Could a “National Marijuana Offenders Registry” Solve America’s Teen Drug Crisis?

Posted on by Doc Bacon

potsmokerThey’re here. They’re all around. Anonymous and indistinguishable from your average Joe. They’re your local marijuana addicts and they’re waiting for just the right moment to pounce on your children.

Drug abuse doesn’t just happen to a teen without cause and strategy. There’s a plan, a gruesome endgame conceived by the diseased brain of the pot smoker. Once he becomes an addict he needs to pass that infection along to next naïve, innocent soul who crosses his path. Today he may have set his sights on your family. Does your kid have enough money in his pockets to pay for the reefer fiend’s next fix? Just hope that this shocking scenario doesn’t end in violence… Yes, this is the social epidemic of marijuana abuse and it threatens the lives of every teen in America.

Television programs like “Weeds” and “Breaking Bad” glamorize marijuana smoking, but for many families drug addiction is no laughing matter. Pot, quite simply, ruins lives. It drives our children into high-risk behaviors. It lessens their willingness to engage in sports, schoolwork and their faith communities. Depression and violence, unusual sexual practices and alarming personal beliefs are all associated with hardcore narcotics abuse. Is it any wonder that so many reckless young people embrace the radical liberalism of Barack Hussein Obama?

To truly face this crisis, we need extraordinary measures. We may not be able to defeat the Latino drug cartels or stop the inner city ethnic “gang bangers” for their sickness is beyond a cure. But at home, in our own communities, we can be proactive. We live in a nation that takes pride in the transparency of its public records. We live in a nation at the forefront of the internet age. Why not combine the two to come up with an incredible solution to the pot problem?

Sex offender registries were considered a novel approach to law enforcement a decade back. Today, they’re an essential tool for families all across the nation. Literally millions of children have been saved by a simple database of police records. With a few keystrokes, we can identify which of our neighbors has committed a heinous act, whether it be violent rape, child molestation, sodomy or bestiality. We can read criminal histories and see mug shot photos. Thus informed, We the People can voice our outrage, and force these people far, far away from our children. Why not do the same with marijuana users?


A young woman after too much marijuana.

It’s not known how many convicted marijuana felons are living amongst us, but recidivism amongst addicts is astonishingly high. These are people who threaten, steal and even trade their bodies for a hit of the grungy, skanky cannabis plant. Dosed high on the drug, they become notoriously unhinged and prone to the most outrageous acts. With no inhibitions, they readily embrace bizarre sexual antics, daredevil road races, pyromania and suicidal stunts.

Don’t let the media’s depiction of the comically awkward “stoner” fool you. These are seething, lecherous, heinous people, possessed by a demon so profound it is beyond explanation. Are they delighting in the destruction of their brain cells? Is their affront to decency and the law a “turn on” for the sex-crazed amongst them? Or, by rejecting the love of their families and the faith of their God, are they simply exhibiting the purest form of evil? We may never really know why the weed freak does what he does, but the devastation he leaves in his wake is evidence enough.

The number of lives that potentially could be saved by a “Marijuana Offenders Registry” is incalculable. With just a few clicks, we could list the dangerous narcotic users in our midst. We would know instantly what sort of evil hides just around the corner in the creepy smiles of our dope-using neighbors, forever lurking in darkness with the fiery “blunts” of Mexican cannabis. No longer would our communities be threatened by the fast-paced college kid crowd, offering “mind-blowing kicks” and late night rides to our young girls (and boys). Indeed, the peculiar overlap with the hardcore homosexual element is an aspect that should not be overlooked and consequently, the number of those people preying on our teens would be necessarily reduced.

With such a registry, boys with names like Carlos and Jamal who loiter outside our high schools with their tattoos and bandanas and gold-plated teeth could be banished forever. And finally, this knowledge of criminality would be a devastating blow to the future of liberalism for once these people are exposed as the pariahs and welfare leeches that they are, their credibility in our political discourse drops to zero.

Does a Marijuana Offenders Registry have its drawbacks? Many will point out that it does not go far enough. Indeed, first time pot offenders are sometimes not charged with a crime. We do not yet make public those who fail drug tests at work, at our schools and in our military (despite the fact that these people are indeed committing a crime). In these cases, one could counter that once the Registry is established, it’s only a matter of time before all records of weed usage are gathered in one place and made accessible to normal Americans. There’s always a risk that rebellious teens could access such information for sexual “hook-ups” and pot deals, but vigilant parenting is the key here. Ultimately, this is an idea whose time has come.


About This Journalist

Dr. Arthur Bacon Plimpton, DDS and BOHDSc, is a retired physician who spent decades fighting on the frontlines of America’s healthcare fiasco. Today, he uses his journalism to inoculate citizens against our nation’s pandemic of socialism, scientism and sexual perversion.