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Because Morning in America Wont Be Easy

Trump to Sue Alec Baldwin for Copyright Infringement

Mon, Jan 23, 2017 | By Stephenson Billings

Citing grievous harm to his personal, multibillion-dollar brand, Donald Trump is taking Alec Baldwin to court. At issue is Baldwin’s “deliberately crude and bombastic” depiction of the president on Saturday Night Live, a late-night comedy program popular with coastal elites. The regular skits have won accolades from the Hollywood set, but have caused endless consternation...

Should Trump’s FEMA Camps Offer Basic Services Like Racially Segregated Bathrooms?

Mon, Jan 23, 2017 | By Derby Mack

Grappling with the painful legacy of Barack Hussein Obama is going to be a challenge for the Trump administration. From bloated government agencies to illegal foreign trade deals, our new leader has much to address. One of the most vexing questions is what to do with all those FEMA camps. As many now know, Obama built an extensive network of detainee centers to house conservative...

Attorney General Jeff Sessions to Make Burning the Confederate Flag Illegal

Mon, Jan 23, 2017 | By Derby Mack

Jeff Sessions, that proud son of Alabama, did something incredibly patriotic today. Vowing to protect, “that unique symbol of Southern dignity,” President Trump’s pick for Attorney General announced that the new administration would make it a crime to burn the Confederate flag. As a United States Senator, Sessions has long fought against flag desecration. He has voted...

Trump Anxiously Awaiting Ratings Bump From His First Terrorist Attack, Sources Say

Sun, Jan 22, 2017 | By Henricus Institor

As President Donald J. Trump looks to consolidate his electoral mandate, the thought of an impending tragedy is never far from his imagination. Analysts at the Pentagon predict that the United States will suffer a “notable” terrorist attack within the next 12 to 18 months, which could result in a 20% ratings bump for the administration. “When our nation is threatened,...

President Trump Celebrated By Spontaneous 40-Million Strong Women’s March

Sat, Jan 21, 2017 | By Kaylee-Aurora

President Donald J. Trump and First Lady Melania were awoken today by a massive parade of women who showed up on Washington, D.C.’s National Mall to celebrate the new administration. Hollywood celebrities, business leaders and regular Americans were among the teeming crowds. The spontaneous outpouring of support shocked and pleased the new president, who has long been popular...

Cinco De Mayo Deleted From White House Calendar

Sat, Jan 21, 2017 | By Kaylee-Aurora

Barack Hussein Obama’s eight-year assault on the American calendar is finally over, thanks to President Donald J. Trump. In one of our beloved president’s first executive orders, Trump has struck the sixth of May from all official records. Many will recall that the date has been claimed as “Cinco De Mayo” by members of the radical Latino underground. With our borders...

FBI Investigating Elizabeth Warren’s Covert Ties to Canada

Sat, Jan 21, 2017 | By Moishe Mustafa McPhearson

FBI Director James Comey announced today that his department is formally opening an investigation into Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren. The extreme leftist Congresswoman has emerged as one of the leading critics of President Trump’s patriotism and may have violated Federal law. According to sources in the Justice Department, Senator Warren’s radical activism has...

InfoWars Announces New Line of Public School Textbooks

Sat, Jan 21, 2017 | By Stephenson Billings

Betsy DeVos, President Trump’s new Secretary of Education, has just announced an important initiative to tear down the hardcore leftist agenda in our public schools. And it’s no surprise that liberals are absolutely freaking out. The multimillion-dollar deal signed with Alexander Emerick Jones, Executive Chairman of the InfoWars Media Group, calls for an entirely new series...

New CIA Head: Putin Was Trump’s Puppet This Entire Time

Sat, Jan 21, 2017 | By Moishe Mustafa McPhearson

Incoming CIA chief Mike Pompeo stunned Rush Limbaugh’s listeners this afternoon with a revelation on Russian hacking that finally puts this dangerous scandal to rest. In a short interview conducted on the wildly popular radio program, Trump’s pick to head America’s intelligence agency announced that Vladimir Putin was merely acting on orders of the new president and...

Trump To Offer Heartfelt Apology for the War of Northern Aggression

Sat, Jan 21, 2017 | By Derby Mack

President Donald J. Trump is set to announce an official apology for one of the darkest moments in American history. According to several White House sources, Mr. Trump will formally condemn the actions of the United States Government during the Civil War. The conflict, which took place from 1861 to 1865, left much of the South devastated and cost hundreds of thousands of...