HardDawn.com

Because Morning in America Wont Be Easy

Trump Has a “Superhuman Brain Beyond the Comprehension of Liberal Science,” America’s Top Dentist Confirms

Wed, Jan 17, 2018 | By Doc Bacon

One of America’s most beloved physicians risked his career today by announcing that Donald. J. Trump possesses a mind, “that big government leftwing science simply cannot grasp.” After an exhaustive research project that included weeks of examinations and hundreds of hours reading online message boards, Dr. Arthur Bacon Plimpton, DDS and BOHDSc, revealed the shocking...

Hillary Busted Trying to Get Into Mar-a-Lago Club With Fake ID

Wed, Jan 17, 2018 | By Rabbi Tippy Plumridge

It was one of those truly glorious Palm Beach weekends! Billionaires and political leaders and billionaire political leaders gathered to plot the course of America’s nationalist revival. Golf courses were freshly trimmed, champagne towers were readied. The illegal Guatemalans who landscape every inch of this paradise clenched their leaf blowers as caravans of Escalades stormed...

White House Studios Announces Remake of “The Moon Landing Hoax” (1969)

Tue, Jan 16, 2018 | By Henricus Institor

All that black cardboard and folded tinfoil doesn’t look like much today. But in 1969, Stanley Kubrick’s moon landing stage set was so convincing it launched the most brazen fake news story of the 20th century. Maybe people just wanted to believe. Star Trek, an Illuminati propaganda vehicle crafted by a 33rd Degree Freemason, had been beaming a pro-space agenda into our...

Bossy Bottoms From Outer Space Are Preventing Trump From Invading Uranus

Mon, Oct 9, 2017 | By Stephenson Billings

Since the days of Galileo, true patriots have stood up against the wrath of outer space. It’s a dark, cruel place, perfect for leftwing science and sexual perverts to run amok. No wonder Obama loved NASA’s exploration programs almost as much as he loved compromising with Iran! And just as Obama made bad deals with that rogue Muslim state, he did the same with a radical...

13 Mind-Blowing Gay Agenda Conspiracies That Are Almost Too Bonkers to Believe!

Sun, Jul 2, 2017 | By Stephenson Billings

Something is terribly wrong in America if you haven’t noticed! We’re a nation spiraling out of control. The young people are to blame and a lot of you old freaks, too! When did you degenerates become just so messy? Well, in case you’re wondering, here’s how the gays are destroying the country I once knew and loved: 1. Take a ride on the marijuana train and...

“Planet Earth II” is Incredibly Disrespectful of President Trump’s Environmental Vision and David Attenborough Needs to Apologize

Sun, Jul 2, 2017 | By Kaylee-Aurora

In these days of political division, it’s so difficult for parents to find television programming that lacks subversive leftwing messages. I learned this terrible lesson firsthand when I attempted to watch a British nature documentary with my 16-year old niece this weekend. We were flipping through Amazon on a quiet Saturday when a fascinating new show popped up on my feed....

Is the Looney Left Using the Fake Mika Brzezinski Story to Distract Us From the Trillions Obama Spent Building Super Cat Colonies on the Moon?

Sun, Jul 2, 2017 | By Stephenson Billings

Government waste is catapulting America into a financial abyss, yet democrats just want to talk Trump’s Twitter. Top experts were quick to label this week’s Mika Brzezinski hullaballoo a non-story, particularly at a time when the President is making amazing strides in eliminating health care and empowering investment banks. It really makes you wonder why radical leftist...

Kale Chips, Silent Killer

Fri, Jun 30, 2017 | By Doc Bacon

An eerie hush has fallen over the hamlet of Kingston, New York. Long gone are the tractors and pickup trucks of this once vibrant farming community. The Knightsbridge neighborhood of London is suffering the same fate. Home after home is darkened for months on end. Some streets are so devoid of inhabitants that the newspapers sellers and cheese shops have abandoned the area...

Basement of Snopes.com Headquarters Used for Atheist-Extraterrestrial Torture Orgies, Explosive New Report Claims

Thu, Jun 29, 2017 | By Henricus Institor

When Facebook signed a multi-million dollar deal with the “fact checking” website Snopes.com, many Americans were worried about its political bias. The move thrust the company overnight into an incredibly powerful position with little outside oversight. Snopes and its owners now had control over the newsfeed of the world’s biggest social media platform and could censor...

Did Kumail Nanjiani Strangle a Silicon Valley Psychic in 2009?

Thu, Jun 29, 2017 | By Stephenson Billings

It was several days before anyone noticed Gigi Chamberly’s lifeless body behind a dumpster in a KFC parking lot. The young California seamstress had lived a modest life but among a select group of immigrants from Juarez she was known as “Gigahertz” for her particular ability to channel certain otherworldly messages. All this might have amounted to a sad footnote in the...