Incoming CIA chief Mike Pompeo stunned Rush Limbaugh’s listeners this afternoon with a revelation on Russian hacking that finally puts this dangerous scandal to rest.
In a short interview conducted on the wildly popular radio program, Trump’s pick to head America’s intelligence agency announced that Vladimir Putin was merely acting on orders of the new president and that the Russians didn’t hack the election at all.
“Putin has been Trump’s puppet this entire time,” Pompeo stated, “I know that’s going to blow liberals’ minds, but Mr. Trump knew he had to take drastic measures to save American democracy from Hillary and her globalist elites who hate our freedom.”
Several intelligence experts joining the administration have independently verified that Putin didn’t hack the election at all, and didn’t manipulate the electorate with fake news and slanted leaks, further supporting Pompeo’s claims.
According to sources in the Kremlin, Putin personally owes Trump “billions and billions in real estate deals, oil contracts and casino losses.” The Russian Prime Minister has long sought to be part of President Trump’s inner circle of business leaders and A-list stars. But Trump, ever the brilliant strategist, long ago outwitted his Russian underling.
Putin, for his part, has secretly sworn absolute loyalty to the Trump agenda. Experts believe that we will see this come to fruition in the coming months as the Russians support American efforts to isolate China, destabilize NATO and hand over Eastern Europe to Moscow’s control.