Homosexual Privilege: Unpacking the Sweaty Lavender Fanny Pack

Posted on by Stephenson Billings

homosexualprivilege“I was taught to see radical homosexuality as an individual’s moral failure, not as an availability cascade systemically afflicting the invisible morphology that catalyzed the United States to its dominance of exceptionalism.”

Inspired by Peggy Macintosh, I wanted to identify some of the most shocking but unspoken ways that degenerate sexuality empowers radical entitlement in America. I have chosen those conditions that attach more to sodomy-based privilege than to political party affiliation, socialist sympathies, ethnic status or urban location, though of course all these other factors are inexplicably intertwined. My straight coworkers, friends, relatives and acquaintances cannot count on any of the special privileges that the homosexual enjoys each day. As someone who defines himself as white, male and 200% heterosexual, the list below details why people like me are the victims of discrimination at every level of contemporary society.


1. The homosexual can, if he wishes, arrange an anonymous sexual encounter within minutes of logging onto any internet service.

2. He can avoid spending time with Christians, despite the fact that America is a Christian nation founded on Christian principles.

3. If he should need to move, he can be pretty sure of finding a gay lifestyle ghetto in every major American city.

4. He can be pretty sure that one of his neighbors in such a location will be available for “no strings attached” anal sex and might even offer him illegal hard drugs.

5. He can go shopping and flaunt his sexual condition at any store, because homosexuals hold a monopoly on the retail industry.

6. He can turn on the television or open the front page of the paper and feel like a martyr at any time since the liberal media promotes the Gay Agenda as heroic and inevitable.

7. When he is told about gay “culture,” he is shown positive images of the lifestyle, without any mention of the crystal meth, gerbil abuse or feces consumption so common behind the scenes.

8. He can be sure that his younger relatives will think his homosexuality is “cool” and “rebellious” because primetime television portrays it as such.

9. He can openly explore fisting, cross-dressing, anal bleaching, exhibitionism and erotic urination and not be labeled a total freak by his peers.

10. He can be pretty sure of having his voice heard in a group of people if he is sarcastic and shrill enough.

11. He can be casually rude and disingenuous to his elders and, when they confront him about it, he can discredit their opinion by calling them “homophobes.”

12. He can walk into an upscale disco, supermarket or hair salon and find an erotic homosexual sex partner in every major city in America.

13. He can expect special privileges based on his sexual condition at select bars, restaurants and “bathhouses” where the clientele also shares his sodomite proclivities.

14. He can claim spaces intended for heterosexual families (such as public restrooms and nature parks) and use them as degenerate homosexual sex cruising grounds.

15. He does not have to educate himself on the Bible or the Constitution, because his college professors told him they were written by bigots and oppressors.

From literature to music and television, homosexuals have held American culture hostage for decades.

From literature to music and television, homosexuals have held American culture hostage for decades.

16. He can adopt children, despite the fact that homosexuals have been historically recognized by authorities as dangerous sexual predators.

17. He can talk loudly about his genitalia and people will allow it because they fear the fascism of political correctness.

18. He can be sloppy, promiscuous and drunk and not have his life failures blamed on the shocking permissiveness that defines the radical homosexual subculture.

19. He can masturbate without guilt or fear.

20. He can rely on Wall Street and the rest of corporate America to support the Gay Agenda with special privileges and protections, despite the fact that these efforts are undermining the basic fairness of capitalism.

21. He can force Christian businesses, such as florists and cake designers, to succumb to his flamboyant whims even though such acts violate their Constitutionally-protected Freedom of Religion and the true Biblical Laws of God.

22. He can remain completely oblivious to the Love of Jesus without feeling any shame or disgust from his peers.

23. He can criticize our government and talk about how much he suffers as a minority despite the fact that gays actually control the political elite.

24. He can take advantage of Federally-imposed “Affirmative Action” policies, even if he is white, wealthy and a graduate of the most elite schools in the country.

25. He can be sure that the Democrat Party will support the most disturbing elements of the Gay Agenda, as long as they conform to broader socialist goals.

26. If a traffic cop pulls him over or if the IRS audits his tax return, he can be comforted by the fact that prison is an erogenous bonanza for homosexuals.

27. Through blackmail, political correctness, special interest pressure groups and illicit campaign contributions, he can be sure that elite homosexuals will maintain a stranglehold on the American political system for years to come.

28. He can be sure that a democrat president will use his position to promote the homosexual lifestyle on a global scale, disregarding the faith and sovereignty of foreign nations.

29. He can use his position as a public school teacher, law enforcement officer or other type of government employee to openly recruit children into the homosexual lifestyle, thus insuring that the Gay Agenda continues to afflict another generation.

30. He can take comfort in the fact that his dedication to painful sodomy only hastens the End Times and Satan’s rule on Earth through his agency, the United Nations, thereby guaranteeing all homosexuals an eternity of the pain they finds so sexually invigorating.