He’s one of the biggest youth stars in Hollywood today. With hit movies and million dollar TV show contracts, his career is soaring. On the web, he’s an idol to geeks and burners alike. They adore his goofy demeanor and disarming smile. In real life, he pals around with celeb A-listers Ron Howard and Sarah Silverman. But is there a dark side to Michael Cera’s “all American” personality?
Little cracks in this perfectly constructed image have appeared over the years. There were the epic fights with castmates on Arrested Development, the dorky comedy show that famously failed in primetime. There are the stories from the fans that dared approach Cera for just a smile, only to be attacked by the ego-mad maniac. And then there are the whispered rumors of sexual perversion, luxurious hotel suites and a small fortune spent on crisis management teams.
Truth is many fans never drank the Kool Aid of the Michael Cera cult. He just seems irritating. His dialogue pauses and silly smirks are forced. His body looks awkward and his hands are fat. His face is a bit too round for a major Hollywood player. His natty curls are fine for a low budget comedy set in New Jersey, but they don’t work as “People mag pinup” material. The whole “innocent nice guy” thing is barely believable, particularly with that creepy fuzz of a mustache. With those desperate eyes and fleshy gropes, he comes across as some sort of horny dork who might jump into your bed while you’re sleeping. And then there’s that voice. Is he still in puberty? It creaks and squeaks and whines and moans like a stupid-faced girl drunk on her first wine cooler. Sorry Michael, most Americans just don’t need a wine cooler man-child with fat hands in their life!
Controversial Political Agenda Angers Parents
What many readers will find even more upsetting is Michael Cera’s secret ties to socialism. With few exceptions, every single role this actor has taken on involves a criticism of capitalism and faith. In the 2007 film Superbad (written by Seth Rogen, a comedian with known communist sympathies), Cera mocks America’s hardworking men in blue, releasing a harrowing portrait of a local police department that is simply trying to keep its community safe. Juno, a celebration of teen pregnancy at the dawn of Obama’s welfare state, shows off Michael as a hapless “baby daddy” who avoids his Christian responsibility of fatherhood. The boy can spread his seed and get teen girls pregnant without any fear in this new age of immorality since big government is always there to save us. In another Cera film, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, we were exposed to the sort of teenage brutality usually reserved for CNN headlines. A man in his 20s goes on a violent sexual rampage after his out of wedlock relationship with a young girl goes horribly awry. This is the End, a movie that exposed Michael’s massive ego and harsh sexual yearnings, is just the latest example of this actor’s weird, downward spiral into divahood.
And then there’s Arrested Development. I have to admit I never understood the TV show. It’s weird and confusing and none of the actors make much sense. I guess it’s some sort of cynical approach to life that hipsters find funny. And it’s the sort of criticism of the capitalist job creator in American culture that democrats love to make today (the lead character, an older rich man is played by Danny DeVito, and he just seems to mock everything about hard work and success). But what’s the point of art and culture if you’re always attacking and criticizing decent people?
Another fact about Cera that you won’t find in the national media is that he was originally from Canada. As a Canadian, he grew up sucking at the teat of the socialist welfare state. Knowing full well America’s dim view of communism, Cera has totally refused to talk politics in the America press. It’s known privately that he took part in the general Canadian smear campaign against Sarah Palin, but Michael has never issued any sort of public apology to the Governor for his actions. Also, he has not once condemned any act of terrorism, both domestic or abroad. He has never advocated for faith or common sense, nor called out Barack Obama for his egregious violations of human dignity. And then there was the time he hid away in Chile (famous producer of cocaine and communism) during a prolonged mental breakdown!
As a member of the generation that’s Michael Cera’s target audience let me just say this to the diva actor: Dude, being a socialist IS NOT cool!