HardDawn.com

Because Morning in America Wont Be Easy

Aging Liberal Jon Stewart Struggles to Stay Relevant

Tue, Aug 24, 2010 | By Stephenson Billings

“I coulda been a contender!” That was the famous cry of Marlon Brando in the 1954 film classic, On The Waterfront. Those words have a bitter poignancy today for the career of Jon Stewart, host of The Daily Show, as he fights to maintain a respectable place in the ratings despite a dramatic slip into the dustbin of cultural irrelevancy. It’s almost hard to believe that...

Why Do Rabbits Rape Cats?

Thu, Aug 12, 2010 | By Stephenson Billings

Something disturbing is happening all across America: children are witnessing the raw sexual conquest of one beast by another in the privacy of their own homes. No, we should not be surprised. Families have been turning their dwelling spaces into veritable Noah’s Arcs for some time now, blind to the larger moral risks of mixing species never meant to cohabitate. Two such...

The Fag Hag: How a Girl’s Misguided Friendship Choices Can Lead to a Lifetime of Loneliness

Tue, Jul 27, 2010 | By Stephenson Billings

I received an impassioned letter the other day that I’d like to share with you. It reads, in part: My daughter surprised me by moving into an apartment in the city this summer with 3 gay men. I certainly don’t hate homosexuals but when I paid a visit we spent the entire weekend with these people. We went to a restaurant where the boys were very catty and drunk. Then I...

With Unemployment Benefits Extended, Rates of Domestic Masturbation And Sodomy Are Poised to Skyrocket

Thu, Jul 22, 2010 | By Stephenson Billings

The Federal Government offered relief to millions of Americans this week with the passage of the Unemployment Benefits Bill. It was a victory for President Obama and Democratic members of Congress who, with the Gulf Oil spill and the bleak economy, are in desperate need for positive messages to bring back to their home electorates in preparation for the upcoming midterm elections....

How Much Should I Tip? How About Nothing At All

Fri, Jul 16, 2010 | By Derby Mack

Somewhere between my first glass of ice water and a scribbled check that I could barely read, something went terribly wrong. Maybe it was the lemon slice I asked for. Maybe it was that she argued with me about french fries being a customary side with a cheeseburger. Whatever it was, she had turned on me. From my years working in the service industry and patronizing restaurants,...

Anal Bleaching, For the Sodomite Who Wants to Look His Best

Tue, Jul 13, 2010 | By Stephenson Billings

Academic and corporate scientists are always looking for that magic fountain of youth to whiten our teeth, reduce fine lines and even make experienced women into veritable virgins again through an obscene procedure called “Labioplasty.” Now, homosexuals and pornography stars have found a new body part to improve: the anus. In something that truly pushes the limits...

Why Isn’t Barack Obama Protecting White People From Racism & Hate?

Tue, May 4, 2010 | By Stephenson Billings

Racism. It’s a dangerous word with dangerous implications. Ever since our early flirtations with slavery, America has been under the microscope when it comes to racial relations. The truth behind our ethnic problem is not easy, nor is our solution clear yet our young black president, Barack Obama, has jumped headfirst into this difficult issue nonetheless. The frightening...

Do Gay Pets Go to Heaven?

Thu, Apr 15, 2010 | By Stephenson Billings

“What happens to Rover when he dies, Mommy? Will he go to heaven?” This is a question many a parent has heard from a weeping child. It’s heart wrenching but symbolic of the great affection little ones have for their pets. It also belies an early interest in the nature of Christian faith and many will agree it’s a wonderful thing to have your very own youngsters thinking...

RIP The United States Military, 1776-2010

Sat, Jan 30, 2010 | By Stephenson Billings

The United States Military, a former ragtag revolutionary group that grew up to become the greatest fighting force in human history, the most high-tech and sophisticated state organization on the planet but still imbued with a youthful optimism rooted in the traditional virtues of a bygone era, died on the floor of Congress on Wednesday, January 27, 2010. It was 234 years...