Is Yoga Safe for Women?

Posted on by Doc Bacon

More than ever before, women today are excited about health and exercise. They’re jogging, they’re hitting the gym, they’re watching their waistlines and eating healthy. In the long run, this will help keep our medical care costs down and the husbands out there happy!

Among all these fun exercise options, one trend really sticks out. It’s “yoga” and it’s immensely popular in the big cities and in California. Part of the appeal is that yoga looks quite easy. One sits on the floor cross-legged for long periods of time, breathing deep until you fall into a meditative trance. There are other positions, most notably “doggy style” and “spinning.” It’s a strange experience to say the least, but is it safe?

yogaweirdYoga comes from the jungles of India, where enchanters worship a wide range of sensual deities and mythic monsters. It is a fearsome, archaic religion that shares much with Arab Islam and Chinese Buddhism. Followers believe in reincarnation and the emptiness of the human soul. One can please the Gods through offerings of sex, food and money, but that is no guarantee that you won’t be reincarnated as a tree frog in your next life.

It shall come as no surprise, then, that yoga believers are a dark, dour lot. They cherish neither hope nor community, Law nor Faith. There are no principles of service and honesty and love of country. Indeed, the sensual aspects of yoga dominate. These are a people far too familiar with every crevice of their own bodies. They’re libertines, incessant masturbators, thrill seekers and hedonists.

In America, women who yoga tend to be divorcees or lesbians. They are older and unable to exercise by traditional means. They even use the yoga centers as hunting grounds for sexual adventures. Many of these places are found in basements or down inner city side streets. Practitioners are locked away from public view and the curious are intentionally driven away. Inside, these women strip down and roll around on the floor, letting out deep carnal moans. They stare at each other wistfully and there are interludes where they press their heaving, sweaty bodies against each other, rubbing their most private regions in some sort of barbaric fertility rite.

The men drawn to the fire of this scene are a queer lot. Homosexuals, foreigners, hippies, they pride themselves on hairy chests and long silken hair. They arrive on motorcycles and rarely depart alone. The lechery here defies logic for such men are, by nature, untrustworthy and bacterial.

In the final analysis, it’s clear that yoga is entirely inappropriate and possibly even dangerous. Beyond the physical damage it does and the lascivious obsession with female sexuality it encourages, there are also spiritual concerns. Many Christian groups, including the Vatican, have condemned yoga for forcing women away from American faith. Its Orientalism is dark and pagan, some even suggest Satanic. Even if half of these claims turn out to be false, is yoga really worth the risk? If you’re concerned for the health of the women in your life, speak to them today about the real truth behind the yoga agenda!

yogatruths

About This Journalist

Dr. Arthur Bacon Plimpton, DDS and BOHDSc, is a retired physician who spent decades fighting on the frontlines of America’s healthcare fiasco. Today, he uses his journalism to inoculate citizens against our nation’s pandemic of socialism, scientism and sexual perversion.

  • Nic

    Have you ever seen Yoga, mostly 20 year olds, in great shape, both guys and girls, done in open window studios that are right on busy streets. No one touches each other and a good yoga teacher will not bring up anything spiritual

    • Jema McCardell

      Satire. The entire site is satire.