The call came early. My dear friend Peter. He only made it through a few sentences before drowning in wave upon wave of pathetic sobs. “The activists at the Supreme Court did it…” he was saying, “homosexual unions legalized…”
It struck my marriage like a lightening bolt. A blinding flash of confusion and then a thunderous bang of doubt, fear and horror. I was standing in the front parlor and the room began to spin. Everything my wife and I had built together was suddenly at grave risk.
I tried to rally some optimism, but the Hummels in the walnut hutch glanced at me pitifully. Our new curtains, the flat screen television. All gifts in honor of a holy matrimony. I looked to the hand-tooled chartreuse leather wedding album on the coffee table. Mother had spent weeks crocheting the snowflake doily beneath it herself, and even though the pattern was slightly askew and it had a garish fluorescent pearl cotton, I adored the precious thing.
All that was crumbling in my trembling hands…
Biblical marriage has been the foundation of civilization for 6,000 incredible years of human history. For the last year of my life, it has been the bedrock of my spiritual strength and sense of self-worth. It has helped me grasp the full weight of my manhood.
When I look in the mirror, I know that I am an American man, a righteous man. I am not afraid to cry out that I am heterosexual! I am not afraid to cry out that I love the United States of America! Yes, I own a gun and a pickup truck and the Stars and Stripes fly proudly on my front lawn. Do you have a problem with that?
In high school, I was a star athlete on the football team. Our sweat-drenched competitions, the joviality of the locker room, the raw smell of my brothers in arms, these things always made me proud to be a straight man.
Later, as a bachelor with an ever-curious mind, I commanded myself to stay pure. I poured my energies into my family and my faith. Mother found me quite the nag always at her side in those days! Through the church, I discovered my true calling as a journalist whose mission was to expose evil in our midst. Often I explored the darkest depths of radical homosexuality, from the filthiest big city alleyways to the most treacherous highway rest stops, from the illicit corners of Craigslist to the newest cellphone sex cruising applications, I was there to bear witness to the sins facing our young men today!
Marriage to my strong, solid wife made me a gentler person. I no longer felt such a passionate desire to chase down every bud of degeneracy springing in the garden of democracy. The pleasures of domestic life were my comfort. I loved my new velour desk chair! Spiritual, Biblical traditional marriage was truly the cure for my restless soul.
In the back of my mind, I still did worry about the gays, though. I worried about what they were doing in the dead of night, grinding and conspiring against America. I’ve set up Google alerts and have browser windows full of research on the topic. I knew homosexuals could be anywhere. Maybe right outside my home… And then the sun rose on that fateful day, June 26, 2015…
Yes, the Supreme Court essentially flung my front door wide open and let the militant homosexuals march right in. They came tearing about with their demands for special rights and privileges. They stomped on two of my dearest possessions, Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion. Next, cherished memories were thrown on the floor. Photos of Mother, of my wife, of my high school football days, all crushed. God Himself had been exiled from my home by their shrill cries. All those glorious things that knitted my life so intricately together were obliterated under that ghastly sexual parade. I was left with walls spray-painted with their angry graffiti of sodomy, sodomy, sodomy!
When the wife walked in, I clicked as rapidly as I could to close a dozen of those wretched browser windows but it was too late. She could see I was profoundly shaken…
We once had an inalienable right to be heterosexual in this country. Now that’s in doubt. I realize I am no longer “normal” in this “new” America.
Maybe marriage is just some federally-sanctioned financial arrangement. Maybe it is simply a means to claim joint custody of an exhaustively curated Hummel collection. Maybe it’s just a way to pay the chiropractor using the wife’s health insurance. When I think of two hairy-chested, muscular, leather clad men bound together in matrimony, my own union just feels tawdry and cheap.
In our glory days, heterosexuals stood for something in this sacred land. We were American. Our ancestors founded this country. Their descendants fought wars to make us strong. Our parents defined our culture, our patriotism. We, sons of Reagan, inherited something immensely beautiful. Freedom, justice, wisdom, vision… We were the envy of the world in those years!
Now the social fabric of this nation is a thing of the past. The gays have yanked so many threads that the United States is just a nasty tatter. It’s an ugly, fluid-stained blanket reeking of musk and vice. We don’t represent strength to the lesser peoples of the planet. We no longer symbolize infinite justice in the Middle East. We have been emasculated in the international media. The American Man has become the laughingstock of the world. Obama isn’t afraid to scream out that we are a weak, indolent people. I can only imagine how this emboldens all the Vladimir Putins out there. Could this lead to war? Are our borders under imminent threat? Now that God Himself has forsaken us, anything is possible.
On a personal level, I feel they’re laughing at me, too. They’re all laughing at me! What does my heterosexuality even mean anymore? What about my patriotism and my God? Christians won’t even be allowed to define “average” in this country from this day forward.
I liked being average! It was important to me! We were safe being average. I don’t know how my marriage can possibly survive this. I wish I were brave enough to face the reality of nationalized homosexuality, but I feel so dejected and forlorn, exasperated and melancholy. Mother will be absolutely devastated when I confess my fears. Maybe that’s selfish of me. I should be worrying about how this nation can survive homosexual marriage. How can the Christian faith in America continue? And without America, can Christianity itself endure? If gay marriage ultimately succeeds in crucifying Christ a second time, we have no one but Barack Obama, the socialist agenda, radical liberalism, lesbians, Islam, atheism and sodomy to blame.