It’s Time for Tiny Rhode Island to Forfeit Its Fantasy of Statehood

Posted on Aug 7, 2014 - 6:36pm by Derby Mack
Rhode Islander

Rhode Islanders like to think of themselves as the center of the universe, but it’s more like a black hole of vice and graft.

Mention the name “Rhode Island” and many Americans will scratch their heads. A glitzy New York suburb? A down-market Caribbean vacation spot? Maybe a cancelled reality series from the producers of Survivor and Top Gear? The sad truth is that Rhode Island is none of these things, and a little bit of all of them.

In fact, the name denotes an odious slice of the northeastern United States where political hacks and prostitutes, college professors and pension-padding state workers vie for power in a sickening pageant of progressivism. Most scandalous of all: this blister on our body politic is not an island by any measure, but it is a full-fledged state!

As a wholly accredited state, Rhode Island enjoys all the federal privileges of much more established, ethically accountable places such as Texas or Iowa. Yes, you heard that right, this bankrupt backwater, so corrupt it put its local mafia out of business decades ago, somehow warrants a full slate of Representatives in Congress and two Senators, despite being no larger than a Kentucky pig farm.

The reason why Rhode Island is so very dangerous — and why it poses a threat to the financial health of the United States — is that the people there have pioneered a new form of radical liberalism that can be simply described as, crony socialism. This is a state where “I know a guy” is the unofficial motto and where the vast majority aspire to live off the government teat. The government, in turn, has been forced by its all-powerful unions to fund every possible expense, from pension credits for legislators’ jail time, to outsized overtime pay for firemen, which in one instance reached $218,000 in a single year. Where does the money come from? By taxing any hint of private enterprise into extinction.

When the state ultimately goes belly up, will hardworking taxpayers from the rest of the nation foot the bill? Will the Democrat Party attempt to impose the Rhode Island model on other localities to hasten our march to socialism? Whatever the future holds, one fact does not bode well for our children: the toxic mix of union power and liberal entitlements has helped “Lil Rhody” attain the highest per capita rate of marijuana abuse in the country.

From Roger Williams to Rogue’s Island

To understand why America is burdened with such a geographic gaffe, we must look back to the 17th century when a scoundrel by the name of Roger Williams decided to turn away from Christianity and “go native.” It was 1636 and a cruel winter was pounding the Massachusetts Bay Colony. Our land’s earliest religious pilgrims needed to work together to survive the cold. Fearing the rigors of all that, Williams absconded to the south of Boston with a rambunctious band of Indian warriors. He set up a hedonistic little village on the edge of a swamp. The place was called “Providence Plantation” and the rest, tragically, is graffitied across our nation’s history.

Pirates, slave traders and political dissidents soon made Providence Plantation and the surrounding colony of Rhode Island their home. These miscreants prided themselves on Williams’ independent streak and had very little patriotism for the birth of this nation. In fact, Rhode Island was the first to lynch a British trade ship for its foreign wares, while being the very last of the original thirteen colonies to ratify the United States Constitution. This misbegotten municipality quickly became so notorious for its vice it earned the nickname, “Rogue’s Island.”

The local cuisines consisted of a ball of fried grease known as "the clam cake."

The gut-splitting local diet consists of a pink drink called, “Awful Awful,” and a ball of grease known as “the clammy cake.”

In the 19th century, hordes of boozy Irish and Italians took refuge here, opting for a land of rocky soil and deeply rooted incompetence rather than any place with a Puritan work ethic. They brought with them so much graft that noted historian Lincoln Steffens dubbed Rhode Island a, “State for Sale” and wrote a damning indictment of its widespread corruption.

Is it any surprise that such an indolent people would be the first to introduce America to the debauched distractions of the circus, the car race, motion pictures and socialist strikes by women? They even had time left over to pioneer the worst of hipster facial hair fashions and turn the estimable United States Navy into a hotbed of homosexual carnality. This inspired one temporary resident, Edgar Allen Poe, to invent the genre of horror literature. Poe needed a fictional escape from the real life terrors he found himself surrounded by every day in Rogue’s Island.

The Cianci Curse

Today, Rhode Island is most notorious for Supreme Court Justices who perform mafia weddings, a sex festival so raunchy that even Bill O’Reilly couldn’t get it shut down, a credit union crisis so severe it triggered America’s S&L meltdown, a mayor who regularly appeared high on cocaine in public, a governor not afraid to dumpster dive for his graft, a legislature so incompetent it inadvertently legalized “indoor prostitution,” the $5,000 bribes required to pass police exams, the $50 bribes that lower your property taxes, a degree of political correctness so extreme that they tried to rename manholes, “personholes” so as to not offend female construction workers, state workers whose greatest dream in life is to retire on fake disability claims so that they can comment angrily on every Providence Journal article from the comfort of their Florida vacation homes without interruption, a tax-avoiding scumbag who introduced middle-aged male frontal nudity to primetime television, a library system so bankrupt it needed liberal buffoon Alec Baldwin to bail it out, policemen who would rather dance in the streets in fancy jodhpurs than do actual work, brutal Satanic rituals aimed at naïve college students, homeless “artists” who seize public malls as their private living quarters, a river so polluted that officials regularly light it on fire to burn off the trash, a drunken public so easily amused that they celebrate these river fires as spur-of-the-moment fertility rituals, some of the most insanely leftwing institutions of higher learning in our nation and an abhorrent trend of anti-American graffiti that was unscrupulously usurped by a wanted felon and used as a crucial element in Barack Obama’s propaganda campaign, thus insuring his seizure of the White House… And then there’s that state mascot, a cartoon character named Stewie Griffin (who is, in fact, a gay infant obsessed with bestiality). That state “appetizer” (calamari, which is also a codeword for a crude homosexual sex act). And that sad, sad state “Holiday Tree.” Thanks Governor Grinch!

Mayor Rapist Buddy Cianci, a local hero.

Toupéed Buddy Cianci, a Rhode Island hero.

Let’s not forget college rapist and ex-con Vincent J. “Buddy” Cianci, Jr.! While Mayor of Providence, this ludicrously toupéed cretin kidnapped a local business leader and beat him down with a fireplace log. The state’s Attorney General and several policemen were there to cheer Mayor Buddy on. Months later, when the whole sordid tale became public, Cianci was forced by law to resign. Of course, the illiterate electorate re-elected this thug a few years later. His comeback was so rife with corruption that the feds formally named his office (beneath an extravagant gilded cupola) “Plunder Dome.” From cops to councilmen, every municipal palooka fought for “a piece of the action.” During his final days as mayor, Cianci hid out in his city’s gay discos where he cultivated a devoted following of drag queens.

When the FBI finally swooped in, the mayor was charged with racketeering, conspiracy, extortion, witness tampering and mail fraud. The judge pardoned his hairpiece but Cianci himself spent the next five years at the Federal Correctional Institution at Fort Dix. Upon his release, the crook was celebrated as a local hero and only weeks ago it was announced that, yes, rapist Buddy Cianci is once again running for Mayor of Providence!

Clam Cakes, Back Hair & Weather Mystics

Friends might say I’m obsessed with Rhode Island, but these are just the quick jottings of a casual observer. I had the misfortune of spending a summer in this place a long, long time ago (my uncle was attached to the Navy College in Newport). Of all my dreadful experiences there, the one most deeply etched in my memory is the time I saw two of “Lil Rhody’s” most beloved heroes — John Ghiorse and Art Lake — fight it out in front of the Blue Grotto restaurant, as a posse of Patriarca toughs held a half dozen Providence patrolmen at bay. Lake and Ghiorse happened to be the local weathermen and their tussle was over whose “Doppler” had more oomph. As oracles of sudden rainstorms and school cancellations, these men were worshipped as mystics among the superstitious population of Rhode Island. Much like the state itself, it was not a pretty sight.

This drawbridge in Providence has been stuck in the up position for 40 years.

Stuck in the “up” position for 40 years, this vital bridge linking Providence to Massachusetts is one of the state’s most famous symbols of apathy and economic decay.

Speaking of sights, it should be noted that Rhode Island has no noteworthy landmarks if you discount the methadone clinics, crumbling factory buildings and ample parking lots. The entire place rises only a few feet above sea level, which may explain why it smells of low tide and car exhaust everywhere you go. Its beaches are rocky and cold; its women no different. These types of gals wear their hair colored like straw and teased to laughable heights. Their favorite perfume combines the mystery of warm beer with the glamour of halitosis. You could say the men aspire to be guidos, but they’d need vocabulary lessons from Jersey Shore and major back waxing to rise a notch above their current armpit-scratching, ape-like status. (Wannabe guido culture is so big in Rhode Island that even the local Jews, French-Canadians and Portuguese are now gelling their hair and racing down I-95 in souped-up Camaros.)

Providence, the capital and most populated city, has been devoid of commerce and industry for half a century. In its place, a gang of universities has set up shop. These wackadoodle socialist training centers spit out a regular parade of sullen alums who quickly graduate to listless hipster lifestyles in those decrepit old warehouses. Other than that, Providence is only notable for Cianci’s crimes, though locals celebrate a comic book high rise and a Depression-era hot dog cart as if they were the Twin Towers and the Alamo combined.

Lil Rhody’s cuisine consists of a damp, fermented ball of griddle grease known as a “clam cake” and a type of liquefied pink slime called, the “Awful Awful.” The dialect here is painfully throaty and high-pitched at the same time. A screechy rat-a-tat-tat of language, punctuated with “yeeeh” and “wicked” and “like” every four or five words. “Yeeh, like the Foxy Lady is wicked cool cause they got, like, that Legs N’ Eggs special, my mutha working there, she’s like “You gots to go!”  and anyhow she out meetin’ guys now cause my fadder down the ACI for that thing… But he knows a guy.”

Low-numbered license plates are a status symbol in this

Low-numbered license plates are a symbol of political power in this car-obsessed haven of cronyism. (Source: Wikipedia.)

Revoke Rhode Island

How can we, as Americans, respond to the economic and political quagmire that is Rhode Island? As evidenced above, the state has utterly forfeited its right to exist as a fully vested territory of this country. It is so small, so incestuous and so corrupt, that its crony socialism has become the defining characteristic of her people. To put it bluntly, Rhode Island needs to be stopped before its disease of radical liberalism spreads any further and puts all of our nation’s children at risk.

Unbelievable as it may sound, Rhode Island does have its cheerleaders. Mark Patinkin and the folks at Buzzfeed regularly extol the virtues of America’s smallest state. Yet they rarely touch on the very serious issues raised here (I could throw in a litany of other names these journalists never mention in their “Best of Rhode Island” lists, such as Claus Von Bulow, Alan Shawn Feinstein, Peter Gilbert, Phillipe & Gorge…. but all this doom and gloom has made me weary.)

Some have suggested slicing the state down the middle and giving half to Connecticut and half to Massachusetts. Personally, I’m not a fan of pawning off palookaville on the neighbors, but it is a thought. The Navy Corps of Engineers often dynamites decommissioned ships and lets them sink to the bottom of the sea. There’s something romantic about the idea. Some day that detritus may attract a bit of seaweed and a few fish, giving someone such as myself a pleasant afternoon of sport if he anchors nearby. Considering all the headaches that Rhode Island has caused the elder generation of this nation, I think it would be a fitting end for this wicked little state.

 

About This Journalist

Founder, Editor-in-Chief and CEO of HardDawn.com, Derby Mack is an American Patriot who has dedicated his life to loving his country and preparing his family for the National Apocalypse. He would like to thank the Founding Fathers, President Reagan and Jesus Christ for the opportunity to share Wisdom with every member of the HardDawn.com community. God Bless and Stay Vigilant!

  • Michael1981

    Brilliant! If that mayor gets reelected, I vote for the dynamite option, though they will essentially be doing it to themselves in that case. How very sad.

  • CranstonDoc

    Everything about Rhode Island is corrupt. Just try getting permission to extend your own house a little bit into your own property. They all come wanting a little envelope in their back pocket. The state can never attract new business and this is one of the reasons, in addition to the taxes being simply insane and every state worker guaranteed a lifetime job and then they retire with a stubbed toe at 48 and just go boating all day or clog up the golf courses. None of these people understand what hard work is really about, but they have an expectation that since everyone else is robbing the state blind, they have get what they can before the gravy train stops.

    There’s a reason why the beaches are full on a Friday, yet the DMV and other state agencies are shuttered. These people just don’t like to work. Same with Mondays after a holiday. Every public school teach calls in sick. We have the worst rates of attendance by TEACHERS in the nation.

    • Shitonyou

      If you “like” to work you’re living life wrong and I feel sorry for you. Coming from someone who has lived in Rhode Island my whole life I can say that my family added an addition that doubled the size of our house with no trouble from the state and when I was in school I never had a teacher call in sick after vacation, that’s just a ridiculous statement. My father is 54 and still works everyday along with my mother who is 50. I’m not sure where your getting your “facts” from but you have no right to say that everyone from RI doesn’t know what “hard work” is. I myself worked 7 days a week this summer 4 of which days were double shifts. I guarantee you don’t work as hard as that and I’m still a college student so you can suck my balls WICKED hard.

  • Stephenson_Billings

    Derby, as always your journalism is heartfelt and wise. Thank you for bringing attention to this crisis. I love ideas like this. We need them as we try to take the air out of the sails of leftwing extremism. Get rid of all these liberal states and bring back the proper balance to Congress! And to the White House! If not, the good states should secede and leave Massachusets to deal with this Rhode Island mess.

    • Robin WiIlliams

      You do realize that you need to find more legitimate claims, and work
      harder on your fake accounts if you’re going to be attempting to make
      people think that other people agree with your ideas, right? You have 4
      followers, and they’re all the same people, why do you have everyone
      following each other? If you’re going to make fake accounts and post
      with them on your own site, you should probably at least make them have
      different followers, or be private… or anything really. It’s funny
      how transparent you people really are. Good luck deceiving the the
      painfully dumb and already needy. You’re a blight on civilized human
      culture :))

      • Stephenson_Billings

        Oh goodness, that’s just rich. You think this website is some big conspiracy of deception?

        I’ve never looked at my followers honestly, but I’ll venture a guess that they’re all good friends of mine. Who cares? Your nonsense (which you cut and pasted close to a dozen times before it was flagged as spam) is full of paranoia and delusion.

        I’ll tell you what’s a blight on our civilization, it’s the close-minded and humorless fools such as yourself who refuse to question anything the mainstream media or the politician of the day wants to stuff down your throat.

        And invoking the name of a dead comedian for a quick laugh, a performer who I happen to have an incredible amount of respect for, is pathetic.

    • David Hartnett

      This article is a bunch of crap none of this is even true. They are just trying to make us look bad so they can influence their political views.

  • Blanche Beecham

    Rhode island boasts the least number of Juggalos on the east cost. I think it is because it is illegal to bite off anyone’s leg or body appendage.

    TITLE 11
    Criminal Offenses
    CHAPTER 11-29
    Mayhem
    SECTION 11-29-1

    � 11-29-1 Penalty for mutilation or disabling. � Every person who shall voluntarily, maliciously or of purpose put out an eye, slit the nose, ear, or lip, or cut off, bite off, or disable any limb or member of another, shall be imprisoned not exceeding twenty (20) years nor less than one year.

    Laws work, People!

    • Stephenson_Billings

      I think the reason is that even the Juggalos know Rogue Island is a dump!

      • Blanche Beecham

        Rhode Island could avoid the shame of smallness by becoming the US penal colony for the dark storm of illegals flooding this country. Just throwing that out there. I recently watched Escape from New York with Goldie Hawnah’s husband. I don’t know why we don’t implement something like that, just run some fence and maybe in 100 years we can have our own Australia.

        • Kaylee-Aurora

          I think thats how they started as a prison and then the convicts had children and now a few generations later this is what you get. No surprise.

          • Blanche Beecham

            That probably explains why the children from R.I. are so unattractive. It really is about breeding.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            I like that Elizabeth HasselBack. She’s a handsome woman, but I suppose she left Rhode Island decades ago. Charlie Day is another actor from here according to Wikipedia and he looks like a ferret with rabies.

          • Blanche Beecham

            Hasselback had her buck teef fixed. My laundry lady’s cousin grew up with Hasselback and said she could eat apples through a picket fence.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            Hahaha. I never knew she had her teeth fixed. Might get mine done some day, they’re the color of bananas!

          • Robin WiIlliams

            You do realize that you need to find more legitimate claims, and work
            harder on your fake accounts if you’re going to be attempting to make
            people think that other people agree with your ideas, right? You have 4
            followers, and they’re all the same people, why do you have everyone
            following each other? If you’re going to make fake accounts and post
            with them on your own site, you should probably at least make them have
            different followers, or be private… or anything really. It’s funny
            how transparent you people really are. Good luck deceiving the the
            painfully dumb and already needy. You’re a blight on civilized human
            culture :DDD

          • ConcernedCitizen

            I went to school with Charlie…Sounds to me like someones jealous of anothers success…hows that going for ya?

          • HockeyGirl

            Judging by your little picture there, Blanche…you really don’t have room to talk. Do you?

          • Blanche Beecham

            We all have our own beauty that radiates in praise and thanks for life. There are some misguided people that reject that special glow that comes with a life fueled by faith. I can’t help but share it with you Hockey Girl. I will not hide my light under a bushel basket, although I will say I am uncomfortable with you checking me out and valuing me for some lesbian tryst. I am 100% for the men! I will keep you in my prayers.

          • Banana

            No one wants your cobwebbed vagina, and I don’t believe any man or woman would willingly have sex with you! You must have a stock pile of Roffies some Where!!!

          • Blanche Beecham

            The love I share with my husband fills my cup and nourishes my feminine garden. Your hate is not welcome to join in.

          • Banana

            Is your Husband death dumb and blind? lol

          • Blanche Beecham

            You kids – GET OUTTA MY FEMININE GARDEN!

          • jon

            Who’s this ugly ass Blanche bitch? her dad ever let her out of the stable? Fuck that garden, even worms wont touch that shit!

          • Banana

            Is your Husband deaf dumb and blind? lol

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            I don’t think you would spout such a hateful, judgemental, ignorant and unchristian viewpoint if faith and you husband did truly “fill” your cup.

          • Blanche Beecham

            And more stalking….

          • George A.

            So Blanche, everyone has their own radiating beauty, except for Rhode Islanders. Nice.

          • Blanche Beecham

            George, it is so good to see some good sense in the comments. Bless!

          • Islandah

            Wait. So you’re complaining about how ugly Rhode Island children can be, but don’t they have their own “radiating beauty”, you dumb cunt? There is nothing I hate more than hypocritical religious zealots…

          • drock

            The sad part is you still pray, looking for faith in a mythological person that said “follow me and you shall be saved” well how is that working for you, you inbred piece of shit, if you know anything( and I’m going out on a limb here, because clearly you don’t), you would understand that your “arguments” are nothing more than big words masking a complete moron, with idiotic beliefs, so if you are considering jumping off of a tall, tall cliff, I bid you a farewell because life for a sadistic person as yourself is over and you should just take the jump instead of being engulfed in the beautiful thing called life, it takes someone in a real low spot to beat upon a group of people you clearly know nothing about, so as I conclude my comment and ask this of you, are you that much better than the person you are verbally beating upon?

          • Blanche Beecham

            Condescension. You are not doing it well.

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            drock, she will never answer intelligently or retort to what you say. She will only condescend and spout hateful things. Do not worry these are the sad and hateful handful of folks that are being given the only stage they will see in life. They are the Miley Cyrus of the internet; sucking on the teat of wiser folks and masquerading with a falsity of an intelligent thought when in reality they feed off of public outrage. They are the few and we are the many. Love will win and they will fade into the sad oblivion from whence they came

          • Jim

            Thank you HockeyGirl, she’s a rude bitch and has NO ROOM to talk

          • joe

            By the looks of your pictures you have no right to taking about attractiveness. .. you remind me of the pimple on my ass

          • Banana

            Excuse me Blanche but do they have mirrors in the cave you live in? I don’t think so because you wouldn’t be talking crap about how any child looks! You’re wicked busted

          • Anonymous

            there are no mirrors in the kitchen LOL, where her “loving husband” keeps her. Honestly, if I looked like that, I’d stay in the kitchen too, I wouldn’t want to venture out into the public eye LOL.

          • Robin WiIlliams

            You do realize that you need to find more legitimate claims, and work
            harder on your fake accounts if you’re going to be attempting to make
            people think that other people agree with your ideas, right? You have 4
            followers, and they’re all the same people, why do you have everyone
            following each other? If you’re going to make fake accounts and post
            with them on your own site, you should probably at least make them have
            different followers, or be private… or anything really. It’s funny
            how transparent you people really are. Good luck deceiving the the
            painfully dumb and already needy. You’re a blight on civilized human
            culture :DD

          • ConcernedCitizen

            I have beautiful children…from RI! Could you be anymore ignorant?

          • Me

            Miss universe 2013 is from ri

          • Blanche Beecham

            So is the first circus clown.

          • Enlighten yourself

            Circuses and clowns actually originated in Europe. Be informed.

          • Blanche Beecham

            You enlighten yo’sef – http://www.50states.com/facts/rdisl.htm
            Number 13.
            Stop trying to best your betters

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            No Maim, please educate yourself. Also, just because you read something on a webpage does not make it a fact. Please, do research and find better sources:

            http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/118480/circus#toc254847

          • Blanche Beecham

            Now you’re just stalking me.

          • Blanche Beecham

            True Fact – Americans used the thin onion skin pages of the Encyclopaedia Britannica to roll cigarettes during the depression. Also makes a good fire starter. The EB began as European propaganda to quash the sedition.

          • A.

            Because you’re so attractive. I bet your children are beautiful too. Hahaha

          • Jim

            Have you looked at your picture?! You’re UNATTRACTIVE! Fuck you bitch, keep your words to yourself about us Rhode Islanders

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            Didn’t that “wholly morale” haven of non-corruption Texas just have a Governor arrested for corruption? Isn’t he facing a sentence of 109 years in a Federal prison? Also, doesn’t Mississippi have the highest number of Welfare recipients?

          • Blanche Beecham

            And s’mo stalking

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            I find it curious that you are unable to formulate anything to answer what I have said to you.

          • Blanche Beecham

            I find it curious you inhale the imaginary effluence of your own importance.

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            Also, what is s’mo? I don’t believe that is a correct conjunction but I was after all educated is Rhode Island.

          • Blanche Beecham

            S’mo is hip American language for Some More – I’ll out you as a French troll yet!

          • Blanche Beecham

            Don’t you need to shave your legs?

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            That was very original Blanche I applaud your ingenuity in racial slurs.

          • Blanche Beecham

            Racial? Huh – wha? Is leg shaving now a racial thing?

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            Not one sentence of the three that you there are a full sentence. It’s a good thing your inner beauty is radiating because your intelligence is not. Don’t be so blasé about your racist/elitist views Blanche.

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            oops skipped a word. *wrote*

          • sabrina p

            What a pathetic excuse of a woman, and butt ugly too!

          • Blanche Beecham

            Perceptions of beauty and human dignity are often maladjusted for the chronic masturbator.

          • Hock63

            Your stupidity is astounding. Blanche…first off; what poor, sorry excuse for a parent outside of a 1950’s domestic mother names their child Blanche. You really made my blood boil with you narrow minded views it hurts. To read how dumb you are.
            Rhode Island was founded on religious freedom you twit. If you were capable of reading a book you would know this. And we were the first to declare independence from Britain two months before the other colonies. Your welcome cunt.
            While the state has faced its fair share of corruption over the years so have every state. Give me yours and we can air out its dirty laundry too.
            And you want to stoop to superficial things such as looks do you? Well your wearing 1980’s glasses with a perm… Theres not enough alcohol in the world to make you attractive. Very sad indeedindeed, stay with the times. Just because your vagina is dried up don’t take it out on us.
            Finally no we are not stalking you, we just try to weed out stupidity where ever it is found. You have it in spades. Know when your beaten and when to stop. Hopefully you make peace with you lack of intelligence and stop with your rants.

            Sincerely,
            Everyone

          • Blanche Beecham

            Weed is the answer for everything with you people.

          • Heather

            I hope this is said in jest. How offensive otherwise.

          • Michelle Buchanan

            I think its really disrespectful of you to talk about a child like that considering the fact you are NO damn dime piece…I’ve lived in RI my whole life this state is my home an I’ll be goddamn if I let someone like you disrespect RI or the children that live here

          • Blanche Beecham

            Madam, It isn’t the children’s fault their RI parents are unattractive, breeders. The children always get caught in the cross-hairs of this kind of folly. Of course the smallest ones are cute, so are baby hyenas, but quickly turn sour.

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            Oh Kiddo, you don’t learn do you? No children, parents or people are ugly. It is only through their actions that a “person” not “people” become ugly. Stop talking you have only terrible things to impart on the world.

          • Robin WiIlliams

            You do realize that you need to find more legitimate claims, and work
            harder on your fake accounts if you’re going to be attempting to make
            people think that other people agree with your ideas, right? You have 4
            followers, and they’re all the same people, why do you have everyone
            following each other? If you’re going to make fake accounts and post
            with them on your own site, you should probably at least make them have
            different followers, or be private… or anything really. It’s funny
            how transparent you people really are. Good luck deceiving the the
            painfully dumb and already needy. You’re a blight on civilized human
            culture :D

          • ConcernedCitizen

            RI was one of the first places settled…crack a book so you don’t look so stupid when you open your mouth hole!

        • Nav Samej

          If things get really out of control, we can always kill them by overdosing them with quahogs….

          • Banana

            That would be wicked Awesome!!!

          • Blanche Beecham

            There are some good things about Rhode Island. The toothbrush was invented in Rhode Island.

            If it was invented anywhere else it would be called a “teethbrush.”

          • ConcernedCitizen

            That would imply that people here are backwoods types…funny since the vast majority of RI is city! Go back to your hole worm!

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            Well, the hair brush was patented by Hugh Rock in 1854 (not in RI) and oddly enough it wasn’t called the hairsbrush. Interesting, maybe, you should go to church and learn about the life of Christ?

          • Blanche Beecham

            Oh look, Yvonne made another comment to me – STALKER

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            Still no retort Blanche. Tsk tsk I am beginning to think that you have no original or intelligent thoughts of your own to share

          • rob

            I grew up in quonsett, and honestly the article was horrible but comical all the same, but feedback here has had me laughing my ass off. GO Yvonne. Granted RI is corrupt but that only because we let the government in. One trait that RI’s have that apparently no one else has is that we don’t take ourselves sooo seriously, we can laugh off anything. I don’t worry about others because you know ” I know a guy”.

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            Rob I have had more laughs reading and commenting on this in the past few days than I can remember having on the internet in awhile. A part of me feels bad that I am garnering such humour from this because I am beginning to believe there are some serious mental disabilities at work here. Nonetheless it has been fun trying to get some sort of rationale intelligence form this bat shit crazy thing.

          • Blanche Beecham

            Well, Yvonne, It should be clear to you that you will be digging that drama hole you want so badly BY YOURSELF! I will not respond to your silly taunts. It’s like you’re French or something irritable like that.

          • Yvonne LaBonte

            I am merely asking you to use fact and formulate and actual reason for your slanderous and hateful opinion. Which of course you cannot because, you are falsely calling things fact and spouting them off. You cannot actually hold an intelligent conversation because you run solely off of bigotry and hatred of something which you have no knowledge of. Also, you are clearly very young and immature. Good luck with the life you have in front of you, I do not envy the children that you will breed your ignorance into.

          • Michael Gingras

            What do the french have to do with this at all…… You ain’t smart is ya

        • Robin WiIlliams

          You do realize that you need to find more legitimate claims, and work
          harder on your fake accounts if you’re going to be attempting to make
          people think that other people agree with your ideas, right? You have 4
          followers, and they’re all the same people, why do you have everyone
          following each other? If you’re going to make fake accounts and post
          with them on your own site, you should probably at least make them have
          different followers, or be private… or anything really. It’s funny
          how transparent you people really are. Good luck deceiving the the
          painfully dumb and already needy. You’re a blight on civilized human
          culture :)

        • Alex

          Have you even been to Rhode Island? You people are absurd. Worry about life in your own state and leave us alone. This article is completely inaccurate and filled with opinions posed as facts. This is dangerous. Educate yourself instead of being some brainless follower of a raving lunatic on the internet.

        • Yvonne LaBonte

          You should ask your priest, maybe, he would agree. I don’t know if you have ever heard of Jesus Christ but I don’t believe he thought that separating people based upon looks or socio-economical status was what God wanted. I mean, clearly, you have no idea who the man is. Let me educate you, he was an incredibly kind and wise individual that envisioned a kinder world and a loving God. I mean you must not be a Christian, because, you behave like a Godless individual. I’m sorry that your faith has lapsed in this way. God Bless you.

          • Blanche Beecham

            More Stalking….

      • Robin WiIlliams

        You do realize that you need to find more legitimate claims, and work
        harder on your fake accounts if you’re going to be attempting to make
        people think that other people agree with your ideas, right? You have 4
        followers, and they’re all the same people, why do you have everyone
        following each other? If you’re going to make fake accounts and post
        with them on your own site, you should probably at least make them have
        different followers, or be private… or anything really. It’s funny
        how transparent you people really are. Good luck deceiving the the
        painfully dumb and already needy. You’re a blight on civilized human
        culture :))))

      • Amanda

        Good one! You’re so funny. Have you ever even been to Rhode Island? Didn’t think so. Stop commenting.

    • Robin WiIlliams

      You do realize that you need to find more legitimate claims, and work
      harder on your fake accounts if you’re going to be attempting to make
      people think that other people agree with your ideas, right? You have 4
      followers, and they’re all the same people, why do you have everyone
      following each other? If you’re going to make fake accounts and post
      with them on your own site, you should probably at least make them have
      different followers, or be private… or anything really. It’s funny
      how transparent you people really are. Good luck deceiving the the
      painfully dumb and already needy. You’re a blight on civilized human
      culture :)))

    • Miles Lockwood

      I do not really enjoy Rhode Island, but it just got a few extra points with its lack of Juggalos.

  • Kaylee-Aurora

    I read about Rhode Island when I was in school and it was really not much of anything. These people really dont be allowed to influence our government with there radical liberalism. Its just not the American way and its hurting future generations. I guess people should not be surprised when all those illegals want to run here from Mexico when they see the freebies Obama hands out in Rhode Island. These unions would fall apart if any FBI investigated the finances they are so corrupt. Its highway robbery for the real America and us real taxpayers.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Simply put, I doubt these sorts of people care about free enterprise and America’s sacred destiny. It’s all about the gov’t entitlements and the money.

      • Robin WiIlliams

        You do realize that you need to find more legitimate claims, and work
        harder on your fake accounts if you’re going to be attempting to make
        people think that other people agree with your ideas, right? You have 4
        followers, and they’re all the same people, why do you have everyone
        following each other? If you’re going to make fake accounts and post
        with them on your own site, you should probably at least make them have
        different followers, or be private… or anything really. It’s funny
        how transparent you people really are. Good luck deceiving the the
        painfully dumb and already needy. You’re a blight on civilized human
        culture :)))))

      • ConcernedCitizen

        Yes there are 0 business owners in RI…funny how the states with the highest number of people taking Obamas freebies are actually in southern red states…look it up genius. The data is there even for morons like yourself to find!

        • btyler

          0 business owners in Rhode Island? I beg to differ. I know of several, ODonnels builders is one of my friends through my husband. Another is Phil & Anns in charlestown also a friend of mine. You dont know a thing about Rhode Island.

          • ConcernedCitizen

            I was being sarcastic in reply to the comment above. Of course the state has business owners. I do happen to know about my state thanks

      • Anonymous

        What sacred destiny?! Religion should have nothing to do with how countries are run. Christianity is a plague that has been destroying our world for past 2000 years. People who believe in the bible have not been properly educated on the history of western society and learned how Christianity was INVENTED by human beings. People who still believe in the explanations thought up by people 2000 and more years ago to explain there world- even though we have learned as humans over the past 2000 years that there are other logical explanations for the world around us- are backwards and stuck in their ways. But have no right to impose their thoughts on those who have been educated enough to learn religion is just a made up explanation to explain the world around us.

    • Robin WiIlliams

      You do realize that you need to find more legitimate claims, and work
      harder on your fake accounts if you’re going to be attempting to make
      people think that other people agree with your ideas, right? You have 4
      followers, and they’re all the same people, why do you have everyone
      following each other? If you’re going to make fake accounts and post
      with them on your own site, you should probably at least make them have
      different followers, or be private… or anything really. It’s funny
      how transparent you people really are. Good luck deceiving the the
      painfully dumb and already needy. You’re a blight on civilized human
      culture :DDDD

    • ConcernedCitizen

      I live in RI and I can assure you it’s no haven for illegal immigrants haha What a daft statement! There are more illegal immigrants coming into Maine and from Somalia…a country riddled with extremist muslim terrorists and you somehow think little RI is gonna ruin the whole country hahaha

      • btyler

        Thank you for that comment. They none know Rhode Island because a majority of these posters don’t live there.

        • Jeff

          How about you learn grammar before you badmouth the states

    • Miles Lockwood

      I need to see your citizen papers Kaylee. You look like an illegal. Also are you from PA? You look like that kind of white trash.

  • Ras O.

    Rhode Island is the birthplace of true religious freedom and tolerance. It was a state long before most of the US states were a twinkle in their respective buyer’s eyes. It will stand strong as a state because it understands social justice and equality. Rhode Island understands better than anyone that the true importance of a democratic republic is to protect against the tyranny of the majority. If corruption is your gauge for revoking statehood, then revoke statehood from the south for its history of moral corruption against racial minorities. If population is the question, then Alaska, Wyoming, and Montana all have smaller populations than Rhode Island. Maybe they should be dumped, too? If you’re judging the worthiness of a state by its physical area, then you’re likely the type to drive a big truck to compensate for your own lack of ‘physical area.’

    Best,
    A loyal Rhode Islander

    • Sorry But Nope

      Considering Rhode Island’s fundamental role in creating and servicing the institution of slavery, I don’t think you people have a leg to stand on when accusing the south of “moral corruption against racial minorities.”

      • btyler

        I think your thinking of Connecticut which has a slave ship in the harbor at Mystic. You are not very educated.

      • ConcernedCitizen

        You’re correct…just down the road from my house is where they brought them in and sold them at auction. Bristol RI. It’s sad indeed that any state in the North had anything to do with it but what kills me most is that people are still going on about it instead of moving forward.

    • Michael1981

      Wow, you sure showed HIM! What a masterfully executed insult…penis jokes just NEVER get old! WHO IS YOUR YODA? WHERE CAN I LEARN TO BE SUCH A JEDI MASTER???

      • Stephenson_Billings

        I guess it shows the maturity level of your average Rhode Islander, Michael!

        • ConcernedCitizen

          I’ve been reading through this whole feed and here is the point I have to stop and say something! I am a RI transplant. Born in Maine, grew up in Hawaii and settled here in RI. Some of the best people I’ve met are here in RI. Here you are calling an average Rhode Islander out on their maturity level yet earlier in the post you were insulting the way we look? As if being from anywhere has anything to do with appearance! I’ve seen ugly people all over the world! The most ugly type of person is your type. The type that thinks his shit doesn’t stink!

          Yes RI has a problem with corruption…good eye! So doesn’t just about everywhere nowadays and in case you haven’t noticed there are places with worse numbers when it comes to sucking off the government teet!

          You sir are one of the most ignorant and uppity people I’ve come across in recent months! Congratulations! Nothing you say has any merit once you out yourself as a bigot and you’ve done just that! Tisk tisk!

  • Donny

    The unions destroyed Rhode Island about 4 decades ago and now everyone just expects a huge pension and disability checks even though the money simply isn’t there. No politician wants to admit this and lose vote, so they just borrow more and pass the bill to the next guy. The entire state needs a harsh wake up call. It will look like Detroit in a generation if we don’t wake up.

    • btyler

      Donny, go back to sleep. Your only spewing garbage. You must read all the rag news and believe it.

  • Jim Smith

    I’m not sure whether to be amused or saddened by people who don’t grasp the concept of parody.

    • Banana

      I agree, but some of these people commenting are truly ignorant

    • Michael Smtih

      Since this site nor its “journalist” consider this a parody site, you should be frightened…..

  • Heisenberg

    This is laughable. I actually thought you were joking at first, but my goodness you’re serious. Paranoid, judgmental and deluded, but serious. All I can say is thanks for at least putting a smile on my face. It’s so cute that this is what you think.

    • Educated Veteran

      This is why I served my country in war? This is why I cry everytime I hear the national anthem? Everyone is free to have their own opinion and I am the first to want to hear it, but mongering hate and stating misleading fact with out real evidence just makes you sound like an ass. How dare you call yourself a patriot. I am not going to deny the political curuption Rhode Island has, I am not going to deny the lack of pronunciation of the letter “R.” I myself have been to 38 different states and have formed my own opinion about all of them. There are corrupt politicians everywhere. Right now the govenor of Texas is currently under indictment. Lets not forget about all the rest who are in jail, recently released or even not indicted yet. Its real easy to condemn what you dont understand. In my holy bible it says to love thy neighbor. In my religion the only person who will judge me is god. In my country we defend all. You stated how RI is not even larger than a pig farm in Kentucky so they shouldnt have representatives in the senate or congress. An educated person would tell you this is not a patriotic comment at all because a patriot would be aware that those political positions and the amount if positions per state are based on population count not square miles of property. I fought for my country to preserve your right to talk trash about me and my family. The people of Rhode Island do have the same rights as you and your thoughtless ramble reminds us of the lack of intellectual citizens there are. God Bless America. GOD BLESS ALL OF AMERICA

      • Stephenson_Billings

        God bless you and thank you for your support, sir!

      • Robin WiIlliams

        You do realize that you need to find more legitimate claims, and work
        harder on your fake accounts if you’re going to be attempting to make
        people think that other people agree with your ideas, right? You have 4
        followers, and they’re all the same people, why do you have everyone
        following each other? If you’re going to make fake accounts and post
        with them on your own site, you should probably at least make them have
        different followers, or be private… or anything really. It’s funny
        how transparent you people really are. Good luck deceiving the the
        painfully dumb and already needy. You’re a blight on civilized human
        culture :)

      • btyler

        Thank you for your support. A Rhode Island resident and proud of my little state. Corruption is in every state and there was an article that listed the top ten most corrupt states and little Rhode island wasn’t one of them!

      • Yvonne LaBonte

        God Bless you and thank you for your service.

  • Lilrhody McDingletush

    The devil’s weed is already decriminalized in RI & is probably about to become fully legal. They also just made table games legal, so now casinos are going to be all over the place. It’s only a matter of time til they legalize all drugs & roaving bands of packed up liberal college students force the elderly out of their homes and make them to twerk in the streets all while stealing their free Obama care oxytocin. The place is going to turn into a mix of Amsterdam & las Vegas…aka Sodom & gemmorah! I’m SO GLAD I LIVE HERE!!!!!! Hahaha hahaha!!!!!! HAIL SATAN!!!!!! 666!!!!!! Blooblabadadoodah!!!!!! Slayer rules!!!!!! The ghost of anton lavey lives in my sock drawer! Baphomet be praised!

    • Educated Veteran

      Are you aware of how many states who have casinos ? How about how many states have legalized medical marijuana? 23 states or almost half of the US have medical marijuana legalized. 36 states have legal casinos. It does not appear that you have a valid educated response to this post. But good try on trying to make the perception of Rhode Islanders as non-religous atheists. Let me just as that the original post from the auther stated it was Irish drunks and Italians here. These singled out races are prodominately Catholic.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Are you being sarcastic with this comment?

  • Courtney

    Rife with inaccuracies and misconceptions. LIL’ RHODY FOREVA!

  • jay

    I read through half of this article and first thing that comes to mind is a big fuck you. You know nothing of the diversity, history and culture of our state. We were one of the first three states bitch! If you want to talk about corruption, Rhode Island isn’t the only state where that’s a thing last time I checked. Another thing are you on crack?! Who doesn’t love a claim cake? For God sakes it’s fried dough with bits of claim! Last time I checked if you hate anything fried you hate America… and I’m guessing that’s mostly the reason why you hate our state, we’ll that and our women who just happened to be turned off by a overweight fat bald guy who kinda looks a bit like santa. As for sights you clearly haven’t been to New Port, or Colt State Park (or any of the other parks that we have) or block island or providence on a weekend when the city is very much alive. I will be honest though I didn’t even need to read most of this article to bash you, if you don’t love Rhode Island you don’t love America and if you don’t love America well than your a natzie.

    • Derby Mack

      Maybe if you’d pull your head out of the past, you’d realize how grim the future is for Rhode Island.

      • Yvonne LaBonte

        It is grim but, not just for RI. It is grim for the entire US and the rest of the world. This is no longer the democracy our forefathers envisioned it is a corporatocracy. You sir are just following along and allowing yourself to be led into the greedy and corrupt downfall of a once great nation.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Not “New Port” but “Newport,” like the menthol cigarettes they sell loose in the ghetto.

  • Georgia-Pete

    Problem with the liberals is that they are always screwing with congress and the way the districts are created to give themselves a majority. Vote fraud and buying the poor vote with “bread and circuses” is just their way of doing business. That’s why I’m on board Derby Mack.

    Why not make all New England a single state and reduce their senators to 2 and reduce their reps. There’s absolutely no reason we should let such liberal recklessness go unchecked.

  • Dave

    I like to claim bullshit on this article, If you believe this, you are a single minded idiot who watches fox news and believes everything they say is truth

  • Rich Budz

    Haters gonna hate, means we’re doing SOMETHING right.

  • kevin

    this was one of the stupidest things I have ever read. is it a joke or no? get your facts right. and to say that it is nothing but rocky coast lines shows you know even less then that rabbish up there. “lil rhody” whoever the hell calls it that is a beautiful state that was just generalized in like probably 3 Rhode Islanders you know. people would kill to live in places of Rhode island, we have celebrities with houses in rhode island, (Taylor swift), and you should add that it is WAY more expensive to live here than the south. it’s true that ignorance is bliss, you didn’t do any real research.

    • RIwesterlyRI

      Uggghhhh.. Taylor Swift is something we’re bragging out now?

  • Maura

    Wow dude, you’re crazy. This article has reminded me to never read anything that you write, since it’s useless and a complete waste of time for utter lack of truth and credibility. Good luck being so disillusioned in the real world.

    • Maura

      Also, it’s a “clam” cake, not a “clammy” cake. Clammy is when you’re sick and your skin feels warm and moist. A clam is seafood. You know, like, from the ocean?

  • ConcernedCitizen

    It’s a Clam Cake and an Awful Awful is just a milkshake and can come in many colors…Way to go you’re dumb

  • btyler

    Did anyone see the list of the most corrupt states in the USA? Rhode Island wasn’t one of them. Rhode Island wasn’t in the top ten for corruption. So what does that say about the other states that are even more corrupt than Rhode Island. The author of this article must have some bad blood toward that tiny state and needs to see a doctor or something for his hate filled writing.

    • Derby Mack

      You really don’t get it, do you? You really think everything in Rhode Island is perfect? Do you have children? What sort of state do you think they’ll inherit?

      • Sheena Darcy

        Everything in ri is not perfect, but NOTHING in ri is the way you described it. If ri were even a fraction of as bad as you claim it is, you wouldn’t have needed to write this “article” “informing” people about its corruption. They would already know about it. I find it highly amusing that you felt the need to address everything from the way the women look, to the type of food we eat in order to make your “point” about how politically corrupt the state is. Educated people, armed with facts, don’t need to do that. Save that completely inaccurate drama for the middle school girls locker room, where it belongs. If there really is a heaven, and Jesus really is the son of god, he’s up there right now face palming over this pile of prejudice trash.

  • Alex

    This is the most rediculous piece of bullshit I have ever read. The Rhode Island you talk about existed about 30 years ago. You yourself say you had “the misfortune to visit” a long time ago. How do you know what it’s like here? For every negative example and Rhode Islander could give you 5 reasons why our state is important. Half of your negative reasonings are actually positive, you just twist the words to make them sound negative.

  • Annabella Grant

    Who the hell are you to judge a whole state? You’ve blatantly twisted words and other things to fit your shitty little article! Pink slime called an awful awful?! ITS A MILKSHAKE THAT COMES IN EVERY ICE CREAM FLAVOR. No significant land marks?!? What about the oldest continuously running pub in the United States?!? What about Brown University?!? What about the Newport Mansions?? India Point bridge? The house from the Conjuring?????
    Fuck you and the shitty website you write for.

    • Blanche Beecham

      “Hope” is a great motto. You know who else had that moto?
      OBAMA!

      • Stephenson_Billings

        Rim shot, Blanche Beecham!

  • YOUAREIDIOTS

    you people are fucking stupid. Have u heard of California and what a fucked state that is. wake up old idiot morons. you should be so lucky to be from Rhode Island and not whatever Midwestern shit hole you are all from.

  • A.

    You spent a summer in Rhode Island a long long time ago. I’m glad you’re so opinionated, you actually sound like a jackass spitting out facts you found on google. Anyone who graduated from college and knows a thing or two about writing could do that. Waste your life writing about something more meaningful. You’re stupid.

  • Banana

    This article is made by Religious Freak who just spewed crap on a page about a State he has no clue about. He is ignorant and insecure of sexuality as most Old decrepit religious men are. Most of his facts are incorrect. If you really want to know the truth about Rhode Island, Come and visit or pick up a real book about Rhode Island History. Don’t get info from crazy psychopaths like this guy, it only makes you ignorant! Plus I Know this guy, he’s wicked awesome, and he can get you a good deal on a cah! Just head to the Hill, grab a Shanty and go F’ Yourselves!!! LOL

    • Derby Mack

      Hello Banana, the problems of Rhode Island are clearly far over your head. Do you truly believe that there is no financial crisis looming? Or that cronyism has NOT undermined the state’s attractiveness to new business? The fact that Buddy Cianci is even considered a candidate for mayor makes the entire state laughable. Your people will never take corruption seriously. That is a sad fact.

      • Mac

        The fact that Buddy Cianci is a candidate for Mayor is actually what makes it great. You see, before Buddy in the early 90s, downtown Providence was a scumhole that no one in their right mind would walk around. In one decade, they put in a convention center, subsidized housing for the Rhode Island School of Design, commissioned works of art, a mall, restored Kennedy Plaza, brought in new SMALL business opportunities in restaurants, nightlife, and shopping, commissioned “Waterfire” which you’ve never experienced anything like, and turned it into a Renaissance city. If you walk around downtown Providence now, it’s a different world. He brought in TONS os business and revitalized a city that might have ended up like Bridgeport, CT. Yes, he certainly was corrupt…but everyone knew it, and no one cared, because of the transformation of the city. If you think Rhode Island is corrupt and should be dismantled as a state for corruption, then we should dismantle the United States of America and give the part above the Mason Dixon line to Canada and the rest to Mexico, because these assholes in Congress are the real problem on both sides of the aisle. You want to talk about corruption? They take millions from lobbyists and slant all the laws to be in favor of corporations and not its own citizens. Our federal government has singlehandedly ruined this country. They all suck. RI is the least of their worries. How in the hell can you point to that state as the worst example of cronyism when congressmen retire to become lobbyists, when appointed regulars are former CEO’s from companies within their industry, and when campaign finance allows politicians to take millions from corporate donors? Our own Supreme Court sold out the people and gave corporations the same rights as people. In fact, I would go so far as to say they could all learn a valuable lesson from RI. At least Cianci never sold out the people. So he beat a guy for banging his wife…nothing any normal dude wouldn’t do. Yes he took a little something on the side. But he never sold out the people, and he gave them something for their money…a new and revitalized city. I’d vote for him again in a heartbeat.

      • Banana

        First I never said that there was no corruption in the Ocean State. But you claim we all live off the government and their money which is bs, you talk about criminals taking refuge here, which was How many years ago? You talk about our dialect, please tell me where your from so I can tell you how you speak slow and like a mouth full of balls, i mean marbles. I also never said there were no financial troubles here, but guess what, That is every friggen state! Oh you spend a summer here when you were what 10 back in the year 1805, yep I am calling you old! I lived here my entire 36 years, this state isn’t perfect and we might no everybody in this state, but we have big hearts, lots of soul and obviously less judgmental then you..

  • Jason E. Walker

    Roger Williams did *not* “turn away from Christianity”; his original teachings founded the Baptist Church, a Christian organization. He did *not* “abscond” to south of Boston; he dared to teach that people should be allowed to find their own paths to God & that the Church & State should be separate entities. The Puritan Pilgrims didn’t leave England to escape religious persecution but to be allowed to carry it out themselves; they outlawed Williams’s teachings & told him to either settle his rogue colony with his followers or be put to death. It is Williams’s teachings, combined with pirate sensibilities, that gave us the basis for our nation’s Constitution & Bill of Rights. RI was 1st to secede from England but last to ratify the Constitution, because the Bill of Rights wasn’t in the 1st draft; that’s why it’s called the 1st *Amendment*! In other words, without this state’s founding & principles, you might not have even been allowed to write this erroneous article; if your Christianity is anything other than Puritanism, you wouldn’t be allowed that, either. Yes, this state definitely has its problems, but you take your argument too far & twist/make up facts to try supporting it. It’s people like you who make others doubt & mistrust the media. Get a job at Fox News already.

    • RI Native

      Jason,

      Thanks for clearing up that portion of this delusional’s diatribe. You are correct….Roger Williams, founding father of religious freedom! I live in RI, and I know it has issues…big issues. I also travel quite extensively throughout the US and see the same types of issues all over. Unfortunately, this is the nation that we ALL have created…now we have to fix it. This miserable outlook of our state, given by this idiot, does nothing. It is absurdity at its finest. I do find it quite offensive to call out the children and insult them…then again, without spewing absurdities, this guy would have nothing to write about. Pick on the little guy….typical MO of one who was bullied. Be the bully, hiding behind your keyboard.

      I honestly feel awkwardly sorry for this jerk. Yeah, we ain’t perfect…but neither is he!

      Long live the Quohaug!

  • RIer

    You’re a dick, sir.

    -Proud Rhode Island Resident

  • Miles Lockwood

    Still a more valuable than Texas. They at least have real colleges and universities instead of glorified minor leagues for pro sports teams.

    • Yvonne LaBonte

      Brown University is Ivy league and should you become ill you will want a doctor that was trained at Brown. Rhode Island college had such an innovative teaching school that the graduates are regularly recruited by the southern states which are trying to catch their children up to the East Coast standards. The University of Rhode Island is developing renewable energy sources that will one day move our great nation into a healthier and sustainable way of living for everyones children, not just our own. So, you are welcome.

  • Miles Lockwood

    Though on a side note, I swear to god that someone in city and state planning intentionally made every highway in RI more curvy with more unneeded turns just to make it feel bigger than it is.

  • Damien Girard

    That is one of the most elaborate troll attempts I’ve have ever seen.

  • Jeff

    Hey Mr. “American Patriot” RI played a big part in America becoming a country. So how about you stop complaining about this country you live in and leave if you have a problem

  • Ray

    Now who’s the idiot who wrote this? I live in rhode island. Does that mean I eat the shit known as clam cakes? No, how dare you insult me by saying I do!

  • Belle

    About half of these allegations are false, leave it up to someone who hasnt stepped foot into rhode island to write an article shaming our state. It’s honestly the most putrid peice of crap i have ever read. How about get your facts straight before writing another piece of trash

  • y’all-be-morons

    All this from a person that believes in chem trails. laughable.

  • datdude

    Still happy I don’t I live in the south. :)

  • Adam

    Fuck you, you’re raunchy you don’t know shit about Rhode Island. You can fuck off now.

  • Islandah

    I can’t decide if I want to laugh or cry at the pure idiocy that is this article and it’s followers. If Rhode Island is such a shit hole, why is Newport such a vacation spot?
    I’ll be the first to say we’re corrupted. It’s true. But so is every other state; it’s fucking America and corruption seems to be the new American Way.
    You can’t even mention that the “pink drink” is a strawberry milkshake from a local creamery (also located in MA)!

  • George A.

    I’ve been living in Rhode Island for almost all of my 24 years, and can say the only thing you’re even close on is government corruption (which you’ve blown far out of proportion).

    The rest of this article is really nothing but ill-informed and over-inflated opinions. You make outrageous claims about the literacy rate of our residents, the quality of our universities and their alumni and obviously you know nothing about Water Fire, which is a huge fundraising event for our capitol city that attracts tourists from all over New England.

    Your claims on what are apparently the only two food choices for the people of Rhode Island are a little off as well. While there are plenty of more important things, food seems important to you, so I’d like to remind you of the huge list of independently owned quality restaurants in the state. Providence has actually been highly in the past few years for these restaurants, powered by hard working and talented Rhode Islanders.

    Your generalizations make you sound like an idiot, and are very frustrating and offensive to Rhode Islanders, solely because of all the other idiots here who are reading your garbage and taking it in as factual. As a “patriot”, you should respect Rhode Island residents as fellow Americans, but evidently your world view is too small for that.

    You hate on Rhode Island for our political standpoint, and make up a bunch of garbage to throw into the mix. Don’t call yourself a writer, please don’t call your uninformed opinion “wisdom” and don’t come back to Rhode Island.

  • Nick b

    Let me first start off with how dumb your name is, Derby Mack,wow your parents were probably just as bright as you are. Now to continue, you seem to be the most arrogant person ever to be saying such things about Rhode Island , as I can tell you must not live around the area. Rhode Island is nowhere close to the amount of negative things you have to say. Beaches are great , other then Scarborough , but who cares we have like 5 more. How about dels , coffe milk? Oh wait I forgot you don’t live here so you probably don’t even know what those things are. Rhode Island may be small but we sure have a lot of positive things about us. You talk about corrupt? Look at the federal government as a whole, that’s as corrupt as you can get. Complaining about our pot smoking ? Or jealous cause i can toke up a joint for a migraine and you gotta pop some temporary pills to “help” the pain followed with thousands of side effects. Before you try bashing a state, do your research first.

  • Mark Dasilva

    Some seriously valid points combined with some absolutely ridiculous statements. We DO have some glaring issues that WILL be fixed, we aren’t going anywhere and we will climb back from this. I say this with all my heart, fuck you Mack! “Quick jottings of a casual observer” You’re full of shit I can smell your stink from here…This state is beautiful and if you fail to see it an it’s potential you might want to get your eyes checked by one of our ‘crony socialist’. And you go on further to insult our collective intelligence, calling us illiterate an unintelligible. I have a feeling your entire “career” is nothing more than you not so eloquently bringing peopleand communities down.

  • Savon Banuchi

    This is bull. Sure Rhode Island has it’s share of assholes, snakes and crazies, but so does every other stand/land on this entire planet. You know a little about the state, but apparently you don’t know shit when it’ comes to the people. Sure when it comes to the government things are gonna suck. The government sucks period. But writing a slanderous article on a state you seem to know nothing about makes you just as bad as them. You’re basing your information on a twisted political skeleton and nothing else. You’ve no experience in this place. You have no idea what it’s like here. generalizing the statement to say that all of rhode island is a dump just further proves that you are ignorant and pompous, nothing more. Did you know Rhode Island was the first state to officially declare independance? Did you know that Rhode Island was the first state to fight back against the British by sinking the Gaspee? Or how about the fact that the industrial revolution of the US literally started in Rhode Island? Did you know that the First amendment was actually based off of the thought’s of Roger Williams, the founder of Rhode Island? We were the only state that ever had an actual democracy because of Mr. William’s too. How about Nathaniel Greene…ever heard of him? George Washington’s second in command whom everyone feared, was also from Rhode Island. Also the first African American military regiment fought here in the “Battle of Rhode Island” during the revolutionary war. and one last thing, this state had ROYALY RECOGNISED independence before any other states. Thomas Bicknell even regarded the Royal Charter of Rhode Island to be “the grandest instrument of human liberty ever constructed”. So I don’t want to hear all this crap talking about Rhode Island as a state. What’s corrupt is the government. What’s corrupt are people, but I for one look at your ignorance and continue to stand proud of where I am. rhode Island is one hell of a state with one hell of a history. Idiots like you shouldn’t even be permitted to write such articles.

  • M

    This is just silly. You’re totally welcome to your own opinions, but mone have to disagree. I won’t comment on the politics stuff cause I don’t understand any of it. It’s just way too over my head. But! “Clammy cakes” are CLAM cakes and awful awfuls are not just “pink drinks.” They come in tons of flavors and are basically milkshakes, I dunno what could be possibly wrong with that. Any state you go, there’s gonna be a well known food or restaurant type and RI is no different! We have iggy’s, dell’s, newport creamery and others besides! We also have landmarks such as the big blue bug, roger williams park/zoo, countless beaches and historical sites, Thayer street, etc.(RIP the seabee and potatohead statues.) A super great aspect of RI is our fishing community. I find that it is pretty big and awesome. My parents have taken my brother’s and I fishing at different lakes since I was a baby. We have also always gone quahogging, which in my opinion is an experience all in its own – you get to gather your own food, in a kinda neat way, while spending the day in the ocean! We’re the ocean state, of course we’re going to have a lot of [fried] seafood stuff. Our beaches may not be perfect, but we aren’t exactly in the tropics so… and finally, my favorite part of RI is the mills. Huge beautiful buildings with tons of history. I wanted to live in one ever since I was a little kid (which is now a thing because they’re being converted to condos!)

    TLDR; RI has its problems but so doesn’t everyone. To suggest it lose its status because you had an unpleasant time here -once- is just silly.

    • mm Portuguese food

      Fairs are nice here. Love the water fires and air shows we have!! Like others have pointed out we have an ivy league school among other good ones. He’s right about one thing though, we have a lot of Portuguese! MMMM ALL THE FOOD AT ST. MARY’S AND THE LALA!!!

  • EP

    The ethnic slurs are killing me in this piece of typed trash: “hordes of boozy Irish and Italians.” I’m wondering – was it literally, “hordes”? That must have been ALL of the Irish and Italians that immigrated into the U.S. You, sir, are a bigot and an imbecile.

    • EP

      ALSO! “A river so polluted that officials regularly light it on fire to burn off the trash.” It’s a FREE public art exhibition that attracts thousands of visitors annually, generating uncommon foot traffic and income for the arts programs and local vendors who line the closed-off streets of the downtown river way. Check your facts before writing an article that’s run off from online trivia and Buzzfeed polls. Thanks anyway – play again.

  • Arbitraryjoel

    Rhode Island may have it’s issues and faults we’re not perfect here, neither is any other state. It’s a historic piece of the United States and the New England region. The state of Rhode Island serves as a wonderful safe haven for members of the LGBTQ community and is also home to some of the top Learning institutes in the world such as RISD, Brown, Johnston & Wales,etc. It’s also one of the most artistically diverse areas in the world where numerous artists from all over the globe can come together to illustrate the essence of life and the world around us as we may or may not perceive. One last “pro” I’d like to add to my wonderfully imperfect state is that it is one of the top culturally diverse areas in the New England region, I have never have to deal with discrimination on a daily basis due to my ethnicity (Black). Ohh and to everyone who has NEVER been to Rhode Island and are basing their opinions and comments on the state just from reading this article STOP; your argument is highly invalid and you should worry about your own state/ country and its’ various problems. Put all your energy from trash talking the state of Rhode Island into helping to better your own community. We know we’re NOT perfect here, this isn’t the 1st nor only state to experience crime and corruption. Crime and corruption exists in all 4 hemispheres of the world. So in conclusion if you really despise RI that much stay out of the state. You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to.

  • ConcernedCitizen

    http://www.movoto.com/ri/rhode-island-facts/

    For anyone that thinks bad about the state of RI even though most of you have not once been here!

  • http://www.shuttercal.com/calendar/DefaultArtist/ Scott Harris

    Everyone knows Rhode Island’s State drinks are coffee milk and Narragansett, and the state foods are lobster rolls and quahogs.

  • Jesse

    Fuck all of you and especially whatever douche bag wrote this article. Completely unnecessary you assholes. Rhode Island is a beautiful place where I happened to be born along with MANY other people who are attatched to living in our beautiful little state away from the rest of the corrupt world. Let’s face it the whole fucking country is corrupt and has been for a while, not just Rhode Island you piece of shit hating motherfuckers. Go back to working from home and driving your Lexus to the dry cleaners every Tuesday night.

  • Luke

    At least it’s not Nebraska, or Kansas, or (shudder) Michigan!

  • ryan

    Are you people insane? You’re going to let one man’s irrational article about Rhode Island generate your own opinions?

  • RIknowaguy

    Really? It will only cost me $50 to lower my property taxes? Can you pm me the name of the guy you know who does that? That seems like a really good investment.

  • Yvonne LaBonte

    Well, I have figured this out now. If you read through the comments and followers of this (also, the author) if you ask anyone defending this or any opinion they automatically insult you. The interesting thing about this is that “Herby Mack” will never insult and barely retort. He will not absolutely not under certain criteria 1. race 2. veteran of the armed services 3. intelligence. This is because it is all things that “he” can’t ague with as a “patriot” and a “blackman”. However, there are two-three other followers that have stock 1950’s photos who will get down and dirty. Well, they mostly get down because they have no way to argue argue and will still side step anyone that will ask them to be consistent. To this I tell you they are probably teenagers in the deep south with a fundamental resentment of things they do not know. They are afraid of a changing world and the hope of a better life and so in the face of change they hope for annihilation. God Speed Rhode Island and all of America.

  • Georgia Randy

    I cant believe a place so small has as many senators in our national congress as say Texas or California. It is a disgusting helhole of a state basically comprised of one filthy mid sized city and some boston bedroom communities. It has about half as many people as most nfl home cities do and the corruption is so thick that it pollutes our senate floor just to seat these gangsters. Time for one newengland state and to get these libtards in check!

    • Yvonne LaBonte

      Yes because Texas and their pristine government should have more. I mean it’s a larger place and it’s not like the Governor is being indicted on charges that could place him in prison for 109 years. Also, there is no actual city (large or small) the size of Rhode Island. Georgia Randy, honestly, please next time pick an alias that doesn’t sound like a southern porn star. It is really not helping your lack of knowledge. However, I do understand your knowledge of Boston bedroom communities now. Maybe you should move to Russia if you are so opposed to Liberty?

      • Georgia Randy

        The San Jose-San Francisco-Oakland, CA Combined Statistical Area ranks as the fifth most populous metropolitan area of the United States. Demographics[edit] According to the 2010 United States Census, the population was 7.15 million in the nine counties bordering the San Francisco Bay, with 49.6% male and 50.4% female. Atlanta metro 5.4 million. these are just a couple examples.. Facts much libby?

        • Yvonne LaBonte

          It’s not about populous, or, you should have said as “populated” as a filthy mid sized city. Also, honestly just because you don’t enjoy the views of a collective does not mean that they are invaluable. Unless you are not a patriot and believe in a dictatorship. Also, Wikipedia is not a notable source of valuable information. Seriously, it’s written by people and therefore subject to the ignorance in humanity much like this opinion piece.

          • Georgia Randy

            Hmm my post states that This sham of a state has about half as many people as most NFL home cities.It never references the physical size of the state.. The population figures I offered to support my original post which you disputed in your personal attack laced rebuttal above are from Wikipedia and the U.S. census bureau. I find no need to throw personal insults mam the facts seem to be enough and they are definitely with me on this issue. The fact that Rhode Island Is mostly the mid sized city of providence and some communities that have a large population of commuters who work in the Boston area is a statement defining the sum total make up of this faux state. A illustration of its incredible lack of diversity and resources in comparison to other states. Not its size either in geographical context or as a population metric.

          • Georgia Randy

            I see that your issue with my original post may be one of a simple word usage/ misunderstanding. at least in part. com·prise
            kəmˈprīz/
            verb
            past tense: comprised; past participle: comprised
            consist of; be made up of.
            “the country comprises twenty states”
            synonyms:consist of, be made up of, be composed of, contain,encompass, incorporate; More

            make up; constitute.
            “this single breed comprises 50 percent of the Swiss cattle population”
            synonyms:make up, constitute, form, compose;
            account for
            “this breed comprises half the herd”

        • Yvonne LaBonte

          I do enjoy that you pat yourself on the back by upvoting yourself on everything. Hey, at least someone is interested in your propaganda.

      • Georgia Randy

        The United States Census’s formal name for the area is the Cincinnati-Middletown Metropolitan Statistical Area. As of the 2010 U.S. Census, this MSA had a population of 2,130,151, the largest metropolitan area involving Ohio and 27th largest in the United States.
        Cincinnati metropolitan area – Wikipedia,

      • Georgia Randy

        The Providence metropolitan area is a region extending into eight counties in two states, and is the 37th largest metropolitan area in the United States.[1][2] Anchored by the city of Providence, Rhode Island, it has an estimated population of 1,622,520, exceeding that of Rhode Island by slightly over 60%. The area covers almost all ofRhode Island. 38 of the 39 municipalities in the state are included. Only Westerly is not. The Providence Metropolitan Statistical Area also extends into southern Massachusetts

  • Neal

    “Its beaches are rocky and cold; its women no different.”–Should have known that all this resentment stems from the fact that you just couldn’t get laid.

  • Maria-Grace Torti

    I AM a Rhode Islander and I usually use my words and logic to debate people, but I am so offended that I have to start by saying FUCK YOU DERBY MACK. Your “information” and “facts” and out right wrong. How has it been since you have been to Rhode Island? A summer, a life time ago doesn’t make you assurances relevant. There is some corruption in Rhode Island, but that is true of ANY state. All of the issues you have with the state, are vague and happen in very state. Every state has methadone clinics, strip clubs, drugs, and prostitution.What state doesn’t have a pension program for state workers. Are there abuses? Yes, but what state does not have abuses.

    For the record, the people of Rhode Island LOVE Buddy Cianci. He completely revitalized the city of Providence, bringing venue and tourism back to the city. Providence is amazing and fun offering attractions such as Water Fire, a mall, a convention center (bringing in all sorts of events), an event center for sports and shows, multiple performing arts centers, and state of the art hospitals. The only crime he was ever convicted of is conspiracy, which is the most vague “crime” on the books. You can convict a cat of conspiracy. The people of Providence love him so much, that he is running for mayor again, even at his advanced age. Let me tell you, he has a good chance.
    Rhode Island is small, but very diverse. It has beautiful beaches, wonderful institutions of high learning, amazing historical land marks, and some of the most interesting and fun attractions you would ever see. Rhode Island, especially in the summer, draws tourists from all over the country and even around the world.
    The way you speak about Italians and women is disgusting. I am both Italian and a women. I work incredibly hard and don’t take a thing from the government. You are a racist, sexist person. I am a proud Rhode Islander. We have a constitutional right to be a state. We have 2 Representatives in Congress, which corresponds with our size and the laws of the Constitution. We have 2 senators because according to the Constitution that is what we have the right to have. Leave us alone and stay the hell out of our state. We don’t want close minded bullies in our state.

  • Rhode Island is the best

    It’s sad that a right wing, ignorant asshole who thinks Texas is somehow even remotely better than Rhode Island loses all credibility and respect when he releases the fact that his entire hatred for a state is based on the fact he couldn’t get laid here. “…are rocky and cold; it’s women no different.” Proves that you had no luck finding lady fun here in my glorious state and the fact that you admit it, clarifies the rest of your hate for this state. You’re a racist, sexist, anti-gay asshole who has no right to speak about Rhode Island, let alone down talk it. Spend your time discussing things more relevant to your kind, slave owning, guns, and disrespecting women you piece of shit. Yes Rhode Island has had it’s fair share of troubles, but so has the rest of this country. It is on it’s way back, and it’ll be great again. So check back in and then talk.

  • Steve Jobe

    Please go away. Speaking as someone who has lived, happily, in RI and its Providence plantations since the 70s, I’m here to say it’s a place that’s, well, like any other: positives and negatives. Whatever. One could write the same kind of polemic about any place. (Don’t get me started about Massachusetts.). Meanwhile, I love Buddy Cianci and intend to vote for him again. Why? Because he is who he is and doesn’t pretend to be an altruistic crusader while secretly being a jerkwad. He wears his jerkwad-ness on his sleeve (wait, is there a better way to say that?…) and he knows what he’s doing. Providence is the Renaissance City because of him. And you know what they say about the weather here?… If you don’t like it, get the f**k out!! And anyone who would list RR as an idol deserves to be called out.

  • Jonathan Flynn

    While occasionally amusing, this rant is so full of anti-facts- statements so untrue that they call into question everything presented- as to make it only a failed attempt at comedy. This is not history, this is a personal vendetta from a cranky, old fool.

  • brett89

    Fuck this dumbass. Fucking hoser.

  • Michael Gingras

    This may be the most misinformed article I have ever read… To a point one might even assume it’s entirely satirical.

  • JugglingChainsaws

    You people are insane. You seem to think RI is the only place corruption exists. The “I know a guy” mentality comes from the fact that we live in such a small state, and not networking isn’t an option.

    As for the dried up cunt who said RI has the least amount of Juggalos because it’s illegal to bite off someones appendage…you should give suicide a try. You’re simple minded, and paranoid. You probably wrote your local paper about the dangers of Flappers in the 1920’s. Eat a dick and die.

    Derby, you are the biggest scumbag that I’ve come accross in a about a month, congragulations. I hope someone digs up your corpse and eats you, so you’ll finally take on your true form, a big lumpy log of shit. I find it hard to believe you actually exist somewhere in this beautiful country. You’re an old, bitter, lonely, microwave dinner eating, curmudgeon that only gets thought of by your family when they fantasize about the day you no longer exist.

    And what’s with the homo-erotic site banner? A sweaty half naked guy with a rifle penis? I think Derby Sack must have created that one. The “Hard Dawn” name made a lot more sense after I saw that, you creep.

    Kaylee Aurora, check your genealogy, I suspect heavy inbreeding was in your past. You’re the ugliest looking guy I’ve ever seen. And cats immune to chem trails? Where do you come up with this garbage?? Lol

    All of your hate filled conspiracy theory driven psychosis only serves as entertainment to us. Thank you for giving me something to laugh about, although I would laugh a lot harder reading about how all of you were raped to death by gorillas.

    Have a shitty day, I’m sure you were before you even read this.