Stressed out on the job? Overworked at home? Are the obligations of kids and in-laws driving you crazy? These are just a few of the reasons why intimacy can suffer in a marriage. Scientific studies show that husband-wife teams are copulating dramatically less than their counterparts 50 years ago.
Now we can add environmental factors to the long list of problems frustrating the healthy exercise of the libido. It is estimated that nearly 67% of the human population is currently being exposed to harmful manmade contaminants, whether they be from genetically-modified foods, water fluoridation and even atmospheric geoengineering.
One of the most controversial aspects of atmospheric manipulation is done by airplanes through controlled spraying over population centers. These toxins are known as chemtrails, and can cause a wide variety of symptoms. While the exact chemical make-up of chemtrails is up for debate, many doctors have noticed a dramatic increase in skin rashes, lethargy and decreased sexual activity in their patients.
For patients who are particularly tuned in to the chemtrail crisis, the anxiety that results from this knowledge can also contribute to erectile dysfunction. This is often compounded by an unhealthful diet of sweets and carbs. Excessive masturbation is yet another problematic facet of the chemtrail aware. Taken altogether, this poses unique problems for young couples today.
TEN SIMPLE TIPS TO GET YOUR LOVE LIFE BACK ON TRACK
1. Put onions in your socks overnight to remove body toxins.
2. Avoid outdoor exposure to heavy chemtrail spray areas, such as airports and major cities.
3. Keep away from felines, as they may contain contaminants similar to chemtrails.
4. Try intimacy in a below ground space, such as a basement, where chemtrail particulate matter levels are far lower.
5. Refrain from masturbation and fatty foods.
6. Spray vingear on your bedsheets and rub the phallus with peeled garlic cloves.
8. Join a Facebook group! Every little bit of outrage helps and together we can STOP the chemtrail crisis!
9. Be honest and vocal about your chemtrail status! And ask that your partner be the same!
10. Speciality shops will soon be offering custom-made outerwear specifically calibrated to protect you from the deadly effects of geoengineering so stay tuned!
Chemtrails are an incredibly vile conspiracy to weaken the human race from within. This fits into the larger New World Order goal of depopulating our planet to make room for the 1% and/or an extraterrestrial species. The information we share with you today is secret knowledge because the global elite will fight very hard to suppress this truth. We can fight back by sharing these insights far and wide and letting the Illuminati know we are not going to be bullied by their chemtrails!