If Atheism Were Real

Posted on Jan 10, 2013 - 5:19pm by Stephenson Billings

antichristDespite the savage lessons of Hitler and Stalin, many good people are simply indifferent to the rise of secularism in America today. Children are joining forces with leftist political groups to expel essential moral teachings from our schools. Vigilantes organize to boycott Christian food franchises for exercising their right to free speech. And all across the internet, teens gather on secretive websites to agitate and conspire for mythic Godless utopias, blind to the sickening, fleshy climax that awaits. Yet if the 20th century can teach us anything, it’s that when Militant Atheists are given free rein to prey on the dim and young, the end result can be truly calamitous for the entirety of human civilization.

While the brutal game plan of globalist atheism is not widely known, many experts agree that its final solution could be far worse than anything dreamt up in a Munich beer hall. Educators, thinkers and leaders need to teach our young people the truth about this surreal, belligerent cult. This begins with eradicating the common spiritual superstitions of the radical liberals. Today, let’s review the fifteen most absurdly illogical and unscientific “beliefs” of the Militant Atheists and prove why they are patently false.

1. Absolute Nothingness
The basic premise of atheism is that all matter came into existence during an event known as the “Big Bang.” Prior to that there was a complete blank slate of emptiness. How can something come from nothing? How would the void of nothingness even be stirred into action to compose something as elaborate as the universe? No amount of atheistic wishful thinking can create substance out of absence, let alone create an honest answer to these questions. QED: God.

2. Life Would Not Exist
The second most glaring failure of atheism is the idea that life “evolved” from inanimate objects. Despite centuries of scientific inquiry, we’ve never been able to replicate this or even prove beyond a reasonable doubt that such a fraudulent equation even makes sense.

3. Mother Nature’s Grand Design
The Bible repeatedly warns us against mixing species and types. Not only are we destroying purity by interbreeding, we’re endangering the health of our people as a whole. As stewards of life on this planet, humans have enforced this code and the result is the beautiful hierarchy of the animal kingdom and the practical logic of the food chain. If God never existed and such prohibitions were never heard, we would collapse into a mess of miscegenation where fantasies such as mermaids and turduckens become the reality.

atheistideals

4. Meteors Would Destroy All Life on Earth
The empty brutality of space is written on the pockmarked face of the moon. The universe’s unceasing cascade of hurling, flaming objects have rendered that orb’s surface harsh and devastated. How has our Earth avoided a similar fate? Have we been spared by Divine fiat? Astronomers have never been able to prove otherwise, but don’t hold your breath waiting for the liberal media to share this news. Indeed, there is simply no other reason why we flourish with such a range of beauty, from the gentle flowering of a jungle orchid to the amazing grace of Jesus.

5. Human Civilization Would Never Have Developed
All the great foundational principles of humanity originated in the very Words of God. The Rule of Law, the dignity of personhood and the notion of a collective human spirit are instructions handed down to us. Is it not absurd to think that a barbaric race of naked apes cavorting in caves could conceive such things? That’s what immoral atheists like journalist Al Stefanelli would have you believe. Without a higher power, the breadth of human civilization is simply impossible within a 5,000-year span of existence.

6. Modern Society Could Not Have Progressed
The collective human spirit is one of God’s most ingenuous inventions. It reveals that our civilization is not just an empowering concept, but also a changing one. Collectively, we embrace progress as we work to improve ourselves and our world. The model for our ceaseless experimentation and innovation is none other than those six days that God spent creating the Earth. Just as He happily crafted in his heavenly workshop, today’s engineers and scientists tinker away in their labs in an awkward attempt to mimic such inexplicable ingenuity.

7. Love Would Cease to Exist
Love is humanity’s simplistic effort to emulate the bond between God and his children, God and Jesus and even Jesus and the Virgin Mary. It is through our spiritual education that we outline this notion of love in our daily lives. We may not perfect it, but without God there to guide and inspire us, human existence would revert to unbridled sexual savagery. Our ideal of a “family” would be void and procreation would be nothing more than an accidental byproduct of rape in the bitter landscape of nihilism that atheists cherish so deeply.

8. America Would Never Have Been Founded
From the Constitution to the Bill of Rights, from our sacred patriotism to our modern system of Government, every significant element of the United States is drawn directly from Biblical wisdom. Our founding documents are a veritable cheat sheet of Christ’s teachings.

9. Science and Learning Would Simply Not Exist
Christianity’s emphasis on the human and the humane stands in stark contrast to the exotic pantheons of vengeful gods that one finds in Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam and the many other false religions. Indeed, the Christian emphasis on the living soul’s days here on Earth has always pushed man to learn and question his existence. Furthermore, it was the church’s very structure and its seminaries and academies that launched the glories of our scientific age. Even such geeky wits as Galileo, Newton and Einstein have affirmed the existence of a Christian God.

10. We Would All Become Super Beasts According to “Evolution Theory”
“Evolution” posits that species adapt and develop according to environmental circumstance, but human beings have been physically unchanged for the entirely of recorded history. If Darwin’s controversial anti-God concepts were actually true, one would expect humans to have sprouted wings and flippers, X-ray visions and the power to fry whole chickens with our telepathic brains! No wonder salivating youngsters are drawn to the comic book fantasy of atheism!

cannibalatheists

11. Cannibalism, Rape and Hatred Would Reign Supreme
Humans live in perpetual crisis between the forces of good and evil. Take away the love of righteousness and the fear of eternal punishment, and we may well devolve into utter chaos. Not only would society, science and law not exist under atheism, but the darkest natures of people would emerge as our most salient characteristics. Sadly, many of our most powerful Militant Atheists are aware of these facts, yet push the terror of existentialism irregardless.

12. Homosexual Gangs of Pot Addicted “Vampire” Teens
Children are blank canvases awaiting the brushstrokes of a parent’s faith. Take away the wisdom of our elders and what becomes of the next generation? One need only look at today’s worst teen trends to get a clue. Drugs, hardcore sexual perversion and the most disgusting of acts of cultural “creativity” await. Would it surprise you to learn that these are the very industries that most atheists are heavily invested in?

13. Alien Invasion!
Atheism is the number one fantasy fueling science fiction fanatics today. They love to believe that it’s a statistical probability that life exists somewhere out there in the billions upon billions of planets in the universe. They believe this, well because… math! But if such a nihilistic, cruelly calculated theory of a Godless existence were true, wouldn’t it also follow that little green aliens are real? What’s preventing them from invading our planet and harvesting our organs! Maybe our telepathic turduckens could fight them off?

14. Apocalypse?
Here’s an ontological conundrum for you theologians out there. If God did not exist, what would prevent Satan from inflicting an apocalypse upon the Earth?

15. If Atheism Were Real, Atheism Would Not Exist
The basic tenets of atheism are a bastardization of 19th century Christian humanist beliefs mixed with the wrongheaded liberalism of Vatican II. If the wealth of the church’s teachings had never existed in the first place, today’s obsession with existential humanism would never have come into being. Furthermore, if God never existed, the concept of denying him would never have been created. Thus the very existence of atheism– and all it’s decadent and disastrous attempts to destroy humanity– only underscore the great truth of God’s very being.

 

radicalatheism

About This Journalist

Dr. Stephenson Billings is an award-winning Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!

  • LanceJZ

    Wait, so this site is not like the Onion, someone actually thinks this shit makes sense?

    • Brian Westley

      You can’t refute that Obama’s IRS is using Nazi UFO technology to bully the Tea Party!

      • Bandoman

        Wait until they arm the turduckens!

    • domin8r

      Seems like this site is better than the Onion..

    • pqbu2u

      No, it’s much more “seamless” than the Onion, and therefore darker, scarier, but still satire; still entertaining. Take a look at the name of the site one more time… and if your Hard Dawn lasts for more than four hours, self medicate!

  • MistressLadybug

    You’re just a moron, really. So much of this here is just so WRONG, I can’t even go into detail about it. Not because it is to weary, you see, but more so that I’ve learned that fool will not listen, even when faced with something before them that stands to contradict what they think they know as ‘true’. I believe what I see, feel, hear, taste, smell, what I think. Not what someone else tells me is the world around me. You have wrapped yourself in a closed box and tied it with gossamer webs faith. This means you will always be blind to what kindness really is, to what the meaning of life really is. And I pity you. Just one thing, from one human to another; be kind to all around you, no matter their creed or skin colour, religion or heritage. spread love instead of hate and in the end, it won’t matter what we believe, because we’ll know and understand we’re all equal.

    • TrueBeliever

      Somebody needs to stop all their nonsense HATE posts and read the BIBLE.

      • Jonathan Vlietstra

        LOL, you are a perfect example of a TrueBeliever.
        Calling the post that says one should be kind to all other humans a hate post, while defending a racist! (the article writer stated that interracial breeding is wrore killing angels article).
        Hmm, if MistressLadyBug had read the bible, maybe she would be filled with hate like you.

    • Atheism is not a sin

      Thank you ladybug… The ignorance and misguided thoughts about atheism is giving me a headache…

  • ArcSpark
  • Sarah

    1,2,3,4, 9, 10- well, science just wasn’t your best subject, was it?

    . Scientists have “tinkered” away enough in their labs to know the origin of life. And you wouldn’t be able to type up this article without them. god didn’t give you electricity and internet, too, did he?

    Oh, and your #14- satan doesn’t exist either- :) so that’s why there’s no apocalypse.

    6. I have more reason to accomplish things during my life- I have no after life.

    And I’m also good without the threat of hell, so what does that make you?

  • Jack Johnson Phd

    Thank you Dr. Billings for exposing the foolishness of those servants of
    Satan who call themselves atheists ! They don’t know the love of our
    God, but they are going to find it when they burn in hell !

    • Jack’s Johnson

      “Dr” Johnson, I see the love of your “god” every day in places like Afghanistan, Syria and Sudan. Innocent people – god fearing people – are suffering and dying every day because of the “love” of your god who has chosen to ignore their lifetime of prayer and reverence towards him. Yet, he always seems to grant the wishes of Mega Church pastors who need more and more money for their helicopters and Italian suits.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Jack, I do it for readers just like you who prize truth over the easy way out! Thank you for your service, my friend!

      • eqfan592

        What’s sad is that you don’t recognize your twisted, warped version of “truth” is, in fact, the “easy way out,” as you put it. Seek help.

      • In comic heaven

        Truth requires evidence, not emotional conjecture. Journalism requires actual investigation. I would know, because I actually work as a real journalist. You are a blogger. Journalist would imply you report actual events as opposed to spewing this unchecked trash. But keep it coming. I love this site.

    • SecularPatriot

      PhD in Christian Apologetics.

      So a useless education for someone so pretentious they need to put the title in their username.

      Awesome.

      Some of us have PhDs in real fields and don’t feel the need to add letters after our name to impress anonymous people on the internet.

    • Infidelephant

      Wait… we are going to “know the love of your God” when we are “burning in Hell???”

      Talk about your Stockholm Syndrome! Do you also suggest that battered wives stay in their abusive relationships because it’s obvious their husbands “love” them when they are getting beaten?

      I can’t tell you how happy I am to not have your twisted worldview. Wow.

  • Urbane_Gorilla

    “Despite the savage lessons of Hitler and Stalin..” …That’s because being ‘secular’ doesn’t turn one into a jack-booted Nazi any more than wearing a crucifix will make you a saint. We don’t have to go over the litany of religious abuses over the centuries do we?

    I’ll pose you a question though: What is wrong with religious apologists that they have to reach for extreme examples, flawed logic and circular reasoning to defend their beliefs?

    • Stephenson_Billings

      I’ll pose you a question. Why are liberals so afraid of the truth that they have to hide beneath a pile of red herrings? You idiocy stinks of rotting fish, pervert.

      • eqfan592

        You don’t even know what a red herring is, dude. Seriously, you are completely insane, and should seek serious help immediately. I’m not saying this to be mean, but to help you hopefully treat the mental illness that has lead to this sorry state.

        • Stephenson_Billings

          Why do so many radical atheists lack even a modicum of common sense?

          • Urbane_Gorilla

            Well… I’m not a radical atheist. I was baptized RC and both my wives were religious. I do my best to adhere to the principles of logic when debating and try to stay away from silly name calling.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            Roman Catholic? But with a phrase like “both my wives,” you sound like a mormon.

          • Urbane_Gorilla

            Sequential…I also don’t practice strapping the family dog to the roof of my car.

          • Urbane_Gorilla

            “Militant Atheism tends to attract people so burdened by their lusts and
            failures that they need an excuse to deny God. It makes me wonder what
            you’re hiding up your pant leg.” ….

            Hmmm…And I have to wonder why you’re so interested…. ;-)

          • I_AM_JESUS_CHRIST

            Not only is atheism real, but, in fact, YOU Mr. Billings are making it real!!

            Atheism is defined as the “belief in the existence of a god or gods, esp. belief in one god as creator of the universe, intervening in it and sustaining a personal relation to his creatures.” Atheism, then, by definition, is the revocation of such an idea.

            You are a devout theist. Not only are you a devout theist, you are a devout theist who is committed spread the word of your God. Now, to spread this message, from what I gather from your above statements:

            1) No amount of atheistic wishful thinking can create substance out of absence, let alone create an honest answer to these questions.

            But God can, and you have just as much proof of Him?

            2) we’ve never been able to replicate this or even prove beyond a reasonable doubt that such a fraudulent equation even makes sense.

            Prove beyond a reasonable doubt that God exists.

            3) If God never existed and such prohibitions were never heard, we would collapse into a mess of miscegenation where fantasies such as mermaids and turduckens become the reality.

            These things don’t happen because of DNA incompatibility. If this is God’s doing, please, again refer to my question in #2.

            4) The universe’s unceasing cascade of hurling, flaming objects have rendered that orb’s surface harsh and devastated. How has our Earth avoided a similar fate? Have we been spared by Divine fiat?

            There are hundreds of accounts of asteroids hitting Earth, and even an account by scientists that prove that ancient civilizations and dinosaurs may have been destroyed by such an impact: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2158054/Scientists-discover-evidence-meteorite-storm-hit-Earth-13-000-years-ago-killed-prehistoric-civilisation.html

            5) All the great foundational principles of humanity originated in the very Words of God. The Rule of Law, the dignity of personhood and the notion of a collective human spirit are instructions handed down to us. Is it not absurd to think that a barbaric race of naked apes cavorting in caves could conceive such things?

            Rather than give you my direct response to this question, I will pose another: Rape wasn’t always a crime in the Middle East two thousand years ago. Is that why ‘do not rape’ is not part of the Ten Commandments? Is personhood and the notion of a collective human spirit timeless? And be very careful when you answer that.

            6) The model for our ceaseless experimentation and innovation is none other than those six days that God spent creating the Earth. Just as He happily crafted in his heavenly workshop, today’s engineers and scientists tinker away in their labs in an awkward attempt to mimic such inexplicable ingenuity.

            Let me ask you another question here: If humans declared fire to be a miracle thousands of years ago, would we still be huddling together in caves while we wait for God to fire another lightning bolt into the forest? Hmm…

            7) Our ideal of a “family” would be void and procreation would be nothing more than an accidental byproduct of rape in the bitter landscape of nihilism that atheists cherish so deeply.

            So are you stating that without God, people are incapable of love? I know many atheists who love their families and friends. Do you love people who aren’t Christian? Maybe you’re breeding the hate?

            8) From the Constitution to the Bill of Rights, from our sacred patriotism to our modern system of Government, every significant element of the United States is drawn directly from Biblical wisdom. Our founding documents are a veritable cheat sheet of Christ’s teachings.

            So you forgot that the settlers left Europe in search for freedom from religion and oppression?

            9) Christianity’s emphasis on the human and the humane stands in stark contrast to the exotic pantheons of vengeful gods that one finds in Hinduism, Buddhism, Islam and the many other false religions.

            So we’re pretending that the Crusades, the Spanish Inquisition, etc. never happened? OK. Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

            10) If Darwin’s controversial anti-God concepts were actually true, one would expect humans to have sprouted wings and flippers, X-ray visions and the power to fry whole chickens with our telepathic brains!

            Haha! Wouldn’t that be awesome. I want to fry chickens with my brain. But, alas, no – that is not one of the things I’m waiting for. You’re essentially saying that evolution doesn’t happen. So, I suppose the fact that we adapt to our environment by changing skin and hair colors is just a fluke. The fact that there are entire species out there who have never met Jesus and continue to thrive for thousands of years — what about them? What about the fact that in the last 100 years, we have come further than the last 2,000 combined? Is that not evolution? It must be God’s plan I suppose.

            11) Humans live in perpetual crisis between the forces of good and evil. Take away the love of righteousness and the fear of eternal punishment, and we may well devolve into utter chaos.

            Wait a minute – so, if an atheist does something nice for someone, without fear or eternal retribution, does that make him a better person than you because he’s doing it out of the good of his heart, whereas you’re doing it to defy eternal damnation, and from a completely selfish place?

            12) Children are blank canvases awaiting the brushstrokes of a parent’s faith. Take away the wisdom of our elders and what becomes of the next generation? One need only look at today’s worst teen trends to get a clue. Drugs, hardcore sexual perversion and the most disgusting of acts of cultural “creativity” await. Would it surprise you to learn that these are the very industries that most atheists are heavily invested in?

            A mass murderer can go to heaven for accepting your religion, while a kind doctor goes to hell for not? No to mention all of these priests with guaranteed passes to Heaven – they’re going to have a ball with all these young boys up there. Yes, perversion is certainly a very Christian entity.

            13) They love to believe that it’s a statistical probability that life exists somewhere out there in the billions upon billions of planets in the universe. They believe this, well because… math! But if such a nihilistic, cruelly calculated theory of a Godless existence were true, wouldn’t it also follow that little green aliens are real? What’s preventing them from invading our planet and harvesting our organs!

            So you’re assuming a few things here: a) If an alien race exists, that it is advanced enough to travel here, and b) is intent on invasion of our planet and c) of our organs. Let’s say we found a planet with life on it. If we sent you there, that’s exactly what you’d do – you’d take a peaceful community and rip it apart based on your beliefs, create secularism, and destroy any good that was left in it..

            14) Here’s an ontological conundrum for you theologians out there. If God did not exist, what would prevent Satan from inflicting an apocalypse upon the Earth?

            Simple answer: Satan doesn’t exist either, expect in the cavernous, lonely, and empty space between your ears.

            15) Furthermore, if God never existed, the concept of denying him would never have been created. Thus the very existence of atheism– and all it’s decadent and disastrous attempts to destroy humanity– only underscore the great truth of God’s very being.

            Whoa there, hoss. God only exists because people ask unanswerable questions. Where do we go when we die? Where did this all come from? Who am I in the grand scheme of things? From this came two schools of thought: 1) There is an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient being who must play us as marionettes, and 2) we’re all the effect of a large scale chemical reaction.

            Believe what you will, but ostracizing those who believe differently only makes you an intolerant, confused man.

            Let me ask you a few questions now, and let’s see what your responses are like:

            If someone promised you eternal life, the protection of a loving super being, a feeling of moral righteousness, a purpose for living, answers to all the big questions, and a rule book for achieving the pinnacle of human potential… and all in exchange for having faith in something that wasn’t proven, would you be suspicious?

            If God gave a man cancer, and the Devil cured him to subvert God’s plan, how would you know it wasn’t a divine miracle? What if he was an unkind, atheist, homosexual?

            If children are likely to believe in Santa Claus and fairies, does this explain why religion has been taught in schools for thousands of years?

            If religious people don’t respect their children’s right to pick their own religion at a time when they’re able to make that decision, how can society expect religious people to respect anyone’s right to freedom of religion?

            An all-knowing God can read your mind, so why does he require you to demonstrate your faith by worshiping him?

            If God is all-knowing, why do holy books describe him as surprised or angered by the actions of humans? He should have known what was going to happen.

            An all-knowing God knows who will ultimately reject him. Why does God create people who he knows will end up in hell?

            If God is all knowing, then why did he make humans in the knowledge that he’d eventually have to send Jesus to his death?

            Why did a supposedly omnipotent god take six days to create the universe, and why did he require rest on the seventh day?

            Is omnipotence necessary to create our universe when a larger, denser universe would have required more power?

            Thanks for playing. I’ll never be back to read your responses, should you choose to actually respond. Have fun living your pitiful life.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            I am quite impressed with your writing skills and your mind does seem sharp enough that it embraces some depths and crannies of philosophy, but I find it all a bit sad that you have that talent and yet you’ve devoted your life to emptiness and hate. You clearly are an intelligent and capable person, why do you want to destroy the goodness of the world? It’s just a shame you couldn’t put your abilities to better use.

          • SomeDaysIWonder

            So you just beat around the bush and never answer the question posed to you? i would love to see your “proof” that your god exists. All you did in your response is ridicule someone’s beliefs! Now I_AM_JESUS_CHRIST seemed to tear down everything that you have said and you just seem to call into question his ability to reason?
            Red herring on your part sir…. >.<

          • Stephenson_Billings

            Oh so now the real truth comes out. You’re just arrogant. I’m sorry pal but I’m not a DJ at your local disco and I don’t take requests! Do you think I have nothing better to do all day than to play 20 questions with some teenager? If you are confounded by your atheism then face facts and accept that you’re wrong. Don’t complain to me.

          • Drei Drei PhD (DJ’ing)

            These are not requests. It’s a discussion related to the claims you’re making in your article. You sir are either a troll or have been huffing aerosol all day.

            P.S. Nobody would let you DJ at my local disco… your music taste are probably as dull as your debate skills ;)

          • Sam Thomas

            Why not answer the questions? They are worded in a way that clearly shows his intelligence, while you seem to ignore them, calling him a teenager. You, sir, are an idiot. I’m afraid you’re just as likely to go to hell as any atheist.

          • Roberta Carrillo Z.

            “Do you think I have nothing better to do all day than to play 20 questions with some teenager?” says the pseudo-journalist while doing nothing but playing 20 questions all day about his sad unfounded article with some teenagers

          • HeadacheBecauseOfTheStupid

            Just saying it does not make it so.

      • Urbane_Gorilla

        OK.. So point to my ‘idiocy’..explain what you mean by red herring..It doesn’t seem to relate to what normal people accept as the definition and finally, explain how I’m a pervert?

        • Stephenson_Billings

          Militant Atheism tends to attract people so burdened by their lusts and failures that they need an excuse to deny God. It makes me wonder what you’re hiding up your pant leg.

          • Trevor

            Which is why only like 7% of the prison population are atheists. Wonder what the other 93 percent are? Certainly not criminals trying to ease a guilty conscience right?

          • Stephenson_Billings

            FALSE

          • Trevor

            You’re right, it’s around 11 percent, my bad. Christians still makes up around 67% though.

            http://www.pewforum.org/Social-Welfare/prison-chaplains-perspectives.aspx

          • sad_foryou

            I am a 20-year old female that volunteers at the local humane society while looking for a job in a college town. I keep a clean home. I pay my rent and bills on time. I greet people kindly, I’m polite, I say please and thank you to anyone who does anything for me – even those who just hold a door open. I try to stay healthy. I bake my own bread. I do my homework and I study hard, I don’t drink or do drugs, even though the culture is everywhere, seeing as I’m on the west coast. And I am an atheist. And you try to tell me that I am a bad human being? That I’m filled with hate? I am hiding nothing. Besides the fact that your article is full of fallacies, you are telling me that I am hateful and wrong when it is you yourself that is filled with hate. Atheism is as real as it gets. And it is gaining momentum.

          • Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick

            Have something for gorillas, do we?

    • sarcasticBabyeater

      wasn’t hitler a chirstian? he sent men to serch for the holy graal

      • Urbane_Gorilla

        I believe Hitler was a Christian of some sort (probably Protestant if he was raised in Austria) and i do recall reading that at an early age he considered going into the priesthood. I suspect that all the talk about him (and Naziism) being atheist is just war based propaganda to stir up hate against him…Kind of like what we did with Kim Jong Il (He loved porn and drank gallons of expensive scotch)..or what we’re doing with the NSA leaker, Snowden right now (self-agrandizing high school drop out, into kinky sex.) We like to do that. As to his searching for the Holy Grail, Nazis had some occult issues going on, but aside from a nice plot line for Steven Spielberg’s “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” ..it’s doubtful that a society so immersed in everything scientific (coal gassification, V-bombs and even the atomic bomb) would have taken it that seriously.

    • Atheism is not a sin

      Ironically, Hitler was Christian. How many holy wars were fought so that good people would die again? I rest my case. Debate me, if you dare. (props to urban gorilla)

  • hessian72

    Poe’s law in effect

    • Ben

      These comments are Poe’s apocalypse. It’s breathtaking.

  • ToddlerBBQ

    I think this is supposed to be a joke.

  • me

    A lot of these are “I’m not comfortable with the truth and therefore this is wrong”
    And the rest are just misunderstood science and logic

  • joe blow

    This shit is hilarious, thanks for the laugh.

  • JZHarmony

    lololololololol

  • Cletus flinch

    I told you all.

    This is truly the end for the America that GOD gave us.

    Now the homosexual agenda has reached Obama (OSAMA) and they are conspiring with the lizard people to overthrow us TRUE GOD loving Americans.

    This is what happens when we elect a black devil worshiping president.

    GOD bless the REAL America

    • David

      Thanks, Obama.

    • domin8r

      The lizard people? Have the aliens actually landed already? Damn, I miss everything…

    • Avengeme

      lol…this is the second time I’ve heard this lizard people shit spouted by religious people. Though doesn’t the very fact that you think lizard people exist by your own logic provide proof for atheism by the authors point #13? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

      Science. Bitch.

      • Jonathan Vlietstra

        Apparently some people decide they need ALL the crazy. He probably believes homeopathy works too, reads his horoscope daily and calls a psychic when he needs to know his future.

  • Mark

    Do PhD’s come in Cracker Jack boxes these days?

    • Sebine

      Actually, I got mine in a cereal box

      Best box of Cheerios I ever bought

    • domin8r

      Maybe he’s a doctor, just like Dr. Dre is a doctor ;)

  • sarcasticBabyeater

    this site is hillarous; i hope it’s fake like christwhire

  • Obo

    Wow I just cant tell if this is really well done Trolling or the ranting of a Mad man with a shit education. Only a person so blinded by his divot religious views would say so many stupid thing.

  • Michael

    If god exists, why doesn’t he heal amputees?

    • domin8r

      If god exists, why does he create amputees ;)

  • salvagesalvage

    John Malkovich? What’s he ever done to be on that list?

    Transformers: Dark of the Moon

    Oh.

    Right.

  • HeTouchesMe

    They’ll let any idiot be a doctor these days… Stick to the birthday parties bud, I’m guessing the kids in your audiences are already brainwashed beyond repair.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      The children love my parties!

      • ex-christian

        Wow, did you get your degree from a mail-in correspondence course. Haha, you have got to be one of the least intelligent people I have ever heard or read. Oh and good job dodging the questions presented to you by I_Am_Jesus_Christ, but I understand, you simply dont have enough time to, right? and yet you have enough time to keep putting up comments that lack substance, including time to write a comment that you have no time to answer an obviously intelligent person’s questions, why, because of his age? Let it be known if you have intelligent thoughts and ideas it only counts if you are past your teenage years. The real reason why you do not answer ANY of the questions posed to you is because you can’t. We all know you are full of BS, even you know it, which is why you refuse to answer any of the questions. At the end of the day you are just a man filled with hate (and half a brain-if even that). I truly feel sorry for you that these are your actual beliefs. I also know that you are incapable of changing your views, and never expect you to, and that makes me pity you more. Your hatred has kept you from thinking clearly and because of that we get byproducts such as your lovely fictional article. I will say it was a pretty entertaining read, so thank you for that. but otherwise I cant help but pity you. Oh and by the way, when you die nothing happens :)

        • Stephenson_Billings

          “I truly feel sorry for you that these are your actual beliefs. I also
          know that you are incapable of changing your views, and never expect you
          to, and that makes me pity you more.”

      • Exercisethedemons

        I bet they do…?

  • hardcoreSkeptic

    I don’t know, your arguments seem a
    little hard to swallow. Do you have research to back up all the
    assertions you proposed above? I seem to remember that Jim Jones was building a better Christian society, and I’m just not sure about your claims regarding “vampire” teens on pot – I see a lot of teenagers about, they do not shy away from the sun.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      It’s a rather well known fact in academic circles that Jim Jones was an ardent atheist who simply used religion as a cover for his mental illness. Viz:

      “Jim Jones drew people into atheism through the People’s Temple, largely based in California. He said that he “took the church and used the church to bring people to atheism”. In 1978, 909 people at the restricted communist “sanctuary” he presided over in Jonestown, Guyana, committed “revolutionary suicide” at his command. This occurred after the arrival of an American delegation, which he claimed was conspiring against the People’s Temple. Men, women and children took a vial of cyanide and died within five minutes. Only a few people escaped. This event was the largest single loss of American civilian life, in a non-natural disaster, up until 9/11. This entry has the unique status of being on both the atheism and Christianity list. The reason is that the majority of people considered Jones to be the leader of a type of Christian cult, but, as the quote above illustrates, it was really a ruse to attract people who would otherwise have steered well clear of him.”

      http://listverse.com/2010/06/05/10-people-who-give-atheism-a-bad-name/

  • Nope

    The only thing this article proves is that you poses absolutely zero understanding of morality, atheism, or science.

  • vfranklyn

    Wow. Number 7. So I guess my atheist husband and I don’t love each other or our beautiful daughter. Riiiiiiight.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Are you absolutely sure your husband is an atheist? He may be hiding his faith from you since you’re so aggressive about this.

  • atxjoe

    I’m a believer. But for many years I was not. I have a problem with your arguments against non-belief in God, because you assert that God exists beyond the limit of our scientific understanding. Hundreds of years ago this was a relatively more easy argument to make because we humans understood so little of science. In our modern age, however, that argument relegates God to a marginal time before the big bang. Your modern argument goes something like this: “You atheists who depend on science believe that all matter comes from the big bang, and before the big bang there was nothing. But science tells us something can’t come from nothing. That’s where God is.” See your argument # 1 above.

    But that means that every time science moves human understanding forward God gets pushed further to the back. God is marginalized into the ever smaller spaces that extend beyond human understanding. In the last few years Hawking, among others, has advanced a theory on particle physics that explains how something does in fact spontaneously spring out of nothingness. That in fact the universe we know can spring into existence without the help of God. So where does God live in your argument once he isn’t needed for the big bang?

    I believe in God for reasons wholly unsatisfactory to my scientific self. But it doesn’t make the belief any less real. Your article above doesn’t advance the cause of Christianity. If anything it gives fodder for atheists to pick at and allows them to feel more secure in their own non-belief. You can’t argue for God using science, that isn’t where she lives.

  • Drew

    Sweet, when I talk to a “radical” atheists, I get to sleep with Richard Dawkins! And what is this about rape being supreme if Atheist was more accepted, doesn’t the bible say when a man rape’s a woman he is suppose to marry her as punishment? The bible shows many ways to regulate slavery and rape, and how to stone children. And unfortunately these things would exist without Atheism or religion, because it’s actually human nature.

  • inerwebuser

    i think i just got stupider from reading this

  • Sam Thomas

    From the man that brought you:
    Why Are Radical Homosexuals Hoarding Our Nation’s Jockstraps?
    and Are Militant Atheists Using Chemtrails to Poison the Angels in Heaven?

  • phast

    This is so funny. Passing on. “Homosexual Gangs of Pot Addicted “Vampire” Teens”. That is so awesome.

  • Everyone

    Kill yourself.

  • Ellis Palamino

    Thanks for this Dr. Billings. I think point #1 really sums it up quite well, “QED: God”. If these ignorant, hateful atheists would just pull their heads out of their asses, they might have an opportunity to observe the magnificent intelligence that is clearly evident in the design of our universe. It’s refreshing to read the perspective of a Dr who hasn’t been indoctrinated by the secular left’s “scientific” brainwashing attacks against faith. Scientists these days take their cues from liberally compromised college institutions instead of the tried and true path of biblical science guided by God.

    A history lesson for the naysayers:

    Copernicus was a faithful Christian that discovered biblical truth through faith.

    Galileo was also a notable Christian scientist that didn’t allow his pursuit of science to interfere with divine truth.

    Let’s not forget Johannes Kepler, the genius and faithful mathematician who was able to eke out a deep mathematical understanding of His intricate work.

    And then of course, Einstein who was far from a perfect Christian, but he openly recognized that the universe just didn’t make sense without a creator. I bet all these Atheists fancy themselves as brighter than Einstein however… typical of liberal arrogance.

    I applaud you for having the courage to stand up to secular atheist agitators. Thanks!

    • Stephenson_Billings

      My heart just skipped a beat! You are AMAZING!

  • Terrence

    14 was really important. I mean. Why didn’t we think of that? Wait, never mind. I think it has to do with the fact that the general consensus is that Satan is also regarded as a fictional character … such an assault on beliefs of others with such irrational nonsense ‘logic’ is exactly why

    • Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick

      Exactly. God and Satan are mutually exclusive.

      The fact that he would say something like this completely invalidates the rest of his argument (not that it needed much help).

      This has confirmed to me that this entire site is a giant troll, and DSB is doing a fantastic job at it! So many butthurt people everywhere…

  • Terrence

    Sorry, cut off the end of the last one. Articles like this are why people like this hold almost no credibility. There is no valid reasoning at all. So much of it is not only illogical, but demonstrated false.

  • Don’tcare

    “Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer” Sounds like a cover up for Closeted Pedophile. You should probably be ashamed for breaking the one rule most Christians forget
    Judge not, that ye be not judged. Thank you and HAVE a nice day!

    • Stephenson_Billings

      I work in the Auguste Method and people truly adore my work. Your petty assaults can’t take that away from me.

      Also, you obviously don’t comprehend that there’s more to the Bible than Mathew 7:1.

  • monkeyboyslam

    so is this a joke? surely this is a comedy sketch? … are people really like that?…

    1. There is far more evidence to support the big bang than a man in the sky , also if he is omnipotent why did it take 6 days ? and why did he need to rest ?

    2. There is so much evidence evolution its actually overwhelming and the fact that you can witness it real-time also helps

    3. see point 2

    4. wow, really? there are actually a lot of meteor sites on earth, but … wow… really ?

    5. 5000 years? … really ? I suppose 10000 year old tools and bones are some hoax?

    6. Actually Christianity has stalled human technological development by centuries, mostly because of wars and ignorant persecution of other cultures.

    7. Love between a priest and a child maybe

    8. wow…just wow

    9. see point 6

    10. humans are much larger now than they were even 100 years ago, we are getting smarter every generation … some of us anyway.

    11 . hmm, because Christians don’t rape ?

    12. hardcore sexual perversion and the most disgusting of acts of cultural “creativity” await ?? have you guys not seen what the church has done to children ??

    13. you’re an idiot

    14. what if neither of them exist

    15. you’re an idiot

    • Stephenson_Billings

      FALSE

  • domin8r

    Haha this is a great joke.. nicely done! *tips hat*

  • Mark Kosberg

    Hitler was a Christian, fyi

  • Mark Kosberg

    I refuse to believe this is a real site. This is like the Onion

  • Matt

    Homosexual Gangs of Pot Addicted Vampire Teens? really dude?

    And #14 if god didn’t exist neither would your Satan.

    But more importantly “How can something come from nothing?” what created your God?

    one final thing to leave you with, why do you consider your God a man? I never really understood this, if there is only one god and there are NO OTHERS then this God of yours doesn’t procreate and since your god doesn’t do this by any means and Male/Female are designations we place on SEXUALLY REPRODUCTIVE SPECIES then your one God can be NEITHER male NOR Female your god is an IT.

  • Darsha

    Have you ever seen a happy atheist? Nope, not going to happen. These people are so bitter. They are always looking to fight and want to spend all day lecturing you about there ideas. Sorry, I might have some issues with religion but the Atheists are all just crappy loud people. Why do they need to spend all the time shouting at other people telling Christians that there rights are better than ours? Why are they the just kids and other idiots?

  • Avengeme

    This is satire right? People aren’t actually this stupid?

  • Dr. Arthur Bacon Plimpton

    This is one of the most compelling arguments against leftwing atheism I have ever read. We really should be paying more attention to these people gathering their forces together here in America. Everything about them has been foretold in Leviticus, Mathew and Thessalonians.

    • Faustinah Santiago

      Sorry, kids, your fiction, that is the whole basis of evil in the world, is disappearing at an alarming rate. Thank goodness. Everyone is born an atheist. If you don’t believe this, you are brainwashed.

      • Stephenson_Billings

        “But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.” -Revelation 21:8.

        • Faustinah Santiago

          Really? A bible verse? Those don’t work on me. Hahahaha.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Well said and God bless you today, my friend.

  • Faustinah Santiago

    That was hilarious. Is this real or like one of those joke sites?

  • Murph

    Anyone else think its strange that this big atheist trend has started just when Obummer got into office? These people were always weirdos before that now celebrities and all those other idiots are claiming to be atheist like its the cool trend to be on right now. Next it will probably be pedofilia and then some other weird shit.

  • Hail Satan

    You really are the biggest Spastic i have ever encountered.
    Your facts are all wrong.
    And I bet your so self absorbed in your own ‘ideals’ that you look for the bible in the Factual section of the library, where instead you most likely will find it next to the MR MEN books…… Dick head

    • Stephenson_Billings

      You screen name says everything about your agenda you freak.

  • Whatishappeninghere

    Hitler was a Christian. Yes, of course a very twisted version of Christian. My point is, he was not an atheist.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Sorry but you are simply an idiot. Hitler did not espouse modern Christianity in any way. He may have given the church lip service, but to his core he was a nihilist and a Nietzschean so please, stop with the socialist propaganda and read some truth.
      Atheism, not religion, is the real force behind the mass murders of history
      http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/1121/p09s01-coop.html

  • Cory

    I had to see for myself what you had to say about atheism’s supposed “beliefs”. What I saw was one of the most bafflingly stupid articles I’ve ever seen on the internet, and that is a feat! Here is my response in the shortest possible way I can put it.

    1) First of all, it makes no sense to think of a time before the Big Bang, since time also began at that moment. Disregarding that, the answer is simple: we don’t know. We don’t know what came before that. That’s the difference between honest people and religious people. We admit we don’t have all the answers, while you and your fellow Christians all say that you know with 100% certainty that “Gawd dun it!”

    2) Abiogenesis, which has been proven to be possible. Next!

    3) Interbreeding with what? Animals? There may be some sick freaks out there that do that, but since when does society endorse it? Besides, have you never read a biology textbook? Breeding like that doesn’t work. It creates infertile offspring.

    4) Jesus and his asteroid shield? Really? This is so unbelievably retarded that it doesn’t deserve a real response.

    5) We’ve been around much longer than 5,000 years. Also, the Bible didn’t emerge until around 1700 years ago, so either way your argument falls apart.

    6) You talk about how humanity progresses, but during our history at every turn, religion is holding back progress. We don’t even have to look that far back to see it. Just look at what religious influence did to stem cell research, which has the potential to save millions of lives.

    7) If you think that love means “worship me or suffer forever”, then you have a lot to learn about love.

    8) Although the Declaration of Independence mentioned “Nature’s God” and the “Creator,” the Constitution made no reference to a divine being, Christian or otherwise, and the First Amendment explicitly forbid the establishment of any official church or creed.

    9) 97% of the Academy of Science is made up of atheists. You’re an idiot.

    10) You clearly have no understanding of evolution. Even if you completely disregard evolution, so what? That has nothing to do with atheism.

    11) So you’re saying that without the fear of eternal torture, you’d simply murder whomever you please? That doesn’t say much about your morals. If you have to be offered a reward for good deeds or threatened with punishments for evil deeds, then doing good no longer means anything. You are being selfish. Personally, I like doing good deeds because I like the idea that I helped to make the world a better place even the tiniest bit, and I don’t need or want the promise of Heaven to do it.

    12) We know now that human beings are not blanks slates to be formed entirely by upbringing and environment, but that their genetic predispositions account for a large portion of why they are the way they are. A child born into this world with a sharply analytical mind is no more likely to grow up to believe in the miracle of Christ’s resurrection then he is to grow up to believe in the Easter Bunny. On the other hand, a child born with dull wits and a conformist mentality is very likely to embrace religious ideas.

    13) Are you for real? How can someone even come up with such an argument? How old are you, young man?

    14) Atheists don’t believe in God or Satan or the Tooth Fairy for that matter. You are so incredibly stupid.

    15) Wow! That’s some powerful stupid. Let me ask you: do you believe in Allah? If not, then does that prove that Allah is real? Simply mentioning a God doesn’t make him real. Atheism exists because there are a group of people who reject ALL of the gods that humanity has dreamed up over the millennia. You are an atheist in respect to all of those other gods. We just go one god further.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      You’re an ignorant bigot with a whole look of book nonsense and so little common sense. I feel sorry for you.

  • Tusher Abtahee

    I think everyone should just calm down and wait until I take over the Universe so I can tell you what to believe in.

  • Stuart Gairns

    Hitler was a Catholic… What’s your point “Dr”?

    Also, “Hitler” was as far as I read.

  • malkia

    Land Over Baptist Church Approves This Message! Amen Brothers! (Shhh sisters…)

  • curious

    just 2 questions for you mr. smart calling him self Dr.

    how god been created ?
    why pedophile priests are something what god let happen ?

    thanks

  • Man

    Good God!

  • Corey Firepony

    Right…my thought is you’re talking shite. Complete and utter drivel. Bullocks. Making a complete arse of yourself here…

  • war_blur

    “Vigilantes organize to boycott Christianfood franchises for exercising their right to free speech. ”

    please go look at Coke’s facebook page, to see assholes wanting to boycott a company for exercising its “free speech.”

  • mrwho

    So is harddawn.com like The Onion then? Hard to tell, poe’s law and all, but this can’t be real.

  • kvonm

    yup… layer upon layer upon layer of utter stupidity and ridiculousness. just without the intelligent satire to go along with it.

  • Jason

    I’m lost, is this satire? Most of these claims have been refuted. The names in the image regarding “radical Atheism” are mostly religious (Napoleon, deist), qualify as mentally ill (Stalin), think they were a prophet or even god themselves (Jones), or were politically motivated (Kaczynski).

  • Dustin Green

    “My feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fighter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded by a few followers, recognized these Jews for what they were and summoned men to fight against them and who, God’s truth! was greatest not as a sufferer but as a fighter. In boundless love as a Christian and as a man I read through the passage which tells us how the Lord at last rose in His might and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple the brood of vipers and adders.

    How terrific was His fight for the world against the Jewish poison. To-day, after two thousand years, with deepest emotion I recognize more profoundly than ever before the fact that it was for this that He had to shed His blood upon the Cross. As a Christian I have no duty to allow my self to be cheated, but I have the duty to be a fighter for truth and justice… And if there is anything which could demonstrate that we are acting rightly it is the distress that daily grows. For as a Christian I have also a duty to my own people.”

    SOURCE: Adolf Hitler, in a speech on 12 April 1922 (Norman H. Baynes, ed. The Speeches of Adolf Hitler, April 1922-August 1939, Vol. 1 of 2, pp. 19-20, Oxford University Press, 1942)

  • Urbane_Gorilla

    Thanks for that. Very interesting indeed.

  • JRAE

    I’ll just leave a few Hitler quotes here for review: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Adolf_Hitler's_religious_views

  • MrMick

    The premise of Atheism is there is no god/gods .. that’s it.

    Look it up! that is absolute definition.

    What some Atheists and Theists believe how things were created is irrlevent.

  • Your God is BITCHMADE

    What kind of absolute brainless oaf would actually attribute any kind of validity to this feed? Seriously. Way to be a brainwashed imbecilic dipshit. Leave it to Sheople to be the only species on the planet that gets upset when someone else points out that their “Shepard” manufactures MINT FUCKING JELLY and calls you a liar when there’s clearly a vat of jelly and a nice roasting pit behind them.

    Stupid fucks.

  • Martyn Griffith

    seeing john malkovich’s name on that poster made me piss myself laughing!

  • slappywpg

    Is this parody? I can’t tell anymore.

  • Will Marsh

    But atheism is only a lack of belief in god(s), and that lack of belief DOES exist as long as there are atheists, so atheism IS re…oh, never mind.

    • Kaylee-Aurora

      Atheists today is a life style choice and these people are all over Facebook and Twitter and out there on the streets attacking faith, trying to make it a felony to be a Christian. Now the gays are saying we can’t follow the Bible and we will be arrested if we don’t make cakes for the gay “weddings” in our churches. You think its just a lack of a idea? Atheism is much more. Honestly they are some of the worst people around.

  • pqbu2u

    Of course it’s satire, people! Get a grip! Why would anyone without tongue firmly implanted in cheek name their site so it sounds like an erection? Hard Dawn, indeed…

    • Kim Foley Hopp

      I just really want to know from what perspective? To work up liberals or see how many people repost it seriously or comment seriously. It would be more interesting if it were a Christian conservative making fun of liberals inability to see this as satire. Like he/she sits back with friends and says,”damn, these people really think the right is crazy and they are so damn gullible!!!!” If it is a liberal, I think it sort of makes it mean to play into liberals stereotypes of the right. It really makes liberals look sort of gullible and grasping. There us enough that is real!!! We don’t need made up shite. Do the same with real news stories! I think there us enough crazy out there!

  • Tom Funk

    Awesome article!!
    Although atheism is on the rise – mostly due to things like the scientific method, more readily available information and an improving system of education – it’s attempts like this to lash back at the eroding of religion that’s probably the most effective at helping people to understand how ludicrous religion in fact is. So I say keep up the good work, keep spewing it, atta boy!
    I somehow don’t think I’ll be hiring you for entertaining at a children’s party any time soon, though.

  • NJ

    LOLOLOL

  • Brad Mays

    This site is satire, folks. It’s all a joke. I can’t believe this actually needs to be pointed out. I’m only posting this as a test to see it all these idiotic comments are part of the joke.

  • Brad Mays

    Nope. The comments are real.

    • Kim Foley Hopp

      I think the liberal comments are real, but mist if the supporters are other writers on staff for the site.

  • Homo.atheist.enemy.of.freedom

    #4 … How has our Earth avoided a similar fate? Have we been spared by Divine fiat? …

    I can guarantee that no Atheist would argue that the earth has been spared meteorite bombardment due to “Divine fiat”.

    If this is satire it is genius! If not, I fear for my species.

  • GoJeebus!

    Oh wow. Sad. That’s what this is. It’s just sad..

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Thank you my friend. I believe it’s an emotional issue as well and sincerely pity the fool who falls into the “atheism” trap. God bless!

  • Kim Foley Hopp

    This site is like Onion, but with complete deadpan! If you read the articles, look at the writers profiles and how they comment you will see it. I still can’t figure out if they are conservative and are enjoying making fun of liberals who get outraged by it or liberals seeing how many people either a) just repost headlines b) really believe this insanity. If you read the entire articles there are always a few lines that give it away.

    • Kim Foley Hopp

      I think this person just likes fucking with liberals. It is funny.

  • Jesus is the Devil

    This is a parody right? please some one tell me this is a genius parody.

  • Mirko

    HAHAHAHAHA. This is hilarious. Finally, a site with better jokes than the Onion. Oh wait….it’s serious? Surely not. No one would make the mistake of not realising that the moon doesn’t have an atmosphere and therefore has more meteorite impact sites. And that despite the earth’s atmosphere, it still has countless impact sites. Any one with a high school education would realise that. Oh wait. Maybe these people are completely mis-educated and believe all of these heavily flawed propositions. That is scary. What else might they believe if they believe this? They would be highly suggestible and easy to take advantage of. It’s funny then that the aetheists don’t take advantage of them, and that the only ones take advantage of anyone… are these very people writing for this site, misinforming the lesser informed. That is very sad.

  • Sarcastic Atheist

    I saved this article in my computer so every time I’m having a bad day, I come here to have a good laugh.