Beware the Hidden Psychological Dangers of Restaurant Salads

Posted on by Doc Bacon

The rise of restaurant salads has gone hand and hand with violent extremism on the left.

Is there anything more outlandish than the restaurant salad?

These glitzy monstrosities mock you into spending everything in your wallet.

And when they arrive at the table, you’re forced to stuff your face like some farm animal, mashing your molars in an exhausting spectacle that snubs out what little dignity you have left in your final dimming years.

No, this “green” agenda has gone too far!

It’s part and parcel of the mania for radical liberalism that has taken over our daily lives. For the socialist, it’s not enough to tax us into oblivion and let boys with shaggy beards run half naked in the streets. Now they’re up in our personal business, trying to decide what’s best for OUR health!

In Canada, they started with big salads on their menus and ended up with a communist health care system that would make Chairman Mao blush. Europe has the same problem, but with sexual deviance. They say there’s now more than a dozen ways you can penetrate a Frenchman.

Restaurant salads are just the latest battleground we need to prepare for. And it’s only going to get much worse now that President Trump has taken aim at the elites who enslave us.

Today’s mixed greens are often very large and intimidating. You think you’re getting a little plate but then it comes and you must make a try at it, lest you be humiliated in front of your dining companions, even if it ruins your appetite for the meat course. The cattle industry says this is an unfair competitive practice but you won’t hear any hollering from those lettuce growers in California!

All this isn’t just some crazy coincidence. In fact, the dissemination of extremist salad propaganda came about right at the same time as Hillary Clinton’s tenure in the White House and became even more horrific when she was in Obama’s government. (No surprise these activists “legalized” hardcore marijuana that same moment, too!)

Hillary Clinton has Deep State ties to salad propagandists in California and China.

This is how the New World Order gets recruits, folks. They weaken our defenses and destroy our home lives so their globalist socialism can come marching in.

Even McDonald’s is playing this dark and dangerous game!

On the salad front, they want to erode old-fashioned family values. These big leafy meals are psychological warfare, telling us that traditional meats are inadequate, weak and possibly even criminal. The salad invites terror in older Americans. It challenges our digestive tracts, which makes us less apt to engage in the conservative political process. Just like with the Illuminati’s Russia Hoax narrative, the restaurant salad is pure distraction.

Many restaurant salads are simply too colorful. They add fruit and all these weird leaves that no one really wants. Is there a single person in Trump Nation who actually likes “radicchio”? Bullcrap! Stupid outrageous liberal bullcrap! Yes, I said it! And “frise” is just torture for the roof of my mouth, like you’re tied up in some muddy river fishing net with the Vietcong fast approaching and there will never be enough white wine to dull that pain!!! Are you starting to see that this whole conspiracy is little more than Hillary’s ominous internationalism in a leafy disguise?

Worst of all, the latest trend is that these fancy waiters top off your salads with more hot oil than a Thai massage parlor.

Sorry comrade, there’s no happy ending when it comes to this demented dietary dreck!

About This Journalist

Dr. Arthur Bacon Plimpton, DDS and BOHDSc, is a retired physician who spent decades fighting on the frontlines of America’s healthcare fiasco. Today, he uses his journalism to inoculate citizens against our nation’s pandemic of socialism, scientism and sexual perversion.

  • Blanche Beecham

    Tossed salad is not allowed at my dinner table.