Why Is Homosexual America Having a Mustache Moment?

Posted on by Stephenson Billings
The gays

Sexual extremists have weaponized facial hair for nonstop action in America’s culture wars.

The gays are hungry.

Not satisfied with assaulting marriage or invading our military, they’ve launched a new campaign to destroy another fabled American institution: the heterosexual mustache.

Facial hair has been a symbol of raw masculinity in this nation since the frontier days. It represents strength, sweat and power. It’s the ultimate cry of freedom. And the ladies surely appreciate the extra tickle!

But in the hands of the Radical Gay Agenda, the old fashioned mustache becomes yet another wrench of seduction in their toolkit of hardcore homosexual desire.

A ‘stache can be a thick and lustrous ornament to a leatherman’s salacious scowl. It can be a wisp of rebellion above a young man’s enticing smile. For the artist, it’s says he’s into bearskin rugs and roaring fires, fornicating in the woods behind a trucker’s rest stop or just smoking “Mary” in the back of a Trader Joe’s parking lot.

In the secret homosexual underworld, the mustache reeks of danger. It’s a smoky whisper of “There’s a party on my face and you’re invited.” Few resist its filthy, filthy outlaw charms.

This is a move torn straight from the puppet masters’ playbook. Something above the pay grade of the CIA or the Federal Reserve. It’s on the level of Illuminati “culture jamming,” a cruel attempt to insert one’s extremist ideology in the mass media to promote confusion and, ultimately, socialism.

Sex-crazed Stalin himself attempted to claim the mustache as an icon of communism. But despite decades of warfare, his battle was for naught. America, in the 1970s and 80s, witnessed an amazing resurgence of musk and virility. That impressive specimen, the Western man, made his comeback! And with him galloped that dear friend, a glorious upper lip of patriotic hair! We grew our mustaches proud and wide! Hats off to you, President Reagan!

This certainly begs the question, will the homosexual element win?

A street warrior of elicit homosexual desire.

A street warrior of elicit homosexual desire.

If the so-called “manwhore” movement continues to explode, we are in for a grave challenge.

According to the experts, the gay manwhore specializes in the most obscure and offensive forms of carnal fornication. Many utilize their facial hair to erotically engage their partner’s buttocks. They literally bury much of their face in there and rummage around, howling like a junkyard mutt! All this is done for the crude excitement of their partners, whom they most likely just met minutes before in a dive bar toilet. On the front, the mustache helps titillate the shaft in delirious ways. Countless web videos attest to this abomination.

The greasy gay mustache also comes in handy when “threesomes” have “make out” parties in the dark corners of disco dance floors. This is the dirty dystopia deviants dream about, my friends!

As we look out on our country and contemplate the devastation that the hardcore homosexual mustache trend has caused our families, it’s important to remember that information never quite means what we think it means.

The media has contorted the message, refracted it through the lens of the New World Order operating systems to illuminate prisms of corporate disinformation on our slimy dungeon walls. At the core of every notion, every meme, every social fad, is the contradiction of that thing. Just as Original Sin signals humanity on its path to eternal redemption, so might the homosexual mustache lay out a path to a return to true American masculinity.

Should we, then, all start wearing extremist gay mustaches as a way to let the Super Homosexual Illuminati know we can’t be intimidated by nonstop sodomy?

Or is that suggestion itself just another extraterrestrial disruption of Jesus’ truth?

  • Blanche Beecham

    Homosexual radicals have really tried to take every aspect of straight maleness and make into some gay statement. I know a lady that is about my age that was searching for a mid-century modern doodad or tchotchke that would be appropriate for a bedside table. She made a visit to our town’s little antique district and began searching, after a breakfast of dry toast and boilled egg with a cup of the best cold press coffee. Anyway, she had her smaller, more modest pocketbook so vendors would not “mark” her as wealthy and try to take monetary advantage of her delight in some trinket. Every small box she longingly picked up was touted as a receptacle for condoms! These gay careless shop clerks would just laugh and laugh, while her face burned with shame and embarrassment.

  • Centipedes4Christ

    The thought of those guys with their bushy mustaches just stuffing there face up there on another guy all bent over in his birthday syit just makes me outraged. What has America come to?

  • Greg Polkosnik

    That reminds me . . . it’s Movember!

  • Michael Castro

    We’ve been having one since 1972!!! Where have you been?


    If gay men in the LGBT community have a large penis moment instead of having a
    mustache moment and provide large penises and the glory holes for the large penis moment,
    this size queen will provide his mouth for free anonymous fellatio at the glory holes.


      ” So long as we have enough people
      in this country willing to
      fight for their rights,
      we’ll be called a democracy.”

      ACLU Founder

      Roger Baldwin


    If gay men in the LGBT community change their minds about having a mustache moment
    and have decided to have a glory hole month once a year instead of having a mustache moment
    I will be waiting for a gay man on the other side of the glory hole during glory hole month
    once a year as long as the gay man on the other side of the glory hole is well endowed.