CLAIM: Voting irregularities surfaced after the 2016 Presidential Election that raised suspicions about Hillary Clinton’s “support” among ordinary Americans. Upon investigation, credible research proved that tens of millions of illegal extraterrestrials criminally entered U.S. airspace to vote for the Democratic candidate in direct violation of Federal immigration laws and the United Nations Outer Space Treaty of 1967.
ORIGIN: Shortly after Donald J. Trump’s stunning victory, the President formed the Commission on Election Integrity to ensure that the voices of angry whites are not drowned out by political issues in the future. The commission discovered that most of those who voted for Clinton were actually against President Trump’s tax cuts for hedge fund managers, raising the question of how to suppress the non-white population if a national election were held in 2020.
Using crowd-sourced data, Trump’s National Security Advisors at 4Chan.org confirmed that the liberal media had covered up the widespread abductions of aliens by the Homosexual Agenda. Independent podcaster Stefan Molyneux linked this crisis to the Clinton Foundation, which was later supported by a joint RNC/Blackwater operation in Brooklyn, New York, that resulted in several weeks of Breitbart headlines about bearded elitist migrants and their love of latte. When President Trump saw these facts reported on Fox & Friends, he immediately Tweeted about it, thus prompting Alex Jones to look into John Podesta’s use of the word “potato” in leaked emails totally not hacked by the FSB. The repeated references to the starchy tuber were code for “extraterrestrial voter fraud,” according to a series of questions posted by “Q Anon” and circulated on Reddit. With this shocking evidence in hand, brawny Sean Hannity of Hannity! — the top-rated Fox News variety program that Rupert Murdoch continues to finance despite rumors that Sean supplied Bill O’Reilly’s loofahs in the NewsCorp saunas back in the rapey Ailes days — announced that the FBI was reopening its case against Hillary Clinton for thrusting her pastel pantsuits on an unwitting nation even before FBI Director Christopher Wray had ever heard of the issue. Wray paused the criminal investigation the next day, however, when President Trump mysteriously muttered the word “blackie” during a press conference with House Speaker Paul Ryan, prompting CNN to demand Senate hearings on the matter after the website USAmericanPatriot.ru arranged a rally of gun owners in support of the beloved American slur in beautiful Leith, North Dakota.
REBUTTAL: While the actual number of interdimensional aliens who have invaded America varies according to the source, it can not be not said that tens of millions and possibly 69 million of these slimy shape-shifting socialists voted for Hillary Clinton’s failed 2016 campaign. Therefore, this statement is considered “Moistly True” by the fact checking team at HardDawn.com and its minders on loan from the John Birch Society.
CONCLUSION: When we discount all those who illegally or mistakenly cast a ballot for the wrong candidate in 2016, it appears that Donald J. Trump won a nearly unanimous electoral victory with 99.999% percent of the coveted angry white male vote, an impressive fact that financial industry lobbyists hope will keep the President distracted every ten minutes or so (just like the DJIA!) so the Cabinet can look for new ways to profit off their imploding departments before the coming financial collapse turns the United States into a Mad-Maxian hellscape where homosexual aliens offer the only chance of escape before the serfs rise up to cannibalize the deliciously dank ranks of the 1%.