

    Now that’s the sort of investigative piece I’d love to see CNN do, but of course they’re too busy spinning Deep State hoaxes. I actually wrote about Bobby’s heavy metal cover band “Grateful Dead” a few years back:

    “How the Grateful Dead Inspired Me to Devote My Life to Patriotism and American Values”
    http://harddawn.com/how-the-grateful-dead-inspired-me-to-devote-my-life-to-patriotism/

    • Kaylee-Aurora

      Great read! I had heard a little about Greatful Dead but didn’t realize the connection to Weir was so big.

    • Cassidy Pen

      Wasn’t Weir the one that wanted to play “wooden” music and drove the producer nuts by demanding the sound of heavy air?

  • carpedog

    OMG that made me laugh! Thank you for the Tuesday morning pick-me-up!

  • LeglizHemp

    That is Hilarious, thanks for the laugh.

  • c0wfunk

    desperately searching for the parody tag on this website. Kayelee-Aurora, oh honey, no.

  • @angorki

    All true. I was a victim of this cult for over 35 years. I was bombarded with drugs, bad music and radical thinking. Relief came through family intervention and now I’m a Belieber. If you meet the indoctrinated do not approach. Consider them dangerous.

    • Kaylee-Aurora

      Strange thing is if you get close they all have this weird smell I think its called “pawtchowli” oil and its part of pagan witchcraft and then the next thing you know you’ll find yourself quitting your job in the back of some VW van speeding to Colorado and smoking the mary jane and is that really the America President Trump wants for any of us?

      • Frank

        Press coal hard enough you can make a diamond

    • Kelly Dutcher

      The Manson Family was a cult. The Grateful Dead is a band. Sorry you are so feeble minded you try and blame your addictions on some band. Isn’t taking responsibility one of those 12 steps?

  • Daniel Sullivan

    This is satire, right?

    • Rocky T. Sineteest

      No. Nope. uht uh. Wrong. This is FOR REAL. Because internet.

  • Beth Welch Okonczak

    This is great satire! Lololol

  • Scratchme

    I’ve been suspecting this for some time.

  • SkydogRules

    Sign me up, Weir and company make great music, and the Grateful Dead brings a wonderful smile to my face!!

  • Dancing Bare

    “He has a history of these shenanigans going back at least ten years.”

    Funniest line in the whole thing! Yes princess, I know you’re new to the world outside your husband’s church group, but it’s been happening a wee bit longer than that!

  • Dr. C

    LOL…

  • RodneyR

    Don’t respond to this moronic bitch and this idiotic article. It’s just satire trying to get you worked up. It’s obvious that she didn’t do ANY research before composing this…

    • IJR

      Research the ellipsis.

  • Cassidy Pen

    This man is an “Ace” of manipulation. I’ve heard many legends about him and his merry band of pranking outlaws…water balloons spiked with ellis-dee, drunk raves, and other woeful escapades throughout the years. He needed a miracle to survive and he got a few A bit of a loser to be honest, but never the less, he still manipulates with a new band of misfits going round and round this Earth.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Great points, my friend!!!!!

      All this begs the question, “Is my mother safe?”

      This is why I vote Trump because I want the answer to be “YES!” each and every morning I wake up in America.

    • Jackie Martin

      Dagnabbitt, now we done skint the Kat. We have a notion that Evil Man Popcorn Sutton has been known to sell that evil Spirit known as whitelighing In Mason jars. On some golden road called shakedown street.
      N C Rowjimmy

  • Rob Trummer

    This made me laugh it should have been posted on April fools day.

  • Jim

    Thank’s Bobby for finally taking the heat off Jerry

  • Pig Farmer Bill

    Good grief, this nation has larger problems then Bob playing his music. Dang fools make up all kinds of trash. What about the tons of drugs coming over the borders from Mexico? What about the the American people being murdered by gang members. Do you really think an old hippie is a problem?

  • Adam Shaw

    This would by absolutely hysterical satire if the writer wasn’t being serious…..what head injuries have you suffered to come up with this story??

  • Jerry garcia

    Your a waste of oxygen

    • IJR

      *You’re

  • unacat

    Who is this bitch? Get a grip, asshole.

  • Brad Rifenburgh

    Your an ass. The good ol grateful dead ain’t nothin to fuck with

    • IJR

      *You’re
      Now run through the lot in your patchwork pants yelling, “FAAAAAAAMMMMMMIIIIIIILLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY”

      Weir is a murderer. Listen to Dead and co do Shakedown St or The Other One at 65 bpm. First degree murder of perfectly good songs.

  • Steve Walker

    o my gosh quick roll a fatty , arm the guards put on a 30 min Playin in the band ooooooooooo no D A R K
    S T A R …. CHILDREN OF THE MAN CALLED G A R C I A OOOOO NO here comes sunshine dont eat it… do not drink the water and PLEASE DONT EAT YELLOW SNOW

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Off to the FEMA Camps for you, hippie!

  • Robert Johnson

    It’s been over fifty years and you’ll never stop us. Weir everywhere!!! In your schools, in your home’s, in the United States Senate, Weir everywhere, and we’ll keep on dancing!!!!!

  • Daniel Maddux

    Well, this article has firmly planted my tongue into my cheek!!

  • jonjedi

    Lies and ignorance describe this article.

    To cite Alex Jones as a “credible” source should tell anyone with an IQ above 65 that this Kaylee-Aurora is an Ajax snorting know nothing.

    • IJR

      Some say cucumbers taste better pickled.

  • Frank Columbo

    I may be going to hell in a bucket
    But at least I’m enjoying the ride

  • markprichard

    Do you write for the Onion? Seems maybe only fiction.

    • Blues4Allah

      She only wishes she was good enough to write for onion. She wishes she had a writing job that actually paid the bills.

  • Blues4Allah

    Kaylee, you are so clueless. I am assuming you wrote this uninformed inflamatory fairy tale based on your lack of knowledge, and desire to get readership.
    Bob continues in the tradition of Jerry Garcia in his Jam Band genre, allowing you to get away from set musical score, and improvise your talents, and have the rest of the band be so in sync, and so talented they can follow your musical lead.
    If you’d stop listening to rap and hip hop long enough, you’d have done your homework and seen that the Dead have been the HIGHEST GROSSING act on tour for many years.
    He is an activist, the head of many charitable foundations, on the board of directors of many non-profits, and has given of himself more time than you ever will to make this world a better place.
    Bob has survived the 60’s and 70’s and the drug culture that there was no honest information about
    He is clean and sober for over 2 years now. He sells out every single venue he books
    Your statements show how little research and knowledge you have as a so-called reporter.

    Is Bob perfect? no. Are you? no.

    This world would be a far better place if you paid attention to the message he sends both through his music, actions, and attitude.

    A reporter should be knowledgable and research the subject they report on.

    To use your ignorant , self serving opinions, without any research or regard for the truth , borders on criminal.

    You are GUILTY of FAKE NEWS

    Too bad you’ll never open your eyes and see why he has millions of fans and a career that has spanned 50 years.

    By the way, you don;t need to look in Grandparents stuff, last night more than 50% of the crowd was in their 20s and younger. If you are a reporter, then report. If its personal opinion without a shred of truth, say so

    • IJR

      Weir is a murderer. Listen to Dead and co do Shakedown St or The Other One at 65 bpm. First degree murder of perfectly good songs.

  • Scott Sutherland

    You’re kidding, right? This is a satire news site, correct?

  • Deborah Lawrence

    laughable

  • rich plummer

    Excellent piece of satirical writing. You truly captured the clueless nature of the typical Bible thumper. I anxiously await your article on how Ted Nugent and Kid Rock are Angels of the Lord. You should really consider writing for The Onion.

    • rich plummer

      Poe’s Law in action

      • Stephenson_Billings

        Trump is repealing all those old ridiculous laws to make our business environment great again!

  • Brook Dang Jones

    Now Trump supporters are targeting Bob Weir? Y’all are ridiculous! Funny shit tho! How about the fact that Trump’s new health care plan wants 1/3 of your pay each year as a premium, for elderly Americans? Deflect much? Whoever wrote this is an idiot and should be bitch slapped.

    • IJR

      Read it again, out loud.

      lol

  • Ang

    Kaylee, you are one funny girl!

  • Orly MacGregor

    I’m sure you would be shocked to know that Jerry Garcia was an Episcopalian.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Catholic

    • IJR

      Satanist

  • Drakorus Fellwing

    Anyone who repeats Trump idioms doesn’t deserve to write news pages XD

  • Jeff

    Don’t worry Kaylee, everything is fine as long as they play mostly songs penned by Hunter (many biblical references) and not Barlow (he had something to do with the start up of that evil internet thing).

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Barlow is the religious scholar

      • IJR

        Hunter is the one who wrote good songs. How many Barlow songs turned into legit second set songs?

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Are you saying he doesn’t have an honor’s degree in comparative religions? Let he who is without sin be the one throwing stones.

          • IJR

            I am saying that Barlow is not in the same league as Hunter. And that bobby is a murderer.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            That was his brother, Esau

  • Siobhan

    You’re an idiot … this is the stupidest article I have read… you have no clue what our CULT.. lol is about.. it’s about making us aware of the spiritual realms and ideologues… that the government doesn’t want us to be aware of.. we aren’t puppets .. we are dead heads.. much of the Grateful Dead stems from biblical forces… it brings us together as a whole, all the lost and all of the dysfunctional and intelligent all together… in one union for Light and. Love.

    • IJR

      Are you in the cult of ellipsis abuse?
      Weir is a murderer. Listen to Dead and co do Shakedown St or The Other One at 65 bpm. First degree murder of perfectly good songs.

  • Oldskool PAUTZ

    Wow U are one fucked-up human. There’s medicine for freaks like U. Totally ignorant and STUPID. U owe Bob Wier an apology if U have any BALLS. I have been a Deadbeat since 14, now 63!! U’re Trumpster mentality is that of a Jerry Springer road show. Dude do some homework. I have been a clinical therapist retired now for 43 years and U are mentally ill!! Get some help. I have been on tour this month with Dead & Company and this is my FAMILY; the vibe of the Tribe!! Those nomads who follow the Dead are the kindest best people on this earth. U’re bland ignorance is sad to say U’re mind is poisoned. Go plant a tree, flowers, help a person in need bit stay the hell of Bob’s life. Remember I’m watching U and will protect the integrity of my family. Look this up there’snocureforsrupid.com….Oldskool Pautz!!

    • IJR

      Protect the integrity of your family?
      LOL
      You have much bigger issues.

  • Gary Charles

    Weir-dos would never shop at Walmart, even if purple elephants were available there …

  • Friend of Mr. Dobbs

    Are you people for real or is this just incredibly well done sarcasm. The Grateful Dead are just another beautifully put together band that has been around since 1965. Don’t you think that if they had some satanic purpose to enslave the masses that they would have achieved that by now…its been 50 years. If you want to see mindless sheep, go to any church on Sunday, that is where you will find the people who question nothing they are told and follow a book written by men 1,000 years ago and edited more than the New York Times.

  • Melanie Collins Pennock

    Some of you posting are as dumb as dirt! I suppose you listen to old vinyl LP’s backwards to hear the hidden message, too! Go smoke a bowl!

  • The Dye

    Just proves three are idiots on both sides.The Dead a cult?…next you’ll be told Dead Heads are a racist Antifa offspring. Sounds like this author (who knows nothing about the Grateful Dead) has been dancing with Mary Jane herself….this is so laughable .

    • BreakingDeadMen

      If the Dead aren’t a cult, I wasted half of my life.

    • IJR

      Weir is a murderer. Listen to Dead and co do Shakedown St or The Other One at 65 bpm. First degree murder of perfectly good songs

  • Jackie Martin

    Deadheads are kind, with very few exceptions. They donate to good causes. Try getting your facts straight before you judge Bobby or Phil.
    Sounds like you are uptight! Chill out and stop hating. How many shows have you been to?
    That’s what I thought.
    Seriously?
    James Beaver

    • IJR

      Weir is a murderer. Youtube Dead and co do Shakedown St or The Other One at 65 bpm. First degree murder of perfectly good songs.

  • David R Velasquez

    What infantile nonsense you scribble. Maybe you should get your dosage upped.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      They already did a ten strip

  • Adam

    Is this site satire? I honestly can’t tell.

  • Robert A Haut Jr

    This is the most ignorant piece of journalistic garbage and hate that I have ever read. You and your editor should be ashamed of yourselves for letting this spew fly. You obviously have no clue how stupid you just made yourselves look. Sad.

    • IJR

      what does satire smell like?

      • Jackie Martin

        “Like Victory “

        • IJR

          Or weed and icy hot

  • Robert A Haut Jr

    Oh wait. These people aren’t serious. This whole website is Christian satire. And the funny part is the folks who wrote in their amens.

  • Melissa Tompkins Jones

    Praise be GOD for the GRATEFUL DEAD.

  • HIPPIEMOMA

    NFA

  • Meredith Simmons

    This is the dumbest article I have ever read. I’m pretty sure I lost brain cells. It no wonder a trump supporter wrote it

    • IJR

      Bob Weir is a murderer. Listen to Dead and co do Shakedown St or The Other One at 65 bpm. First degree murder of perfectly good songs.

  • Tom Boshamer

    That awkward moment when you post a satirical article so outlandish no one will believe you’re serious, and they do.

  • Steve Eitzen

    This is pure satire…. they are joking

  • Mickey

    Hail Bob Weir for ‘Playing in the Band’ and enabling us to share in the memory of Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead. Since ‘He’s Gone’, many thought the Grateful Dead would become a ‘Brokendown Palace’ and we deadheads would ‘Beat it down the line’ but truth be told many happy faces still enjoy this wonderful dynamic music live and the Dead’s fan base continues to grow and transcend all generations. My advise to the author, let’s call her ‘Bertha’ is please “Don’t Come Around Here Anymore”. And remember you are the ‘Eyes of the World’.

    • IJR

      “Don’t Murder Me” said the songs, “Shakedown St” and “Rhe Other One.” Then Bob murders them at 65 beats per minute.

  • Steve Eitzen

    Lol…. this is too funny! Most people wont even realize that it is a joke

  • J

    Who allows people that have done no research at all to write this stuff !!! The editor of this site should be fired… Please go do some home work, or write articles about something you know about,like shoes, or how to repel men … I think you need a few more years of grad school ! Maybe you should try a new profession in retail …

  • steve m

    you all have no idea how hard Chrichton College works at turning fools into idiots…

    they don’t always succeed but with Kaylee-Aurora they excelled.

    so please support their efforts by making a tax free donation….

    😉

  • James

    Some crazy fucking satire, man

  • Steve

    What a hoot of an article. I am a senior and I’ll take my chances. Kaylee what a great comedy piece.

  • Kelly Dutcher

    Whoever wrote this is a complete freaking moron! Pathetic!

  • Alex Hutson

    Wow. You’ve successfully raised my bar for prideful ignorance. Even President Trump would look at you with disappointment & say that you should go learn something or at least stay out of everyone’s way like the elderly & physically invalid

  • Gerri Jarsea

    Wow just wow. I hope the band doesn’t read this. They may never play loud again thinking it’s the decibels fuckin’ all your 2 celled mellons. I don’t know what’s sadder the fact they don’t get it or the retarded indignity and replies. Maybe drugs are bad.

  • ryan kapp

    i think this was meant to be a joke.

    • Blanche Beecham

      Being a proud American is no joke, unless you embrace the radical, dirty hippy lifestyle of unkempt body hair and drug filed nights of endless debasing sexual congress. Sure you can “blend in” to the copse of human vegetation that is passed off as fans at one of these rock-n-rolla concert, but you’re going to need a tub full of tomato juice to neutralize the stink afterwards.

      • Stephenson_Billings

        God bless YOU BB for setting these hippies straight!

      • IJR

        I love you.

      • A. Paul Ed Tooltoo

        More… Like Blanche… Bitch L…O…L…! Who are you two decide… how some one keeps there hare…? And theres know A… “after” -ROLL-.! And another thing Blanche. There our going two be people mocking me…just watch. But I dont care because this band IS about evil and drugs always…And Bob IS a murderer… …

        • Blanche Beecham

          Rii–ight – “Tooltoo” – More like SCREW LOOSE in the Noggin’

      • Jackie Martin

        Go eat a grilled cheese sandwich!

  • IJR

    Bob Weir is a murderer. Go to youtube and listen to Dead and co do Shakedown St or The Other One at 65 bpm. First degree murder of perfectly good songs.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      It’s upsetting to me how much he’s undermining John Mayer’s singing.

      • IJR

        His phrasing on Jerry tunes is weird.

        • Stephenson_Billings

          Probably why he quit the band in the first place!

          • IJR

            That and so he could have more time for murder.

  • Senor Leche

    Kaylee is a dumb, ignorant, clueless moron. She has no idea what’s she’s talking about. Someone should this dipsh*t a one way ticket to Mars. What a clown.

    • Blanche Beecham

      Who do you think you are – and what are you doing on this side of the wall?

  • Hobart Smedley

    If this page is intended to be satire, it’s brilliantly done. I’m kind of afraid that it’s not though…

  • David Kallechey

    That was hilarious. I’ve been apart of this cult for 35 plus years. Long live The Bob Weir.

  • Jack Foulkes

    Oh Kaylee you kookie little nut you. The cult has been happening since 1965 and you missed the bus.

  • LoneStarDead72

    Lol. never heard of the guy 🙂

  • Im 50 and and have followed the dead since I was 18 years old. This artical is complete bullshit. Don’t beileve a word of it…

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Oh god! Are your children and grandchildren aware of this? I feel like someone needs to call the authorities.

  • This is the biggest FAKE NEWS I have ever read! You should do some reseach before you post

  • Will Mcguire

    Fuck it, who cares anyway.

  • Peter_M67

    That is one tiny joint in the picture. I am surprised that the old fogies can even see it.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      HA!!!!!

  • ZZardozz

    Cannabis was the #2 Doctor Recommended medication in America for over 100 years. The idea that it isn’t is the new, radical idea. Cannabis is an older person’s friend, and enables them to avoid the chemical monstrosities that are foisted upon us by Big Pharma. Do your research. It’s not about left or right wing politics. It’s a fact!

  • The elderly are hard of hearing…imagine how free and close to the lord they must be.

  • L Scott

    I saw the satanic rock cult tonight and 2 nights ago and I’m going tomorrow too.

    It’s all true. The elderly were lined up by AARP number and forced “to praise Bobby”. He threatened to cause tornados in their grandkids’ towns if they didn’t because, as everyone knows, Bob Weir Controls The Weather! Then they had to give Bob all of their Lipitor, Prilosec and banking information all the while in the background Jeff and O’Teil were wailing chants of lament and sacrificing goats. At least that’s how I remember it.

    Here’s the satanic worshiping death cult’s set lists.
    Chicago 6/30
    Music Never Stopped
    Bertha
    Me and my uncle
    Sugaree
    Let It Grow
    Uncle Johns Band

    Shakedown St.
    Dark Star
    St. Stephen
    China Doll
    Terrapin Station
    Uncle Johns Reprise
    Drums
    Space
    Standing on the moon
    Help on the way
    Slipknot
    Franklins Tower

    Ripple
    US Blues

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