Has Julian Assange Been Replaced By One of Hillary’s Body Doubles?

Posted on by Moishe Mustafa McPhearson
The greatest actor in our political theater?

The greatest actor in our political theater?

CNN informs the public that it’s illegal to possess Wikileaks emails. John Podesta jokes about the risotto at the Ecuadorian embassy. Hollywood insider Pamela Anderson makes a surprise visit to Julian Assange, bearing a food platter. It contains risotto. And then the embassy’s internet goes out.

This is political theater at its finest, folks, and you’ve just sat down in a front row seat!

How much of this is “real”? How much is outright falsehood? Does it even matter at a certain point if the masses and the mass media push this story past the tipping point? Fnord!

PepsiCo pledges to cut the fat, salt and sugar by 2025. An executive jet bearing a tail number connected to post 9/11 CIA renditions departs London for Langley. Target halts clown-mask sales amid creepy-clown hysteria. Secretary of State John Kerry threatens the President of Ecuador. Wikileaks retaliates by tweeting encryption hash tags with Kerry’s name embedded in them, suggesting that they are about to release a cache of his emails. Jim Beam whiskey makers go on strike.

All the while, Donald J. Trump’s criticism of Hillary’s cronies in the global banking conspiracy fall from the front page. Obama’s secret war in Somalia continues with nary a scream from Congress. America’s proxy war in Yemen intensifies. Clinton gears up to recruit her Treasury team directly from Wall Street.

This is what it’s like to live in the disinformation age, sheeple!

Hillary knows we know that she uses body doubles, yet no one seems to care.

Hillary knows we know that she uses body doubles, yet she doesn’t seem to care.

None of this is a coincidence. It’s all clearly been choreographed to distract us. Julian Assange is either dead or kidnapped.

Hillary and Julian do look alike after all! All it would take is a new wig, some pancake make-up, a 24-hour media blackout window and a compliant press. Then voila! the old Assange has been switched out for the new! Maybe the old one is being held in the FEMA prison beneath the Denver Airport with Robin Williams and the original Ricky Gervais (the funny, English one not that whoring giddy-faced probably from Canada hack).

The next broadcast from the Ecuadorian Embassy in London will feature a fresh-faced Assange. Maybe his ears will be slightly different. Or his teeth.

New and improved Assange will make vague warnings about leaks to come. They’ll be “damaging” and “revealing.” There will be a “public” “backlash” and much “hand-wringing” in the press about the coziness between reporters and subjects, the reckless pursuit of “breaking news,” the focus on clicks over quality, etc. etc. until we’re finally so far away from that very first thing we were so outraged about thirteen Facebook posts ago that we’ve grown bored of the fact that our world is entirely corrupt…

We’re off topic here, too, folks!

There’s been much debate in informed circles whether Julian Assange was controlled opposition from the beginning. He may have been a limited hangout, just like Edward Snowden. Ask yourself, have their revelations actually changed anything? Sure, some folks are angrier than ever at the elite, but have we done one single thing to chip away at the Illuminati’s power? Instead, we’re closer than ever to the election of the ultimate crony capitalist insider, Hillary Clinton, and her war with Russia. And that seems like a New World Order wet dream. More war, more fascist destruction of individual freedom.

Be sure to buy some popcorn at the concession stand!

Is the reptilian Illuminati elite pulling their puppet strings to distract us from the real conspiracy?

Is the reptilian Illuminati elite pulling their puppet strings to distract us from the real conspiracy?

And once again, we see the Clinton Foundation dipping into their vast reserves of body doubles. Are they clones? Are they AI? Or holograms? The possibilities are mind boggling and endlessly terrifying.

Maybe the seizure of our freedom is itself a distraction by the Jim Beam corporation to mislead us about their internal employee woes. Maybe those employees, in turn, are just the puppets of the American Clown Association, which wants to stop people from freaking out about the homeland clown sightings. Maybe the clowns themselves are descendants of reptilian aliens who want to normalize inter-species relations, just like the Super Homosexuals who now control Hollywood and the Federal Reserve. Maybe it’s all just a sickening game to them, like the child hunting parties of Old Europe.

Or Nicki Minaj.

Until the alternative media proves otherwise, we can have faith that this story is incredibly fluid at this exact moment so stay tuned to your internet browsers, sheeple! Or is that what they wanted you to do all along?

Meanwhile, the New York Times runs the piece, “How Do You Hail a Tractor in India?” above the fold on this auspicious day. Nothing to see here!

About This Journalist

Moishe Mustafa McPhearson is the pseudonym of a former Iraqi Navy Seal who worked undercover for the Bush Administration and Irish Intelligence in the aftermath of 9/11. He has been awarded the CIA’s coveted Intelligence Star and was once a contender for a Grammy in Country Music, but had to bow out due to security concerns. Today, Moishe consults various presidential campaigns, EMP awareness groups and Fortune 500 companies while remaining an active voice for Freedom in the Middle East.