Hurricane Matthew devastates Florida, but somehow spares Donald Trump’s sumptuous Palm Beach palace. A massive gale disrupts shipping lines in Southern Russia, threatening their economy. Humidity makes the summer of 2016 the worst on record for the industrial belt in the United States. Rising sea levels doom naval bases in Siberia’s Laptev Sea.
When did the world’s weather become so political?
As Hillary orders NATO to perform exercises on Russia’s border, President Vladimir Putins orders the families of all embassy officials to return to the homeland. 40 million civilians train for nuclear holocaust in military training maneuvers. Clinton herself moves billions from Wall Street to a secret account in Qatar. Using Congressional committees, Bernie Sanders wrestles control of HAARP in the waning days of Obama’s presidency. The dark suddenly starts getting darker and our local weather goes haywire.
The evidence is clear: War is happening, sheeple!
Every cloud, every raindrop has been weaponized in Hillary Clinton’s secret offensive against freedom. Feel that cold or damp down your spine? That’s the liberals assaulting Democracy! The coming snowstorms, that just may be Putin’s retaliation for the leftists stealing this election. We need to wake up to the real subtext of our weather reports.
Yet something bigger is happening here. Is the weather relevant any longer now that we have the internet? Is Hillary fighting a war using last decade’s military tactics?
Donald Trump has opened up an entirely new battlefield. He’s awoken us to the power of the web to shape and define us. It is the greatest realm of freedom today. Yes, the democrats will realize this in time and come for our keyboards. They’re already censoring Google and Facebook, suppressing any trend that threaten the fascist oligarchs!
But Trump Nation is smarter and quicker! They can’t find us everywhere online. In fact, we are thriving. And despite, and maybe because of all this terrible weather, we are committing more and more time to Trump’s internet. Forging new friendships, exposing new conspiracies, waking more sheeple up!