The gays are hungry.
Not satisfied with assaulting marriage or invading our military, they’ve launched a new campaign to destroy another fabled American institution: the heterosexual mustache.
Facial hair has been a symbol of raw masculinity in this nation since the frontier days. It represents strength, sweat and power. It’s the ultimate cry of freedom. And the ladies surely appreciate the extra tickle!
But in the hands of the Radical Gay Agenda, the old fashioned mustache becomes yet another wrench of seduction in their toolkit of hardcore homosexual desire.
A ‘stache can be a thick and lustrous ornament to a leatherman’s salacious scowl. It can be a wisp of rebellion above a young man’s enticing smile. For the artist, it’s says he’s into bearskin rugs and roaring fires, fornicating in the woods behind a trucker’s rest stop or just smoking “Mary” in the back of a Trader Joe’s parking lot.
In the secret homosexual underworld, the mustache reeks of danger. It’s a smoky whisper of “There’s a party on my face and you’re invited.” Few resist its filthy, filthy outlaw charms.
This is a move torn straight from the puppet masters’ playbook. Something above the pay grade of the CIA or the Federal Reserve. It’s on the level of Illuminati “culture jamming,” a cruel attempt to insert one’s extremist ideology in the mass media to promote confusion and, ultimately, socialism.
Sex-crazed Stalin himself attempted to claim the mustache as an icon of communism. But despite decades of warfare, his battle was for naught. America, in the 1970s and 80s, witnessed an amazing resurgence of musk and virility. That impressive specimen, the Western man, made his comeback! And with him galloped that dear friend, a glorious upper lip of patriotic hair! We grew our mustaches proud and wide! Hats off to you, President Reagan!
This certainly begs the question, will the homosexual element win?
If the so-called “manwhore” movement continues to explode, we are in for a grave challenge.
According to the experts, the gay manwhore specializes in the most obscure and offensive forms of carnal fornication. Many utilize their facial hair to erotically engage their partner’s buttocks. They literally bury much of their face in there and rummage around, howling like a junkyard mutt! All this is done for the crude excitement of their partners, whom they most likely just met minutes before in a dive bar toilet. On the front, the mustache helps titillate the shaft in delirious ways. Countless web videos attest to this abomination.
The greasy gay mustache also comes in handy when “threesomes” have “make out” parties in the dark corners of disco dance floors. This is the dirty dystopia deviants dream about, my friends!
As we look out on our country and contemplate the devastation that the hardcore homosexual mustache trend has caused our families, it’s important to remember that information never quite means what we think it means.
The media has contorted the message, refracted it through the lens of the New World Order operating systems to illuminate prisms of corporate disinformation on our slimy dungeon walls. At the core of every notion, every meme, every social fad, is the contradiction of that thing. Just as Original Sin signals humanity on its path to eternal redemption, so might the homosexual mustache lay out a path to a return to true American masculinity.
Should we, then, all start wearing extremist gay mustaches as a way to let the Super Homosexual Illuminati know we can’t be intimidated by nonstop sodomy?
Or is that suggestion itself just another extraterrestrial disruption of Jesus’ truth?