House of Hypocrisy: AOC Splurges on Aspirin, Kleenex While Corporate Tax Relief Stalls in Congress

Posted on by Stephenson Billings
Ocasio-Cortez is facing harsh criticism after it was revealed she purchased high-end Aloe vera-infused Kleenex tissues using taxpayer funds.
© Wikimedia Commons User:
nrkbeta / CC-BY-SA-3.0

The halls of Congress were engulfed in yet another scandal this week when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s spending habits were revealed by an anonymous Twitter account. The widely-shared series of Tweets showed that the leftist Representative of working-class New York has spent hundreds of dollars in the first few months of 2020 on supplies for her office, including aspirin, staples and even Kleenex brand tissues with Aloe vera.

The Twitter posts were quickly deleted but by then, the damage was done.

In the aftermath, JoeBob “Boots & Saddles” McCoy, a Republican member of the House Ethics Committee from Texas, opened an inquiry, while Senator DuPont Buckmeister demanded the junior Rep’s resignation in a Facebook post cosponsored by Goldman Sachs.

“By my office’s calculations, her spending could be in the thousands of dollars,” Senator Buckmeister announced, “and the RNC is officially projecting that to reach the tens of thousands by the end of the year, which, if you sourced those items from our patriotic defense contractors, would in the hundreds of thousands, which means the honorable Representative ‘Occupational-Communism’ is essentially wasting somewhere in the vicinity of five to ten million when you factor in inflation and interest on government borrowing and the additional Washington accounting shenanigans.”

The multi-million-dollar drama comes at an unfortunate time for Ocasio-Cortez as many corporate tax cut initiatives have stalled in the House. Some pieces of legislation were even written by corporate citizens from her home city of New York who are seeking to eliminate union protections and banking oversight. Other vital issues before Congress include the suspension of the estate tax and federal subsidies for CEO private jet travel. 

Controversial Kleenex: The name brand tissues in question contain not just exotic Aloes, but vitamin E, which has scandalized many voters in the evangelical community.

As news of the scandal spread, the public was predictably outraged. Tucker Carlson moderated a special Fox News Town Hall on the crisis named #AloeVeraGate. So many voters expressed their outrage at AOC’s hundred-million-dollar boondoggle in the Breitbart comment section that the site’s servers had to briefly shut down, which many took as confirmation of the Deep State’s censorship of the internet and Ocasio-Cortez’s status in the Illuminati.

ConfedaratePatriot88 on Voat echoed the sentiments of many on social media when he stated, “THIS IS THE MOST UNAMERECAN THING I EVER SEEN!!!!” Another user noted, “THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN THE COLLEGE DANCING VIDEO. TOTAL CAREER ENDERER!!!”

Robert Mercer’s Make America Number 1 Super PAC has already released a working paper showing that 98% of the Tweets discussing #AloeVeraGate have been written in all caps, which meets the Constitutional threshold for immediate expulsion from the House of Representatives, according to the first eight guests on last night’s Hannity!

So Far, Representative Ocasio-Cortez has made no comment on the billion-dollar corruption scheme, refusing to respond to the fourteen DMs this reporter sent her last night at 2am, even though many included photos of a personal nature that I only share with the most select females.