Just Say NO to the Resistance!

Posted on by Kellyanne Conway

As a mother, I thought the triumph of Donald J. Trump would be a precious moment for America, a time when we sent our children away to sing patriotic anthems and beat off the ethnic hordes menacing our borders.

But so many protests have happened since the inauguration, so many attempts from within to threaten all that Mr. Trump believes in.

Today the cult of extreme liberalism is spreading across our nation, and no one is safe from it—not you, not me, and certainly not our children, because this so-called “Resistance” is directly targeting the vulnerable with hardcore sex and marijuana and the allure of socialist revolution.

These degenerates gather on our nation’s darkened edges, cavorting in reckless animal abandon. The young and passionate are drawn to that flame of human desire. Shoulder to shoulder these ruffians stand. They chant wildly and sing raunchy songs. Some wave explicit signs. A heady musk emerges from the protest crowd, the lust for power and change.

Later, they channel that fury into a writhing sexual congress, men on men, women on women, threesomes, groups, furries, leather and Latins. Wine flows eternal. Moral decency is lost in a cloud of reefer smoke. And the sweat will drip down the hairy chest of an illegal named Manuel as he tongues deeper and deeper into our country’s hidden crevices and then mounts us, owns us, completely, utterly, undeniably violates us!

Many of you may be thinking: “The Resistance is so far away it doesn’t concern me.” But it does concern you. It concerns us all because of the way it tears at our Christian authority and because it’s aimed at destroying our coal plants and oil pipelines and our beloved corporate citizens themselves.

As a parent, I’m especially concerned about what the Resistance is doing to families with college-age children. Listen to this account from a woman in Florida whose son attended an elite Northern university: “Paul was only 23 when he had recipient sex with a Muslim homosexual in a sanctuary city ghetto. Since then, he just wants to smoke ‘ganga blunts’ all day and read Karl Marx. I’m afraid to have him in my Jacksonville home, afraid that he might rape my prized Chihuahuas and then slaughter the entire family in the dead of the night as a sacrifice to the pagan atheist gods of the Resistance.”

Now you can see why the Resistance concerns every one of us—and all of white Christendom. Liberals steal away so much. They take and take, until finally every time CNN’s “fake news” goes into a child’s mind, something Christian is forced out—the love of Jesus and racial purity and entrepreneurialism and deferred income tax credits.

The Resistance takes away our God-given fear of science and Mexicans. It replaces that with the dream of utopia—free health care and extravagantly funded public schools and interracial solidarity. But that pot-fueled pipe dream comes at too grave a cost, as we’d learn soon enough when the United Nations stormtroopers come kicking down our bedroom doors to deliver the bill.

Each of us has to put forth a blind obedience to Trump Nation,
whether in social settings or in the workplace, and to denounce those who flirt with that socialist dystopia. There’s no moral middle ground. Indifference is not an option. We want you to help us create a nuclear atmosphere for any hint of dissent. For the sake of our children, I implore each of you to be brutal in your opposition to the Resistance.

Indoctrinating our young people early on is the only way. Not long ago, in Texas, I was asked by a group of Trump Youth what to do if they were offered to join the Resistance, and I answered, “Just say no.” Soon after that, those teenage patriots burned down a nearby mosque and incinerated over 10,000 books from the local library.

Our job is never easy because the Resistance is ingenious. They have colleges and Hollywood and masturbation on their side. They are forever tempting us with wild, muscled, earthy bodies, the ripe corners, the firm forms, that intoxicating whiff of raw testosterone exploding forth, all hot and messy across your chest like a turgid Chipotle burrito wrapped too tight on a Sunday morn.

And finally, to the young people reading this, I have a very personal message for you: There’s a big, wonderful world out there. It belongs to Donald J. Trump. It’s fraternal and white and not gay at all. Don’t cheat yourselves out of grabbing an available bunk there. Our secret police needs you, but it needs you to be clear-eyed and terrified. If your parents have succumbed to the Resistance, the most patriotic thing you can do is inform on them. Turn them in, denounce them officially, go public with the details of their violent abuse. Trump will protect you!

So, to my young friends out there: America can great, but not when it’s overrun by unions and illegals and civil rights. Open your eyes to the national community President Trump is offering. See the fires and wars only he promises to bring! He will make America thrilling for white men again! Even the dull ones! So say yes to the coming purges! And when it comes to the Resistance, just say no!

About This Journalist

Before becoming President Trump's most vivacious White House Counselor, Ms. Conway was a World Champion Blueberry Packer and Fox News Pundette. In her spare time Kellyanne enjoys youth rallies, ICE round-ups and crushing the liberal media’s pathetic talking heads.

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