New York City Erupts in Protest After Socialist “Bike Sharing” Mandate Forced on Taxpayers

Posted on by Rabbi Tippy Plumridge
No male-style bicycles are available in the scheme.

No male-style bicycles are available in the unusual scheme.

New Yorkers are in a big shemozzle this month over a harebrained scheme to put a dangerous mountain bike under the tush of every tourist, teen and thug with an ax to grind. The city is literally erupting in collisions and traffic jams as these people take to the streets 24 hours a day. Hizzoner Mike Bloomberg, New York City’s bad boy billionaire mayor, devised the plan and citizens are already pushing back. You see, Meshugena Mike is funding this whole narrischkeit with taxpayer money. Public parks have been bulldozed to make room for the enterprise. Bicycle docking stations are displacing private parking spots and disrupting the normal human foot traffic of apartment buildings. Elderly residents have complained that they now feel imprisoned behind a “Berlin Wall,” terrified of creeping out of their homes to navigate narrow sidewalks overrun by speeding cyclers.

I guess Mayor Mike is taking that passage of the Talmud to heart: “If one man says to thee, ‘Thou art a donkey,’ pay no heed. If two speak thus, purchase a saddle.” It looks like Hizzoner sees his citizens as donkeys now! Does he want us to saddle up and sweat to death as we carry our cargoes to and fro like some kind of lost pack animal in the desert! It likely doesn’t matter much for a man who travels the city by private helicopter or a fleet of black Cadillac Escalade SUVs, but for normal New Yorkers this is a nightmare!

On a sidenote: One perplexing aspect of this whole thing is that the bikes available are 100% girl’s bikes. Makes you sort of wonder about the target audience of this publicly-financed project!

Leftist intellectuals have given unwavering support of Mayor Mike's controversial program.

Leftist intellectuals have given unwavering support of Mayor Mike’s controversial tax and spend program.

But this gets even worse if you want to drive in New York City. You see, Meshugena Mike in all his wisdom is actually dividing up the streets and creating special “bicycle-only lanes” that are turning Gotham into a traffic jam horror show! The people behind the whole Citibank Bike scheme must have lobbied hard for that one. What sort of public accountability is being done about the bank’s involvement anyway? They must be minting money off this one now that the public is being forced to pay over a hundred dollars a year for it! And do you know who else suffers? The taxi cab drivers. They have less road to drive on and now they’re overwhelmed by all these inexperienced bicyclists causing fender benders and generally disobeying stop lights. What about their rights to earn an honest wage? Who knows, maybe making the yellow cab obsolete is all part of the Bloomberg plan.

I’ve talked to friends and relatives in the Big Apple, and what many are upset about is talk that this is just part of a broader push toward urban socialism. Certainly it’s nice to teach children to share, but to have a city-wide program that is owned by the government and managed by the bureaucrats flies in the face of private ownership. Don’t we, as Americans, have the right to own private property? Shouldn’t working toward that sort of ownership be one of the hallmarks of our society? Without it, how does capitalism even work? How will our children be motivated if they expect big government to provide every little thing for them, from their bicycles to their mini-sodas?

If you’ve ever seen a photo of communist China or Vietnam, you’ll know that those people rarely own cars. They have been denied that option by the government and instead, they’re forced to ride cheap, shaky bicycles. This is the basis for Bloomberg’s “bike sharing mandate.” Not only is it dangerous, it’s anti-democratic. Sorry, but in the United States owning a car is part of our national heritage and it’s one of our basic rights (heck, they should include THAT in the Constitution!).

All I can say is that I’m sick, sick, sick of this donkey show! Let’s close with a few more wise words from the Talmud: “Never expose yourself unnecessarily to danger; a miracle may not save you… and if it does, it will be deducted from your share of luck or merit.”


About This Journalist

Formerly Mrs. Marvin Plumridge-Hirschbaum of West Palm Beach, Florida, Rabbi Tippy is Senior Pastor and Accredited Messianic Rabbi at HardDawn Ministries. She ministers in the tradition of the first Jewish messengers of the Gospel, sharing the Messiah’s Words to Jew and Gentile, Israel and all nations alike. She has conducted services in Florida, Alabama and New Jersey and has also officiated at numerous weddings.

  • Freedom Fighter

    Overzealous gov’t mandates come in many forms and Bloomberg has pretty much experimented with every one of them. The people of NYC give him a pass because he’s a billionaire, but the truth is that he’s just a idiot totalitarian whose doing the bidding of the socialist and everyone else who hates the idea of the free market. This sort of stuff outrages me. Next he’ll outlaw private car ownership.

  • Truthseeker

    I can’t tell if this site is serious or satire, but it seems your audience largely takes it as serious, so I’m going to take you at your word…

    This article is so full of misinformation, misunderstandings, and a few lines that I suspect are outright lies, that I couldn’t just go on to the next thing on the Internet without responding.

    First, those are not girls’ bikes nor mountain bikes. These are bikes specifically designed for bike share programs. They meet the needs of the widest variety of people, including short people and those who enjoy kilts (and skirts), by allowing people to step through the frame instead of having to go over a top tube.

    Most of New York is happy about the bike share program. Even many who were naysayers during the planning process have come around since the system launch. People are buying memberships, they’re recalculating their budgets and commuting routes, and they’re enjoying having one more option for how they get around the city. Maybe your friends are all just as prejudiced and uninformed as you, but they certainly don’t represent the majority of NYC residents.

    Which brings me to my next point: it’s and OPTION. There is no mandatory program where the mayor is going to drive around, demand your car keys, and force you to sign up for an annual bike share pass. Those who can afford to own a private car in the city will still have the means, opportunity, and right to own their cars. Those who rely on public transit and cabs, though, now have another option for getting around cheaply, quickly, and without paying to park a car. To compare NYC to communist China is a ridiculous extended analogy that bears no resemblance to reality except for one thing: most people don’t own a car in both places. That’s it. Well, that hasn’t changed, whether we have bikes on the street or not.

    I challenge you to name the public park that was bulldozed for bikeshare. I have heard of no such thing, and searching for it after reading this produced nothing. This is likely a lie.

    And finally, I’d like to address the biggest lie in this whole pack of untruths: NYC’s new bike share program is 100% sponsor-funded (which is why it’s called “Citibike” and not “NYC publicly-funded bikeshare”). From the NYC bike share FAQs:

    Bike share in New York City is funded by sponsorship agreements, and, once the system launches, revenues from users. Sponsorship and revenues will cover the entire equipment and operations cost of the system. NYC Bike Share is not receiving any taxpayer or federal-aid dollars to establish and run the bike share system. In fact, the City expects that the system will make money. The City and NYC Bike Share will split all profits.

    If this site is serious, you’re doing yourselves and your followers a huge disservice publishing such outright trash. This is terrible journalism! If this site is satire, you need to do a better job of making the joke apparent. After all, if no one knows it’s a joke, the humorous intent doesn’t really matter.

    • David Agosta

      “I can’t tell if this site is serious or satire” Really? “Lesbian Wing of the Illuminati” didn’t nail for you?

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Thank you for the long reply, Mayor Bloomberg!