Lulu, The Creepy Man Stalking Sex App That Could Give You Herpes

Posted on by Henricus Institor
Lulu allows women to stalk men for potential intercourse, no matter the risks.

Lulu encourages women to stalk men for anonymous intercourse, no matter the risks.

In Guatemala in the 1950s, the CIA intentionally infected hundreds of people with gonorrhea and encouraged them to spread the disease. This was part of an experiment to analyze and track an entire population. Today, government scientists have embarked on a similar project in association with the Facebook app Lulu, an investigation has found.

Lulu is fast becoming one of the most popular apps on iPhones and Facebook. It allows young women to rate men by their sexual abilities. Once a girl has engaged in intercourse, she logs on to Lulu and describes her date’s stamina or shortcomings using various X-rated “hashtags.” The man’s Facebook account is linked to the app, so women who are impressed and desire specific types of fornication can contact the individual immediately.

On the other hand, many men have found themselves the objects of ridicule and slander because of Lulu. They are publicly denounced for erectile dysfunction, body odor, back hair, poverty, lack of bathroom towels, bloated testicles, long fingernails and many other seemingly minor characteristics. It should be noted that this app is restricted to women only and men are not allowed to access or even view their own post-coital reviews.

Hashtags, Hashbrowns and Cold Sores:

In a horrifying tale that recently went viral on Facebook, a young fellow who uses the handle “BushwickBroseph” recounted his brush with Lulu:

“I was hit up by this totally hot Jessa-type who said I scored 8.6 and some wicked hashes on some app named Lulu. We met up at Union Pool and started going at it in the bathroom. She lived in Ridgewood and I thought, ‘Woah, that’s chill’ so we went back there for some serious bump time. Next morning she took me to Tasty’s and even paid. A week later, the cold sores started…”

Here are just some of the common “hashes” these girls use to degrade and commodify young men:


Due to the enormous success of Lulu, young women are engaging in far greater levels of promiscuous sex today. And the rise in herpes infections and Carmex addiction proves it.

The app allows girls to cut to the chase and lure men to bed using inside information about male rituals and fantasies. Some would say it’s giving females an unfair advantage in the battle between the sexes. They can stalk a man who has a fetish for feet or dildos, for instance, or else track down all the Jews who seek Chinese dates in a given metropolitan area with just a few simple clicks. The end result is an inestimable number of hardcore one-night stands, lacking compassion or emotional intimacy. Lulu simply reduces men to slabs of meat, a quick meal to be stuffed in a women’s gullet, between shopping and the nail salon.

The majority of Lulu "hookups" transpire in club toilets and involve sodomistic penetration.

The majority of Lulu “hookups” transpire in club toilets and may involve sodomy.

Despite the implicit sexism and possible racist overtones, the app and its founder Alexandra Chong, have received the endorsement of the Obama administration through their mouthpiece, the New York Times. In another glowing review, Lulu is heralded as a new frontier for women on the web, a way to seize back what is perceived as a male-dominated internet.

Slutty Social Media App or NSA Spying Tool?

Yet all this success raises some interesting questions. The issue becomes far more complex when certain Herpes-positive elements of the application’s back-end coding are revealed and viewed in light of the National Security Agency’s close association with American social media.

As Edward Snowden’s leaks have revealed, every major player in the technology business in the U.S. has provided the NSA with private user data. In dozens of sprawling datacenter campuses, the NSA has been compiling these social media/Herpes records for innumerable experiments. And Lulu’s sudden success and official acceptance proves they’re also in on this game.

The CIA’s involvement with STD testing is not limited to Guatemala. The organization also spread syphilis among African-Americans from the 1930s to the 1980s. In the 1970s-90s, there were Hepatitis experiments that many link to the spread of AIDs in America. We’re also seeing strange reports of African monkeys in Florida that are knowingly spreading the Herpes virus and yet the government has taken no action to stop it. Such research is not unusual for massive bureaucratic fascist states, as any history of viral experiments in Nazi concentration camps will explain.

Ultimately, we must ask if the computer algorithm that Lulu uses is intentionally prioritizing women with Herpes. We should also wonder why the NSA is collecting this specific type of information. It could be argued that it gives them great insight into a population of young men who are otherwise difficult to track online. Certainly, the app is encouraging women to stalk men for the purpose of gratuitous fornication. And certainly, that fornication is loud and bestial, pushing far past the boundaries of common morality.

Lulu, the perverted Facebook app that turns sex-obsessed women into hunting parties that prey on innocent young men, has undoubtedly given Militant Feminism a new battleground for their devastating war on American masculinity. Does traditional manhood really have much of a future in this nation if the people and our politicians continue to ignore this crisis?

Warning: this ad for the Lulu sex app may be inappropriate for viewers under 21.

About This Journalist

Henricus Institor is the “nom de plume” of a former Internet hacktivist and high ranking member of the atheist radical elite. Yet even there, amongst the most dangerous liberals in the world, he could not hide from God’s Calling. He was reborn in the Blood of Christ in 2011 and today “Henricus Institor” serves as’s foremost expert on secret left wing agendas and global power conspiracies.