Donald Trump’s bold promise to “drain the swamp” of corruption and foreign influence continues to steamroll through the halls of power in Washington, D.C.
On special orders of the President, investigators are now following up on a shocking news report that dissident leader Elizabeth Warren has covert ties to the renegade nation of Canada.
One source inside the Federal Bureau of Investigation has revealed to this reporter that the agency is focusing on an undisclosed relative in the Ontario region.
Warren, an aggressively agitated foe of President Donald J. Trump, has been vocal in her support of terrorism.
In the recent debate surrounding the President’s Muslim ban, the Massachusetts Senator was caught on tape condemning the action as unlawful and divisive. She has called for open borders with suspect nations and may even have received illicit financing from some of them, including Canada.
It’s unclear if “Aunt Bessie,” as the woman has been codenamed by a joint terrorism taskforce, acts as a conduit for violent revolution between Canadian Premier Justin Trudeau and Senator Warren, but the FBI is certainly now on heightened alert.
In a confidential dossier circulated among journalists and Congressional leaders, it was noted that:
[Terror mastermind Warren] has used her access to sensitive government data to influence public policy and promote a dangerous pro-Canadian agenda of modern day socialism. From anti-banking laws to consumer “protection,” Warren has committed herself to undermining our nation’s vital corporate profits.
The Trump Administration was quick to condemn the leaked intelligence on the Democratic demagogue.
“If Warren has nothing to hide, as she’s claimed in the past, then why is she hiding this aunt in Canada?” National Security Advisor Steve Bannon asked in an exclusive interview with Brietbart News this week. “It certainly undermines her advocacy against the White House if she’s secretly tied to a rogue nation with financial interests in seeing America fail.”
“Should Canada continue to threaten our northern border by cozying up to the Democrats,” Bannon warned, “we may have to invoke that grand old military doctrine of Lebensraum,” referring to the traditional German phrase for “breathing room” as popularized three quarters of a century ago.
Reached by phone, a woman who fit the description of “Aunt Bessie” politely denied any interest in American politics. When pressed, however, the retiree did confess an admiration for socialized health care and, most alarming to national security analysts, profound regret that the Toronto Maple Leafs traded Tuukka Rask to the Bruins back in ’06.