There is a great mystery surrounding Hollywood heavyweight Keanu Reeves these days. He has been spotted on numerous occasions dazed and silent in public. Fans all over the internet have expressed concern. Some worry that he’s deeply depressed. Others suggest that he’s performing a Buddhist meditation ritual. New investigative work, however, is challenging these popular cover stories.
Reeves was born in the Middle East in 1964 and spent his childhood in Canada. At the time, psychiatrist Donald Ewen Cameron was experimenting with something known as the “psychic driving” concept under a CIA-backed program known as MKUltra. Dr. Cameron was also located in Canada and is known to have treated the young Keanu for his childhood dyslexia.
As the boy grew, Cameron’s successors at the Canadian psychic research center introduced Keanu to the fundamentals of military mind control, even though the program had been “officially” discotinued in the 1970s. (Interestingly enough, the bulk of MKUltra’s top secret files were destroyed by order of CIA Director Richard Helms, so details of Reeves’ involvement remain sketchy.)
The specific type of mind control developed in Canada plays off the concepts of group psychology. An individual, known in military terms as a strategic transmitter, takes up a central position in a crowd and concentrates on those around him. Using the power of his mind, the transmitter attempts to bypass the areas of the brain that deal with cognitive reasoning and narrative comprehension. Instead, he drills down directly to the Limbric System, and specifically the Amygdala. With the aid of sophisticated pheromone aromatherapeutical messages, the transmitter inspires bursts of anxiety or euphoria in the surrounding subjects. These bursts are, in turn, channeled back to the transmitter and allow him to broadcast far beyond the immediate crowd with alarming potency.
It’s undeniable that Keanu Reeves is a Canadian and, as a Canadian, remains loyal to the socialist system. That socialist system has been profoundly threatened by the rise of Sarah Palin. As Governor of Alaska, Palin stood firm against the worst intentions of her foreign neighbor, criticizing their failing health care system and crushing business climate. It could very well be said that Palin is the American Patriot most feared by Canadians today. Her passion and brilliance stand in stunning contrast to the corrupt bureaucrats who haunt the halls of Ottawa and Toronto.
It should be noted that not all Canadians are bad people, but by remaining citizens of a nation that supports a globalist socialist agenda, each and every one of them is a genuine threat to the American way of life.
The recent public sightings of Keanu Reeves fit perfectly into the MKUltra “strategic transmitter” profile. His crouched position circulates his body’s own power. He selects cafes and public squares where innocent people are about. Their minds are open to his nefarious probings. Reeves is also known for his peculiar odor, almost like damp cashmere mixed with stale almonds. Add this smell to the allure of his Hollywood celebrity, and spectators are readily intrigued. Little do they realize that their minds have become easy pickings for the sinister Keanu. They are clear and curious and the actor reciprocates by titillating them with his glamorous mystery. Indeed, Reeves thrills at the public attention and often travels to obscure movie theaters and shopping malls just to feed off the innocence of young people’s sugar-addled brains.
So what could Keanu Reeves possibly be doing to Sarah Palin? As a Canadian, he has sworn a blood oath to defend the national socialism of his countrymen. Most likely, he seeks to disrupt and confuse the Tea Party hero. He could also be attempting to hack into her brain, to leach off her inimitable knowledge. He may be trying to find out if Palin will run in the 2016 election. Such information would be priceless on the global terrorist market.
Fortunately, an incredible group of women has risen to the task of protecting the Governor’s brain through a little psychic warfare of their own. This army is known as the “Prayer Warriors for Sarah Palin” and they’re 12,000 soldiers strong!
Keanu Reeves and his vintage style of military mind control (we have better methods today) would be a minor footnote in academic treatises were it not for one important fact. Analysts believe that Reeves recently gained access to a Canadian satellites that will vastly increase his psychological powers. In the 1940s, Dr. Wilhelm Reich postulated that the public power line network could be used for mind control experiments. In the 1960s, MKUltra’s Dr. Cameron was involved with the launch of two military satellites named, appropriately enough, for the pagan god of sinners and artists: Isis I and Isis II. The Canadian Space Agency has claimed for years that these orbiters have been decommissioned, but the renewed attempts by Keanu Reeves to perform his strategic transmitting in public squares prove otherwise.
Isn’t it about time the United States Military neutralize the threat of Keanu Reeves and his psychologically -powered socialist satellites looming in our skies? The answer for President Palin when she assumes office is decidedly, yes!