Are Militant Atheists Using Chemtrails to Poison the Angels in Heaven?

Posted on Jul 8, 2013 - 8:09pm by Stephenson Billings

ddtspraychemtrailsWith the scourges of typhus, malaria and dengue fever raging through communities in the 1940s, the United States government did a curious thing. They loaded up airplanes with the chemical DDT and commenced aerial spraying to wipe out the insects spreading these diseases. At first, the technology behind such dispersals was crude, but over time it became sophisticated and efficient. This public usage of DDT, both in the air and on the streets of our cities, continued into the 1950s. In the 1960s, sky dusting advanced considerably. The chief reason was the widespread use of Agent LNX (“Agent Orange”) during the war in Vietnam. Agent Orange was employed as an herbicide and defoliant meant to reduce the agricultural resources of the communist Vietnamese. As we know today, both DDT and Agent Orange had devastating affects on human populations.

For those of us who grew up in farming communities, this technology is not an abstract concept. Crop dusting is a common site in rural America. It’s an essential way to spread seed and pesticide. We encounter it often in the planting season. Many other Americans unwittingly witness a very different application of the idea of crop dusting on a nearly daily basis. This is known as “chemtrails.”

Chemtrails are the aerial spraying trails left by large aircraft, both commercial and federal, that are not associated with farming. Millions of images of these sky dispersals can be found on the internet. You will see thick plumes of dense whiteness ejected from the backs of jetliners with purposeful squirts. They are not continuous, but rather sporadic when planes reach a particular altitude. When such substances are released, they become hyper-heated in the atmosphere to attain a canopy-like distribution above targeted regions. Leaked images of these chemical containers in the bodies of large-sized aircraft regularly surface on the internet, underscoring the veracity of these claims.

The American public has never quite grasped the purpose of all this spraying. Officials in the Obama administration have long refused to even talk about these efforts, though some have suggested that super spy Edward Snowden may leak details of this widespread project if forced against the wall by the international community. As we have seen with other government programs, the ultimate result here is not likely to be a beneficial one.

Barrels of unknown chemicals are stored in the body of a "chemtrails" plane.

Barrels of unknown chemicals are stored in the body of a “chemtrails” plane.

In various online communities there has been vigorous debate about what chemtrails actually mean. Some believe they spread barium as a highly-sensitive electromagnetic missile defense system. Others postulate they contain compounds that attack our blood cells and ultimately reduce populations, much like the fluoridation of our water supplies. The rise in disease and other unexplained medical phenomena does strangely coincide with the popularization of chemtrails.

Yet another theory that has been gaining traction and deserves serious consideration is that America’s massive science-industrial complex is attempting a most dangerous experiment. Since Lyndon Johnson’s presidency, we have seen a grave movement towards science-based strategic thinking in all forms of national policy. Whole swathes of government have been taken over by academic PhDs with an intense obsession with scientism. From the National Science Board to the Department of Education, from NASA to the National Institute of Standards, a powerful cadre of elite intellectuals is seizing control. A common thread amongst these activist bureaucrats is a love of science over God.

Links to Radical Atheist Movement

President George W. Bush famously fought against the scientists entrenched in his administration. At many points they promoted evolution “theory” and “global warming” over good old-fashioned common sense. They tried to uproot Christianity in our schools through activist judges. And while President Bush fought the good fight, he ultimately did not win the battle. The long line of anti-theists ruling the inner halls of power since Lyndon Johnson remained in control.

So what is at the heart of this secret society of globalist atheism? One of their most significant concerns is the power of Faith. They despise the Glory of Jesus and the hope that He brings to countless Americans. The atheists are so insanely dedicated to their obscene cult they will try just about anything to destroy every remnant of Christian Love on this earth. As this sickening obsession was wed to advances in aerial spraying technology in the last century, one can surmise the evil compound that resulted. In this formula, it seems quite logical that the atheist’s next step would be to attempt the widespread murder of Jesus’s very Heavenly Agents of Love.

Angels. They are much more than a Christian bedtime story. They are much more than the sweet flutterings in the ears of believers. Angels are quite literally the factory workers of faith. They are tireless and everywhere. They accomplish innumerable feats, from minor pangs of guilt to the throbbing passions of love. The angels are there to guide us, to inspire us and, ultimately, to remind us of our obligation to Jesus. The fly through the air at His beckoning. They are gentle and ever willing. We would be far less human and humane were it not for the angels. And that is exactly why atheists fear the power of angels.

The top secret "EROS" government facility, where data of the efficacy of chemtrails is gathered.

The top secret “EROS” government facility, where data of the efficacy of chemtrails is gathered by atheist scientists.

Atheists shake with contempt at the thought of love and decency. Their whole lives are dedicated to nothingness, to the gaping void of pain that nihilism defines. Indeed, atheists love pain. They love pain in their sexual rituals, in their drug addictions and in their secret globalist power schemes. Why do we have war? It’s the atheists who spread contempt of God and invite such reckless notions of communism and Islam.

Will Atheistic Science Annihilate Love and Prayer?

As secret atheist scientists in government pursue their goals of undermining Jesus in America, it only stands to reason that they would take their battle to the skies. The aerial dogfight is likely a vicious one. Who knows what advances they have made since the days of DDT and Agent Orange. Yet fight on they do, every single day! Our heavens are coated in a thick aerosol haze of spiritual hate and this nation’s faith is sinking.

In our lifetime, the United States has been bombarded by supposedly “natural” disasters and terrorist attacks. Religion is at an all time low, while sodomy and perversion are at epic heights. Clearly the overlap of these symptoms with the widespread usage of chemtrails is more than just a coincidence. Clearly the astonishing rise of militant atheism in America must factor in. So what is the ultimate answer to the mystery of the chemtrails? Have Heaven’s angels forsaken us for such an offensive maneuver? Or are they actually losing, dying off in plumes of jetliner butchery? Surely America’s atheists in the great halls of government are asking these very same questions.

 

About This Journalist

Dr. Stephenson Billings is an award-winning Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!

  • Kaylee-Aurora

    Pretty much predictable for Obama and his team. The guy has no love for our values and our faith.

    • Foxxblood

      Yeah! fuck yeah! That Obama guy is certainly responsible for all the poisoned angels we see errr …….wait…………..

      • Jo Borras

        Ha! Good one.

        • Made up News

          why are atheist concerned with killing things they do not believe in, like Angels and or Heaven. or does Fox really understands their audience are gullible, hateful and still in shock that an African America is their President? get real people.

          • Gerald Terveen

            but we atheists believe in god and angels, didn’t you get the christian newsletter telling you the “truth”. we only decided that burning in hell is a much more interesting idea for how to spend eternity and because of that we are actively going after all that is good in the world.
            and the angels are only the beginning, next are the dragons, then the gnomes and finally we will kill santa clause. the christians will not know what hit them. ;)

          • Dir GuyJerry

            You sir are an evil genius!

          • Gerald Terveen

            I wish – but I got it all from christian sites educating atheists how to destroy christianity :D
            They are a gullible folks, spreading their own doom to able atheists :D

          • Red

            Don’t forget the Easter bunny!

    • Red Mann

      Even though he has expressed his Christian beliefs over and over again. Your ODS is showing.

      • Kaylee-Aurora

        What is that even supposed to mean?

        • Ned Carter

          I will go with Obama Denial Syndrome, where you call him faithless, when he is a Christian, you call him foreign when he is American, you call him illegitimate when the Supreme Court was not the one that decided his Presidency.

          • lee

            Obama is not a christian and he is Kenyan

          • flint2

            And all the folks who live in Chinatown aren’t American, they’re chinese.

          • Roy Blankenship

            Newsflash: Kenya was not even a country when he was born. After the break, we will talk about how Lee can’t figure out that Fox News is lying to him.

          • lee

            You must have pulled that out of your ass. LMAO, seriously? I don’t even watch Fox and in case you didn’t know, all mainstream media news outlets are liars

          • Roy Blankenship

            Really?Then stop repeating their talking points.

          • lee

            I’m not repeating any talking points. It is a fact that Obama never even talks about Christianity yet he talks alot about Islam. Obama even mocked the bible and Jesus, no real Christian would ever do that

          • Jan Civil

            That is a fact to you because you want to believe it really badly behind some idiotic and perverse drive you have. For people working within the confines of a little thing we call ‘reality’, it’s something else.

          • lee

            No it is a FACT and I live in reality, you don’t. I have seen Obama talk about Islam and how great it is many more times than he talks ablution Christianity and when he does talk about Christianity all he does is mock it and take bible verses completely out of context

          • boatkitten

            Oh no! You have just talked about Islam!

          • Jehn Hen

            It’s a fact that Lee talks more about Islam than he does about Christianity.

          • http://www.summerlambert.com Summer Lambert

            Source, please.

          • Dick

            A FACT is supported by evidence. You have none. Cite sources or GTFO you ignorant tool.

          • DMAC

            Are we really talking about facts? Here in the comments section of an article about poisoning angels??? hahahah

          • Micah

            I about pissed myself laughing at this comment.

          • Richard P. Weiss

            Aren’t angels already dead? How would one poison them? Why would atheists be concerned with beings they don’t believe to exist? What a completely idiotic article. This is the type of story that continues to give religion a bad name and total lack of credibility.

          • Nick

            It’s satire my friend. It was intended to make fun of the ludicrous conspiracies people pump out these days.

          • Susy Crandall

            Awwww, don’t be a spoiler!!

          • Richard P. Weiss

            Gets me every time! Thanks, Nick.

          • Chris Richardson

            Zombie Angels. Who said God doesn’t have a sense of humour. Have we got a cadaver we can sample, maybe find the parts per million these creatures were exposed to??

          • Carl Cocchiarella

            Well said

          • texasace00

            You are dumb as a fucking rock

          • dwb1957

            Lee has “No Connection To Reality Syndrome.”

          • Jerrett Hardin

            You know who else talked about Islam being great? George Washington, Benjamin Franklin and John Quincy Adams. They also said that America is not a Christian country. Even if he was Islamic that would have no bearing on his ability or qualifications to be president. Freedom of religion you moron.

          • Rodijah Peters

            Why does it matter to you so much if he is a Christian or a muslim? You obviously believe Muslims are evil doers! Go get yourself an unbiased education and give up your naive small minded points of view!

          • DreadMighty

            His perverse drive is the from the assault on his senses that all Black men aren’t smoking a newport, slapping they baby muva drinking a 40 in between puffs of crack in a housing project somewhere across the tracks.

          • Javafutter

            Here’s the truth lee:

            “My mother was one of the most spiritual people I knew, but she didn’t raise me in the church,” he said.

            What drew him to Christianity was “the precepts of Jesus Christ” which spoke to him in terms of the kind of life he would want to lead, he explained.

            Those precepts include “being my brothers’ and sisters’ keeper; treating others as they would treat me.”

            He continued, “I think also understanding that … Jesus Christ dying for my sins spoke to the humility that we all have to have as human beings – that we’re sinful and we’re flawed and we make mistakes; we achieve salvation through the grace of God.”

            In terms of how he’s living out his Christian faith, he said he strives and prays to “see God in other people” and “help them find their own grace.”

            “I think my public service is part of that effort to express my Christian faith,” he said.

            NOW: Show me where he mocks the bible and where he talks about Islam in a way that makes you believe the lies you are told and you believe.

          • Alex

            As a secular I have to congratulate your sense of kindness you are a good Christian my friend.

          • Roddy

            I love mocking that piece of shit Jesus and that fake Christian god. You have to have to shun any real education to believe anything that bibullshit book says.

          • Stef

            WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER WHAT HIS RELIGION IS OR ISN’T? why does that even an arguing point?

          • nrjk

            You, sir, might be retarded. Obama isn’t a Kenyan Muslim. Everyone knows he’s a Scientologist from the planet Z-236 and has been sent here to analyze Earth’s conditions for his people who will eventually take over.

            Furthermore, the reason he mocked the Bible and Jesus is because those are products of Satan to convince us that following a book and a dead guy around worshiping him actually gets us somewhere. Jesus and the Bible are made by Satan to distract humans from the real problems in life…like people not using their turn signals and driving slow in the fast lane.

          • Jehn Hen

            Can you link the articles where he ‘talks about Islam” or where he “mocked the Bible?” Have you seen this or been told this by someone else? Can you site a source or explain in what context he is ‘talking?” And Kenya wasn’t a country when Obama was born. That statement wasn’t crazy, it was true.

          • Dominique Storni

            lee… stop. really. please, stop. you just prove over and over and over, ad nauseam, how uninformed you really are.

          • Brad

            Even if that’s true who gives a shit.

          • Corey

            Maybe because in piblic affairs, Islam is more prevelant right now due to the war and the U.S. trying to form stronger public relations. So sorry your militant, oppressive belief’s aren’t the center of attention anymore. I guess the last 400+ years wasn’t enough attention.

          • Kelly Roberts

            While I agree with your sentiments, Christianity, in all its variations, has been the center of attention (not always in a good way)for far longer than four centuries. Its influence and attention grabbing ways have been at the core of a lot of negative (and some few positive) actions – aka sh!t – for far closer to four millennia than four centuries!!

          • Frederum

            Source please?

          • made up news

            no real Christian would promote lies nor hateful made up headlines….but we still waiting for you to make a valid point.

          • The Insane Atheist

            “no real Christian would promote lies nor hateful made up headlines” What about your bible?!? It’s hateful and made-up.

          • Chris Richardson

            Wasn’t there a commandment that had something about committing false-witness against others?? Study your own commandments and live by them. If you feel that strongly, then lead by example, not trying to tear others down.

          • Palmtreehugger

            That’s because the Bible is a half written book of fairy tails, Jesus was just a good man, and there is such thing as God or Santa Claus, Eater Bunny, tooth fair, etc. Grow up you ignorant idiots.

          • Odd Jørgensen

            Sweet mother of Jeebuz,that`s some atrocious garbling of the English language dude.

          • Mike Ex

            You morons always spout off about “Christians” as though you are just a monolithic happy cult, when the fact is Christianity is nothing but a cult that has fragmented into over 30,000 different sects, that for the most part talk every sermon about how the other sects are going to hell because of their particular interpretation of the bible. You aren’t a united front, so stop trying to foist that image on the rest of the world that knows the depths of your delusional thinking.

          • Chris Richardson

            Check your brain at the door. This is silliness.

          • Tex Bubba

            Wait a minute. I thought this guy had a brilliant sense of sarcasm. Now it seems he is genuinely 100% stupid. Kenya is 83% Christian. That’s more than the US which is only 73% Christian. Too many numbers for ya?

          • Michael Anderson

            I want you to go to Google, and search “no real Scotsman”, then realize that your whole life has been a delusion.

          • Red

            Mitt Romney, the cult member, got your vote in 2012, right?

          • Michael Anderson

            They all deny they worship Fox News. Idiots.

          • Javafutter

            Oh you don’t watch Fox? Then I’m sure Limbaugh is your man. Or how about millionaire Tony Perkins and his hate-filled organization Family Research Council‘s who in 2010 claimed that Uganda’s infamous “Kill The Gays” law merely was an effort “to uphold moral conduct that protects others.”

            One of these purveyors of hated and greed, the root of all evil, has fooled you and lied to you so they can collect more and more millions and live a life of luxury while their flock suffers.

          • DreadMighty

            Kenya became independent on 12 December 1963. Two years after Obama was born in Hawaii.

          • Chris Richardson

            Yes, but Kenya annexed Hawaii about that time, right? Must be true.

          • Dominique Storni

            Newsflash, lee… Fox … IS the mainstream media. Rupert Murdoch dictates daily Fox talking points. Do some research as to who Rupert is, how much of the “mainstream media” he owns, and how much he controls the narrative.

            Until you do that, nothing you say holds any weight.

          • Andy Keeping

            Fox’s average viewer age is 60+ Even if you considered this to be mainstream, it wont be for that much longer :P

          • made up news

            yet you believe the nonsense from somewhere

          • DreadMighty

            Although he’s gone to church since a child and was born in Honolulu. You do know that it was Clinton who “leaked” the possibility of BHO being born outside of the US? No, I didn’t think you did.

          • Jesse Redden

            Please provide a credible source for this information.

          • DreadMighty

            Be more specific…considering that all the proof has been provided since 2008 if you mean BHO, I’m not sure which fact youre willfully denying.

          • Jesse Redden

            Again, instead of pissing around please provide a credible source for you comment above.

          • DreadMighty

            Which would you like proof on? This isn’t class. If you have no bookstore utilize the internet. If you want definitive proof he was born in the United States, start with snopes. If you believe the internet compromised then you should probably take off your tin hat and realize that the conspiracy is too deep for you to fight and world domination is nigh.

          • Jesse Redden

            Tin foil; hat you ignorant cunt! On Clinton leaking anything all I can find is Hollywood gossip on what somebody claimed to overhear. http://www.wnd.com/2012/04/hollywood-producer-heard-bill-clinton-say-obama-ineligible/ mostly form right wing places. Do you have anything more legitimate than this or are you too busy with your head up your ass to recognize that it is in fact you who has taken gossip as fact. Pseudo sceptic twat.

          • DreadMighty

            Wel bruv, its not ‘hearsay”, but obviously the man was born in the US. because you “tin-foil hat you ignorant cunt”, because if he is part of a world-wide conspiracy to install a secret muslim commie in the white house, well he failed miserably with all the capitalism that spews forth and corporate welfare. Good job “exposing” me bruv.

          • job314

            of course, Kenyans CANNOT be Christian….

          • lee

            I never said Kenyans can’t be Christians you idiot

          • Lungs_of_Steel

            You aren’t too bright.

          • Paul

            He’s actually not Kenyan, but that aside, Approximately 70% of Kenyans are Christians!

          • Javafutter

            No he’s not. He’s an American citizen, born in Hawaii. He was raised in a Christian household by his grandparents (his birth father only spent a total of 10 days with him in his whole life) and he chose a life of devout Christianity.

            If you believe he’s a Kenyan, Muslim then the forces of greed–the root of all evil–have succeeded in appealing to your fears, your hatred and your bigotry.

            Besides, I never saw Reagan’s Birth certificate and he most certainly never went to Church. So prove to me Reagan was an American Christian.

          • Lee

            Hawaii is the only state in America where it it very easy to birth certificate for someone that wasn’t even born there.

            BHO was born in Kenya and raised in Indonesia and Hawaii

          • DreadMighty

            He was born in HI and no its no more hard to fake a BC there than NY. He has been to East Asia. If you believe so vehemently Hilary Clintons’ hilarious accusation of BHO being Kenyan so much, can we count on your vote for Hilary in ’16? And btw, if he were born in Kenya, how do you know it wasn’t on the US Consulate to Kenya medical center? That would still be US soil. The birther thing is almost as ridiculous as..oh wait no its probably the most rediculous

          • Stef

            Kenyan is not a religion first of all, you can still be a Christian if you are from Kenya or a current Kenyan, secondly who CARES what religion he is or isn’t?!

          • Cake

            The vast majority of Kenyans are Christian (83%), with 47.7% regarding themselves as Protestant and 23.5% as Roman Catholic of the Latin Rite.

          • Cat L

            Bulls**t. Debunked.

          • Jo Borras

            And YOU are a racist idiot- but who’s keeping score, amirite?

          • Cat L

            Did you know lee is eel spelled backwards, therefore you are an eel? Did you know that? Huh? Huh?

          • Made up News

            lol. and you are from HAiti and practice Voo Doo

          • Ivan Stavros

            Prove it.

          • Sound of Reason

            You can’t be both?
            Kenya is a place. Christianity is a belief.

            You’re an idiot.

          • Verisimilitude

            And what religion is “Kenyan” moron.

          • Tex Bubba

            Hahah! Best refute ever!

          • http://www.appsforyoursuccess.com Jeremy J Whaley

            Kenyans can be Christian.

          • Randy Brown

            Oh yeah… if your Kenyan there is no way you can be Christian… good point…

          • Your_Huckleberry

            No True Scotsman Fallacy

          • Rodijah Peters

            Get educated!

          • CORDoo_ni_CORDoo_Tu

            No he is not. I am Kenyan and your attempt to donate this guy to us is insulting and unacceptable.

          • Red

            Blah blah blah

          • Red

            Thank you Ned. Sad times when baseless conspiracy fantasies get more respect than facts. The dumbing down of America is in full swing.

        • Red Mann

          Ned got it right. It is a right wing response to anything about Obama. No matter what he says or does, it’s wrong, even if the right wing responses contradict themselves. The healthcare mandate was a right wing, Romney and Heritage Foundation were for it until Obama was, then they weren’t. Same as Cap and Trade. Whatever Obama’s for, their against. It’s what the Tea Party does and they don’t care what kind of damage they do to the country as long as it makes Obama look bad, just like all the recent non-scandal “scandals”.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            How many liberal scandals do we need before you idiots admit Obama is a dud, and maybe worse that than, an actual criminal and an impostor? Fast & Furious, Solyndra, IRS targeting, harassing a Fox News reporter and the AP, the death of Ambassador Stevens and the the huge cover-up that followed, the failing economy, record debt, record unemployment… I can’t see how any logical person would be happy with this president.

          • DoubleDogDiogenes

            And they all turned out not to be scandals and the hate filled right got hoisted by its own propaganda. Poisoning ANGELS? Are you people simply nuts? This isn’t Christianity. This is some sick ignorant cult! Or a real bad idea of a joke.

          • God_Santa_Chupacabra

            Anyone who actually buys into the “poisoning angels” angle is incomprehensibly stupid.

          • Braggi

            Hint: this article is satire. That’s why it’s written so only the “incomprehensibly stupid” believe it. (Good one God_Santa_Chupacabra)

          • SerbianIrishYankee

            Is this whole website satire? I believe it is. And if so then then it’s brilliant!

          • Roy Blankenship

            Except the same talking points being repeated here the same as on actual conservative pages. If this is supposed to be satire, it needs to be a whole lot more over the top to differentiate itself from actual sites.

          • Lee

            Well it’s very obviously a satire website since it has articles claiming marijuana is addictive and worse than cigarettes or alcohol

          • Roy Blankenship

            I was unfriended on Facebook by a high school classmate who probably thinks that is true because she is STUPID. It is obviously satire to you and me, but you would be amazed at the rampant stupidity in our nation thanks to the disinformation and selling of fear being shared on the internet.

          • Jan Civil

            It must be. I haven’t found the disclaimer yet, but this is beyond the ultra pale.

          • lee

            Chemtrails are real but “poisoning angels” is pure stupidity

          • David silverman

            So you’re pissed at this page for making your bat-shit insane conspiracy theory look bat-shit insane.. I see…

          • Sungoddess

            And neither are angels

          • Lee

            But chemtrails are real though

          • lee

            All those scandals were real and definitely not propaganda. Obama supporters love to claim anything that is true and criticises Obama as propaganda

          • DreadMighty

            yes, we do like to claim anything that is true after researching the situation and debunking lies about this uber-Capitalist drone abusing president. Its funny, because the shit thats messed up about BHO Cons aren’t talking about. Its always hilarious to hear “Obama is a socialist” as his Obamacare is basically a capitalist wet dream and every damn criminal banker is not only free, but in his cabinet – and the same Bush advisors are right there with him as he CONTINUES BUSH POLICIES THAT LIBERALS WERE PISSED AT, but yea…”socialist”. Not the textbook version, but I guess it’s a little better than “scary nigger’.

          • Lee

            Obamacare is not a capitalist wet dream, it is a fascists wet dream

          • DreadMighty

            Fascists! Like those dirty fascist Canadians! The Danes! The United Kingdom! The French! But wait…our system is not nationalized (like our military, police, and firemen are) its SUBSIDIZING PRIVATE COMPANIES. Yeah.. if its fascist its corporate fascism.

          • Lee

            Well there are 14 characteristics of fascism and America has most of them obviously you don’t know much about fascism

            Corporate Power is Protected
            The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

            Labor Power is Suppressed
            Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed .

            Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts
            Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts is openly attacked, and governments often refuse to fund the arts.

            Obsession with Crime and Punishment
            Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.

            Rampant Cronyism and Corruption
            Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.

            Fraudulent Elections
            Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.

            Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights
            Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of “need.” The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

            Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause
            The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

            Supremacy of the Military
            Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected.

            Controlled Mass Media
            Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.

            Obsession with National Security
            Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

          • msaxie

            Republican fascism.
            They really need to go.

          • Jim Olson

            Very well done,Dreadmighty, but prolly wasted on “Lee”

          • DreadMighty

            You’re prolly right mien fruend

          • boatkitten

            Thousands of green energy companies got government loans to help them get started — not just Solyndra. Just because one of them doesn’t make it does not make the program a “scandal”. Maybe wishful thinking, but there are some VERY happy wind farms and solar companies who did QUITE well because they got those loans. You are being told about Solydra because they don’t want you to hear how successful the rest of them are.

          • lee

            You are clearly misinformed because those scandals are real

          • DreadMighty

            As real as the gassing of angels.

          • lee

            Actually they we’re scandals but people that support Obama are totally ignorant and naive

          • Lee

            Those were real scandals you moron and people from the left, right and center know they are real.

          • ThompsonSHunter

            Wait a minute, you suggest that aerial spraying is being used against angels, and you have the fucking nerve to call anybody idiots?

          • Red Mann

            I would point out were you are wrong, but I think your just doing a Poe so I won’t bother.

          • IsThisReal

            This is a satire site, right? I mean, there’s no way this can be serious.

          • Joe Nunya

            other than the small detail that every one of those “scandals” are all completely made up Reichwing nonsense, logic is not the Teabagger strong suit.

          • J. Ferrer

            You write an article about Obama poisoning angels, yet you expect to be taken seriously? You idiots should stop eating paint chips and making babies with your cousins.

          • Obedient Voter

            It’s got to be a joke… I think this whole site is a joke based on the über gay pic of the muscular naked dude with the auto rifle at the top… seriously. poisoning ANGELS with chemicals???? how???

          • Guest

            well it’s cause logical people get better information from more reputable, believable sources.

          • TheStumblingBlock

            How about one that’s authentic? Because all those scandals are the actual duds.

          • Lmaris

            How about one that exists. Fast & Furious begun under GWB, Solyndra lost less than 0.01% of the funds which disappeared under GWB in Afghanistan in cash, there was no harassment outside the “reporter”‘s mind, Stephens death has been explained, yet you are still silent about the deaths of the over 50 in attacks during the GWB years, IRS was merely doing its job to determine if tax-exempt organizations were doing as claimed, and MORE liberal groups ‘targeted’, the economy failed during GWB’s administration, and has been on an upward trend since he left office, record unemployment and debt from GWB years. They have ALL been answered. The fact you don’t like the answers doesn’t change that.

          • Thomas Brown

            Sure, except for the fact that that’s all crap. He will be remembered as a good President. I hope you live a nice long life, reminded daily that you believed and spouted lies about the leader of our country.

          • Steve K

            F&F was initiated under Shrub. It was entirely run,without oversight, as an internal Justice Department programme.

            Solyndra was a bag of bricks, made up by R-Money. It just don’t fly. At all. Except straight down.

            IRS targeted “liberal”/democratic groups FAR more than Wingnut Tea-Bagger ones. Whoever was in the White House. Funny how that little tidbit only made 2 news services in the “LIBRUL!” media, eh.

            “Harassment” of FauxNoise “journalist”. You’re joking, here, right? Seriously? ROFLCOPTER! Oh Irony! How Fearsome Is Thy Bite! :facepalm:

            WHO defunded embassy and outpost security funds to the tune of over $360million over Fiscal Years 2010-2012, despite warnings from SecState Clinton that it would cost American lives….? AND WHO wants to defund that even further this year and next… ? ;)
            Who are the real traitors and un-American idiots here….
            (Don’t answer that, it’s rhetorical for anyone with more than a room-temperature IQ).

            “I can’t see how any logical person would be happy with this president.”
            Failure of imagination, I would guess.
            Sure, he has faults – spending 5 years bending over backwards to the insane GOPtards, who then proceeded to ream him out with sharp objects every time. Still kowtows to Corporate interests against the people he’s supposed to protect. But you can bet your last wooden Romeny-Nickel, he’s a LOT better than Mitt The Wittless would ever have been if he’d been allowed to buy the presidency.

          • http://www.brianmcgloin.com/ Brian McGloin

            This is a parody, right?

          • Movin’On UP!

            Stephenson, are you insane? Since Obama took office, unemployment is DOWN, the stock market is UP, new jobs have been created and the economy continues to grow. My 401K has gone through the roof, as have the value of my homes. Don’t blame our half black president if you’re not where you want to be when the rest of the country is on the rise. Stop reading Fox news (and this rag of a website) and join the rest of the educated public.

          • Roy Blankenship

            If you had any credibility left after that article, it is completely gone now. It is disturbing that an educated person can believe so many falsehoods at one time. Are you even paying attention?

          • DreadMighty

            probably because you’re not a logical person and cannot concieve that A) This guy is not a “Liberal” and B) Happy or not – better than Romney.

          • boatkitten

            My main reason for voting for him was to give me access to health insurance, try to bring an end to the expensive Bush wars and reverse the recession. Bullseye on all three!

          • rbethke

            Have you not paid attention to all the scandals on the right side of the aisle? As for your examples: Fast and Furious was going under Bush, IRS targeting was a non-scandal, as was Benghazi. The economy has improved greatly since Obama’s election, although we still have a long way to go from where the Bush administration took us (but even I won’t blame it all on Bush, I give him 80% credit due to his poor reaction). Unemployment is getting better, not worse, and the debt is going down. I don’t expect you to believe any of this, however, because it doesn’t fit into your pre-formed world view.

          • job314

            Maybe you missed it – Republican, Democrat —– liberal, conservative it does not matter: http://rt.com/usa/us-democracy-oligarchy-policy-512/

          • Jason Dunn

            Anyone titling a report “Are Militant Scientists Using Chemtrails to Poison the Angels in Heaven?”, unless writing for a satirical site, kinda gives up their claim on
            “logic”.

            Furthermore, you’d consider me an Atheist, but I’m proud to have enormous respect for Jesus and his actual teachings of peace, love, and the importance of forgiveness. I’m particularly a fan of his adventure with the money-changers in the Temple, which leads to an overall distrust of modern politicians beholden to special interests and their own millions – which is why I find your short-sighted love of George W. Bush particularly disturbing.

            You do attract the kind of misinformed trolls that lap this stuff up like cats on milk, though. The problem will continue to be that when you trend on social media, you’ll attract attention from people like us. And the only reason you’re trending is that this whole thing is preposterous.

          • Jim Olson

            Yes we know. we also know that is not the only thing you can’t see. So, I was wrong this is not sarcasm, you actually believe all this rediculous crap. That is a special kind of stupid.

          • Javafutter

            Once again you people are believing lies. The IRS Scandal. A self described conservative republican in the Cincinnati IRS office said HE was the one who targeted Tea Party groups. And then it came out just last month that more PROGRESSIVE groups were targeted than Tea Party groups.

            The forces of excess greed in America, the people who want to poison our waters and our air, who want working class Americans who work in slave conditions, so they can make even more money, love it every time someone like you repeats these viscous lies about President Obama.

            And what’s truly ironic, or should I say, hypocritical, the last President who proclaimed his Christianity kept him from being a lifetime drunk, lied to the American people about taking us into a war in which 500,000 of God’s Children were slaughtered. (And please don’t tell me just because they were your type of Christian, doesn’t mean they had any less value on this earth.)

          • DreadMighty

            Oh yeah, IRS targeted liberals more often. So yeah. Solyandra? !?!? Really? One company- Im sorry 3 OUT OF DOZENS THAT ARE DOING QUITE WELL?!? You’re a joke. Benghazi? More jokes. Chill..

          • Cat L

            I don’t know,. You dumbass right wingers keep making them up, and we’ll let you know.

          • DreadMighty

            How many liberal scandals do we need before you idiots admit Obama is a dud, and maybe worse that than, an actual criminal and an impostor?

            Lets talk about these scandals real quick;

            Fast & Furious,

            Scandal. An Obama scandal or a Drug War scandal or both? Very Iran-Contra, but biz as usual. We will not know the truth of this regarding the POTUS for 75 years or so, or..about 30 years after knowing the deets on Iran-Contra.

            Solyndra,

            The absolute hilarity right here however, Solyndra. Well, all information you got from the investigation is from the Federal government: Bad biz practice? Yes. Theft? Yes. Government money gone? Yes. POTUS getting a cut? No. Dozens upon dozens of companies doing well due to the POTUS’ American Recovery & Reinvestment Act? Yes.

            IRS targeting

            This would be relevant if left wing organizations weren’t MORE scrutinized than the right wing ones, AND if the POTUS was involved.

            harassing a Fox News reporter and the AP,

            As if you would think the AP is a reliable source (it is). Old Rosen, who admittedly was being a nosey reporter (too bad he gets stifled when his more centrist views show up) got investigated because it was possible he was being told Defense secrets. Turns out he was fine and clear.
            Now media outlets are constantly “spied” upon by our government. If the Obama camp is doing so and is wrong for it, you would have to chuck every other president we’ve lived under for the same damn thing regardless to political leaning.

            the death of Ambassador Stevens and the the huge cover-up that followed,

            I’m still trying to figure out how 4 deaths are such a scandal when the last Pres had so many more… How lack of funding that was reliant on GOP voting to acquire to defend our State Dept is a Democratic POTUS’ fault. How wrong information can lead to a mistake and a radio host can put words into Rices’ mouth and stick, but thats a POTUS scandal. How Mrs Clinton SHUT THE WHOLE ARGUMENT DOWN IN THE WITCH HUNT with facts and information the hunters didn’t seem to have, yet the info was on their desks.

            the failing economy

            Our economy failed…its recovering. I’m confused…don’t you see the record profits to the “job creators”?

            record debt, record unemployment…

            The debt jumps everytime we have a GOP admin. EVERY TIME. The economy suffers everytime as well. Look it up! We used to have predictable long-term build-ups, now we have about 15 years per crash, and they always come with a GOP leadership that exasperates the problems. I mean c’mon. Oh wait, I guess (even though the economy crashed before Obama got into a position to sabotage it) the POTUS did it…with no new wars and rectifying the destruction of the dollar as best he could from the Cheney admin? yeah… logical.

            I can’t see how any logical person would be happy with this president.

            We’re not happy with him. We’re just glad its not Romney who would have taken the neo-Con torch and burned us into ashes, while pointing fingers at whosoever fit the right boogeyman to keep us (you and I) from voting their asses out or better, picking up a rifle and heading towards Washington a la French Revolution. I’m a Liberal. Obama is NOT. VERY NOT. Sorry, but I would suggest you look up the term before you get confused and sprain your eyebrows. The Dem leadership is about Center RIGHT. Further right then the Goddamn Gipper, but decidedly left of the Tea Party and a few blocks left of the neo-Cons. Mostly because the Tea Party is incapable of knowing what the difference between Capitalism, Socialism & COmmunism is as they go to Wal-Mart and find comfort in knowing we have 911 in case a pack of negroes randomly wants to kill or rape them – ’cause that happens.
            Good luck with your angry rants.

          • Joe Nunya

            Hit the nail right on the head.
            And somebody please tell me how what the Reich wing is doing is not considered treason.

          • jomay

            We should get Obama to endorse oxygen.

          • Abir Mandal

            ya ya ya fuck obama. and all his followers.

          • lee

            The Tea Party isn’t doing any damage to the country and the Tea Party was against everything Bush and Obama did and they are the only opposition to democrats (extremist left wing) and republicans (extremist right wing)… democrats and republicans are just two wings of the same bird that is has been slow to destroying America for a hundred years. For 160 years we have never had an independent president

          • lee

            Cap and trade does nothing. Global warming is just fear mongering to rip people off

          • lee

            Irony is that most the people that oppose Obama are well informed and are also opposed to the republicans who are just as bad as democrats because they just compromise with the democrats

          • lee

            Romney’s healthcare plan was exactly the same as obamacare and even Obama admitted that

          • lairdp

            Obama didn’t “admit” it. He adopted Romney’s healthcare reform plan, instead of the simpler, more efficient plan supported by most Americans (“Medicare for all”) in order to try to bring the two parties together and get something that they agreed on done.

          • Lee

            Dude that’s because whatever Obama wants to don’t is the opposite of what the majority of the American people want and Obama only does what corporations want him to do. It doesn’t matter who is president because they are all corporate spokesmen

          • Red Mann

            You are basically confused.

          • Roy Blankenship

            Wow, Lee, you are the epitome of what is wrong with America, a person who does not seem stupid but is totally invested in everything that is the OPPOSITE of the truth. Virtually every post you have made is 180 degrees from reality.

          • DreadMighty

            BHO should have opposed healthcare, wars and whatever he wanted to have get done and made it look like the Congress was winning. We’d be in American Utopia. Added points if a White Paper detailing his reverse psychology surfaces later near the end of his Presidency.

          • Red Mann

            Rather like dealing with small children.

          • DreadMighty

            My problem is I have small children. Possibly why I keep attempting to drill logic into the minds of those who haven’t learned it yet.

          • Red Mann

            I hear you, I have tried on various RW sites and in dealing with trolls on non RW sites. At least children can learn, unfortunately there are many who teach them all the wrong things.

          • Kelly Roberts

            Or as I like to call them… nontroversies! ! :-)

        • http://www.crackpots.us/ DamOTclese2

          It means you have the IQ of a typical Republican Christian.

    • Hc1987

      You do realize this is satire?

    • http://www.miketheinfidel.com/ MikeTheInfidel

      Do you seriously believe this satire?

    • Innocent

      you’re so right… that stupid Obama! If he didn’t make Eve bite that apple, we would never be in the situation we’re in. Everything is his fault and we all know it!!

    • doug

      I can clearly remember people like you telling us all the terrible things Obama would do when he was elected. Closing churches, imposing martial law, death camps, the mark of the beast etc etc etc

      2 terms and none of that has happened

      Is it time to be honest with yourself and your god and admit you were wrong ?

    • Eric

      Really, derphead?

    • Jos

      I literally don’t think i can live in a world where people are as fucking retarded as you… open your mind love, or do us all a favour and take a gun from you dad’s arsenal and shoot every single person that shares your beliefs… The gene pool needs a bit of chlorine…

    • Adam

      Because, you know, Obama was president from 1940-1960…

    • TheStumblingBlock

      Just a reminder: angels are imaginary, and so are your values. Flying Spaghetti Monster bless you..

    • Nope

      No-one care about your faith apart from those without brains…

    • UMac40

      “Will Atheist airline pilots try to hit angels in the clouds while flying planes?!?”

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    • William Fisher

      I can’t believe you nut jobs are actually serious, especially after last night’s debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham. This unsettling level of indoctrination is exactly what Pope Francis preached against in his sermon about radicalism. Also, SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE.

    • William Fisher

      Why would an Atheist poison something they know doesn’t exist? Also, do you honestly believe Heaven is in the stratosphere? The mesosphere is above it and all I see there is satellites.

    • Shaman man

      Hahahaha ha! )O( /| /

    • Guy Faulkes

      Who let this batshit crazy Stepford wife [Kaylee-Aurora] out of the asylum? Get a butterfly net and straight jacket STAT! I hope she hasn’t passed on her defective genes to hapless mentally-challenged offspring. What a self-loathing misogynist Tea Bagger retard.

    • James Mc Cormack

      yes kaylee i agree,i long for a Christian America ,with only registered lovers of the faith leading our nation who will bring us the only true people to the divine joy of the rapture.a leader who guided by the voice of god and will hasten the final war of armegeddon as we do God’s will with our atomic Christian might . so when Jesus finally returns he will be greeted by horribly radioactive mutated mammals that happened to survive underground during glorious initial Christian holy fallout,a baptism of the lords holy grace ! AMEN….. SAME GOES TO MUSLIMS TOO !! They are both perfect?

    • Dave

      Wow, you must be the densest person ever. This guy is being sarcastic and making fun of your type.

    • Thomas Rush

      Pretty much predictable for a nitwit on the internet to not check the facts, too.

    • Javafutter

      You mean the values of bigotry and hatred. No he probably doesn’t share your values.

    • Roddy

      That is one of the stupidest things I have read in a long time. Your obvious lake of any formal education is showing.

    • Richard Mangano

      You are willfully ignorant

    • Richard Mangano

      Do your homework dear… otherwise you come off as uneducated

    • Richard Mangano

      You can barely parse a sentence. Which one of Obama’s team are you referring to?

    • Damian

      Like rape and murder. True Christian values repeated several times in the bible….

    • Cornelius

      Fuck your faith and fuck you!

    • texasace00

      Kaylee, no I personally do not respect your hypocritical value system and faith in talking snakes and magic apples. I especially do not respect your apparent stupidity. If you think Obama is poisoning your angels, you need serious, professional help. My God, poisoning angels? The religious fanatics are bat shit crazy, but you must be their leader….This is scary, people this fucking stupid scares the hell out of me

    • whatchel

      Maybe you should put down that book of fiction and live in the real world.

    • Sound of Reason

      You think angels live at 30,000 feet.. and breathe air?

    • Martha Baumgarten

      Really? You’re THAT gullible. This whole site is SATIRE… the fact that you even hint at taking it seriously is highly disturbing. I guess that’s a symptom of ODS… Obama Derangement Syndrome.

    • Moloto

      Kaylee, you need help.

    • Mike Ex

      You brainless twit, your faith is not a virtue. Grow up and stop believing in fairy tales, at least don’t let your fairy tale be used as an excuse for your bigotry. You’re a bigot, own that and have a spine, don’t try to put it off like your religion makes you be like this. Take some responsibility for your life. If you and those like you did that maybe the world would actually change for the better.

    • http://www.appsforyoursuccess.com Jeremy J Whaley

      Okay first this is complete BS, second why would we try and kill beings we don’t believe in? Third how stupid and uneducated can people be to believe this stuff?

    • Erica Dawn

      Poor thing…I am just speechless
      You realize this is not reality right? And we wonder why the public are sheep…

  • Don Cheetos

    Atheism really is pseudo religion today but the people behind it won’t ever admit that. It’s clear they have a political agenda and its clear they hate God. I don’t understand why they’re not more honest about their intentions but maybe they’re just trying to keep the whole shebang secret until its too late.

    • Skiavalanche

      Atheists don’t “hate” god. It’s not possible to hate something that you don’t believe exists. Atheists are also not telling you that you can’t believe in god. We just say keep it to yourself in your homes, churches, etc. and out of the government and public schools

      • Stephenson_Billings

        Atheism is nothing more than a poor soul’s excuse for his lusts and his failings.

        • Barry Lyons

          Hmm. What “failings” do you have in mind when it comes to, oh I don’t know, Carl Sagan? I could cite others but I prefer to use him as a prime example of an atheist who lived a wonderful life, full of love, passion, and kindness.

          While I’m here, here’s another wonderful atheist, who is still with us: Oliver Sacks.

          So be specific. If you’re going to talk about the “failings” of atheists I’d like to know what failings you have in mind when it comes to Oliver Sacks.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            Carl Sagan was a pot user who ultimately faced a wall of self-contradiction with his notions of probability theory. The question that Sagan could never answer is what are the probabilities that we would have Jesus’ empty tomb, 5000 years of miracles, the existence of the Bible, the sudden origin of the Disciples having faith in the reality of Jesus? He claimed that extraordinary ideas required extraordinary evidence, but the contrary is also true and it’s almost mathematically impossible for all the historical facts supporting the existence of God to appear simply randomly.

          • Eric Wilde

            Um, what historical facts supporting the existence of God? There are none.

          • Barry Lyons

            What are the probabilities that the story of Jesus is just made up? What are the probabilities that humanity has been creating gods and dispensing with them when a new and “better” one comes along? What does it tell you that the story of a man-god who is murdered and comes back to life is NOT unique to Christianity but is instead a “theme” that has played out with other religions before the Jesus cult got started? Consider another: “Born of a virgin” — that is NOT unique to Christianity (to cite just one thing in Christianity that was ripped off from earlier religions).

            And you STILL haven’t corrected your piece where you attempt to link atheism with Islam. Amazing! Truly!

            Yes, Carl Sagan was a pot user. What does that have to do with anything? You or someone you know uses alcohol, which is a lethal substance (when misused). If you are a drinker, even a casual one, I won’t hold that against you. And I won’t hold it against any of your friends who drink. You can kill yourself with alcohol. You cannot kill yourself with cannabis.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            I wrote a piece refuting every aspect of your agenda entitled, “If Atheism Were Real.” I suggest you read it and take a little time to think about the implications of that notions you hold so dear.

            http://harddawn.com/if-atheism-were-real/

          • Eric Wilde

            So I went to that link and read it. If you thought poisoning angels was a looney idea, go read that link to find some real gems. It looks like SB:

            (1) has never heard of quantum mechanics

            (2) has no imagination when it comes to the origin of life

            (3) believes that somehow the Bible is the only thing that keeps us from boinking goats or something

            (4) has never heard of the past meteor strikes on earth

            (5) doesn’t seem to realize that pantheistic and animalistic religions arose before monotheistic religions

            (6) I can’t make sense of his point #6. See if you can.

            (7) denies all the love that I and other atheists feel. Guess he can really see into my heart, eh?

            (8) confuses Enlightenment philosophy with the Bible

            (9) states there are vengeful gods in Buddhism but not Christianity. really.

            (10) views on what evolution means are… quirky to say the least. Needs to read an actual science text instead of some gobbledygook cooked up by a Creationist

            (11) um, data please? this point flies in the face of historical fact and all the ugly deaths caused by religion

            (12) what? go read it for a laugh

            (13) true, we haven’t encountered alien life yet. so what? And what in heaven’s name is nihilistic about believing that statistically there should be life elsewhere in the universe?

            (14) “If God did not exist, what would prevent Satan from inflicting an apocalypse upon the Earth?” Oh my! :^)

            (15) No logic there. To paraphrase, if belief in gods didn’t exist then there could not be non-belief in gods. Methinks the converse is true: If people didn’t believe in gods to begin with, then everyone would be an atheist.

            All snarkiness aside, SB, you really do need help. Please, go get some help from a trained psychiatrist.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            My reply to your notions:

            (1) FALSE

            (2) FALSE

            (3) FALSE

            (4) FALSE

            (5) FALSE

            (6) Reading comprehension 101, imbecile

            (7) Your posts here are the perfect example of atheistic love, then?

            (8) FALSE

            (9) FALSE

            (10) FALSE

            (11) The liberal media does not keep records of the murders that atheists commit today, but the Holocaust and Stalin and Lenin’s purges are pretty easily to look up on Wikipedia. Also, Mao’s cultural revolution????

            (12) Reading comprehension fail

            (13) Red herring reply

            (14) TRUE

            (15) You just can’t open your mind to the idea that you may be wrong. What sort of scientist genuinely believes he’s 100% correct 100% of the time? That’s ridiculous and if more people were like this, it would utterly negate any human progress.

          • Eric Wilde

            No, this isn’t really an example of atheistic love. I have no love for you since I don’t even know you beyond the things written on this site (and some others where you’ve contributed.) Great sense of humor, though.

            You still need help. :^)

          • Porphyrogenitus

            I hate to argue with people whose frame of reference is so alien to my own but….
            On your point #11, this is the oldest pro-religion canard out there. “See, Hitler was an atheist (not true) and Stalin was (uncertain..started in seminary), and their ideologies were atheistic (Nazism, no/Communism, yes) so therefore, atheism is the greatest killer of all time.”
            Well, besides the completely simplistic interpretation of history and ignoring all sorts of facts (like for instance the collusion of Lutheran and Catholic Churches with Nazis, and the co-opting of Orthodoxy in Russia during WWII to promote the “Patriotic War”) the worst fault on display is the complete lack of historical perspective. The reason these regimes were so able to decimate so many people has to do with historical developments outside of religion: Mass politics, communications, military technology, vicious ethnic history in Europe…etc. etc.) Trust me, if Simon de Montfort (look him up because I know you don’t know who he is) had machine guns and the means to kill like totalitarian states of the 20th c., he would have been a great Stalin or Hitler. We could name hundreds of other religious folks who would have loved to kill on the level of these monsters.
            Finally, the religious US did a great job on American Indians didn’t it?
            I truly feel sorry for the lack of magic or imagination in the fundamentalist mindset–oh wait, this article is really imaginative! Funny in fact. Peace.

          • Saulot

            Well, the argument “they were killers because atheism” is equally stupid like saying “hitler has a mustache” “stalin has a mustache” therefore, people with mustache are evil. ” You kill all this people because you don’t believe in zeus and that’s what motivate you to do it “

          • Stephenson_Billings

            The liberal media bends over backwards to identify when a murderer is an atheist and most police departments don’t even include it in their crime statistics which is pretty shameful if you ask me. On the other hand, God forbid one single Christian gets a traffic ticket, everyone in blog-o-sphere is blaming the Bible for it.

            If you want a very strident analysis of this issue —> http://harddawn.com/why-doesnt-the-media-identify-murderers-as-atheists/

          • j1akey

            Sweden and Japan, countries that are typically identified as atheistic have some of the lowest crime rates in the world. In US prison populations atheists represent less an 1% of total inmates while representing about 10 -15% of the general population. About 5% identify themselves as non-believers instead of atheists. Seems like the data does not support your argument.

          • ijustsmokedweedwithjesus

            ive researched into this topic many times and ive noticed that the only statistics supporting the idea that atheists are guilty of commiting more crimes are on pages devoted to christianity…seems more like christian propaganda to me…but you roll with that little idea of yours chief…good luck convincing the world of all our evil intentions to take over the world BWAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
            THEYLL NEVER BELIEVE YOU UNTIL IT IS TOO LATE!!!
            YER ALL UP SHIT CREEK WITHOUT AN ARC BUD!!! LMAO

          • ijustsmokedweedwithjesus

            neeeeeeext time billings…NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!
            *slamsfistontableandscaresangrycat”

          • MistressLadybug

            Can I be on your ark when the floods come? I’ll bring cookies…

          • Rebecca Glesener Davis

            And I’ll bring the unicorns.

          • LanceJZ

            Ignoring the fact that all serial killers were very religious, sure. People are people.

          • goingtoscotland

            Atheists account for 0.21% of the prison population, but account for between 5 and 8% of the US population.

            You’re one hell of a troll.

          • Chris

            Actually it is up to just under 20% of the US population, strangely the number of atheists in prison did not go up.

          • xXWarrior4ChristXx

            Hitler was a wonderful Christian and did nothing wrong. He is a shining example and paragon of how to spread the Love of Christ.

          • silverboots

            Please tell me you’re making a really unfunny joke.

          • Adam Knapp

            Here’s a little analysis for you – if atheists commit more crime, then how come prisons are 99% christian?

          • Chris

            Thats false, statistically atheists commit the fewest crimes. Atheists make up approximately 20% of the US population, but make up less than 1% of the US prison population. Also states with the highest rates of atheism have the lowest crime rates.

            http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/our-humanity-naturally/201103/misinformation-and-facts-about-secularism-and-religion

            A simple google search could have easily proved what you were saying was false.

          • BBC Scotlandshire

            Surely that’s because atheists are intrinsically smarter than Christians and therefore more likely to get off Scot free!

          • Londonium

            You speak of things with no actual evidence, instead you merely imply there is a liberal conspiracy to support your hate propaganda. I truly believe that any person, whether of a faith or not, only uses derisive hyperbole to manipulate other fearful people into supporting their campaigns.

            As for your “strident analysis of this issue,” I read it. It lists no evidence and no statistics. Rather, it merely proposes that the evidence is there if not for the evil conspiracy that prevents it from being exposed. You have no legitimate evidence for such a conspiracy, just a hatred for anyone who isn’t a slave to your dogma. It’s very sad when humans corrupt Jesus’ teachings to support their own demonic agendas. It’s also very, VERY easy to see through.

            Personally, I pray that the God of love will unburden your heart and open your eyes to what you are doing.

          • snedwos

            Imply? You mean outright state and proclaim to the high heavens.

          • Patricia Stidham-Burns

            If you see a Physician you might be able to get some Lithium for that problem….

          • silverboots

            Heinous crimes committed by atheists huh? What have you got to say about all the priests who’ve sexually abused children?

          • snedwos

            Papist scum. They turned their backs on Jesus, and continued to serve Satan, while besmirching our Lord’s holy name every time it came to their slavering lips.

          • Marty

            This is funny. You call yourself an award-winning investigative journalist, but I’m afraid “prizes” in your breakfast cereal don’t count. Your agenda of persecution against atheists is nothing more than the prescriptive retaliation of a spoilt brat who doesn’t like it when people think differently to him, and it shows in your ‘journalism’. I’ve read all your work now from the last two years after reading this post. You write nothing but utter trash. Nothing you think or say has any basis in reality or facts, you are an absolute moron, the type of moron that gives the profession of journalism a bad name these days.

          • Peter Naus

            Wait…what the hell are you injecting? It’s interfering with what you’re sniffing.

            Last time I checked ACTUAL printed, publicly available and verifiable facts, less than 1% of the prison population is atheist.

            That means 99 times out of 100, a religious person is the one committing a crime!

            Or are you gonna say that the police (again, overwhelmingly and verifiably religious to start off with, anyway) only arrest christians?

          • Greg Stevens

            This is actually false. Who actually commits more crimes=the poor, desperate, and disenfranchised. You also have a problem with religious polls done on prisoners, who hold the christian religion at a VERY high 98% 2012-2013 statistics. The site you posed, as strident analysis is not supported by real, or actual evidence.

          • Odd Jørgensen

            Maybe because he wrote that too?

            Any person that use his old gibberish posts as support/evidence of new gibberish is pretty much disqualified as a trustworthy person, never mind the utter insanity of angels being targeted by chemtrails.

          • Ezra Graves

            Wouldn’t you argue that anybody who commits crime probably doesn’t hold a very strong belief in God? How could you be swayed to commit a crime knowing God sees you and is judging you? I think your answer is correct; Atheists, commit more crimes. That means most people are probably atheists and opportunistic in their faith at best, hedging their actions on earth in the unfounded fear that there is an afterlife. You’re a complete idiot, by the way, but you’re very funny and I’m glad I found your crazy ass. My friends and I share many laughs at your expenses.

          • acornwebworks

            Nah. After all, there’s a huge difference between not having a “strong” belief in God and being an atheist.

            Now, I *do* agree that a lot of people “hedge their bets”. Including an awful lot of folks who have convinced themselves that, as long as they “confess” or “beg forgiveness from the Lord”, all will be forgiven.

            But that makes them agnostics, not atheists :-)

            (As an aside, I agree that this guy’s stuff is hysterical!)

          • ir1ru12
          • Logic

            Every study shown displays a vast INCREASE in crime rate among christians when compared to members of other religions and atheists. Get a clue.

          • Adam Knapp

            I dunno, people with moustaches can be shady…

          • Sean K

            Well, that was been an entertaining read.

            But this sentence stopped me in my tracks – “atheism is the greatest killer of all time.”

            facepalm

            Religion doesn’t kill people. People kill people.

            Religion just provides a tool by which to justify their acts. This is true of Christian and Islam adherdents . One of many points the two religions have in common – willful ignorance and intellectual dishonesty.

            The list of religiously excused massacres and genocide can be found from antiquities such as Illiad of Homer to the Crusades to the Plain Indians’ Genocide to the Holocaust to modern Serbia and the border war with the Kurds. Every religion has blood on their hands.

            Except maybe Pastafarianism. Well, except for that whole meatball massacre.

          • Sulebob

            You do realize that most Nazis were Christian, right? The oath to Hitler had “So help me god”. The announcement of Operation Barbarossa had appeals to god, and even their belt buckles said “God is with us”. Their murders were in the name of a political ideology, as were those of any other “Communist”. Stalin was a conventional dictator who simply called his government Communist… they were the result of a paranoid madman with absolute power… not Atheism.

          • paleotn

            imbecile? Now that wasn’t very “loving”, was it. And this hypothesis of yours, have you ever thought about writing far out, weird fiction? Oh, that’s right. You already are.

          • J.p. Ladue

            (15) Look at the pot calling the kettle black.

          • Chris Floyd

            Calling people “imbecile” after they destroy your weak-minded paper isn’t exactly the perfect example of Christian love either. I.e., You sir, FAIL at being a good Christian. Every atheist I know is more “Christian”, in the sense of following the golden rule, than you are.

          • CUNTLICKER

            Just like to point out that both Hitler and Hitler and Starlin where Christians. don’t try and point the blame any where else mate look up REAL FACTS not that SHIT they teach you in creationist school!

          • Kaylee-Aurora

            WRONG!!!!! ARE YOU REALLY THIS DUMB?????

          • Londonium

            Are you so threatened by people not blindly following your leader’s agenda that you must type-scream an entry that offers nothing to either side of the debate?

          • Greg Stevens

            I hear A LOT about this so called ‘liberal conspiracy’, but….nothing about the lizards underneath the earth’s crust wanting to end us all…….

          • n_djinn

            Realy? #14. Read this slowly: We don’t believe in god OR satan. They are both myth. Satan can’t take over, because he is just as made up.

          • Logic

            That is it. You are a fucking cunt. Hitler was a Christian. The holocaust was caused by the nazis, a christian organization. Take your revisionist history and get the fuck out!

          • Goose Wiggles Miller

            PULL BACK ERIC, IT’S A TRAP.

          • LanceJZ

            Indeed, anyone who needs a book for morals is truly immoral.

          • Barry Lyons

            You have refuted nothing.

            To be brief:

            For starters, your piece gets off to a bad start with the tile. Atheism is not an “it” or “thing” in the world. “If atheism Were Real”, as a title, doesn’t make any sense.

            If love would cease to exist, how do you explain Carl Sagan who loved his wife very much? How do you explain the love that no doubt went on among people who existed before Jesus existed? Is it possible that our notions of tenderness and kindness are rooted in us as biological beings and that something “divine” doesn’t account for why people can be caring and affectionate with each other?

            Hitler was a Christian.

            Stalin created his own “personality cult”, and personality cults are secular cousins to religion. This is old news. I won’t repeat what they wrote, but Christopher Hitchens and Sam Harris took care of this old canard years ago.

            Nobody knows what occurred or existed before the Big Bang. But certainly no religion in the history of the world has ever offered anything about how the world works. I choose my words carefully: I’m not interested in hearing what anybody has to say about what life or existence “means”. I’m more interested in hearing about how life and the universe WORKS. Meaning can take care of itself.

            Earth has been hit by a meteor. A huge one wiped out the dinosaurs over sixty million years ago. Earth is always getting hit by meteors. Almost all of them burn up as they enter the atmosphere.

            Einstein most certainly did not affirm a belief in the Christian god.

            Sorry, I can’t dignify numbers 10 through 13. They are so awful and so horribly wrongheaded (when not hilariously funny). But I have to give you credit: “Homosexual Gangs of Pot Addicted ‘Vampire’ Teens” is wonderfully original.

            Wait a sec, number 13. What’s preventing these possible aliens from reaching us? Inferior technology — the same reason why we can’t reach them.

            Mermaids. Really? Mermaids?.

            And you STILL haven’t corrected your piece where you attempt to link atheism with Islam!

            Enough. I’m outta here. I will leave you with the comedy stylings of Bill Maher:

            http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/2013/07/08/bill-maher-compilation-of-rules-for-religion/

          • Foxxblood

            You started your post like this “Despite the savage lessons of Hitler and Stalin, many good people are simply indifferent to the rise of secularism in America today.”

            See anything wrong in the very first sentence? If you don’t then you are a dishonest liar.

          • Thomas Zychowski

            Hitler was a good Christian. What is your point?

          • Ned Carter

            I am fairly certain anything you write would be easily dismissed as the ravings of a delusional magic thinking religious fanatic, but send me a link and I will happily refute it.

          • paleotn

            I have, and you’re still full of it.

          • Adam Knapp

            Atheism can best be summed up as such: We don’t believe your BS.

            The end.

          • Logic

            Even your title screams mentally impaired. By definition atheism is real. Fucking hell you are dense.

          • Marceline Poisons

            Saying “What are the possibilities that the story of Jesus is just made up?” is just about as bad as saying “What are the possibilities that the story of Star Wars was made up?” Or even just as bad as saying the same thing about Lord of the Rings, or even Twilight.

            There is absolutely no physical evidence that a sub-deity humanoid creature like thing ever existed. None. At all.

            Yes, there have been men out there named Jesus. Lots of them. But were they Deities? No.

          • Ned Carter

            that is the dumbest shit I have read lately. There are NO historical facts. There is a Bible, but that is the same as saying that The Lord of the Rings is real because of all the historical evidence.. i mean, shit… theres even whole languages in it that are real.

          • stephenson_moron

            NAME *ONE* MIRACLE. OK don’t just name it, prove it happened. OH YOU CAN’T PROVE IT?? Hmmmm…

          • Adam Knapp

            So, basically, you have some stories written by unverified, half literate sand-people in the bronze age, mixed with a few writings about a guy that weren’t even written until 35 years after his death… And these stories were cherry-picked by a bunch of catholic power-mongers 1500 years ago to compile a book with no citations that’s been re-translated 4 times? That’s really not very convincing.

        • Red Mann

          I guess all those priests that diddled the little boys and the preachers who abused little girls were atheists then because they sure had lots of lust and failings. That may be why the overwhelming population of jails and prisons are Christians.

        • Andre

          And priests lust for underage children is a reflection of what?

        • indianjoe3295

          Oh,…would that be like those “lusty” feelings that Catholic Priests have ?

        • Max Hodges

          Redemption is a religious man’s excuse for his lusts and transgressions.

        • Common

          And religion is for people too stupid to understand the natural world.

        • Frustrated

          Billings you are not worth the time of a person with intelligence. Neither is Kaylee-Aurora. I doubt either one of you has had a thought that is inconsistent with your parent’s beliefs. You, of course, will take that as an absolute so you can refute.

          I will end with this. You are why this world is becoming more hateful. A complete refusal to respect human life that does not think as you do. Wait, I don’t think as you do so you will use that against me. I also don’t blog hate. Live with you hypocrisy.

        • Patricia Stidham-Burns

          You are born an Atheist. Christianity is a choice!

        • Mark Kosberg

          Is this real? This is fake, right?

        • What a Nutcase

          You are one stupid idiot, seen many but you take the cherry. Unbelievable that one can be this retarded!

        • BoscoBob

          This is the most AMAZING thread!
          We have a Godwin’s Law reply to a Poe’s Law (SATIRICAL) post, on a SATIRICAL website! Fricking priceless!

        • Logic

          In my experience atheists “sin” less than Christians. Look at the pre marital birth rate, it backs me up. Look at the religions of convicted felons, mostly christian. Your religion has failed.

    • Foxxblood

      Honest about their intentions? Religious people actually claim to be telepathically communicating with invisible magic gods and you want to talk about “honest intentions”? Seriously??

    • Nathan Browett

      wow, you’re all kinds of stupid.

    • Red Mann

      Ha, ha, ha, “hate god”. Do you realize how ridiculous that lame accusation is? We have no reason to believe in your, or anyone else’s god(s). If we actually had a political agenda, it would be to get religion out of politics altogether, The entire Republican party is awash with religious fanatics and they are doing the level best to impose their religious beliefs on the rest of us.

    • Sulebob

      I don’t believe in Captain Kirk, so by your logic I must hate him. Do you hate Zeus? Odin? No, you just see them as fictional man made deities? Why is it so hard to understand that Christianity, Islam, Judaism, the Greek religion, the Norse religion, and the Aztec religion are all equally false and man made?

      • Stephenson_Billings

        I would really love to know what you people are smoking, but then again I suspect I already know.

        • LanceJZ

          Nice empty reply, meaningless because you don’t have the intelligence to defend yourself. So instead you accuse others of what you likely do instead. How very xtian of you sir.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” –Ephesians 6:12.

        • MistressLadybug

          I really wish you could have an intellectual back and forward with the people around you without immediately throwing around insults and acting like an 8 year old caught with his hand in the cookie jar. You. Know. Nothing. You make biases based on inferences of people YOU DON’T KNOW. Are you judging them right now? If so, go flog the ever loving fuck out of yourself, because (in the words of your own holy book) NONE CAN JUDGE BUT GOD. Do not place yourself upon the high horse when the horse is lame and blind. Can please do not preach of how others have no love when you sit here calling names and (ahemahem) bearing false witness.

        • Adam Knapp

          We should share sometime. I’d love to try what you’re smoking, because I want to believe fantastic, untrue tales sometime, too. It sounds fun.

    • Ned Carter

      We cannot hate that which does not exist. We do hate ignorant people trying to make their religion our law. We do hate dumbfucks who try and shame women, and gays and kids. We do hate idiots who claim creationism should be taught in schools because they cannot teach it in their homes and churches (lies). We don’t hate god, much like we don’t hate you. We hate your actions, we hate your religion.

      Isn’t it something you say… Don’t hate the sinner hate the sin?
      We don’t hate the faithful, we hate their religion…. and all the dumbshit that goes with it.

    • MistressLadybug

      I think you show your lack of education, first and foremost, when you call Atheism a ‘religion’. Religion is defined as ‘the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or Gods.’ Atheism is defined as ‘the theory or belief that God does not exist’. The ONLY connection between the two is the word ‘belief’, and belief can be many things, and it can be few things. They do NOT hate, the merely do not believe. Get over yourselves thinking that all they want to do is tear down your religion (wah,wah,wah) They have their own lives, their own shit to deal with, and NONE OF IT has anything to do with you. They don’t turn around and say ‘Christianity is really a pseudo religion, all the people do is lie and hate and spread war and cause grief, I mean, I don’t know why they aren’t being honest with themselves and admitting to everyone that they are just a bunch of bigots with nothing left to hold onto in this world save the idea that some man from the clouds is going to come down and save them all one day’. This is not an attack on Christians in an attempt to ‘blot out your holy word’ or slander a holiness code written three thousand years ago that no longer bears witness to nor is valid in our current society. The morals, yes we should hold onto those, but if you’re going to pick one part of the Bible to hold up and say ‘This is the word of the Lord and you should follow it’ you better be DAMN willing to follow the other pointless practices instilled by that confounded book. I’m not saying religion is bad, at all, I have what I believe and I stick to it. I don’t make other people follow it, I don’t scorn others for not following it because in the end, I’m just a person trying to be a (holy shit, get this) good human being. Following a religion doesn’t make you bad. Being a shitty, terrible human being makes you bad. And that goes to EVERYONE. Get over your hate, get on with your hugging, and for THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS WONDERFUL IN THE WORLD, JUST BAKE COOKIES AND START GIVING THEM AWAY. Damn, you feel better.

      Also, I have no idea how our puny, worthless, human technology could take down the damn defenders and carriers of the Lords words. Wouldn’t he just, you know, make them immune to it or some shit, BEING AN ALL KNOWING, EVER SEEING GOD AND ALL? Get over yourselves, please.

      • aprsnalve

        No. “Religion” has more than one definition. Well, I guess that goes for almost every word I think.

        One dictionary I read, defined “Religion” as “an organized collection of beliefs, and world view that relate to humanity”. I don’t remember what the name of the dictionary was though or if it was a dictionary or just a book at all.

        So according to this definition Atheism is a Religion.

    • Max Hodges

      Technically its just the opposite; athesim is absence of religion. You will not get far in life.

    • Monica

      Atheists don’t hate something that isn’t real. I don’t hate the Easter bunny. I do hate people who are ignorant on purpose tho. Also, the only thing atheists want is for you to think rationally, and stay out of politics.

      • aprsnalve

        No. I don’t think that goes for every atheist. An atheist after all is still an individual and can hate or may hate certain thing, event, person, etc

    • Eric Pederson

      We won’t admit something that isn’t true. Words have actual meanings. “Atheism” literally means that we reject the idea of believing in deities. The definition of “religion” IS the belief in supernatural beings. That’s what that means. Atheism can be a movement, but it is IMPOSSIBLE for it to be a religion. If we needed a religion, we’d have never left one.

    • Jake

      I don’t hate god. Hard to hate something I don’t even think exist.

    • Greg Stevens

      LOL!!!!! Atheists do not believe in god…but in order to vilify your statement you had to actually change the meaning of atheism. While the straw man is funny, to say the least, it is just plain wrong simple as that. Basically your ‘statement’ said this:

      Also, EVERY Christian is an atheist. 2500 or so gods, and you pick one. All we do is just take it one god further.

    • Logic

      Wait. You are telling me that atheists hate a god they know doesn’t exist? You just blew my freaking mind. I am going to accept Jesus as my lord and savior. Can you smell the sarcasm? You are fucking stupid. As an atheist, the only goal I have is to save people from the hate, murder, child abuse, rape culture, homophobia, society that religion tries to create. Religion is pure evil, there is no question.

      • Nope

        An emotional thinker with a logical identity is like a hateful person who identifies as a Christian. The closest and most realistically conceivable utopia would be a world in which people are aware of their individual ignorance.

  • Barry Lyons

    Sorry, atheism isn’t a cult (you need to look up the definition of cult) and it certainly isn’t a “faith” — or as Bill Maher said recently, “Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position”.

    This is also incorrect: “It’s the atheists who spread contempt of God and invite such reckless notions of communism and Islam.” I fail to see what atheists have to do with the religion of Islam. A simple investigation will show you that Islam is one of the three major Abrahamic religions. Hey, don’t look at me. That’s history and history cannot be refuted, at least not in this regard.

    If you think atheists are devoted to “nothing”, I guess that means you don’t know anything about the life of Carl Sagan. No nihilism with him! You ought to read his final book, “The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark”. Sagan was a great man, passionate and full of life and wonder at the awesome majesty of existence.

    Finally, your bit about non-existent “angels” getting poisoned is very funny. You might have a career as a comedy writer if you keep that up!

    Oh, by the way. That sidebar to your piece that I saw about the “dangers” of marijuana. I didn’t click on it. Maybe it’s an ad and not a blog post by you. But here’s my question: what dangers? I mean, you know full well that tobacco and alcohol have killed hundreds of thousands of people. Aspirin kills hundreds of people every year. Marijuana? We’re still waiting for a body to show up at the morgue.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Now that’s just being childish. We all know that atheists have organized all over the internet and have formed their own tribe with its own crazy ideas and militant obsessions. These people are basically running websites like Reddit.com which just attack Christians and insult them in the most negative way each and every day. It’s a pretty pathetic show, if you ask me. The same is true on Twitter where Atheist, Inc. just harasses Christians. Maybe the Christian community would be a little more open to the Atheist cause if the people weren’t always so incredibly full of themselves. They utterly lack self aware and self control and can be some of the most stubborn and crude people you ever meet. The fact they want to tear down memorials to our fallen veterans just shows you how disgusting these people are, and the attack on our schools are akin to terrorism. Sorry, but you don’t have a horse in this race with your contrived and ridiculous arguments.

      • Barry Lyons

        I fail to see where I’ve been “childish” — though it’s certainly childish to believe in angels! I mean, come ON. What is more childish than believing in ethereal invisible beings flying around? That is crazy.

        But, hey, you’re the one who said that Islam isn’t a religion and atheists are somehow connected to it. Like I said earlier, don’t look at me. Just look at your own words, which are wrong. Or look at a history book on world religions.

        In the meantime, I will wait for a detailed report from you on Carl Sagan and Oliver Sacks. Yeah, I can’t wait to see you tear into those wonderful guys!

        • Stephenson_Billings

          Your conspiracy theories have no place here, nutjob.

          • Eric Wilde

            Haha! That’s the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time, SB.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            Is that supposed to be sarcastic?

          • Eric Wilde

            No.

          • LanceJZ

            Ding ding, the man figured it out.

          • MistressLadybug

            Wanna marry me? I’ll do all the baby-killing and dinner preparations, and then before we actually get married, we can have hours of raucous and rowdy sex. And then we’ll go spit on Baby Jesus. (Billings, if you think this looks crazy, this is legitimately how you’ve looked to everyone else who has posted here)

          • Barry Lyons

            What “conspiracy” are you referring to? Are you referring to Islam and insinuating that it’s not a religion? If that’s what you’re referring to, would it trouble you to search for “Abrahamic religions” as a way to get started, that is, as a way to correct your belief that Islam is somehow connected to atheism?

            You believe in invisible creatures with wings and yet I’m a “nut job”. That’s funny!

          • Red Mann

            Dude, you’re the one with the totally crazy conspiracy “theory”.

          • Kaylee-Aurora

            Dude, maybe its time to grow up and stop speaking like a teenage burner.

          • LanceJZ

            What does that even mean?

          • Red Mann

            Thanks for thinking I’m a young person and that you’re an old f**t. Actually I picked up the “Dude” from my grandkids. I wrote that before I figured out this is one big Poe.

          • LanceJZ

            Oh that is rich. LOL

        • Nope

          Angels are real.

      • Nathan Browett

        pot meet kettle, kettle meet pot… you can’t be that delusional can you? oh wait… you still believe in imaginary friends.

      • Red Mann

        If this site isn’t some elaborate Poe, your are seriously
        deluded and probably should seek help. The reason I “harass”
        Christians is because they so blatantly lie to support their agenda and because
        they use their delusions to denigrate others. I mean, poison angels, really?
        Even if there was such a thing as angels, how could mere humans poison them?

        Maybe the Atheist community, which isn’t really a community,
        would be a little more open to the Christian cause if the Christians weren’t
        always so incredibly full of themselves and rely on unfounded beliefs to form
        their worldview. The rest of your comment is absolute nonsense and bears no relation
        to reality. Atheist do not want ” want to tear down memorials to our
        fallen veterans”, we just want to enforce the Constitution that prohibits
        one religion being promoted over another, which is what insisting on using Christian
        crosses on public land does. Get over your self induced Christian privilege,
        get over your ridiculous remarks and join the rest of humanity in the wonderful
        world of reason and relaity.

      • Brian

        Atheists have organized themselves because we are always the minority in nearly every country, state, province, county and city and town. We want to interact with each other, spread ideas and converse with like-minded people. I struggle to see how this is a bad thing, or evil as you seem to think it is?

        Attacking Christianity (or Islam, or Judaism) is not particularly difficult. Religion is ignorant, stupid, and a detriment to society. Believing in many of religious writings is laughable. I wouldn’t take it so personally.

  • Wm.Russ Martin

    Yes!

    Mwhaha ha ha!

    BTW, this site is full of awesome. UFOs, Nazis, Nazi UFOs, Lesbian Illuminati (I must practice typing that more!), FEMA troops, Evolution in scare quotes. All we need now are Nazi UFO Lesbian Illuminati FEMA troops Evolving into mildly irritated sea bass with fricken lasers on their heads! Yay.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Thank you my friend. We appreciate your support!

      • porphyrogenitus

        You have a great gag going on here. Keep it coming! This stuff is hilarious! We’ll wink with you my friend.

      • SAC1111

        “Thank you my friend”???? You’re so DELUSIONAL that you can’t even recognize sarcasm and the fact that W.Russ Martin was mocking you! lol

  • KennethBaldonieri

    I can’t tell if this Billings dude is serious or not. If this is sarcasm, it’s pretty fantastic. This guy has one hell of an imagination. If this is real, he probably should be on the look out for white-coated gentlemen knocking on his door.

    Por ejemplo: Billings posits an actual, concrete “heaven”
    where tangible angels actually hang out like cool kids at the soda shoppe. And
    not only do the angels have actual physical manifestations, the liberals have
    found a way to chemically poison them. This is breathtakingly brilliant! I want
    whatever Billing’s is on.

    • Eric Wilde

      I have a hard time believing this is anything but satire. Look at that banner image!

      • KennethBaldonieri

        I think you’re right. “The lesbian wing of the illuminati seize control of the NFL” is another article on this site. That’s pretty great.
        Nobody that can put 2 sentences together would believe any of this nonsense.

        • Kaylee-Aurora

          Obama’s disinformation teams are out in force, I see.

      • a_no_n

        It would be easier to tell if it was satire if anything on the site was actually funny…But it’s not, none of it is…if it’s satire it’s badly done.

  • waldteufel

    Hey Stephenson . . . . . What size tinfoil hat do you need?

  • Nathan Browett

    wow, you just went full retard.

    • Fred

      That’s an insult to people with learning difficulties.

  • Bob

    You’re joking, right?

  • Jared

    I’ll get you more haldol – you clearly haven’t been taking yours.

    Second thought, maybe the dec would be better for you

  • fred

    This is satire, right? Cause there’s no way that someone could have written this in anything other than jest…

    • Fred

      Oh, I see….It is satire. Got me Dr. Billings ;)

    • Stephenson_Billings

      When people encounter an ideas they are extremely afraid of, ideas that challenge their very being, they cry out “Conspiracy theory!” or “this is a joke!” but maybe part of you feels so threatened because you can see my logic, and your mind truly wants to believe the truth. Try not to be so closeminded my friend. There’s a great big world out there and it’s going to contradict these notions you hold so dear. That’s what growing up and becoming an adult is all about.

      • Hammer

        Wow I guess there
        really is a need for padded rooms. You think all people that don’t believe in
        “YOUR GOD” is in some sort of a conspiracy against you. And what does
        smoking pot have to do with anything?? You are so F N nuts. I bet you think God
        wrote the bible himself and they are all HIS words to right? Religion is like
        having a penis. Its ok to have one. You can play around with it in the privacy
        in your own home, but please don’t take it out in public and wave it around in
        our faces.

        I take great offense to this as well: Atheism is nothing more than a poor
        soul’s excuse for his lusts and his failings.

        Just because someone doesn’t believe in your god does not mean they are Poor
        Souls.

        I think your Vatican Cronies can tell you about Lust a lot better than anyone
        else. Or maybe the little boys they raped.

        So we are to
        believe in them? What they preach and stand for??

        Go end it, Please. Bury yourself!!

        You are so lost and I cannot even begin to fathom you trying to educate someone
        on how to live their lives.

      • xceed

        Well, this is not your normal tone of talking…you must have copied the last few lines from an intellectual atheist’s comment..

    • Thomas Zychowski

      I was waiting for the jester to jump out, sadly it never happened.

  • Red Mann
  • Scott Davenport

    Is this a joke

  • unknown

    I simultaneously admire and fear your absurd level of commitment to this satire, “Dr.” Billings.

  • Porphyrogenitus

    You guys are hilarious. Is this the next Onion?

  • David Johnson

    Wow! The tinfoil is thick in this guy’s hat…

    • Foxxblood

      He is wearing the tinfoil hat point down!!
      – pssst! Mr. Billings… Alex Jones suggest that you turn that hat right side up!

  • Facepalm

    this article has to be the biggest load of shit i have ever read. seriously, atheist conspiracy? keep on drinking the kool aid.

  • alexphones

    Chemtrails are making millons of people sick every day including myself but everyone acts like your crazy if you try to talk to them about it. I have read pilots on blogs talking about the TRUTH OF chemtrails and now have over 200+ links saved on a incrypted file so NSA computer viruses they will never be able to delete the truth from me.

  • BillWetzel

    I thought I’ve seen it all, but this is easily the dumbest thing I have read in some time, maybe ever.

    • Facepalm

      indeed sir. welcome to the Tin Foil Hat generation.

  • BillWetzel

    Ok.. never mind I get it. Pretty brilliant really.

  • N

    Dear Dr. Billings–
    Is this for real, or are you just trolling?
    N

  • N

    Dear Dr. Billings–
    I am head of security for the great atheist conspiracy. Someone has obviously been leaking information concerning our conspiracies to you. When we embarked on this project, everyone in the planning commission was sworn to secrecy. Please let us know who passed this information on to you so he can be dealt with appropriately. Thanks.
    N

    • Stephenson_Billings

      I can’t tell if your for real or not but at least we now have some sort of confirmation in the public spehere.

      • MissKittyFantasm

        That would be **You’re** and **Sphere**. Sure ~you’re~ a journalist???

        • Nope

          Posters reveal themselves by commenting.

  • Bernd Bausch

    Honestly, scientists have infiltrated the National Science Board? Are you serious? Now that’s scary!

    • Kaylee-Aurora

      They’ll do anything to have power over our lives.

      • Thomas Zychowski

        Yes, like save you from diseases. Those power hungry scientists.

  • Louie

    This may be the most meta thing ever. I cannot tell where the satire begins and ends, it is coming from both sides of the crazy coin.. Bravo!

  • Voice of tReason

    Anti-angel spray. Finally, a version of the chemtrail story that makes sense.

    • Thomas Zychowski

      That was great, congrats.

  • Notorious_bob

    lol, so first you want to tell us that atheists have control of military aircraft and chemical weapons… then.. to top that off. you want to tell us your omnipotent god is vulnerable to man-made toxins. do creationists THINK?

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Do liberals ever stop lying?

      • hereNT

        Do right-wingers ever realize that they believe lies so firmly that when truth is shown to them they can’t comprehend it? Seriously, I hear complete fallacies from the right 100x more often than I do from the left. The sad thing is, the right isn’t exactly _lying_ they’re delusional or insane.

  • DJB

    What a complete cuckoo this author is. My goodness.

  • Shamus

    please tell me that this is a joke.

    • Thomas Zychowski

      No, I think this guy is serious.

  • Erik Griffiths

    This has got to be satire.

  • valle

    Is this an Onion type website? I really can’t tell.

  • hello

    This page is satire right? It can’t be real…you can’t honestly believe that chemtrails are “killing” angels. You do realize if they exist, no man made chemical could kill them or harm them right?

  • Barnacle

    Dr. Stephenson,

    I’m rather astounded that you have not yet penned an article on the dangerous trend of Asian-made stem-ware, which is a plot against America intended to generate either wrist repetitive stress, or, worse still, a condition known as “trigger-finger”, where the tendons on the fingers form “knots” that cause fingers to get stuck in the clenched position. This latter condition makes it difficult to manipulate things such as scissors and nail clippers, but MOST dastardly, it makes it painful and nearly impossible to perform such simple tasks as pulling on socks and pants, and tying shoes. In a nation where people predominantly wear pants and shoes, this could lead to utter chaos!

    Sincerely hoping you rectify this omission,
    Byron “Barn” Canfield

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Thank you for the tip my friend, I’m going to pass it along to a fellow reporter here.

      • MissKittyFantasm

        LOL at ‘reporter’. Sort out your grammar and spelling and read a few books on actual science, then one day, you too, can be a real reporter…

  • Mr.Atheist Scientist

    Yes, everyone. It’s true, we have been killing off Angels for that last century! We have been able to kill the unkillable! WE HAVE KILLED AND HATED SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T EVEN EXIST!

  • Cram-man

    Genuinely hilarious, you Americans are fucking crazy yo!

  • Guy Faulkes

    Yes, who would doubt the veracity and intelligence of a children’s party clown and bottle collector – definitely rigorous disciplines in science, sociology and geopolitics.

  • dogbyte420

    This is hilarious lolololololol

  • agent X

    seriously…what factual evidence do you have to back up ANY of these claims? yes we know DDT, LNX and several other were used as weapons of war (and some still used to as pesticides) but seriously, “top secret facility”? if it was top secret you would be arrested on sight or even shot if it was top secret, you need to lay off the illiicit substances and get back on your medication.

  • CivicCynic

    Chemtrails?! I thought those were daddy planes releasing sperm into the clouds to make baby planes.

    (Hey, this hypothesis is on par with the level of science/logic/rhetoric on this site.)

  • edxactly

    This was hysterical!

  • Jay

    I seriously hope this website is akin to “The Onion”. This HAS to be satire.

  • notacon

    This is fake, right? This is a joke site, right? Rifle-Penis Dude is meant as a joke, right?

  • youguysareidiots

    wow this site is a haven for complete morons! get off “i’m right . com” and wake up you twits. you honestly think every single human who is curious and experiements scientifically is part of some secret collusion against the general populace? (facepalm)

  • Anonymous

    Are you fucking kidding me? For atheists to wan’t to poison angels with this shit, they would have to BELIEVE THEY WERE THERE! Which they do not. Additionally, the religion of Islam believes in the same god that you do, they just have a different prophet.

    • MissKittyFantasm

      Indeed, one fucked his own mother before sacrificing himself TO himself to create a loophole for his own rules, and the other was a paedophilic war-monger who called for the death of all non-muslims. Both of these events based on a holy book, allegedly inspired by the same immoral asshole in the sky. Gotta love religion, culling the population never felt so righteous >.<

      • Stephenson_Billings

        You’re completey nuts.

        • Nope

          She’s a pleased-with-herself succubus.

  • Valkana

    I think I just fell in love with this site. I don’t know which is better, the articles or the comments.

  • jeano

    This is a joke, right? Either that or this man is totally paranoid and in need of medication.

  • Daniel

    If anyone actually believes this then I have some bad news for you: You’re retarded. First of all, there’s absolutely NO evidence for the existence of a god of any kind, let alone the imaginary one you worship. Second, there’s so much scientific illiteracy and ignorance in this article that it requires a willful suspension of common sense and logic to even remotely take seriously? Angels? Really? First of all, again there’s more evidence for the existence of god than there is for angels. And chemtrails? I don’t even know what to say for that one. Contrails however have been around since there were powered aircraft. Just look up pictures or video of world war 2 aircraft. They produce contrails that look exactly like modern day ones. And literally every single nation in the world denies that chemtrails even exist. And if anyone used their fucking heads, why would the government poison the very atmosphere they themselves have to breathe? Honestly, never underestimate the creativity of stupid people.

  • eddie

    Lmao…this is the dumbest article I’ve ever read. Atheist don’t believe In god. If we had proof of angels…well duh we would kinda have to believe. Idiot.

  • David Duncan

    de·lu·sion (d -l zh n) n. 1. a. The act or process of deluding. b. The state of being deluded. 2. A false belief or opinion: labored under the delusion that success was at hand. 3. Psychiatry A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence, especially as a symptom of mental illness: delusions of persecution.

    [Middle English delusioun, from Latin d l si , d l si n-, from d l sus, past participle of d l dere, to delude; see delude.]

    de·lu sion·al adj.

    delusion [dɪˈluːʒən] n 1. (Psychiatry) a mistaken or misleading opinion, idea, belief, etc. he has delusions of grandeur 2. (Psychiatry) Psychiatry a belief held in the face of evidence to the contrary, that is resistant to all reason See also illusion, hallucination 3. (Psychiatry) the act of deluding or state of being deluded delusional adj delusive adj delusively adv delusiveness n delusory

    de•lu•sion (dɪˈlu ʒən)

    n. 1. an act or instance of deluding. 2. the state of being deluded. 3. a false belief or opinion: delusions of grandeur. 4. a false belief that is resistant to reason or confrontation with actual fact: a paranoid delusion. [1375–1425; late Middle English < Latin dēlūsiō; see delude, -tion] de•lu′sion•al

    delusion (d -l zh n) A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence, especially as a symptom of mental illness, as in schizophrenia.

    Thesaurus Legend: Synonyms Related Words Antonyms Noun 1. delusion -(psychology) an erroneous belief that is held in the face of evidence to the contrary psychotic belief psychological science, psychology – the science of mental life mental condition, mental state, psychological condition, psychological state – (psychology) a mental condition in which the qualities of a state are relatively constant even though the state itself may be dynamic; "a manic state" delusions of grandeur – a delusion (common in paranoia) that you are much greater and more powerful and influential than you really are delusions of persecution – a delusion (common in paranoia) that others are out to get you and frustrate and embarrass you or inflict suffering on you; a complicated conspiracy is frequently imagined hallucination – illusory perception; a common symptom of severe mental disorder nihilistic delusion, nihilism -the delusion that things (or everything, including the self) do not exist; a sense that everything is unreal somatic delusion – a delusion concerning the body image or parts of the body zoanthropy – the delusion that you have assumed the form of an animal 2. delusion – a mistaken or unfounded opinion or idea; "he has delusions of competence; "his dreams of vast wealth are a hallucination" hallucination misconception – an incorrect conception disorientation, freak out – a wild delusion (especially one induced by a hallucinogenic drug) 3. delusion – the act of deluding; deception by creating illusory ideas head game, illusion dissimulation, deception, dissembling, deceit – the act of deceiving

    delusion noun misconception, mistaken idea, misapprehension, fancy, illusion, deception, hallucination, fallacy, self-deception, false impression, phantasm,

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Go jump in a lake, dictionary boy.

  • Luis Brenes

    Is this for real? I mean, you really believe this sort of tales?

  • youguysareidiots

    I LAUGH THAT THE TITLE IMAGE FOR THIS SITE SHOWS AND OILED, GLISTENING, MUSCULAR MAN POSING SEDUCTIVELY WITH A LENSFLARE AT HIS CROTCH, AND BELOW, THE WORDS: “HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA” SCREAM OUT FROM THE CLOSET. OH HAHAHAHA IT’S TOO MUCH!!

    • lol@gold.com

      OH AND I JUST REALISED THAT THE GUN IS HIS BONE!!!! BAAAHAHAHAHAHAH GENIUS

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Funny how your mind goes right to hardcore sex whenever you see a male soldier.

  • Louis

    OK… I was with you up until you started badmouthing evolution and climate change. Those both have massive amounts of evidence and an overwhelming consensus among a vast majority of the scientific community, which almost never happens. Now I ask you, where the fuck is your evidence? A few most likely falsified pictures and the claims of the common people? Do you know how fucking stupid people are? Seriously, do you? Of course you do. You’re one of those people. Fucking idiots.

  • cassy bowes

    ‘award winning investagative journalist’?!? this is the kind of ridiculous consipiracy nutjob comments that would be more appropriate on the carved into the wall of a weed room. Religion is at an all time low because of people becoming clever enough to see the clear mental deficiencies associated with articles like this!!

  • Thomas Zychowski

    You must be a doctor of fairyology or theology.

    I’m happy you have a right to express your opinion, no matter how crazy it is. You spin it well.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Thank you my friend.

  • C. Heston

    Whoever wrote this article, and everything else on this looney website, is absolutely out of their minds. Seriously, go to school before you open your mouth or seek professional help. You people are lunatics.

    • Annie Cargirl

      Are you kidding? This is the best satire EVER.

  • goingtoscotland

    People are actually taking this site seriously? It’s more obvious than an Onion article.

    By the way, the true purpose of those blue barrels is to alter weight and balance for center of gravity and load testing for new commercial airliners. The More You Know.

    • goingtoscotland

      “hyper-heated in the atmosphere to attain a canopy-like distribution above targeted regions.”

      How can you hyper-heat a trail of condensation when the atmosphere it’s in has a temperature of -40C?

  • Rick

    Do you all honestly belive this junk ?

  • Kay Osmo Tion

    This is funny. It is the second funniest thing I have read since the ‘official’ 9/11 Report came out. (no, not because the tradegy was funny, because the Official 9/11 report was as false and so obviously satire… though I sincerely hope this atricle is intentionally satire…otherwise this journalist is severely mentally deranged.

  • Owen

    Is this supposed to be satire?

    Hard to attempt to kill something we don’t believe in.

  • beezleboss1017

    this is the most jack assed article/comment series I’ve ever read. I don’t believe in God/Heaven or Satan/Hell or angels or pretty much any of the nonsense. I didn’t grow up an atheist, I was raised a catholic but after years of ramblings that pretty much never struck home, I became a complete AGNOSTIC. The bible is a semi decent story with semi decent morals. The fact is there is no proof of a GOD or heaven. If you have been there speak now or forever hold your peace….but back to the moral of this comment. I’m a good hearted individual, if I see you broke down on the side of the road…I’ll stop to help. If you need money, I’m not greedy, If I got it…you can get it. If you’re out in the cold and I got a place for you to crash…you can sleep at my place…If you know me you know that I always look out for my fellow man….it has nothing to do with the government or GOD or lack there of. It’s my upbringing. I don’t need to believe in a special place where my good deeds get rewarded or my bad deeds get punished. I’m not condemning your faith I’m saying that not everyone wants it force fed down their throats. So GOD created man? What about the dinosaurs or the prehistoric creatures we have visual proof of…Did GOD arrive after their extinction? I thought GOD created the sun on the 3rd day?? How did he keep time without a sun? And why does Jesus refer to himself as the Morning Star…pretty sure that WAS Lucifers job!!! And where are all the talking snakes? I’m 28 years old and I’ve never seen a talking snake!!

    Now you want to get down to what I believe? I believe if this world never created a GOD in the first place aside from the so called chaos that would ensue our civilization would be similar to the civilization of the Star Wars movies. Science would be much farther that where we are now. Instead of trying to disprove the theory of GOD we would’ve been on deep space explorations thousands of years ago. Im not saying that having a personal faith or belief is wrong, but many of you that are reading this will jump the gun and assume I’m some devil worshipping bad man…when the fact is the is no devil…Evil men YES!! but a giant demon like figure that dwells in a world of fire…nah. That’s a story to scare children into making them act right…I got something that’ll make my kids act right its called discipline. A belt and a corner go a long way!! Oh look now he is talking bout beating kids…oh my jesus…I was raised by a catholic woman that beat common sense into me, but what would kids fear if they didn’t believe in a hell? They don’t have to fear anything, THEY’RE CHILDREN!! If they are raised with proper morals and respect, society should flourish…

    You know GOD is the #1 cause of War worldwide…. just sayain…super sayain…I’m out

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Thanks for the personal history, but don’t you feel a little bit empty now that you’ve abandonded your faith and your community?

      • MissKittyFantasm

        **Abandoned** Another assumption. Maybe he dropped his faith for freedom from slavery.

  • sidecut

    That is the funniest thing I have ever read. I am now dumber for reading it. :/

  • portertx

    Nut job

  • DoubleDeezNutz

    This Stephenson Billings has to be one of the most brilliant Trolls on the internet.

  • indianjoe3295

    And here I thought Bachman was crazy. This site makes her look like a genius ! Are you people for real ?

  • Jaduardo

    The title of this story belies it’s stupidity. Athiests don’t believe in god and, by extension, heaven or angels. So anybody trying to poison angels would be, by definition, not an athiest.

  • Guest

    The stupidity of you fucks… Please go die.

  • Darrin Parkin

    I think perhaps I stumbled on a humorous site that is satirical. Maybe someone can confirm that for me. Otherwise, I hate to imagine a world that has even one poor dumb-ass who would not even qualify to be the village idiot. Government poisoning angels with chemical spray??? Wow. Some careless asylum has lost one of its’ lunatics.

    • Marceline Poisons

      I think this is legit. Just think about how stupid America has gotten in the past… 20 years…

      • Stephenson_Billings

        We’re still the leader of the free world, pinko.

        • Marceline Poisons

          “Free”

          And are we not billions of dollars in debt to China? We’re far from a leader. Trust me. We’re on the brink of self destruction.

          Then again, most religious folk disregard all science and think a floating fairy man hiding behind some clouds does everything.

          I also highly doubt you even completed college at that.

          • MissKittyFantasm

            His spelling is atrocious, so I’d agree. If he’s a reporter, the world really has gone to shit.

          • Stephenson_Billings

            Please send me a link to your esteemed writing. I would be curious to judge you on the spur of the moment as well. Imbecile.

        • Marceline Poisons

          http://www.heritage.org/index/ranking I’ll just leave this here for you.

          “Leader of the free world” my ass.

        • MissKittyFantasm

          You also have one of the weakest education systems in the free world. If you nutjobs stopped interfering with real science, you might have a chance to raise some not illiterate offspring.

  • Jay

    How can someone hate something they do not believe exists? How can you tie atheism to nihilism to communism to Islam. How can you believe in people being able to use something organic or engineered to block out and “angel” that has always been portrayed as a spirit, which would be completely unaffected by any physical substance. This is just the most unintelligent article I’ve ever read.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Thanks for the commentary. Please send me some of your writing once you’ve posted it to your little blog or whatever.

      Imbecile.

  • Ilovereadingthesecomments

    God doesn’t care if I’m an athiest or not. She hates men, anyways.

  • Dooner P. Jenkins

    Is this for real? Haha! Wow.

  • Marceline Poisons

    atheism (ˈeɪθɪˌɪzəm)

    — n

    rejection of belief in God or gods

    [C16: from French athéisme, from Greek atheos godless, from a- 1 + theos god]

    In other words, saying that Atheists are a “cult” or a “religion” makes you a pointless coward who doesn’t know how to define things.

    Heck, Atheism literally directly translates to Anti Theism.

    Theism is a belief. Being Anti Theistic simply means lacking of a belief.

    There are many reasons why Atheists make fun of religious people, and this article just so happens to be a prime reason.

    Perhaps if religious folk weren’t so stupid, Atheists wouldn’t poke so much fun at them.

    Just some food for thought.

  • Jeremy Electronic

    This is obviously a joke; read the bio for this guy ‘Stephenson Billings’ and do some Google-searching. The whole website is just made up randomness (my guess is it’s maintained by a few homeless dudes at a public library somewhere in New York).

  • Pasta Priest

    I don’t think all of the medications and therapy in the world can help the writer of this little piece of fiction. How did this guy get a PhD? Is it a real one, or is it from one of those scam websites? You just tell them what type of degree you want, pay $100, and wait six weeks? lol

    Atheists hate god? How can you hate something you don’t believe in? That would be the same as saying, “I hate Santa Claus!” ;-)

  • ThompsonSHunter

    This, without a doubt, the nuttiest thing I’ve read on the internet in years. Pure lunacy. Angels. It’s 2013. Who on Earth still believes in angels? This is pure crap. If I had to say, I’d guess Dr. Stephenson Billings is a doctor of quackology with a minor in delusional insanity.

  • Adam Knapp

    The barrels are filled with water- this is how Boeing and other companies weight test their aircraft with a full load of “people” – hence why there are separate tanks where the seats would be, rather than one large, more spacious, and much less heavy tank.

    • Chris

      Hey, there is no room for logic or facts here!

  • Jesus Heist

    Such an irresponsible article. Learn a little aviation and a little physics and a touch of meteorology then rethink how absolutely ridiculous this is.

  • john

    I have come to the conclusion that HardOn.com is a fake site with people who take is seriously and don’t understand satire.

  • BillingsAnIdiot

    HEY TOOTH FAIRY, YOU ARE NEXT.

  • James-Montana

    So is this like the “Onion News” or maybe the “Anti-Onion”

  • Proud Atheist

    This is why some people dislike Christians, you people are idiots. To be put quite simply, do you really think the holy instruments of God, Angels, would be susceptible to our own “unholy” human influence?

    No, I don’t, if you truly belive angels are God’s hand, then wouldn’t it make sense that they would be impervious to all but the Archangels, the Seraphs, and God himself? If God and His Angels existed, I don’t think we, as humans, could possibly do anything to harm them, if God is truly divine, omnipotent, and as loving as the Bible suggests, could he not simply “heal” the angels? Even better, could the angels just not simply heal themselves?

  • Sethjj1975

    Surely this is satire.

  • James

    Are Militant Atheists Using Chemtrails to Poison the Angels in Heaven? No, angels and chemtrails are both non-existant.

  • blahblahblahblah

    You know, you profess to be a Christian, yet your site name is disgusting, and your banner photo of the nearly nude muscly guy with a gun positioned in the place of an erect penis is even more disgusting. I don’t need some imaginary god to tell me it’s tasteless. Practice what you preach about morality, having this site name and that photo promotes lust…a SIN in YOUR holy book.

  • almaginnes

    You guys are serious? I thought this was The Onion on steroids…

  • Pete

    Wow. Why would you think that Atheists promote Islam? You do know what an Atheist is right? May want to look it up…

  • wisestwoman

    I’m guessing that this is a satire site. Please tell me that you are all intelligent comedians taking the mickey out of right wing conspiracy nutters. Please?

  • Gandalf’s Beard

    This seems too stupid, even for Alex Jones Acolytes. It has to be satire! Right???

    I mean, why on earth would Atheists want to kill Angels when we don’t even believe in them?

  • futiveglance

    I would rather me smoking the stuff than drinking the Cool Aid, Stephenson_Billings!

  • Jorg

    This IS a parody site, no? It’s the only conclusion I could reach after reading through it and realizing that my sides hurt from laughter. Good job!

  • http://eat-the-evidence.com Kimberly Chapman

    Well I wasn’t using chemtrails to poison angels but I am now! What a faboo idea! Thanks!

    VRRROOOOOM SQUIRRRRRT THUD THUD THUD WHEEEEEEEE!

  • http://eat-the-evidence.com Kimberly Chapman

    PS I’m a little concerned for your health now that I’ve noticed your bad case of GlowCrotch in your banner. You should have that looked at. You’re probably against science-based medicine so I recommend a lead kilt, which will also serve to keep your ‘nads safe from the Ruskies and their attempts to steal your precious bodily fluids.

  • akshelby

    The space station is trying to poison Heaven itself.

  • Pia

    dumbest shit I have ever read. Seriously? I mean really? Are you really that dumb America?

  • Mastodor

    Wow.

    This level of crazy is in a class of its own.
    It’s hard to even begin to construct a reply to this because there is no common ground for engagement.

    So, does that mean that cloud seeding attempts are actually rocket assaults on heaven and Jeezus? =P

    So nutty I need bread to go with it.

  • T.Giddy

    Reading this article is so frustrating to me. The author seems so determined that angels exist and all it takes to get rid of them is some chemicals in the air?

    I was raised to believe that the tooth fairy and Santa Claus exist but when I grew up I started to know better. This is exactly how I feel about religion. All you need is to just think about it. I’m an atheist but it doesn’t mean I hate everything. I love the world we live in and I want to protect it for as long as possible. There’s no need to constantly think about a god watching over you.. just live your life as best as you can.

  • Monica

    Anyone believing this needs to not be able to vote, make any important decisions at all, and definitely not procreate. If there’s any secret scheme from the government it’s that they want you to believe in god and Christianity so that way you’re too stupid to care about actual issues. I feel so sorry for you.

  • Branan Edgens

    I am not one prone to hyperbole so I say the following after a great deal of recollection and thought: This is the second most insane thing I have ever read on the internet. (The MOST insane thing I have ever read on the internet was from a group of conspiracy theorists who believe that Catholics are, in fact, a vampiric cult and the Pope was the head vampire) So… thank you?

  • tim

    Jesus! This site is better than The Onion!

  • Eric Pederson

    This is the best satire site I’ve found since the The Onion.

  • pauleen pants down

    Im an atheist as well and couldn’t help looking up some bible verses so all of you Christians who get on here all high and might are going to Hell according to the bible Quote ” Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. … ” I have no problem with ANY religion its the people who FORCE their beliefs on other I don’t agree with. everyone should be living in peace and harmony but they don’t because there are to many religions at war, I find it distasteful that people get on to these forums and JAM this crap down out throats then twist it to fit the view and then even worse use it as propaganda for religions. you belive what you belive, let others be and respect them and their views. and then maybe the world will become a better place. now watch all the negative comments come as pig heads have to fight and push there crap on us.

    • Kaylee-Aurora

      What does Christianity have to do with the fact that the gov’t is covering up the widespread use of Chemtrails? This is real and this is happening right now. And you don’t even care that the air is full of poisons…. You libtards love to try to distract from the issue and its pathetic that your so willing to give Obummer a pass on this one.

      • ThompsonSHunter

        Between “libtards” and “Obummer” it’s rather clear that you spend a lot of time on internet chat forums. I suspect that you are (you’re) one of those dopes who couldn’t spell (or misspell) out the difference between a liberal and a conservative to save your (your) worthless hide. Your butchery of the English language “its pathetic”- “your so willing” shows that you are (you’re) waging a losing battle against the evil apostrophe. Never mind the US federal government’s secret chemtrails program. It is (it’s) not real. It is (it’s) not happening right now. It is (it’s) simple fucking punctuation you need to worry about. Also, you freak-show thumpers of The Big Book of Parables need to keep your (your) silly-ass religious beliefs to yourself.

        • Stephenson_Billings

          Thanks for proving once again, Tom, that liberals are far too arrogant to grasp the implications of their hate. You are supporting an agenda that undermines awareness and liberty. Some day I hope you realize that.

          • ThompsonSHunter

            You’re an imbecile, and a lunatic imbecile at that. Let’s take your first sentence for example. “Liberals are too arrogant to grasp the implications of their hate.” – What does that even mean? How do you define “liberal”? Someone who doesn’t think the government is trying to poison angels via aerial spraying?

            Implications of their hate? Hate doesn’t “imply” anything. If someone says “I hate Pharisaic douchebags who cite scripture while spouting hatred for half of the American population.” that’s not an implication. It’s a straight on declaration.

            Second sentence “You are supporting an agenda that undermines awareness and liberty.”- Another collection of words that has, literally, no meaning. It’s complete mumbo-jumbo intended to sound like you have a firm grasp on what “awareness” and “liberty” even mean. My only agenda is pointing out crazy people when I see them. By awareness, do you mean the insight to spot a government plot to aerial spray angels to death? That’s not insight. That’s delusion. There are no angels, there never have been angels, and there never will be angels. If , however, there actually were entities called angels floating around up in the stratosphere, the very Book of Parables that taught you about angels also (should have) taught you that simple human poison wouldn’t effect them one bit. So your whole delusional premise is tragically flawed to begin with. As for the word “liberty,” do you mean basic human freedoms? Doesn’t the fact that you have been allowed to walk around without little men in white lab coats monitoring you tell you that Liberty is alive and well? (aside from homosexuals who obviously, according to you, don’t deserve the same freedoms you enjoy.)

            You sir, are a batshit crazy person, and I guarantee you that there will never come a day when you realize that. Ya see, crazy people don’t know they’re crazy.

      • Peter

        “gov’t is covering up” = “I have no evidence and I don’t want to really think about, or even look up on a reputable site on the internet, a logical reason because that might interfere with my wingnut political attitudes.”
        Ignorance is bliss, even if it does cause you to get your panties in a twist over nothing.

  • Sarah Israel

    Hahaha…this is the most ridiculous article I’ve read. Do you realize the “bottles of unknown chemicals” are actually material used to fight fires? yep, it’s a firefighting plane. Guess you need to do more research.

  • Pheckphul

    I find it quite interesting that someone as erudite as the author of this diatribe proffers such specious arguments.

    Surely, as God is purported to be simultaneously omnipotent and omniscient, mere men can have no effect upon angels. Likewise, nothing perpetrated by man here on Earth can have the slightest influence on the outcome God desires. Why fret about it? Wouldn’t you better serve God by spending your time singing hosannas?

  • Nearly Speechless

    You guys are fecking nuts.

  • Dermot Meuchner

    Hahahahaha, this is an Onion article right?

  • MJA114

    This was funny. But the baby pigeons one was hysterical! Good job, Mr. Billings.

  • Earthling3

    How is it even possible for the author to be that far removed from reality, and yet not be institutionalized?

  • marosteeha

    A GUY, HALF NUDE COVERED IN BABY OIL, WITH A GUN AND SOME KIND OF LIGHT COMING FROM HIS CROTCH?

    AND THE PAGE IS CALLED HARD DAWN!! AND THE INNUENDO OF THE GUN?

    COME ONE PEOPLE!!!!! CAN ANYONE REALLY TAKE THIS PAGE SERIOUSLY?

    • marosteeha

      oh yeah and that’s the pages header by the way…. this has to be a joke.

  • James

    You people can’t possibly be real. No one is this insane.

  • Innocent

    you had my interest until you expressed ridiculously ignorant and judgmental views of atheists. These hateful views are exactly what give Christians a bad name. Aren’t you supposed to love everybody, including the atheists? Aren’t you supposed to introduce atheists to Jesus? Do you really think attacking atheists is representative of your religion? Most importantly, do you really think you are representing Jesus? Jesus had many, MANY wise words, however, this represents NONE of them. This psuedo-intellectual opinion fluff piece reminds me of a specific quote:

    “what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have
    ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you
    even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.
    Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award
    you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

    and may God have mercy on your soul!

  • Cletus flinch

    And you people act surprised?

    I told you all that when barack osama passed the bill that atheists and devil worshipers would have another reason to attack the pentagon and now heaven.
    Lizard people will take over with their atheistic views and we true god loving americans will be hung and shot by these devil worshippers.
    How can we trust the government when they’ve lied about everything from the holocaust to the moon landings?
    wake up fools and embrace gods love, don’t let the atheists win

    I didn’t come from no monkey, only from gods love

    • Idon’tBelieveinBullshit

      LOL!

  • Lazz

    This writer’s brilliance approaches the Doug Kenny level.

  • Aaron

    Wow…… Wow….. Seriously??? Wow

  • http://www.bant-shirts.com BanTshirts

    Hilarious. Keep it up.

  • Tarek

    OK so I cant figure out if this site is parody or if these nut-jobs take themselves seriously. It’s like Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh took over The Onion.

  • SalarymaninSeoul

    You people are insane

  • doug

    Do you drink clean water ? Do you have electricity in your home ? Do you keep food in a refrigerator ? Have you ever traveled in an airplane ? have you used medicine ? if so you have enjoyed what science gives us everyday. Without science to protect us typhus, malaria and dengue fever would still be rampant in our communities and as you so clearly point out science saved us from these diseases not heavenly angels ( If there are angels they stood by and watched people die while doing nothing ) Scientists on the other hand worked as hard as they could developing a cure and prevention.

    Look at what science gives you then abandon every science based item in your life, phones computers cars electricity town water food from shops everything, live “naturally” for a month and see how much help you get from angels.

    Good luck

    • Stephenson_Billings

      I think you’re confusing science with the acts of God my friend. You would not be here and all these things would not be at your fingertips were it not for His Grace.

      • Idon’tBeliveinBullshit

        I really hope that your article is a satire. If not, you are just dumb as hell (or the idea of it).

  • Jake

    I can’t even get through this article without laughing. Apparently you don’t know the definition of Atheism.

    Atheism – the rejection of belief in the existence of deities.

    With that being said, this entire article is over before it even gets started.

    Funny, you say “atheists love pain. They love pain in their sexual rituals, in their drug addictions and in their secret globalist power schemes. Why do we have war? It’s the atheists who spread contempt of God and invite such reckless notions of communism and Islam.”

    I’m an atheist. I don’t participate in bizarre sexual rituals. I’ve never touched an illegal drug. And globalist power schemes…? haha. Why do we have war you ask. Ever heard of The Crusades? I have a great job. A beautiful wife and little girl and we couldn’t be happier. I don’t have any hate toward your deity. I can’t hate what I don’t even think exist. Your article lacks any kind of facts. It’s all opinionated bs. Looks like you would get along very well with Glenn Beck.

  • http://godless.biz Andrew Skegg

    This post gave me cancer.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      FALSE.

      • http://godless.biz Andrew Skegg

        Prove it.

  • Mark Kosberg

    Wait. Is this real?

  • kludge

    ROFLMAO! This guy. wow.

  • Alam Yisa

    Every body used to know that snowflakes are angel tears. Until our media was infiltrated by secret atheist scientists promoting an agenda of hate and disbelief. They are the devil’s tools, perverting us from the path of truth. We have strayed from His light. When will you do something and make the pain stop, Obama?

  • Jerred Davies

    Im an Australian so i don’t really care about American politics, but is this site for real? The stuff on here is the most brain-dead, moronic and just downright retarded. Militant Atheists, Marijuana cause ear maggots, seriously its sad that I’m in the same species as you people. As for people needing to follow christian values and accept God, Christian had its chance to rule the world, it was call the dark ages for a reason, everyone believed in god and stopped scientific progress for 500 years. Your faith is the cause of 90 percent of the worlds wars, that is not an unfounded statement that is a cold hard fact, stop screwing up the world by trying to force your beliefs on other people. The US has one of the poorest education systems in the world but is one of the most religious countries, its fine if you want to be stupid but dont let your stupidity be the downfall of the rest of the human race.

    • Idon’tBelieveinBullshit

      It has to be a satire! It is just too stupid.

  • Peter Naus

    Are you people for real? Chemtrails? Do you have the slightest grasp of chemistry? Physics? Fluid dynamics? Trade winds? Reality?

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Someone obviously didn’t have the attention span to read the article.

      • Peter Naus

        If you’re insinuating that I had a problem wading through the unsubstantiated claims (if the barrels in the image you posted contain unknown material, why did you post that image?) and nihilistic projection, then yes, I admit, my brain pretty much vomited at the “links” to the unsubstantiated “radical atheist movement” you drew.

        Now, I have no problem with you as a person. I hope you’re sitting somewhere comfortable, rested and well-fed, and for all I know, you have a cat called Cuddles, whose ears you’re scratching right now. That’s more or less what I’m doing, too.

        So right there, I’ve utterly destroyed your argument about “all atheists” hating and wanting to destroy your beloved faith. Period.

        Given that I’ve now refuted that, I’ll also state for the record that I do have a problem with your homophobia, but I’m not going to kill you because you have a small heart and little or no genuine compassion for people who differ from you.

        I also don’t have an issue with your paranoia, since that’s obviously a medical condition. I do have an issue with you not seeking treatment for it, though. That’s ineffably sad, but I absolutely respect your decision not to treat it.

        Would I, as an avowed atheist, jump in front of a bus to save you, sacrificing my life? Absolutely. No question. Even knowing what you think of me, as an atheist? Well, I might hesitate for a fraction of a second, but there’s always a chance you’ll come to your senses. So yeah, if it came to the crunch.

        Now, by your own religious standards, that would demonstrate true love for you, an abusive, deluded, paranoiac.

        • Stephenson_Billings

          I AM NOT PARANOID YOU FREAK

      • Peter Naus

        …damn ipad text limits…

        So, that destroys the rest of your argument regarding atheists.

        The real question is, would you do the same or me? Knowing that I’m an average, fairly representative atheist?

        I *think* the answer would be a resounding ‘no’, but I would be delighted to be surprised.

  • Simon Khoury

    I haven’t read so much total tripe in years. The reason why religion is in decline is not a conspiracy – its because people are thinking for themselves.

  • Paul M

    Parody? Please say so…

  • Has A Sense of Humor

    You know this is a hoax, right? Like The Onion? Seriously, people.

  • yfna

    those “barrels of unknown chemicals” in the photo… those are Ballast Barrels used in test flights of aircraft – they are filled with water to simulate passenger weight and movement during flight.

  • Simon Khoury

    Also the chemical tanks have been debunked http://metabunk.org/threads/debunked-chemtrail-plane-interior-ballast-barrels.661/ they are ballast tanks used to simulate the weight of passengers in flight tests of prototype aircraft.

    • donny2

      that website is a left wing nuthouse of bullshit. total propaganda and every one knows it.

  • rutguys

    I live in New Jersey and we have daily chemtrail activity here. Chemclouds are in the sky every morning when I leave for work at 7. The chemcloud are heavy when I go home at 4pm too. Some times they are low in the sky and I don’t think they spray when it rains. I dont know what they are doing but it very concentrated here. Makes me wonder if they are trying to focus on New Jersey for some reason or at least the Montclair region.

  • captain obvious

    chemtrails are bio-weapons and should be outed publicly.

    they have dimmed natural sunlight approximately 20%, according to NASA..
    plant life needs sunlight to convert CO-2 into oxygen, so how is it that CO-2 is “evil”?
    crippling plants photosynthesis ability isnt “evil”? it isnt gonna raise CO-2 levels?

    the micro particles of aluminum are toxic to all life, changing the soils’s Ph, damaging plants.
    why are Monsanto and Cargill developing aluminum resistant strains for GMO crops?
    (fake food that has been shown to be harmful, with those studies hushed up!)

    chemtrails DO reflect sunlight away, also causing high pressure systems to push storms around,
    this can cause areas that’d normally get rain, to suffer drought, cause other areas to be flooded,
    drought or flood can ruin crops, bankrupt farmers, for the land to be sold at forclosure prices after.
    the UN forbids using weather as a weapon on another country, but not a country against its own.

    chemtrails also blanket the Earth to unnaturally hold the heat IN,
    by selective temperature readings, they can fabricate results to fit their agenda at whim.
    places with record cold during winter, omitted to reflect higher averages? really? YES!!
    Indiana gov Mitch did exactly that just a couple years ago, DC was iced over for an IPCC meeting.
    (as if he were against the carbon tax scammers, now aint that a hoot?)

    if more people understood it, these bio-weapon attacking chemtrail planes might be shot down.
    the FAA says these flights dont exist, so if they were knocked down would there be a crash site?
    (if a tree fell in the forest and no one was around to hear it, did it make a sound?)
    gee, I wonder why they’ve limited the 2nd amendment to “hunting rifles”..)

    according to ex USAF pilot Robert Bowman, they’ve been able to stop hurricanes for decades..
    Florida gets flattened every couple of years. if you had a stick home, insurers replace it in kind..
    havent these insurers ever read “the Three Little Pigs” ?!!

    if the homes were replaced with reenforced interlocking concrete slab construction, a few bucks more, most peoples future claims might be some siding, some shingles, and maybe a couple broken windows.

    -oh but that’d be depriving construction jobs and a lowering of insurance rates.. cant have THAT, right?

    human suffering and loss is great for their “business”, and consumerism replacement items..
    that is of course, if the people manage to survive to be able to MAKE a claim..
    concrete slab homes might lower heating and cooling costs too, heaven forbid!

    homes in Florida is just something as example, about how these “corporate people” think!
    newer homes in “tornado alley” dont have any storm cellar safe havens, why exactly?
    “they might be used as nuclear bomb shelters”? ok for govt to have DUMB’s tho…

    this govt spends billions every year for their chemtrail bio-weapon attacks against us all,
    they burn many millions of gallons of fuel to do it, and WE get to pay for it at the gas pumps too!
    jet fuel is high grade diesel-kerosene, costs less to refine it, but truckers are paying MORE?
    I wonder what the “carbon footprint” of all these non-existent flights add up to being..
    so not only is it a bio-weapon attack, this is also an attack on our real economy,
    harming crops, hiking prices on transporting the food to WE THE PEOPLE, and.. lets not forget the terrorism..

    threatening to impose “carbon taxes”, farmers terrified of losing their land,
    Monsanto “winning” for patent theft every time their GMO crap contaminates REAL crops…
    damn.

  • Django

    Jesus-titty-fucking-Christ. What the fuck have you imbeciles been smoking? Atheists don’t believe in God, therefore, they do not believe in Angels. This has to be the single most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read. Seek psychiatric help. You’re nuttier than squirrel poo.

  • Joy

    Too late Angles went extinct with Dinosaurs.

  • Yojimbo Billions

    What’s with the logo at the top of this page? A topless, oiled Adonis with a machine-gun erection rising out of a blaze of holy light? Wait, are you the “radical homosexuals” everybody keeps talking about but don’t actually exist? Groovy logo, everybody. I love it. Hot as hell.

  • tigerwallah

    You’re on to us!

    • Idon’tBelieveinBullshit

      That Kaylee-Aurora really thinks that she has it all figured out. I’d watch out for her. ;)

  • 3674me21341

    It just seems like every day America is getting worse and no one really cares any more. I think the poisons in our medicine and the water flouride and now the air it is like they are out to kill us a slow and painful death and it was not always this bad but since Obama everything had got so much worse abd Bush was pretty bad but I did not realize it then. Sort of makes you think right? Is America ever really going to wake up or are we truly truly stuck in the Matrix because I feel like its all Matrix all the time now.

    • Kaylee-Aurora

      Keep the faith my friend. We can change this world if we all agree to do it.

  • redacted for security

    If the athiests go to this much trouble they must really be afraid of Jesus is love.

  • IsItReal

    Holy shit! I honestly thought this was a satire site, like the Onion, until I started reading the author’s comments below. Please tell me this site is a joke. I mean, from the absurd headlines to the subtly homoerotic soldier with light-emitting dong in the banner, there’s no way this can be serious.

    • Kaylee-Aurora

      Maybe its time you shut up and listen for a change? When was the last time you libtards actually had an open mind?

      • batman dad

        yeah you really dont get to call anyone unlistening when you say shit like “libtards” you dumb cow

      • Idon’tBelieveinBullshit

        Are you really this big of a dumbass? Surely, you’re faking your ignorance?

    • Gango Banga

      Yes. It is satire.

  • truthandliberty44

    Liberal media has a total blackout on anything chemtrail related even though people report this shit going down nearly every day. Just look up at the sky. The people getting sick in America are more proof. Please don’t believe what the MSM tries to sell you. The are part in the propaganda machine and have no desire to report on it.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Thank you for the support! And I agree 100%! Drop the mainstream media and find the truth elsewhere!

  • GuestyGuesty

    …wait guys…. surely planes can’t fly as high as the angels right… so how are they being poisoned by chemtrails falling on them??
    Maybe there were chemicals in @Stephenson_Billings:disqus antique soda bottles which influenced this article :P

  • Idon’tBelieveinBullshit

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THIS????

  • Worried of Weybridge

    love good comedy – especially from the people who pretend to believe the ‘Aprils fools’ stuff!

  • Whisky Mac

    God bless america, the art of comedy is kept alive and well. The junky socialist hoardes of Scotland requireuour enlighted ways to help them see the light and to protect them from evil and damnation.

  • Michelos

    I am atheist but I really it’s the first time I saw this kind of disbelief by “people of the church”!
    This article made my day!
    Thanks!

  • Brian Jarreau

    WOW dude…. you are BAT SHIT INSANE! -you will not be invited to motivationally entertain my children… PSYCHO!

  • MathieuLeCochon

    This is just ridiculous!

  • Unbelievable gods

    May be they also killed all the god already! Do not panic, just keep being good using the golden rule, and everything will remain the same.

  • ShuFliShu

    Hahaha…I didn’t know there was another site out there like The Onion. This place is great!

  • arbitrarychoice

    Yes. Yes ,we are. And we’re innoculating ourselves against the effects with homosexuality.

  • Ridiculous

    Err is the author of this really suggesting that contrails (consisting of water vapour) are really a conspiracy to kill angels?

  • Calm down

    There’s only about 2 Christians commenting against 100 no believers. Do you really have to attack them the way you are.. No one is pushing no one to believe anything. If it can’t be a loving normal convo. Than everyone exit. I will not be coming back to read any post so I will not be reading any replies. But I will leave with this. Science always has to come from something to make something. Something had to start science, what do u think that was. And also I have nothing against gays but how is it right if they can’t reproduce.

    • Derby Mack

      Who made you Queen of the message board? We really prefer idiots like you not visit our website. This is our world, not a playground for idiot liberals who would rather pursue sin than sanctity.

  • Rebecca Glesener Davis

    Omigod, you are insane.

  • Col

    Is this website for real? I’ve never read so much deluded nonsense in my life. Is it all a joke or something?

  • atheistsdon’tbelieveinangels

    You idiots, atheists don’t believe in angels. Whoever wrote this page is easily the stupidest person I have ever heard of if they really believe that.

  • unixhed

    You don’t want no education, you are into thought control . ..

  • BadassQuiat

    Everyone knows that angels don’t breathe Earth air. Duhhh.

  • rick

    This is the most ridiculous piece of trash I’ve ever seen And if you truly believe if you really need to reevaluate how gullible you are First of all how are you going to kill a spiritual being with chemtrails Absolutely ridiculous

  • pixeloid

    The most insane nonsense I’ve ever seen. Oh, how I wish we had scientists running things instead of ignorant, delusional right-wing religious fanatics.

  • Thomas Bennett

    Well I have proof now. You CAN be a complete lunatic and have just as much presence on the internet as if you were a normal human being with some semblance of the ability to employ critical thinking skills.

    Next up, the Trix Rabbit…is he really after Trix or is it a clever ploy to distract us from the global conspiracy to install Count Chocula as the world’s supreme overlord?

    • Stephenson_Billings

      I see you have a photograph of a show glorifying drug addiction and vlolence as your little symbol there. I guess that says all we need to know about your psyche Thomas. I find it rather ludicrious that imbeciles like you are so tough on the internet, spouting off on topics you barely understand, when the truth would honestly set your mind free, but force you to work a little bit. I guess you don’t like working your mind, you lazy freak. Save your comments for the next ACORN Occupy meeting, nutcase.

  • Zyborggian

    This is hilariously stupid. Just wow.

  • Your Mom

    I laughed too hard at this

  • Dave

    This. Is, Hilarious.

  • Nope

    ARE YOU A BUNCH OF FUCKING RETARDS?!! BAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

  • Athiest_the_way_of_Life

    How in the fuck is this guy an award winning investigative journalist. Really? Was he given his award after poisoning all of the other candidates? Crop dusting for “angels.” I have never heard of anything that is this level of retarded in an article and I read yahoo news quite often. Even they cannot put together something so wrought with narrow minded religious brainwashed dribble.

  • Brain owner

    “Barrels of unknown chemicals are stored in the body of a “chemtrails” plane.” are in reality water barrels in a test plane simulating the weight of future passengers. It is because atheist scientists do not put faith in god, but believe in testing stuff before using people :-)

    Like any narrow headed dumbwit “President George W. Bush famously fought against the scientists entrenched in his administration.” You are right about that.

    Dr. Stephenson Billings may I ask you a simple question, where did you store your brain while writing something as dumb as this article?

  • Natedawg

    wow do me a favour and shoot me in the head now, how can some people be so fucking retarded and yet possess no mental illness?

  • Catherine

    Thank you for some of the biggest laughs I’ve had in a while. It’s plain that this is a satire site (along the lines of The Obion). People this nuts wouldn’t be on the Internet.; they’d be holed up in a cave, using a periscope to peer out through a tiny hole up top while frantically readjusting their tin foil hats. This is funny as hell. You’ve amused all the atheists and gotten the saner Christians to roll their eyes, while getting the potential tin hatters to slobber like one of Pavlov’s dogs. Most amusing.

  • ZenZero

    Why would atheists try to kill something they don’t think is real? Faith is gullibility.

    • acornwebworks

      This guy has yet to figure out that a lack of belief in deities includes a lack of belief in the things associated with them…like heaven and hell, angels and demons…and even “Satan” :-)

      His lack of understanding of atheism, much less atheists, is appalling. Leads to some truly hysterical “conclusions” on his part.

  • zuberi

    This article is nothing but absurdity and hatefulness. It is extremely offensive.

  • Michael C. Thompson

    If atheists know angels are real then how the fuck can they be called atheists? I’m just going to assume this is a satire website, but the fact that there is even a question shows you just how retarded the level of discourse in America has come.

  • Charles R. Ingrao

    I guess this author believes that reason, logic and science is wrong, but belief in gods and monsters is right. Like how he uses former President Bush as fighting for values, like starting an illegal war in Iraq, that has killed 4,500 Americans and tens of thousands of Iraqis.

  • Gabriel Seguy

    fuckin retards

  • I.P. Frehley

    Hahaha holy shit you’re insane.

  • Raf

    So where are all these dead/dying angles? Why aren’t they falling down to Earth? Also you call them chemtrails, I call them vapour trails, and they form for the VERY SAME reason that you can see car exhaust fumes on a cold day but not on a hot day. So by your argument car fumes are chemtraisl aswell so stop poisinging everyone (including angels) and stop driving. Let’s see just how hardcore are you.

  • Nicholas Goroff

    The crack you don’t smoke is better than the crack you do.

  • Matt Ranson

    WTF? Is this website like “The Onion” or is this supposed to be serious?

  • Obamaisadork

    Obama is a dork

  • Kton Meletzke

    cant get along? one persons party is better than the others? thats what they say. theyre all alike..learn to agree to disagree and come to understand that no one is really in control

  • Sam Iezzi

    Why would an atheist kill something they don’t believe exists… -_-… Common sense is not ammused by this load of crap

  • Sam Iezzi

    Except that your economy is recovering from the 08 recession that happened under bush. And you dare mention ben hazi? How about the thousands that died under bush? Do they mean nothing somply because bush was a republican?

  • Nekko Mason Erickson

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Oh wait, you’re serious.

    Let me laugh harder!

    AAAAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!

  • TheBrownDog

    Atheism is a religion in the same way that:

    – “Off” is a TV channel
    – “Not knitting” is a hobby.
    – “Not taking drugs” is an addiction

  • Kyle Wagner

    I think his own biography dismisses his credibility.
    Dr. Stephenson Billings is an award-winning Investigative
    Journalist, Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda
    Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!

    He has to be playing an angle. If he isn’t and he is serious, then I envy this man for his natural abilities to make laugh.

  • Trulahn

    Is this page sponsored by either the KKK, Neo-Nazi, or other white supremacist groups? Talking about another level of crazy.

  • guest666

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! 1)Atheists don’t believe in angels 2) Do you think heaven is actually just up in the clouds and all the angels are just hanging out in the atmosphere where they can be gassed? Is the earth littered with the invisible bodies of poisoned angels?

  • JeZES

    Religion is for the retarded

  • RoboYak

    There are some things to be noted here:
    1. It is really refreshing to see all these commenters thinking freely, and going through logical thought processes. I definitely grew up around some religious people that said things not too far off of the crazy that is here. Not only did they believe it, but they convinced others of it too.
    2. I totally get the satire. There might have been some question in my mind if it wasn’t for the Hard Dawn penis soldier, and Stephenson’s “Blessed Package” among with some other stuff. Curious what the goal is out of the site though. I can see it causing a stir, and maybe the ability to question available information is a tool set that is picked up by more people when they read other arguments presented by people already with those talents. If I were Stephenson Billings though I would worry that just like other religious ideas, that this satire is close enough to the real flavor of christianity that these things could cause some real harm if a group of fanatics were to get a hold of them.

  • Atheist Sex Cultist

    Anyone who believes the drivel in this article is a very special kind of stupid. Please….PLEASE do NOT procreate!

  • Poke117

    Considering that the entire Christian Religion is based off of the bible, which I have seen no hard evidence proving its theories or that god is real. The entire christian religion is based off faith and not hard evidence. But when an atheist uses proven data it is a conspiracy against Christianity. If Atheists wanted to bring down Christianity, we wouldn’t have to do anything. Simply, let the various religions fight among each other and attempt to fault Atheists who mind their own business and ask for the same. I see more hateful Christians then hateful Atheists. Christians burning the Qur’an or picketing soldiers funerals out of the belief of god. What ever happened to the KKK, weren’t they religious too. However, I don’t judge, people are people regardless of the religion, race or sex. People religious or atheist all commit acts of violence. But I am sorry to say this, but I have seen more Christians twist facts around to prove their ideas. Just because your a Christian does not make you a good person and just because you are atheist does not mean you hate Christians. And this whole freaking out about separation between church and state, get over it. We are a country with multiple religions and races. And I firmly believe in the separation of church and state, to fully provide freedom of religion, our country cannot favor any particular religious beliefs.

  • cunningStunts

    Ah you religious, right-wing, idiots never fail to give intelligent people a good laugh. Keep up the good work, you fools.

  • Cellidor

    Ahhh haha…This was a great read, I needed a laugh, and this did just the trick!
    Fun thing about the “Barrels of unknown chemicals”, did you know that commercial airliners often install large drums of water inside of planes during test flights where passengers would normally sit in order to mimic the change in center of gravity made by living passengers moving around? Interesting stuff!

  • Sheparoo

    Chemtrails are made of the most dangerous chemical known to mankind. Dihydrogen Monoxide. Dihydrogen monoxide posioning occurs when a persons lungs become completely saturated with it. Other ways dihydrogen monoxide can kill involve ingesting large quantities and causing brain swelling.
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha this has really amused me.

  • Dave Lanson

    Could one of you nutcakes please explain how atheists could target angels for destruction when they don’t believe angels exist?

  • Dave Lanson

    Go collect some bottles you “award-winning” journalist. Ha Ha. That’s a real fairy tale.

  • Gary

    I find it hard to believe this level of profound ignorant superstition exists. I am a believer…but I am laughing my ass off at the insanity of you nutcakes. Thank goodness NO ONE takes you seriously or faith of any kind would be a complete laughing stock.

    UNLESS – This is a total satire site in which case I say good job. Way to illustrate the insanity that is extreme fundamentalism.

  • James Von Borcke

    Drats! You’ve found us out! But it’s mostly too late to do anything about it; we’ve plucked most of those flying pests out of the sky already. Ain’t but a half-dozen or so left.

  • Abel Plotstein

    Now that I think about it, I’m quite sure that this just broke the record of the stupidity of human beings.

  • Todd Sheets

    This reads like an article from The Onion. I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be serious or funny. If satire: Ha ha ha. If serious: What?!?

  • Gid

    This is absolutely hilarious. Combining my two favourite groups of idiots. Chem trail conspiracy nutters and bible nutters.
    Thanks for the laugh , that was great.

  • Asher

    Lesbian Illuminati would be an awesome band name.

  • Todd Sheets

    You and logic have not even crossed paths. Your scandals have all been disproven. The stock market has been hitting all time highs. The debt has been cut in half since President Obama has taken office. The record unemployment happened during the G.W. Bush presidency and has been going down since.

    You live in an alternate universe as evidenced by your crazy article above.

  • Drew Baye

    This has to be the dumbest thing I have ever read.

  • Tim Fulton

    LMAO! When superstition devolves into paranoia, this is the result.

  • Asher

    It’s all a dry-run for when Jesus comes back, and we gas him too! That’s right Christians. laugh now, but soon we Atheists will have destroyed both God and the Devil and rule over Heaven, Hell and Earth!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Asher

    Gotta say, that guy on the banner with the gun is one sexy sexy son of a bitch. I’d like to see him sipping from my Sam Houston!

  • Stan Ubeki

    Atheism is to religion as “off” is to television.

    Anyone who can’t grasp the concept of “contrails” should go back to grade school science class.

    Ask a science teacher how a liquid becomes “hyper-heated” by being allowed to boundlessly expand at 40,000 feet altitude.

  • Milton E. Findley

    Doctor Stephenson Billings? What is that doctorate in Steve? Theology? That is not even a subject, much less a field of study/

  • Stan Ubeki

    ODS = Obama Derangement Syndrome. This is a textbook case. The denial of your racism is so deep you have to create something fantasmagorical to justify it in your own conscience.

  • wallywhack

    This is, without question, the best parody site on the Internet. And that banner photo above the homosexual agenda tab. The best. A lampoon for the ages. Nice work.

  • Stan Ubeki

    Kaylee: I just looked at your tweets. You are so freaking crazy I think you may be a parody.

  • anonymous

    Dear admins and site owners of hard dawn.
    YOUR BACKWATER ZEALOTRY AND WORTHLESS DEVOUT FAITHFULNESS IN YOUR MAN IN THE SKY, AND USING YOUR RELIGION TO COVER AND DISGUISE YOUR OWN HATE FUELED AGENDA. IT IS FOR THIS REASON WE HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE ACTION. IN EXACTLY ONE WEEK FROM NOW, YOUR SITE WILL BE SUBJECTED TO SEVERAL DDOS ATTACKS, AND THIS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL YOU RELINQUISH OF YOUR SITE, AND/OR SHUT IT DOWN. 2/11/2014

    WE ARE ANONYMOUS, WE ARE LEGION, WE DO NOT FORGIVE, WE DO NOT FORGET. EXPECT US.

  • 混沌

    I like the part when most of the commenters here don’t understand what a satirised article is.

  • Edward Semprini

    This is the one of the biggest pieces of bull crap i have ever read. How is this even plausible to some people? Please don’t breed.

  • BoomerMan

    How can atheists fear something they believe to NOT exist. Do you fear an attack from Unicorns? Worry about a little Leprechaun sneaking into your bedroom at night? C’mon….

  • Eric Youngstrom

    Wow we can kill angels?! SWEET! I am gonna get one stuffed and have it in my den next to the fireplace.

  • Karen Mitchell

    How do the Atheists protect themselves from the chemtrail fallout? I don’t see them running around in hazmat suits, respirators and all that stuff. I never got a memo on how to protect me and those I love while poisoning everyone around me. And how come we don’t witness any aftermath? With Agent Orange, there was no mistaking where it had been sprayed; you could see the devastation. And don’t tell me about a dog in the neighborhood who died. Now if a whole neighborhood of dogs (cats, birds and anything else outside) up and died all at once, you’d have my attention.

    I’m 57 and when I was a kid, big trucks would drive thru our ‘hood spraying DDT for mosquito control. We’d ride our bikes in the spray behind the trucks. Me, my kids and grandkids are all healthy and fine.

    Finally: “scientism”? Really? You’re trying to make science into an “ism”? In your indoctrinated world, is there mathism? Or physicsism? Bilogism? Anthropolygism? Evolutionism? Etc……………

  • AL

    The Only crime i’m committing as an atheist right now is against my intelligence trying to listen to this horrifying stupidity coming from this bible thumper.

  • AL

    Japan is actually majority Shinto Buddhist last I checked unless shit changed in the last 5 years.

  • Mike

    You realize the gospels of the new testament were written almost a century after Jesus’ death. So they don’t prove anything, least of all his existence. They weren’t even written by eyewitnesses.

  • Mike

    lel this has to be satire; no one can be this retarded. good troll 10/10.

  • Nathan Graham

    If President was truly this “crazed, atheist, muslim, socialist, communist, liberal, homosexual, tyrant” that you claim he is wouldn’t he have already used his army of “lesbian feminist atheist girl scouts” to round all the “Freedom and liberty loving, god fearing, true Americans” up and put you in the “FEMA indoctrination camps” so he could more easily “poison you with Chemtrails”? I mean as a ruthless dictator I would have to say Obama is a total failure seeing that you and you wingnut friends, Glenn Beck and Bryan Fischer are still freely walking the streets spewing your insane nonsense.

  • Mike

    lel see
    > the Catholic inquisition
    > the Crusades
    > French Wars of Religion
    > Salem Witch Trials
    > Annhilation of the Aztecs
    I can go on for days. “Do Atheists commit more crimes.” lel’d so hard.
    best troll I’ve ever seen this guy. 10/10

  • dingus
  • Ferd Berfel

    Great Satire site!

  • Ricardo Fernández

    Is this The Onion? Atheists don’t believe in god, much less in angels.

  • Stephenson_Billings

    I’m sorry little lady, but if you sincerely wish to be taken seriously in this day and age, please refrain from using cap locks. This may be acceptable when you text your mother on Snap Chat, but when you’ve graduated high school and entered the world of adulthood, it is rather silly and annoying. Do you mean to be silly and annoying? The “doom & gloom” tone of your little message did give me a chuckle, however. Maybe you’d be happier posting such nonsense to Reddit? Clearly the chemtrails have eroded your cognitive thinking. Rather sad when this happens to someone so very young. God bless and be healthy, princess.

  • Randy Lutz

    This is some of the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read.

  • Randy Lutz

    “scandals” lol. Like that word even means anything anymore after the past 5 years of right wing whining at EVERYTHING Obama does or doesn’t do.

  • Randy Lutz

    Atheists don’t hate your god or any other any more than adults hate Santa. They just don’t believe in your goofy, childish fairy tales. How is that hard to grasp?

  • Randy Lutz

    Atheists are clearly MUCH more moral people than theists. This is just basic common sense.

  • William Jackson

    Wait, I thought this was something from The Onion.

  • Sir Raider Duck, OMS

    Well done! This is one of the better Poes I’ve read.

  • Dustin Green

    Is it possible that the facts were invented? What makes something miraculous? If something happens that I can’t explain is it a miracle? What if I make something up, and scientists can’t explain it, is that a miracle?

  • Pondz

    Why would an atheist try to kill something he doesn’t believe exists? Expanding on the subject, if you don’t believe in something, then how would you research what materials would be best used to fulfil such an urge?

    Even ignoring the outright ridiculous nature of this article, the fact that you’ve over looked a major flaw in your own argument kind of discredits everything else you have to say, which incidentally, is all a bit mental.

    Keep it up though, these articles are fucking hilarious!

  • Dustin Green

    I could kill myself with Cannabis. If I got high, built an elaborate pulley-system to hoist an eighty pound bale of marijuana thirty feet over my own head
    , then dropped the bale. The point is I could kill myself with cannabis.

  • Barry Lyons

    Yes, that would be a clever way to kill yourself. Worthy perhaps of a Monty Python routine.

  • John Palmer

    … are you really that stupid?

  • PlacidAir

    This site HAS to be “satire” — I just can’t believe anyone is actually this nuts and still able to put together a web site that functions. Good grief.

  • Gina

    This is a spoof.

  • Celia Jenkins

    Okay, normally I ignore things like this. I am not one to jump into someone else’s opinion and try to correct them, but this is lunacy. The vapor trails that you see at the backs of airplane engines are no different than the exhaust coming out of the back of your car. They are a byproduct of the fuel burning process used to keep the plane aloft. Angels, if you will read the bible you appear to love so much, do not take an active role in every day life. They are guides, yes, but they do not hover over you and make you feel bad when you say a swear word. They are the messangers of God, the scribes and warriors of his host that enforce his will when necessary. Atheists do no hate God or Christianity and they use far more common sense than you have shown in this entire article. Atheists simply wish for the right to believe as they see fit, no different from you and it is radicalist thinking like this that is creating a gap between Christians and the rest of the world. If you want God and Christianity to be accepted, then things like this need to stop. Your religion has a controlling share of the percent of the planet, meaning that there are more people practicing Christianity WORLDWIDE than ANY OTHER RELIGION. You are no under attack. No one is trying to silence you. But it is dogmatic thinking like this and a victim mentality that is undeserved that started the pull away from Christianity in the first place. Just because we are using science to unravel the mysteries of the world does not mean we are “killing angels” or moving away from God. We are simply using the tools HE GAVE US to understand the world HE MADE FOR US a little better. Now, I know I will get a lot of negative feedback on this, but I honestly don’t care. I am Christian and I am sick of getting dirty looks and rolled eyes simply from being related to people like you. You give us all a bad name and should stop this nonsense before you cause any more damage.

  • Will

    Is this guy retarded? Christians have started way more wars than athesists

  • Colin

    First, DDT was banned NOT for its effects on humans, but on birds. It causes the shells of their eggs to become so thin that they crack open and kill the chick inside.

    Second, they are CONTRAILS, not so-called ‘chemtrails’. First noticed in large numbers during WWII when bombers flew at altitudes and temperature combinations that caused water vapor to condense into long thin clouds. Tones of stills and film on the net showing this effect. The people who believe this BS simply don’t understand-I have worked on aircraft, and have NEVER seen a single tank that holds these chemicals. No tanks, no chemicals, no trails.

  • ANON

    Sorry Obamabot. Nice try, though. We heard all these lies on CNN.

  • Diego Keretzky Crusius

    wait. What?! I don’t even

  • Stephenson_Billings

    “Messangers”?!? It’s hard to take you seriously if you can’t even spell basic words.

  • Mark Craven

    If Atheism is a Religion then OFF must be a TV channel.

  • http://www.hollenart.com/ djhollen

    (Pssst…this whole site is satire.)

  • Andrew Bufalo

    While Shinto and Buddhism are the largest religions in Japan, the majority of Japanese identify as non-religious.

  • FBI Agent 007

    This is why Government and politicians call us “sheep”. Why does one political party fight the other, one side or the other? You may call yourselves whatever you want, but i will not fall victim to either side’s banter and b******t. I believe in a unified country that doesn’t squabble like a bunch of little catholic school girls at a buddhist ceremony. I mean the angels are dying, obama is the destroyer, democrats and republicans are complete morons yada yada yada. We must unify with each other or be left behind in our senseless crap.

  • Chuck

    What is Michael Brown doing now? He did such a stellar job as the head of FEMA. His tenure as Judges and Stewards Commissioner for the International Arabian Horse Association and a deep wallet were the only qualifications he needed to be head of FEMA. Maybe he can take over NASA and get rid of those pesky scientists and Ph. D’s that are running it now.

  • Phillip Mitchell

    Dr. Stephenson Billings is an award-winning Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!

    Clearly satire.

  • Phillip Mitchell

    Also it’s ‘Hard Dawn’ with a suggestive glistening man with a gun boner. This is clearly satire, people.

  • Chuck

    One problem with the entire premise of this nutcase article. Aetheists don’t believe in God or Angels. So the idea they are trying to kill something they don’t believe is is INCREDIBLY stupid.

  • Patrick Carney

    Maybe if you were in office angels wouldnt be on the endangered species list. Use your platform as a motivational childrens party entertainer to kickstart a tea party candidacy. Might have to wash off the make up and take off your clownshoes before you go on Glenn Beck though. Everytime someone votes for you an angel gets a gas mask.

  • Dave J.

    You wrote a piece alright… a piece of crap.

  • David Rice

    On a spoof scale of from 0 to 1,000 I give this a 21. Try harder.

  • David Rice

    “How many liberal scandals do we need….”

    As soon as a “liberal scandal” happens, how about telling someone, m’kay? Thank you in advance.

  • Rikki

    Wow. This article is unbelievably hateful. You call yourself a Christian? Being Christian means loving and accepting your fellow man for all his faults. I’m atheist and I can assure you that I don’t wallow in pain and suffering and hate Christians and what they believe. I work hard, I’m in a serious committed relationship, and considering a career in health care. I don’t care what you believe or don’t believe as long as it doesn’t affect my life. Saying these spiteful and hurtful things about atheists is so unchristian and hypocritical. We’re hateful? Re-read your article and tell me who is the hateful one.

  • Jake

    On behalf of the apparently not-so-Secret Global Atheist Conspiracy, I’d like to applaud you for your work. Really, it’s pretty top notch. Not sure how you found out about us, since we’re supposed to be a secret – I’m calling a meeting to fix that (Janine, if you’re reading this, you’re on donut detail).

    But now that you have found out about us, I thought I’d explain a few things. First, I’d like to explain that we have nothing to do with poisoning the angels with chemtrails. Our chemtrails only work against leprachauns, unicorns, trolls, fairies, grumpkins, and wood elves. The angels should be unaffected, if our research is any good (and I mean, c’mon, if anyone knows scientific research, it’s us). They also shouldn’t be making people less religious – we’re pretty sure your stories about women and gays take care of that all on their own.

    Second, we don’t shudder at the thought of love. We might gag a little when people are all lovey-dovey in public (ugh, get a room why dontcha?) but all in all, we do understand what it feels like to love or be loved by someone or something. We don’t all enjoy pain in our “sex rituals”- some of us do engage in some light BDSM, but then, some of you Christians enjoy some too deep down, amiright? I mean, they don’t call it the missionary position for nothing.

    Sex doesn’t always take the form of a ritual for us. We’re normally pretty against ritualistic behavior… including Islam, not sure why you’d think we like that either. I’ll happily send out our memos on the subjects, published in the last year’s February issue of “Secret Atheist Global Conspiracy Monthly.” They are titled “Hang Up Your Sex Robes For Good!” and “Islam: Still Another Religion We Don’t Believe In.”

    Finally, I’m not sure what the connection is between Atheism and Communism. You may have us confused with the Secret Global Communist Conspiracy there – it’s an honest mistake, happens all the time. I’ll let them know you were looking for them.

  • Roy

    Hey, Jake – our server monitors flagged your comment for mentioning us. After reading the article, I just want the readers to know we at the Secret Global Communist Conspiracy have nothing to do with this. We just want the proletariat to rise up against their masters and beat their swords into plowshares.

    And to stop confusing us with President Obama – that guy is definitely not a communist. Trust us, we’d know.

    I’ll put out a feeler to the other secret global conspiracies, maybe they know something we don’t. I mean poisoning angels? That’s pretty messed up.

  • Harold

    Hey guys, Harold from the Secret Global Jewish Conspiracy here. Great party last week, by the way.

    I asked around, no one knows anything about chemtrails. We’re too busy dominating the banking system and global politics to worry about poisoning angels. But whoever is doing this is a bunch of schmucks.

  • Intergalactic Lizard King

    RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

    -Intergalactic Lizard King

  • ThatGuy

    Welcome to the horror of the revelation
    Tell me what you think of your savior now
    I reject all the biblical views of the truth
    Dismiss it as the folklore of the times
    I won’t be force fed prophecies
    From a book of untruths for the weakest mind
    I keep the bible in a pool of blood
    So that none of its lies can affect me

  • Brynja Knapp

    This article has to be some kind of crazy Poe? It can’t be real? I mean, they let people this completely whack job insane near computers??.. or maybe this particular website is not owned by a company…mayhap it is just one crazy human. Still… It was hilarious for the sheer ridiculousness of it, and horrifying because the author ACTUALLY believes this (if it is not a poe). Wow…

  • Derek Snow

    What what? Didn’t the failing economy, our record debt, and record unemployment start under Bush’s administration?

  • JRAE

    Is this a joke? I grew up in a Bible-belt conservative Christian home and I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t find this wacky. Please tell me it’s satire?

    Ummmm….this: “It’s the atheists who spread contempt of God and invite such reckless notions of communism and Islam.”

    Islam is by definition not athiest.

    Again, just hoping this is satire.

  • Derek Snow

    If atheists don’t believe in god, they don’t believe in angles why would someone be trying to kill something they don’t believe exists???

  • Maleficent

    LIZ! You crazed party animal, you. Still nursing that hangover, I’d imagine. You still need to show me that trick you do with your legs – Jake raved about it at our last sex ritual.

    Seriously, Communists, we had a blast last week at your party after the Secret Global Conspiracy Convention. See you next year!

    Also, on behalf of the Secret Global Satanic Conspiracy, we’re not poisoning angels either. And there’s no heaven, just darkness. Beautiful, beautiful darkness.

  • Jake

    Secret Global Atheist Conspiracy folks, if you’re reading this, I haven’t betrayed you. It was a one-time sex ritual, and I didn’t even stay for the end. And we all know the end is the best part. Just clearing the air on that – I want you to all know I’m a dedicated atheist.

  • Derek Snow

    You know without science you shouldn’t be able to post this crap online. If you think science is so damaging stop reaping the profits of the advances it’s given us.

  • Janine

    Seriously? I got donuts last time.

    Oh, and I know about you and Mal and your sex rituals. I’m staying with my mom’s for a while. You disgust me.

  • Janine

    He may be a dedicated atheist, but he’s a shit boyfriend.

    And Mal, I can’t believe you would do me. I thought we were friends, and then you brought my boyfriend to a sex ritual. And didn’t invite me.

    See you next year, indeed.

  • a free thinker

    I don’t think you know what an atheist is. They don’t believe in angels. So, why would they be trying to kill them?
    Is this a trolling site?

  • Jake

    Seriously, Janine? This isn’t the time or place to bring this up. I’m trying to defend our secret global conspiracy and here you are bringing up ancient history.

  • Messias

    This is super!
    Of course we atheists kill everything we don’t believe in, specially really cute unicorns. 0_o

  • Maleficent

    I wouldn’t call it “ancient history when you said you loved me at the convention last week, all naked and sweaty and covered in candle wax and goat’s blood! We have something special!!!!

    Janine, I’m sorry, but we’re in love and I don’t care who knows it. I’m just a Satanic overlord girl in love with a conspirator in the atheist plot for global domination. #dealwithit

  • Harold

    ….so, if you ever wanna grab coffee or something, let me know.

  • Sean

    Marry me

  • Janine

    ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!? YOU ASSHOLE! I can’t believe you would do this to me! You swore no more ritualistic sex with goat’s blood and candle wax!!!

    Mal, it’s fine. I mean, we can both care about Jake. Just know that he breaks his promises and can’t be trusted.

    Jake, it’s over between us. Harold, you know my number.

  • DJ

    The “barrels of chemicals” you have pictured above, are actually weights used to train commercial airline pilots. The shifting of the liquids inside is meant to simulate weight and motion of passengers. The picture at the top of the page is of DDT being sprayed…in the 50’s (notice the fact that the plane is older than most of us reading this article. Or just try an image search). Lastly, your “top secret base” which you somehow have a picture of, is so top secret they even have a website (read it here http://eros.usgs.gov/about-us/background) That sir is some amazing “investigative journalism.” People, do yourselves a favor and research these things for yourself, this fear-mongering is dangerous and stupid. Atheists do not want to kill you, most of them would just like to sit down with you and have an honest conversation where everything they say is not immediately dismissed as being “against God.”

  • johhne

    A lot of people here are in denial. There has been ample documented evidence proving chemtrails from former pilots and military officers. We know that flouridation is also happening all over the world but folks deny that too in face of all the evidence. I guess your the type of fools the government wants out there too closed minded to believe any truth.

  • Hilarious

    Wait wait, everyone here realizes this is one hilarious joke right? Poisoned angels, written by a “motivational children’s party entertainer and antique soda bottle collector?” Come on… Where’s Ashton!? Where is he!

  • Robert Hodge

    “Dr.” Billings left one other category off his (not very) impressive list of self-description above. In addition to being an “award winning” “journalist”(!), “Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer”(!!), and “Antique Soda Bottle Collector”(!!!), he is also a total nutjob. Assuming angels even exist, one would further assume that they cannot be killed, esp. by worldly weapons, such as alleged chemtrails. The Bible “Dr.” Billings professes to believe in fact states this very fact.

  • Stephenson_Billings

    Whackjobs. I honestly don’t know what you’re going on about. Either it’s clear evidence that atheists are behind the worst of these atrocties or you’re so low level freaks just trying to hack this discussion. This is serious and shame on you people for attacking a community of faith and patriotism, but I guess having a little respect for your people and your country, particularly the men and women who risk their lives every single day fighting for YOUR freedom, well I guess showing them a little love is just too much. This is the essential problem with the atheistic lifestyle, you have zero allegience for the traditions and spirit that made America great. I have to wonder why you’re even here, and not standing in line for fish heads and a loaf of bread in downtown Havana. God bless.

  • Susan

    Let’s see. Where should I begin? How about, here; I’m an Atheist. I hid it for a long time, not because I was ashamed, but because people of faith are far more hateful about people with different beliefs than most Atheists I’ve met. I’m heavily involved in charity work. I love animals. I don’t hate people of any faith and I respect their beliefs. I am the only Atheist in my family and I’ve even attended Mass with my sister out of respect for how she has chosen to raise my niece. I went to church as a child. The bottom line is this. I just don’t believe in God. I tried but I don’t. I can’t make myself believe something that I just don’t believe. It’s really as simple as that. No conspiracy. No hidden agenda. No hate for God or religion. I just don’t believe God is real.

  • http://paleo-cinema.blogspot.com kultguru

    You need a check up from the neck up.

  • Stephenson_Billings

    Freak.

  • Rayn Moonflower

    Hey Stephenson_Billings and the rest of you Fox snews watching fools look at some real history books. I cant say look at any real news because we don’t have that anymore ( unless you look back at the black and white stuff in the middle part of the last century) but that is not my point If you want to ring up the scandal word and bring up this and call these things liberal scandals I will have to let you in on the sad truth That stuff started way before Obama was in office. Being that you and the fox snews watchers want to through sand in the eyes of people on the other side of the isle here is some of the conservative sand. I will just go back as far as Treasonous bast*** #1 Nixon (r) we all know why he got impeached to bad that wasn’t all he did as if that wasn’t bad enough but it wasn’t Mister who says “I am saying if the president does it it isn’t illegal” He made deals with the Viet Cong.before he was president and that was what he ran on his ” plan” its a fact you can research it that What he did was Treasonous You may have to look that up so you comprehend it. Next Treasonous bast*** R Reagan (R) he made back door deals with the Iranian terrorist before he was president. Next one how about W???? lets just stick to what he and his vice dicky and Rove need to be hung for that’s right treason for outing a covert CIA officer that is just one thing But that one thing truly does carry a sentence of death by hanging Its called HIGH TREASON for a reason. Now my point is not that one side of this government is better then the other its not they are both sick. My point is the only part of the government that can change any of this sickness is the part that holds no office but is affected by everything the office holders do. WE THE PEOPLE thats right we have a contract with all these rat bastar** they have breached the contract countless time and even are currently putting us under a contract we dont even know about. Stop standing up for left wing fox snews bs Look at what is happening, you dont need somebody on the boob tube to con you into seeing what isn’t the issues. The issue is we have a constitution that is our contract with them hold them all to that Right, left they are the same only we can change this This isn’t about god and angles its about the common sense god gave us use it stop being brain washed that is just what they want us to be. God gave you a brain and the ability to think for yourself dont let infotainment blow smoke up your butt. Turn off the TV read the constitution spend some hard earned money buy the BLACKS LAW book so you can really understand what the words in the constitution really mean turn your self into a real enemy of the state its called a real informed citizen But if you do you may end up in Guantanamo lol and you can thank the Republicans for that. WOW patriot act hummmm think of the irony how completely un American can you get?????

  • Azariel_z

    This article is just too funny… Really the US is not what used to be..

  • Eddie Brannan

    This site’s header is hilarious. The homoerotic image with the M16 “morning glory” in the context of a “Hard Dawn” is too much. As is you guys taking this obvious parody seriously.

  • Darkside97Michael Bushnell

    That might make their religious brains explode.

  • Eddie Brannan

    Uh, hello. This whole site is parody, and “her” tweets are all in response to articles on it, so yep — good detective work!

  • Darkside97Michael Bushnell

    They sure run away from admitting that.

  • lairdp

    F&F: Started under Bush, ended under Obama. Solyndra approved and fast-tracked and “the sky’s the limit” under Bush, give more proper oversight and then funding stopped under Obama. IRS “targeting” affected all political groups trying to get tax-free status and didn’t target right-wing groups more than left-wing groups. Ambassador Stevens died, which was a shame, but diplomats die in dangerous situations often because they have dangerous jobs – 60+ embassy staff died under Bush, for example, so it’s not clear how 4 under Obama is worse. The annual deficit now is 1/2 what Bush left. The economy was collapsing under Bush, losing jobs, and the economy is growing now, with lower unemployment than when Bush left office.

    Care to try again, but with facts?

  • Militant Atheism, LLC

    Important Announcement!
    Militant Atheist Angel-Killing Chemtrail Workshop and Demo now open for sign up!!!
    https://www.facebook.com/events/560408894055399/?previousaction=join&source=1

  • Matt Frank

    You people are ADORABLE.

  • Matt Frank

    This response is almost as stupidly hysterical as the article itself! You should write for the Onion!

  • lachessys

    please, tell me this is a “The Onion” type site…..

  • ObayJuan

    Somewhere, deep underground in a hardened bunker is the anti-Christ and leader of this mission against the angels……Johnny Carson! And while I do not have any proof of this….I just know it is true!! B)

  • DeBunked

    I found where you got your pictures from. Here’s a few more images of those barrels to use on your other articles.

    https://www.metabunk.org/threads/debunked-chemtrail-plane-interior-ballast-barrels.661/

  • Stephenson_Billings

    You realize “metabunk” is a George Soros funded agit prop front, right? It’s a great source if you want to “bone” up on Comrade Obama’s party line.

  • Matthew Grant Anson

    hahahah

  • Benjamin

    The fact that any of you think think this has to do with democrats or republicans blows my mind. ignorance is king here

  • Alan-Michael White

    This must be from “Dr.” Stephenson Billings, if it’s not outright satire. If the article is serious, it’s the most inane bullshit I’ve ever read. If it’s facetious, it’s a sad world we live in where I could ever take the author at his word.

  • Phil McCracken

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. OM MY GOD, YOU PEOPLE ARE NUTS.

    You really think if there are angels that they live in the sky and can be poisoned?

    Take your meds, please.

  • scherben

    You believe this article isn’t ripping the piss out of you?

  • Dane Curbow

    Don’t forget about all the innocent people who’s lives are stolen from drunken drivers every year. Look up the same thing for pot. Which substance is the bad one?

  • Rene

    Faith? You people are completely deranged…

  • Martin Bouckaert

    The picture of the barrels, those are actually water barrels. They are used in flight testing of new aircraft to simulate passenger movement. More lies written by more paranoid americans with a theocratic agenda.

  • war_blur

    this is so debunked.

  • KenFP

    I’m ashamed to be a Christian right now. This is utter drivel and the author is an idiot. This article has done more to drive me closer to atheism than anything any government could come up with. The author is a disgrace to Christianity.

  • kaajaa

    Is this supposed to be comedy or does someone actually think chemtrails are killing angels??

  • Me

    Another blog failing to realize that correlation does not equal causation. …But ‘clearly’ it does….

  • Barry Lyons

    There is absolutely no question that alcohol is a dangerous substance, whereas marijuana is not. You can find the book by Mason Tvert, who explains why marijuana is the safer choice.

    As for driving, alcohol affects the central nervous system. This is why drunk drivers struggle to maneuver a multi-ton vehicle with care. THC does not affect the body in this way. While it’s true that nobody should be under the influence of any psychoactive substance, there is no question that being driven by someone who is high from THC is the safer choice. And frankly, driving while tired, which, unfortunately, is quite common, is far more dangerous than driving after smoking a joint.

    There is also the fact that alcohol often exacerbates people’s braggadocio and self-confidence. “Give me the keys. I can drive!” No one has an explanation as to why alcohol brings about such a false claim or belief in people (the belief that one is fine and can drive), whereas the stoner is much more self-aware and conscientious and cognizant of his or her condition and therefore doesn’t want to drive while high. Put simply, the primary reason why a stoner doesn’t want to drive is because it’s such a buzz kill!

    Lastly, there are several studies (many from the UK) indicating that stoned drivers are far more successful at driving than drunk drivers. You’ll find a discussion and review of these studies in my book, “Letter to a Prohibitionist”.

    Barry

    PS: By the way, don’t be confused (if you are) about THC metabolites. A metabolite is a kind of residue, and so if someone’s blood is tested and THC metabolites are found, it means that the person had a HISTORY of ingesting marijuana but does not indicate that the person is at the moment the blood was drawn.

  • Gilles de Laval

    Is this site a joke? These articles read like The Onion. If atheists were involved in a secret plot to exterminate angels, they wouldn’t be atheists. I sincerely hope these articles are written tongue-in-cheek and that we are being punked, because if Americans are really this ignorant, we are SNAFU.

  • Aaron Sinclair

    careful – logic that simple can cause harm. :D

  • Undron

    This post is so stupid. Why would atheist spend time poisoning angel’s they do not believe in? That makes them…. not atheist?

  • Emilio Lizardo

    This has to be some kind of joke; if serious, this article is indicative of some manner of incipient mental illness on the part of the author.

  • Jeff Akana

    Um just lol. I think Obama is a total fool, but this article (and site) is the biggest load I have ever read.

  • BillyBoy80

    Love this. Satire can’t even be this great!

  • Dale Diversity

    This is a satire site. Nobody could possibly be that stupid.

  • River Lizard

    No shit. I no more believe in angels as I do in a god or a devil..or a unicorn or a big foot….or…ghosts, a after-life, blah blah blah…
    People make up and cling to things that have no evidence. Religious leaders put a book together and people follow it……talking snakes, virgin births, zombies, etc… this story just goes down that same avenue of BS.

  • Tom but not a Doubter

    I do believe in The Almighty, but I think you guys are nuts.

  • Joseph Smith

    This is a joke, right? Like… this whole website is a joke, right?

  • http://evil-se7en.com/ Bill Downey

    Making claims that have no facts to back them up is the same as telling LIES, this article is obviously written by a non-believer that has no fear of God in Heaven! May God judge you harshly for your sins! Repent!

  • Miss Elle

    ARE YOU SURE THIS ISN’T THE ONION??? OMGLMAO!!!

  • Randy Govostis

    The deficit was cut in half. The national debt is still rising.

  • Dane Curbow

    I’m aware. If I get pulled over and tested for that ever I will test positive even though I don’t drive high (or drunk for that matter!).

  • Miss Elle

    ARE YOU SURE THIS ISN’T THE ONION??? ROFLMFAO!!

  • danny b

    But atheists dont believe in ange…oh nevermind

  • Ben

    Hahaha you’re all fucking retarded. This is why the rest of the world laughs at you behind your back.

  • Will Marsh

    Yes, atheists are trying to poison beings that, by definition, THEY DON’T BELIEVE IN. Brilliant.

  • Kaylee-Aurora

    You people are so high on Obama you don’t even see all the garbafge he’s doing to this country. Health care costs are skyrocketing and the big banks just keep rolling in the dough while hardworking people pay for it all. So you dont even have the sense to realize your being fooled and robbed? It’s your own fault if you want to stay stupid then. I can’t help you.

    • BlooSoxx

      Health care costs have been rising for years and years because of insurance companies’ greed, not because of who is President of the USA. One of the things that has happened since passage of the Affordable Care Act is that the rise in health care costs has slowed way down. Plus insurance companies are now required to spend at least 80% of their revenues in paying direct health care costs – if not, they have to pay a hefty fine. Before the ACA, insurance companies could take all of your premiums and find a million ways to not pay on your claims. Oh, and hon? I don’t need your help, I am well educated and well read and I stay away from Faux News.

    • cipher

      It’s your own fault if you want to stay stupid then. I can’t help you.

      Demonstrating once again that fundies and neocons have no sense of irony.

  • pqbu2u

    This is such great satire! May the universe continue giving material to whoever wrote this brilliant humor! Special, blessed package, indeed! Just be sure if your Hard Dawn lasts for more than four hours, seek medical help… or just hop on over to Colorado ;-)

  • Rex Mundiex mundi

    This is old hat. We’re going after the Pixies and the Dragons now, using a cunning combination of mouldy sandwiches, lettuce and banjo music.

  • aprsnalve

    No. Science is both beneficial and dangerous. Depends on how people use it.

  • Case

    WTF is this?, is this some kind of right-wing journal like the new frontierman in Watchmen? .

  • God

    This site has My blessing. St. Jon Swift brought it to My attention– or thought he did, since I know everything– and asked Me to intercede for the good doctor. Blessing is a Level One intercession. Don’t ask Me to go to Level Two; that means bolts of lightning.

  • Ardent Dempublicrat

    How can worldly chemicals kill purely spiritual beings like angels??? I think this article is a bad joke… It’s set up like your typical outrageous satire and even has the ooey-gooey jesus-talk in it to boot!

    And seriously cut the political arguing. We all know the republicrats and dempublicans both suck.

    • Kaylee-Aurora

      Well there is a difference and sorry but the Tea Party presents our values better than Occupy Wall Street/Democrats.

  • SRPinPGH

    Please tell me this author’s suffering a post-Super Bowl hangover. PLEASE. Otherwise, I’ll have to believe the stupid are inheriting the earth.

  • Herpa D. Derp

    This is actually a fine mist of olive oil to APPEASE, not poison, the flying spaghetti monster.

  • Sane Person

    Is this…is this for real? Like, this isn’t satire? If you are serious, I could not be more confident that you need critical mental help. I mean to say, you are completely insane, probably clinically so. Get help. The only poison that’s being spread is this erroneous, hateful, illogical, painfully ignorant nonsense.

  • Averant

    Yeah, because incorporeal immortal superbeings that supposedly fight similarly incorporeal evil immortal bastards are susceptible to man-made poison. Logic. You idiots don’t have any to speak of…

  • Joseph

    Well, dang, so that’s were all the dead angels are coming from. I thought it was the cold snap.

  • Lmaris

    I am an atheist, but I believe in angles. I do not believe angels or any other invisible, magical being, but I do believe in angles. I use them daily.

    • Mathematicaster

      Typical al Gebra terrorrista

    • DreadMighty

      Angles are REAL!

  • Michael Collins

    This is probably the stupidest thing I have seen in a generation. Poison already dead mythical beings that are powerful enough to supposedly appear and disappear at will or on toast, and are under the protection of Mr. supposedly all-powerful as well Damn….whoever came up with this needs to check into Bellevue now.

  • Ernie Lederman

    You guys are nuts. This is the funniest damn thing I’ve read in a long time. I was convinced that most things today are beyond satire, but I really admire this. Good work, guys.

  • the_dude_abides

    ^^ derp ^^

  • Mathematicaster

    Good! KILL THE ANGELSES!~!!!!!!11111

  • Mathematicaster

    Wait- big foot? How can you be so sure?

  • William Fisher

    I have one question: WHY WOULD AN ATHEIST POISON SOMETHING THEY DON’T BELIEVE EXISTS?

    • William Fisher

      Also, do you really believe Heaven is in the stratosphere? Above that is the mesosphere and all I see is satellites. Seriously bro, do you even think?

  • Stuey84

    The ‘chemtrails’ this article links to are plane contrails you idiot. What even is this article? Please tell me it’s satire and people aren’t actually this dumb.

  • eddie dowling

    You do have a point.

  • martinsnapp

    Is this a parody site? Nobody could be this crazy in real life.

  • chosenfrozen

    wow, wow, I mean wow, are you truly insane, incredibly stupid or is this some sort of joke site

  • chosenfrozen

    oh, and when GW Bush went to Washington, a village in Texas lost it’s idiot

  • Good Grief

    Hello? Atheists don’t believe in angels.

    • Zehryo

      I guess, being myself an atheist and still not able to think of such a clever comment, I should feel ashamed, now. XD

  • Raven Phoenixfire

    Frankly, I see nothing here but the ravings of a lunatic.

  • AQ

    You loony bastard–those are BALLAST BARRELS full of WATER. They are used when testing a new aircraft before putting it into production, to simulate cargo and passenger loads.

    FFS, get your head out of your goddamn Bible and actually learn some science (or in this case, aerospace engineering) will you?

    • Zehryo

      I didnt know about testing aircrafts using water barrels to simulate cargo. Intersting SCIENCE fact!! =)

  • AQ

    It’s worse because Obama is black. Duh!

    • Dee Dee

      But you know they deny that. With the worn out, “But I’m not a racist. I have Black friend(s).” Pshaw.

  • Dwayne Hoover

    LOL, this is probably one of the dumbest and most ridiculous things I’ve ever read. But sure, I hope the atheists do eliminate morons like yourself, hahaha.

  • moemoe731

    Aw crap, they’re on to us! We never thought they’d find out! What do we do now????

  • Abir Mandal

    yet you have no problem in believing in the myth of Keynesian economics.

    • lairdp

      There’s 80 years of economic data supporting Keynesian economics. That’s why most economics think his models are basically right.

      How much data is there to support the idea than an army of militant athiests are poisoning angels (which they don’t believe in)?

  • Abir Mandal

    Actually more people died under Obama, moron. Too bad you only get your statistics when the media feeds them to you.

    • Sam Iezzi

      Now if only those numbers added. How can more die under a president who improved the foreign relations and pulled your soldiers out of the middle east? Easy solution.More couldnt have died. Thats just Reichwing lies by fox news, i doubt they even know how many died at benghazi

      • Abir Mandal

        How indeed? Because Obama is a fucktard of a commander in chief. http://www.justforeignpolicy.org/obamavsbush

        • Sam Iezzi

          Then Bush must be lord fucktard. Nearly 5000 died in Iraq 32000 WIA and well over 100000 doumented civilian deaths as a direct result of the war

      • DreadMighty

        Reichwing… heh.

    • lairdp

      When 4 > 60, you’ll be right. Good luck with that.

    • DreadMighty

      If you think more have died under Obama despite that we invaded a secular anti-Terrorist country and another country that even the USSR could not subdue as well as a rampant Drug War across our two continents…?

  • Abir Mandal

    Are you fucking retarded? The debt is now 17 trillion. Under Bush, it was 6. Math is not your friend, is it?

    • Dee Dee

      “Debt” and “Deficit” are two different things, genius. Now, STFU, Abir. You’re making a real idiot of yourself.

    • Steve K

      Debt was 6 under Shrub? Cite your source. Because it was a fair bit higher than that. Not to mention, which I now will, he inherited a budget surplus from Clinton.

      He also kept the Iraq and Afghanistan invasions off the books, which makes….Obama putting them on the books part of Shrub’s debts increases, and off Obama’s ledger.

      Medicare Part “D” donut hole?
      countless other unfunded shenanigans, too.

  • Abir Mandal

    If you like your insurance you can keep it. Lol

    • Sam Iezzi

      You are aware obama wasnt responsible for that. It was the companies giving the insurance. They didnt want to change the plans to fot the new policies so they cancelled them.

      • Abir Mandal

        Are you retarded? You change incentives for people or firms and expect them to not act accordingly? You must be an Obama voter. Clueless. Now fuck off and die.

        • Sam Iezzi

          He changed the policies. The insirance companies didnt want to make the adjustments, they thought it would cost too much so the cancelled the insurance plans.

  • Abir Mandal

    The great leap forward. No scandal there.

  • Michael McKeon

    Yer fuckn nuts

  • johnnyrojo

    I wish I had the will and energy to write such sublime satire… Poisoning the angels in heaven. Hahahaha! Angels real? Next you’ll be claiming God made everything. ROFLMAO!

  • Dee Dee

    Methinks (at 66 yrs young) it’s a bit too late, Secret Agent 007. But we keep on trying!

  • Dee Dee

    Are you kidding me??? This “Dr.” Billings guy doesn’t do much real investigating and he’ll never come close to any of my grandchildren OR great-grandchildren (even though they’d think he was hilariously entertaining). Stick to collecting soda bottles, “Dr.” That’s about your speed.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Many children enjoy my performances and they learn a lot too! So please don’t cast aspersions on my art. It’s also my way of making a living. Have a little respect for a working man whose greatest pleasure is bringing a smile to a young person’s face.

  • Danny

    ‘It’s the atheists who spread contempt of God and invite such reckless notions of communism and Islam.’ That’s kinda ironic cause Muslims love their God. Which is the same God as the one in Christianity.

    • Zehryo

      It’s the same god as long as Jesus and Muhammad dont get involved. From there on, it’s all war and “activism”.

  • Kimberly

    The number of people who are not understanding the concept of ‘satire’ is amazing. And hilarious.

    • Zehryo

      You cant talk about “satire” when the writer’s bio says: “Dr. Stephenson Billings is an award-winning Investigative
      Journalist […]”.
      If anything, we could say he totally lacks talent for writing satire as satire is meant to be written: he sounds serious!! XD

  • AwakeSoul

    What kind of Dr. is Mr .Billings? Is he a MAIL ORDER PHD IN some bizarre religion? This is the biggest crock of whatever that I have heard. Chem traisl MAY be doing mass immunizations or population control, but poisoning the Angels in heaven is so funny as to be a joke.You can’t poison anything in heaven as a. They are interdimensional spiritual beings and not fully physical. The chems are physical. b. the planes are nowhere near heaven, nor as high as the atmosphere goes…so they are largely confined to lower level activities. He must think Heaven is a few hundred feet to the right and above us….sorry Doc. It is a bigger concept than that,,,,,BIG-G-G-ER!

  • Thomas Brown

    I like angles because they are so acute.

  • Zehryo

    I guess it is a honest move to state I’m an (live and let live) atheist as my very first word.

    And now that I’ve given the writer and his supporters something to blame me for, I can start my comments.

    First things first, I’ve always heard people saying angels are immortal, so I guess using chemicals to kill them would be a silly choice, even for “mad” scientists.
    On the other hand, if “science” really managed to churn out a chemical that can kill angels, then two possibilities show up in front of us: the first one is that biblical religions tell us a lot of bollocks for a matter of pure convenience and the second one, which doesnt automatically exclude the first one, is that if science is so powerful to subvert God’s laws, then science should be our new god.

    Joking aside, I would take much more seriously the possibility government is using chemtrails for secret experiments on people or nature, although there are so many real and pseudo reporters and scientists craving fame, around, that such experiments would be unmasked {and proven real} in a matter of weeks or even days.

    Another thing I’d like to point the spotlights on is that there’s plenty of religious scientists, around, so I cant really imagine any large-scale scientific project involving EXCLUSIVELY atheist scientists; and of the “activist” kind, too.
    Also, for all I know, atheists never make sit-in’s, protests or terroristic attacks saying [in]fidels should convert to their lack-of-faith or they will all perish in “hell’s flames”. Hell’s flames that, this is a relevant detail, science taught men to create in form of C4, Semtex and any kind of home-made explosive.
    I cant hold back laughs imagining muslim terrorists trying to tear down the Pentagon with spears, bows and slingshots; or christian activists trying to blow up abortion clinics, if you prefer.

    So, in conclusion, being myself an atheist of the “live and let live” kind who knows very few about the nature of biblical divine creatures, I cant really agree with this angel poisoning theory. Although I must admit the secret experiments on humans and nature sound reasonable.
    I will, however, be more than glad to change my point of view as soon as I’ll be shown an angel suffering chemical poisoning which is ascribable to human experiments; even a healthy angel would do, actually; or an angel at all.
    And this is the side of being atheist that I like the most: you’re free to change your mind as soon as common experiences or science prove you wrong.

  • grinninglibber

    In summary BULLSHIT!

  • Zehryo

    Friendly LoL!! XD

  • Kenneth McCain

    This is by far ( and keep in mind that I consider myself to be an intellectual and usually not the type to stoop as low as profanity when making a point) the dumbest…DUMBEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER READ! Please allow me to clarify:
    A) There are no militant atheists, because we can simply think of more constructive uses of our time.
    B) Noone spends money trying to destroy something they don’t believe in in the first place.
    C) Why attack atheists in an article like this? We don’t care and while we are the largest minority in America, we’re also the most passive-aggressive (that means don’t fuck with us and we won’t fuck you up)
    I think the main problem is that the writer of this article found out the average IQ of an atheist is higher than that of a person of faith and felt threatened. Or maybe it’s just a way to make sheep like all of you argue.:
    Those of you claiming to be …whatever, and then going on some diatribe about what politician is to blame…you’re in the lower end of the IQ spectrum because you haven’t figured out that politicians aren’t running anything but their mouths. The people that bought their offices make the decision and I’ve got a bit of news for you sunshine, it’s usually the same people no matter what party they belong to.
    This is the idea though, isn’t it? Divide and conquer? Use political party lines and religions to separate us and make us fight amongst each other? Looks like they are smarter than all of us, because it’s working. The writer of this article is probably well aware of the game and how it’s played, because no one writes garbage like this without being part of the aforementioned system of deception. In a sense, every commenter here is just “feeding the troll”.

    • Zehryo

      ….or having fun playing “tease the bear”. X)

  • Sidewinder07

    Is this a joke like The Onion?? This can’t be serious. No one can really believe this.

  • Steve K

    I believe in angles. If they’re acute enough :P

  • Steve K

    They don’t let facts interfere with their campaign!
    -paraphrased from Mitt the Wittless

    :P

  • happyshibe

    >Taking this article seriously

  • Junoh315

    Pack your bags, gentlemen. They’ve finally caught on. It’s a shame that we’ve already killed all of the angels. You could have actually stopped us.

  • Todd

    But I don’t understand something… why would atheists try and kill beings that they didn’t think existed? That would be like if I set up a bunch of lightning rods around my house in my war against Zeus. That would be silly because if I don’t believe in Zeus, I’m certainly not concerned with trying to kill him.

  • Hamstersexual

    Chemtrails have been around at least decade and still most major governments have not investigated it. They do nothing just deny which means they have to be part of the problem. if they seriously cared about the public they would investigate.

  • Nancy L. Rattign

    You do realize that this is satire, right?

  • God_Santa_Chupacabra

    Anyone who thinks atheists fear gods or angels really has no idea what atheism means. The author of this article is a complete and utter moron.

  • Shaman man

    Valid point, but they’ll wiggle out of it :/

  • Thea

    It’s not so ‘ about ANGELS’ but about elementals ( Sylphs, and Air Devas ) secondly it’s a nano fibers attack on Living bodies. Nanot tubes, Bio apps… So you are right, but it’s more complex that ‘ trying to kill Angels’ . Angels are not made of matter and can’t be killed by Chemtrails.. But the Whole Creation of GOD they hate and try to mutate and / or destroyand remote control.. ‘( Super computer with bio apps in the bodies ) and there you are right it’s a Luciferian Dark Energies Agenda.

  • Thea

    This is not an American Agenda, it’s world wide..

  • Michael Hooper

    Is this web site meant to be a joke? If not, please seek help.

  • Kamron Brooks

    This is a pretty good hoax-news site. Can you imagine if people really believed stuff like this?

  • Ursomniac

    This is a parody site – right?

  • Mark

    Somehow, I always knew.

  • Joe Beets

    Why is everything you don’t understand the result some insane politico-religious conspiracy?
    Contrails are the result of the water in the exhaust from burning jet fuel hitting the super-cold air at altitude and freezing into ice crystals. (Yes, burning hydrocarbons produces CO2 and water – just like in your car exhaust.) You can see them every day if you are under the flight path of airliners cruising at altitude, although the sun angle does impact how easy it is to see them. They can be invisibly faint up to gleaming iridescence depending on the relationship between you, the sun, and the contrails.

    Just go Googling “contrails” if you want to learn something factual instead of wildly inventing complete nonsense.

  • sverreandersen
  • Raffaele D’Abrusco

    Un-freaking-believable. Is there anything these morons would not believe?

  • Gasko

    Not only you believe in chemtrails, in angels and in heaven… but you also believe heaven is just above the troposphere?? COME ON!

  • lee

    All you did was say BS. you can’t prove God doesn’t exist and there are ghosts and angels there is video evidence to prove it and there’s is an afterlife

    • DreadMighty

      You can’t prove he does exist, but you can prove the Bible/Koran is false with evidence, much provided by the Bible itself.

      • lee

        How dare you pair the bible with the satanic hate filled Quran that preaches death to nonbelievers. The Bible is full of the truth and it even says the earth is round and that was at a time when most people thought it was flat

        • DreadMighty

          Unfortunately for that theory, most people at the time of the writing of the Bible by Hebrews, who got the majority of their beliefs from Metu Neter holy book, knew the Earth was round. Also If there is no “Seal” of the Prophets and no Koran, you cant have your apocalypse and return of Yeheshua/Christ. THere was a prophecy that the Arabs would get a Prophet of their own in Deuteronomy, John, the Gospel of Barnabas. All the Koran is is a set of practical methods for living as the Bible prescribes; mostly based on the Torah, due to the First Council of Nicaea mucking with the Gospel in an attempt to create comprehensible religion.
          This being said; its all a long story about how awesome the Hebrews were and how awesome their legacy is by the time the Koran was written. I think Jews are pretty cool but if I were to believe in a creationism, I’d choose either the Serer Creation myth or J.R.R. Tolkiens. Which are just as believable if not more congruent in its storylines.

        • George Langford

          Don’t compare our Holy Bible to the quran,,,I have been trying to make this point for a long time now.,.. The quran preaches that it is okay to kill a non-believer !!!

          • alexandra jonas

            The bible says that too obviously you haven’t read numbers chapter 31, so much for knowing your own crap

        • Spartacus

          Your an idiot.

          The ancient Greeks were able to infer that the earth was round simply by looking at the shadow the earth cast on the moon during antiquity, long before the nation of Israel became a thing.

      • lee

        The Bible is the exact opposite of the Quran and someone tried to prove the Bible wrong and then ended up becoming a christian because he couldn’t prove it to be false

        • DreadMighty

          I can prove the Bible false and no , the Koran says the same thing in it as the Bible. How to prove the Bible/Koran False; Adam & Eve and their sons are teh only people on Earth. Cain kills Abel and is marked so no one else kills him for his crime. Who else is there besides his own family? Also, the Bible/Koran says the Earth is about 6500 years old, and…as old as the Universe – yet its much more likely the Universe billions of years old considering that there were Human beings with culture over 7k years ago.

          • DreadMighty

            BOOM

        • DreadMighty

          SOme Muslims become Christian, some Christians become Muslims, Some Buddists become Atheists. Some Atheists become Taoists. Any God inside of a book is false.

  • mrkelvin

    Oh my God, they are trying to stop the rapture!

  • or pick a name

    You all should realize this is satire. Very good satire. I am laughing my ass off at this whole website. Great stuff.

  • Jamie

    I can’t believe America is a super power. Athiests poisoning angels? When would we have time to develop our amazing advances in science if we were killing fictitious characters from the bible.

  • Lazerstrat

    I think that one of the biggest problems afflicting the great American public today is irony deficiency .

  • dickson buttman

    Uh…if atheists knew there were angels to destroy…WE WOULDN’T BE ATHEISTS!

  • lee

    Angels can’t be killed

    • DreadMighty

      Because they don’t exist.

      • lee

        Angels do exist and there is video evidence of angels but of course you are too lazy to look it up

        • DreadMighty

          There is video of Dinosaurs as well as zombies. I prefer actual proof and actual fact.

          • lee

            I said video evidence you dumbass. Video evidence is the proof

          • DreadMighty

            LOL I can make any “evidence” you have ever seen with this Macbook Pro and Adobe Creative Suite, sitting in my boxer briefs listening to Pig Destroyer.

  • nickrose4549

    What a load of crap, angel really!

  • Jan Civil

    ‘angles’?

  • lee

    Sad thing is that chemtrails are real and this article is making a joke out of them

  • Ron Webster

    Ha the author colects soda bottles and entertains children. Pure speculation as is faith. Who believes this crap. 6 year olds? Climate change is real look at the grasslands. And who r u to question this when according to your beliefs this is all gods plan. Chemtrails are a serious matter. Aye aye aye. This guy will be an expert on fox news soon. America is doomed….

  • Servant of GOD

    What kind of Christian are you if you think an angel of GOD can be destroyed by man? Do you honestly believe that man or even satan is stronger than an angel of GOD? Perhaps you should spend more time putting your faith in the strength of Jesus rather than believing man has become all powerful.

  • LBCFleming

    Yep – definitely “unidentified chemicals”. More details here… http://www.seattlepi.com/news/slideshow/Tour-an-Airbus-A380-3281/photo-646552.php

  • Ole the Swede

    Id say this article is a good example of ignorance. (of the author). Humanists are among the most gracious and giving people on the planet. They do so WITHOUT thinking that God is going to give them a better car to drive around in Heaven as a result of their giving.

  • Harry McNicholas

    You and the rest of your flock have to be the dumbest nitwits on the planet. I strongly suggest you seek immediate mental help. I am politically a Conservative and I am embarrassed by stupid nitwits like yourselves even pretending to be Conservatives.

  • Hassan Hamza

    Is this article from “The Onion”? Really, it’s got to be from “The Onion” because nobody can really be this stupid, can they? “Scientism”, what the hell is that? Tell you what, next time you get sick, I mean appendicitis or broken bones or major lacerations, head on down to your local church and let your angels take care of you. Me, I’ll be heading down to my local hospital where my Doctor who went to school to learn some “Scientism” will be taking care of me.

    • daangelo29

      Not from The Onion, but this did come from a satirical article.

  • S N

    …. BAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Holy crap I can’t believe people actually believe this stuff….

  • The Devil

    I really don’t know if this is a spoof website or are people really this stupid. if this is a spoof then I tip my hat to you sirs very funny indeed. I think i would lose a little faith in humanity if there were people stupid enough to write this and mean it.

  • DreadMighty

    YOOOO son, UNICORNS ARE REAL.

  • http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198051596340/ Traingineer

    Oh yeah, many angels are dying. If they even existed in the first place.

  • Joseph Mehma

    Having been an avid RC flyer for 3 years in my church I’m pretty well versed in thermo/aerodynamics. While chemtrails are feasible by smaller planes, the dispersion rate at the higher altitudes by commercial aircraft limit the effectiveness. So while the left may be trying to condemn our angels, their lack of understanding with Bernoulli’s principles and the pure awesomeness of God’s will shows how inept they are to achieve success.

  • Puppypimp

    Why would atheists try to poison and “murder” angels if they did not believe in their existence? That makes no sense whatsoever.

  • chrissi

    send out a prayer every day, but don´t pray FOR something – just pray it in your imagination and it comes true. when you are praying for something, you are handing out the power to change to circumstances. so it won´t come true. imagination is a very poerful way (to trip the atheists up!) –> heard from an indian medicine man. —greetings from germany to the big brother ;-)

  • Guest

    You people are SICK! Those tanks are ballast tanks for load shift testing and Atheists don’t give a shit about you people enough to waste our time with such a silly idea.

  • Kelly Lyric

    I’m a Christian, AND I voted for President Obama. Twice. I am sometimes absolutely appalled at the things that come out of the mouths of the ‘religious’ right. But…I also know that being ‘religious’ is not the same thing, many times, as being a Christian and following…you know…the ACTUAL teachings of Jesus. In fact, I think most of the right give Christians a bad name. They do so many things which are against the teachings of Jesus, while patting themselves on the back for what they perceive as their own righteousness. They pretend to be ‘sheep’ while they are nothing but ‘goats’. Can’t wait until they have to stand before the Lord they profess to believe in and answer the questions He’ll put to them. Surprise, surprise for them when they find out where they’re NOT going.

  • Daniel Reed

    Is ‘Harddawn.com’ a satirical website? I read the article on why Scotland should not Secede from England and was blown away on how far off from any shred of truth it was… (I work and travel there all the time) And now this article blaming Obama for the wars and killing angels with pesticides, while praising Bush who started the recent wars? If it’s not satire… Then perhaps it is time to end this insanity and let the religious fanatics (not the godless) end this world? Reset and start over.

  • rbethke

    Poisoning angels? That’s what keep falling on my head while I walk my dog? They aren’t “chemtrails” they’re contrails.

  • franky boils

    Are you all idiots in America, have any of you ever even picked up a science/common sense text book. The entire point of faith, as Jesus Christ himself stated, is that it is personal and private. And should not be forced at all. Also you can not make up facts, its just not done. I would love to be able to have a conversation about this mans website with said man. I don’t know his name and from what i have read on this website i don’t want to know. I am a Catholic and a realist, I’m also Scottish and a scientist. Does this make me a spawn of the devil, or a man that actually knows what I’m talking about. I await your angry responses here.

  • Schrodinger’s Cat

    This has GOT to be satire. But if it is not, all I can say is that if ignorance were electricity you could light up Manhattan all by yourself. Starting with your failure to stay awake in Junior High when your teacher explained what “theory” means in the context of science.

  • Schrodinger’s Cat

    They don’t believe in angles? How will the pass trigonometry, you pinhead? LOL

  • John Darkman

    Yes! it is true! I collect dead fallen angels in my house, they are very good grilled!

  • job314

    It is a free country, if atheists want to poison angels then I will support their chosen form of expression

  • Lee

    You will quickly change your mind after you have a near death experience where you are dead for more than 10 minutes

    • Bob

      Does it have to be more than 10 minutes or can be exactly 10 minutes? Are we travelling at the time because I’d like to be precise about the time if we’re gonna do this.

  • Rez™

    This is satire, right? Tell me nobody is this whackadoo.

  • Jeff

    1. Chemtrails are B.S.
    2. Angels don’t exist
    3. Those are ballast barrels in that airplane used to test new airframes.
    4. Science is not your enemy.

  • Glen DiCecco

    This is the kind of article that weakens the Christian faith.

  • Jim Olson

    Is this site an alternative to the onion? I can’t believe the writer is serious. This is not very good sarcasm.

  • Julie

    Hahahahahahahahaha! Oh, I would love to come up with a really well thought out response, but all I can come up with, and let’s be honest, all that this kind of article deserves, is are you fucking kidding me? This is hysterical. Poisoning angels? Hahahaha.

  • 17jim17

    HOLY SHIT! Is this guy SERIOUS?!?

  • Nick King

    Those “barrels of unknown chemicals” are balast barrels, full of fluid, to simulate passengers on a plane in test flights. I thought an “award winning investigative journalist” would have figured this out.

    The source of the photo is here: http://www.seattlepi.com/business/article/Our-reporter-tours-one-of-the-first-Airbus-A380s-1176163.php
    And the pic was taken by James Wallace from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer

  • Corey Davis

    You can’t be serious. Please tell me you’re not serious. You people really believe that atheists (you know, the people that don’t believe in God, Satan, angels, or demons) are chem-trailing ANGELS (there’s that word again, your imaginary friends), in HEAVEN (are you catching the trend, here?)? Holy shit… I think we ought to just start chem-trailing you people to control your minds not to breed. You and your offspring are taking up air the rest of us could use. I’m going to need that air back.

  • Sydney Carten

    Greetings from Australia.
    The rest of the world is laughing at what a bunch of superstitious fucktards you Americans have become. You guys are a joke !

    • White Jesus

      Hello Australia!
      Thanks for taking the time to write us. The rest if the world is laughing at at YOU for not being able to differentiate between real news and obvious satire. We may be superstitious. We may be be fucktards. We may be a joke. But, uh…

  • Come on now are you serious

    It’s strange how sometimes investigative journalists throw away their claimed skills in investigation and write like they have been like they are under the influence of narcotics. I don’t think I have ever seen a bigger piece of demonstrable nonsense ever. Lay off the drugs. There can be no other explanation for why this is so baffling stupid.

  • Peter P.

    Why do you delete my Post including a link to a harmless cartoon? No sense of humor?

  • Sam Chatoyant

    Actually atheists kill angels by not believing in them….

    Same with god. We kill god every day.

  • Paul Pearson

    This has gotta be a spoof, right? Only a retard would believe this crock…

  • Javafutter

    “Atheists shake with contempt at the thought of love and decency.” I’m not an atheist and I’m not a Christian. But I do know the Ten Commandments says, “Thou shalt not lie”. This statement in this article is a lie. I know many atheists, agnostics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and Christians who are loving and decent.

    But the person who wrote this article most certainly does not understand love and decency.

  • bob42

    Is this a satire site?

  • Richard Mangano

    I can’t even begin to understand the stupidity that I’ve just read

  • Richard Mangano

    Ha… MSNBC states that the fine Dr isn’t even real…. lol

  • Richard Mangano

    Dr… children’s entertainer and eBay power user… I’m rolling

    • Stephenson_Billings

      I love children and children love my performances. Rather pathetic that you’d find encouraging the innocent laughter of a young person such an offensive act. I guess that just reveals your priorities. Do you even care about the future of America or are you too high on the fumes of America bunring to the ground under Obummer’s socialist revolution? Please take a moment and find some reality, loser.

      • Here_Cometh_The_Boon_Again

        You really have some nerve. You LOVE children alright. You LOVE the taste, the sounds of their innocence being swept away as you rape them. You are the pathetic one.

  • Richard Mangano

    Not one source cited… funny… I’m pretty sure that most high school students understand that they have to cite their sources… dear doc… I’d love to debate you… wanna play?

  • BigBrother Olé-Biscuitbarrel

    I read the comments below and am horrified that so many people don’t recognize satire when they read it.

  • Jim

    I hope this article is satire. And the Obama-bashing is pretty predictable, too. But hasn’t “chemtrails” been going on long before Obama (if it has happened at all)? Why does Obama get blamed for things that happened before he became president?”

  • Jack

    You people are ridiculous. If you believe atheists are poisoning angels in the sky you are just plain dumb. This is the kind of stuff that is ruining America. Preaching ignorance and brain washing the weak minded.

  • J.M. White

    Who knew that angels, who can blind an entire town at will (Sodom) and have no corporeal, physical form unless they choose to take one, could be done in by earthly poisons? Way to provide “evidence” that angels are frail pussies.

  • Mox

    Uh, wut? I mean, really? I think this article just broke my brain and sapped-away any remaining hope for a majority of the human race.

  • Sungoddess

    Who cares if the president is a Christian or not Christians are no better if not worst have you seen the idiots lately who have been bible thumping most Christians haven’t even read the bible it’s full of atrocities against humans .Read your own bible and if you think it’s all warm a fuzzy you are delusional .

  • Damian

    This is literally the stupidest shit I have ever read.

    Dr? Sir I would like to know from what accredited institution you received your Ph.d from. You have yet to cite any proof of this. Furthermore you are clearly a horrible christian who questions their own faith.

    I mean to say that god, Jesus, or angel’s could even be affected by humans, is nothing short of blasphemy. This, and your other little buddies who believe this shit, are heretics , and have turned your backs on the teachings of your supposed savior.

    Please do us all a favor and put down your crack pipe, before you write anymore of this crap.

    Thank you.

  • frankkster

    I’m a Christian and this essay borders on insanity.

  • Susan Peter-Thompson

    Can’t…stop…laughing… haven’t seen this level of insanity and stupidity expressed in writing since Weekly World News went out of print.

  • Rohan Basu

    Religion is a matter of personal opinion Politics is politics. Administration is administration. Science is science. Why do y’all believers have to bring religion into every fucking thing?! Did God make democracy?! Stupid fools. God isn’t something you approach through religion, something you cannot prove to be true. And PLEASE! Don’t quote the Bible to say prove that whatever YOUR God said is true, because then I’ll quote the Gita to prove whatever MY God said is true, or the Qur’an to prove that the Muslim God is true. See? Religion is perspective. Even if it were the words of God, you CAN’T expect humans, subjective creature that we are, to interpret it properly. God is beyond religion. I don’t know if he exists or not, personally I don’t believe he does, but looking at it logically, an omnipresent and omnipotent entity cannot be subject to what puny human beings bring up. All you religious people are stupid bastards who stand in the way of progress and civilsation. So, tell me. Why don’t you still believe that the Earth is flat?! That the Sun goes around the Earth?! Your stupid believes always will fall flat. in due course of time. Time will burn away these examples of mass stupidity. And remember – God, whether or not he exists, God unifies, whereas religion – rleigion divides.

  • danny

    I think people are confused obama is the president not the pope and as for the artical …… HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA you mean to tell me people actualy believe this crap?

  • Intelligent Design

    This author is delusional beyond comprehension. Creationist are so brainwashed they will never be able to make a logical argument for life. Atheist are not evil you boneheaded idiots and they are not trying to eliminate you, all though I’m for a religious free world. Get out of that evil book of yours and read about reality. The god of the bible is a perverted, murdering imbecile who is to worried about your sex life. He’s not real people!

  • Bradley Thomas Horton

    what are you smoking? if you think there is a god, you just are NOT seeing reality.. angels are as real as the boogie man..

  • Dam Spahn

    If atheists don’t believe in God, then they must not believe in angels. So, why would they go through all the trouble of trying to poison angels with chem trails?

  • Richard Mangano

    Dear Stephenson. Talk about pathetic. How do you reconcile anything that I have said as not allowing for the amusement of children? That’s a pretty pathetic leap, as is this article claiming that Obama is killing angels. How stupid are you?

  • Allison

    Funny. Kinda over-selling it though.

  • Mitch Batis

    Shit like this is the very reason I am an atheist. Believe whatever the hell you want, but sooner or later, you have to face the facts. This article is pure bullshit. Evolution is a theory, but so is gravity, and I don’t see anyone testing that. The fact is, atheists by definition do not put any belief in God, which begs the question: why would we go to all that effort to attack something we do not believe exists? We do not believe in an afterlife, so why would we waste the time we have? Hard as it may be to believe, there is no coalition of atheists working to kill God Illuminatti-style. Look at this logically. As a whole, we gain nothing from undertaking the actions described here. Therefore, why on earth would we waste all that time and effort? THINK FOR YOURSELF.

  • Vincent Valentine

    Drugs are bad, mmmkay

  • PA Curtiss

    Norwegian gnomes are responsible for poisoning the sky with chemtrails, attempting to eliminate angles and all who believe in Christ. In 1901 gnomes immigrated, with their human cohorts, from the pagan parts of Norway. Since then they have pushed for the elimination of the Christian faith in America. They are angry for their county being brought into Chritaindom a thousand years ago. Look how the government have changed since then. Always going farther and father away from God, toward socialism, always trying to make others equal, and always looking so prim and propter. They are in the chemtrails business. After all they have the resources and the know how from many years of occult practice and their connections to the North Sea oil business. They live in the white house and have been influencing the government for years. The thing is, whenever anyone tries to look into it all but the children deny their existence. Truth.

  • Thett

    This is the best website on the internet.

  • Thett

    If the atheists succeed in destroying the heavens and God and his angels, would that make the atheists correct, in the end? They insist there is no Heaven, and if they destroy Heaven, they become right?

  • Jo Borras

    Wow. This is definitely the nuttiest, most ridiculous nonsense I have read, yet- and that’s saying something! What are you a doctor in, exactly? I’m betting it isn’t medicine.

  • kerryberger

    What a load of rubbish. Stop demonizing people you don’t even know with this malicious slander.

  • James

    This is comedy gold.

  • Brian Way

    “Atheists shake with contempt at the thought of love and decency. Their whole lives are dedicated to nothingness, to the gaping void of pain that nihilism defines. Indeed, atheists love pain. They love pain in their sexual rituals, in their drug addictions and in their secret globalist power schemes. Why do we have war? It’s the atheists who spread contempt of God and invite such reckless notions of communism and Islam.”

    You know you’re batshit crazy, right? But creative, I’ll give you that. Chemtrails wingnuts always crack me up but this is the funniest shit I’ve read in a long LONG time. Well done!

  • Intelligent Design

    I think this site may be a joke. Say the name of this sit “Hard Dawn” fast 3 times and see what you get. lol

    • Barry Lyons

      Huh. I hadn’t thought of that. So I went back to the banner at the top of the page, and what do I see? Look to the right: a bare-chested guy holding his rifle at a, shall we say, particular angle. Oh, and note the lit-up groin area.

  • Logic

    Is this satire? This has to be satire. No one in their right mind would believe this. Religion is a myth and all truly intelligent people know it. You people seriously believe in angels? Ha! What a fucking joke.

  • Rich

    Atheists cause war?! You fucktards!! if your god is so great and powerful surely he will use his mighty power to bring down the planes that are killing your angels?! Religion is at an all time low yes and thank fuck for that, the religious communties are the very people holding the human race back from acheiving great and peaceful goals. At least you morons have your special heaven to go to when you die so do us all a favour drop dead and fuck off there, leave people who have a shred of intelligence to forward the human race.
    Much love and peace ;)

  • Michael

    is this a spoof article? People think this? Then write it up? And read it seriously?

  • richg1231

    Jeezuz Really??? What a load of crap if you actually k,new anything about physics at all you would know what these so called “Chemtrails” You folks are dumber than a rock. I won’t waste my time explaining since I know i would be talking to a wall….

  • Manxxxman

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! You people can’t be this gullible…or maybe you can!

  • Damo

    Lol. You realise this website is simultaneously taking the piss out of and extracting money from you nutjobs?

  • Stuj

    If they’re poisoning Heaven it might not be a bad thing. After all a lot of people believe that Michael Jackson went to Heaven. And God alone knows what he’s doing to those poor little Cherubs.
    I say NAPALM THEM CLOUDS! If only ONE little Cherub is spared Jackson’s EVIL then that’s good enough for me.

  • tomtom

    Hahahahahaha

  • tippy

    Well shit they are on to us. I guess we will have to try other ways to fight against things that we don’t even believe in, in the first place.

  • tippy

    No answer is no. Militant atheist are not using chemtrails to kill angels.

  • BradATC

    If anyone here believes in “Chem Trails” its more than obvious you failed your high school science classes.

  • Paul

    Atheists don’t hate Jesus, God, or Angels. They simply don’t believe in them. Why would you ever try to poison something you don’t believe exists?

    It’s like putting out mousetraps to catch mice while simultaneously laying a bear trap to catch the bogey man. Chances are, if you’re older than 10 you don’t believe in the bogey man, so why waste your traps?

    Atheists also aren’t devoid of Love, but rather, understand that as humans we can access the whole range of the human experience without needing to have fear in an all-loving God…

    You can believe whatever you want and STILL be a wonderful OR a terrible person, or even fall somewhere between those two extremes..

  • Sane Spirit

    Nice photo of the interior of an A 380 equipped with ballast tanks used during flight testing although I doubt Marc Antony Payne would appreciate the use here.

  • Hagbard Celine

    I guess I’ll be raking dead angels in the yard this morning.

    • Barry Lyons

      I don’t think I’ve seen those particular words, “raking dead angels in the yard,” in that order before.

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  • Thomas Parsons

    Oh Boy there are the water ballast tanks again. Don’t you guys ever get tired of misuseing that picture?

  • Joe Carroll

    No, it’s called progress. Your religion is fading because we have no need for mythology as we learn how things *really* work. Feel free to believe your mythologies, just please keep them out of OUR government.

    • Joe Carroll

      Oh, and don’t even get me started on the chemtrail nonsense. Of course, if you believe in a sky daddy, I guess it makes things like chemtrails small potatoes.

  • fuck you all

    Are you fucking serious?

    • Blanche Beecham

      He’s Dr. Stephenson Billings.

  • James Hayes

    the insanity in this page is so funny…thanks i needed a laugh

  • Avren

    If you honestly think there is a gigantic athiest super power trying to kill angels with gas, you’re an idiot.

  • Becky

    Is this satire?

  • Ryngeaux

    Hilarious, better than The Onion!!!

  • Doc Bosch

    We are doomed. I live on the North-South flyway for the west coast. I have seen your so called chem-trails and am not dead yet. What Gives?

    • Blanche Beecham

      You are blessed!

  • Cat L

    This page is freaking hilarious! I don’t know who your writers are, but they are primo comedians. I’m laughing so hard, I’m about to pee myself. Unfortunately, there are some pathetic people out there who don’t get satire and will take you seriously. Just be careful not to stir up the small minded too much.

  • rich

    This must be a comedy website

  • Strange

    BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.crackpots.us/ DamOTclese2

    Totally agree, Christians need to fight back, join the Klan, buy as many firearms and aluminum foil as we can afford. Comes the day these Obama terrorists homosexuals are going to comer and fuck ALL OF US UP THE ASS with their big black cocks!

  • Dominique Storni

    This MAY have been an interesting topic, had you not resorted to ad hominem attacks against the black guy in the White House… and had not resorted to blaming atheists with absolutely NO link, data, supporting factual information at all.

    If you think your Christian god is going to save you from your own ignorance, y’all best take a look back at history.

    There was a time when the Christians ruled the world. Please open your history books and turn to The Dark Ages.

    So sad that you turned a pretty damn good topic into absolute rubbish!!!

    • Stephenson_Billings

      My report is verified by countless links throughout the text. Those are the colored bits, if you’re too dumb to spot colored.

      • DrPete61W

        The links are to BS. That’s the only problem. And 9 is hardly “countless,” especially considering the quality of the references.

  • Vincent Goeree

    Oh sure. Because we’re trying to kill beings we dont believe exist. Makes sense.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Satan worship is nothing to joke about, friend.

      • DrPete61W

        Why not? Worshipping nonexistent things is pretty funny.

        • Blanche Beecham

          Science does not exist autonomously outside of man’s influence, yet atheist “believe” in it.

    • DrPete61W

      You can’t worship what doesn’t exist. This is one of the most ridiculous assertions of believers about nonbelievers, right behind “you’re angry at god.” That’s like saying we’re angry at Darth Vader.

  • John Cowan

    Breaking News: Atheists really ARE using chemtrails to kill the angels in heaven. The only way to stop this is to pray! Go on, see if it works!!!

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Harsh, but I am glad we are building evidence through all your atheist confession. I will take a screenshot of this comment, my friend, and use it in the future.

      • John Cowan

        Bwahahahahahahahahaha!
        Apparantly, every time we kill an angel, a gay child is born!

  • FredC1968

    Rats! Foiled again.

  • FredC1968

    And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids.

  • Locust302

    HAHAHA!!!!!!!!! I LOLED SOOOOOOO HARD!!!!!!!!

  • Michael658

    Mr. Billings – You sir, are a nitwit. While I would truly love to entertain with a twelve paragraph dissertation on how incredibly ludicrous this is, I will leave it at one simple question. Why, oh why, would we go to the time and expense to A.) Obtain the various chemicals, B.) Obtain the aircraft to disperse said chemicals, and C.) Pay off FAA officials who would surely prevent us from flying off with a chemical-laden aircraft, all for the sole purpose of destroying beings which we DO NOT believe exist in the first place? Would you go to great time and expense to hunt down and destroy a herd of unicorns? Or perhaps you would prefer Jackelope hunting…
    This is my FB page. feel free. https://www.facebook.com/
    michael.vinson.71

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Hi Michael, you are a close-minded and prejudiced fool if you close your ears to the TRUTH. Or is Soros and Obama paying you to push you lies and insanity on honest journalists like myself? I pray some day the light of reason shines on your smug face. God sees everything, including your chemtrails denialism. God bless.

      • Michael658

        You completely missed the point of my comment, which is not terribly surprising. Your perspective is that the chemtrails are somehow atheist generated, and designed to kill ‘angels’. What part of atheism do you not understand? I ‘splain it to ju. WE DO NOT BELIEVE IN ANGELS! THERE IS THEREFORE NO NEED TO TRY TO KILL THEM! Got it now?!

        • Blanche Beecham

          I hope your guardian angel watches over you and guides you away from this angry lifestyle.

          • Michael658

            And I hope you read some real science books, instead of relying on that book of fables and fairy tales. “Angry lifestyle”? What exactly is that supposed to mean?

          • Blanche Beecham

            Michael, like so many others, you are focused on internet hate and “proving” others wrong. You can’t change yourself, let a lone someone else. You need the help of angels, not a reading syllabi. Your brutish comments reflect your frustration.

      • JRocky

        I think your right mr. billings are angels are probly gettin killed by obamas chemicals. I weep for are angels. God help us.

  • Dam

    I refuse to believe that the so-called “journalists” writing on this website actually believe what they are saying. Is this website a joke? Or is it for real?

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Obamabot.

      • DrPete61W

        That’s the rational, evidence-filled reply of a true journalist.

    • DrPete61W

      I hope it’s a joke for the sake of my faith in humanity.

  • flyingdetrius

    Damn, I thought this would remain secret for at least another 3 years. They had better speed up the program.

  • DrPete61W

    This is paranoid stupidity of the highest order. Wow.

  • http://twitter.com/Skepacabra Skepacabra

    Fuck! He’s onto us! And he’s got a “Dr.” in front of his name so you KNOW it’s true!

  • King007

    I seriously can’t tell anymore if satiare site are becoming more and more common, or if people really are this stupid…….

  • Andy Byrd

    This is just a short-cut to thinking.

  • TheDaleks

    I just found this article, which is now over a year old. It’s hilarious, but I’m sure some demented idiots probably do think shit like this is actually real.

    • http://www.derekwilliams.net Derek Williams

      Sadly, there actually are millions of credulous folks who believe exactly this kind of bunkum.

  • jmalmsten

    “Atheists shake with contempt at the thought of love and decency. Their whole lives are dedicated to nothingness, to the gaping void of pain that nihilism defines. Indeed, atheists love pain. They love pain in their sexual rituals, in their drug addictions and in their secret globalist power schemes. Why do we have war? It’s the atheists who spread contempt of God and invite such reckless notions of communism and Islam.”

    I… I am at a loss for words… I mean… Mr Billings, you are trolling, right? I mean. Wow… just… wow… the amount of… wow… Surely, you cannot be serious when writing this?

  • yippiedad

    I love The Onion…

  • Jussi Kulkevainen

    Just how silly can you get?

  • Jesus sucked gay penis

    You had me at “throbbing passions of love.”

  • http://www.derekwilliams.net Derek Williams

    Militant atheists eat babies.

  • Andy Keeping

    Since this is a ridiculous question. . . . Lets play on your home field.

    A: Chem trails are condensation not volatile chemicals but even if they were. . .

    B: angels are divine, how could chemicals kill them?

    C: Heaven is not in the clouds. It would be a different level of consciousness or dimension (or if you are mormon, on a different planet). We send space craft to space and travel through the atmosphere to get there. No angels, just an eventual barrier in the ionosphere where not even the savviest of evil chemicals could escape the earth’s atmosphere

    D: Atheists don’t believe in angels so they wouldnt waste time trying to kill them. If some one was trying to undermine jesus by… Poisoning angels, they would be something else.

    E: If one works in aircraft control they would know the amount of “test” planes in the air are far exceeded by passenger planes. The amount of test planes in use could not possibly cover an area wide enough to effect the atmosphere

    F: If angels were in the upper atmosphere where these planes fly it would be more likely environmental pressure and lack of oxygen would kill them compared to poison, considering that poison requires ingestion, likely through inhalation, there not being enough oxygen to breathe up there would mean angels wouldn’t be able to survive.

    G:Those barrels of chemicals are weight displacement devices for testing the varying loads of weight when a plane is flying to determine the effects of shifting weight.

    Realistically this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Unrealistically, this is a terrible point to make even if you DID believe in the conditions set by the author.

  • Andy Keeping

    Like I cant even laugh at this like I’m suppose to. It just, cant hold water even in a crazy pond

  • Sreeram

    Atheists don’t have militant agendas! I’m an atheist and I’m just a normal student. Atheistic Science is not involved in Love and Prayer… it’s involved in Dark Matter and the Higgs Boson particle.

  • Bill_Clement

    This is a parody site, right. You people aren’t really stupid enough to believe this crap, are you?

  • Jim Marjoram

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hohohohohohohohohoh lolololololololololol
    WHAKO ALERT!!!

  • David

    I hope this article is a spoof – it is hard to imagine any member of Homo Sapiens (no Lee, thats not a gay love group) could possibly believe this drivel.

  • Alan F

    Dr. Stephenson Billings is a looney

  • Richard P. Weiss

    The stupid hurts.

  • kimee

    this article has to be an Onion type joke that is intended to provoke this hilarious discussion.

  • alexandra jonas

    This article is so stupid, “Investigative journalist” I do think he might be hilarious at children parties, I don’t know what made me laugh more if the “fear of power of angels” or them “dying off in plumes of jetliner butchery” so they are so fucking powerful that you can kill them with bug spray? by the way I killed santa too!! hahaha im going to pee XDDDD

  • corhen

    this post is a farce, a joke, a version of the Onion.. right? right? Oh, god, i wandered into the dumb part of the internet again…

  • John of Indiana

    I actually felt my brain cells wither and die reading this drivel.

  • Miss Elle

    Wow….and i thought Germany had a lot of cuckoo clocks. All of you need tinfoil hats and the rubber room!!!

  • obtunded

    “Militant Atheist” the term is an oxymoron. Nobody ever suicide bombed a shopping mall in the name of promoting astrophysics… nobody ever invaded a country in the name of Unified Field Theory, and I can’t think of too many evolutionary biologists that refuse to teach people on the basis of their sexual orientation. Not many research biochemists I know of that mutilate the genitals of their children because of what they were taught in school. Believe what you want, just keep it to yourself. Live and let live.

  • Grokk Heinlein

    This may be my new favorite website

  • Rob Mark

    You sir are an absolute MORON. Athiests are behind Islam ? Islam is just about the same garbage as christianity. And the two of you have been killing and torturing people for over a thousand years in your ridiculous crusade to prove who has the better god of peace.

  • Rob Mark

    You guys realize this post is being laughed at by millions of people on facebook. It is this weeks “look at the idiot” post

  • Mark Strong

    How long have you been off your meds ?

    Oh, and no chem tanks in the S-76, now not commenting on the S-61 ;-)

  • MichaelD*

    I’m so glad this story was completely researched by an investigative journalist. I know that Mr. Billings is an investigative journalist, because this web site says that he is. It’s reassuring, because if he were not an investigative journalist, I might think that this story about angels and a mad conspiracy of atheist scientists were pure fiction. Being a responsible investigative journalist, I know Mr. Billings must have loads of evidence which he investigated. He must have encountered those angels in his investigations.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Thank you for your support, Michael, and God bless my friend!

  • Gerold

    Post of stupidity like this is why alot of atheist are atheist and proud of it.

  • Commonsense Clint

    And the Christians always wonder why they’re seen as the ignorant and unintelligent of society. As ridiculous as this story is, it could only be plausible if you were talking about Satanists, not atheists. Get over yourselves. You’re not being persecuted. The Christians and Muslims near ISIS are being persecuted. You people just invent nonsense to try to make yourselves look oppressed. You should really do a little research before making idiotic claims that are obviously not true, and only perpetuate the stereotype of your ignorance.

  • doodlebug

    Wait – is this serious or satire? i mean, this guy knows the white stuff from behind planes are called CONtrails, right? As in CONdensation from super-heated air coming from the super-hot jet engines and hitting the much cooler air in the sky? That’s the same thing that forms clouds – unless maybe clouds form as a result of God’s farts. Holy contrails, is God trying to kill us with his holy ASS GAS?????

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Open you eyes and look to the skies, friend. The TRUTH is up there, if you’re willing to shed all the mainstream media lies that have been fed to you since infancy.

      • Vape Escape

        “Open you eyes and look to the skies, friend. The TRUTH is up there, if you’re willing to shed all the intellectual curiosity you have had since infancy.”

        There, fixed it for you.

        It is a special kind of stupid to believe in the chemtrail idea. It can’t even be called a hypothesis and is nowhere close to a theory.

  • Chris Boardman

    Cuckoo cuckoo

  • Robert Lentink

    hahahahahaha omg and people take this serious?

  • Robert Lentink

    hahahahahaha damn.. never read so much crap crammed into one article

  • a

    This is a joke right? I mean people aren’t really this stupid right? I’m concerned for religious people if they can’t find fact in reality. They could be made to believe ANYTHING!

  • Carl Cocchiarella

    You cant kill what doesnt exist

    • Stephenson_Billings

      According to you nihilists, nothing exists. What a rich spiritual life you nutjobs must lead.

      • Vape Escape

        The person who thinks atheists are poisoning the skies above the entire world disguising their work as contrails is calling someone else a nutjob.

        Just because you are crazy doesn’t mean it’s from airplanes. I have an idea. Why don’t you do an experiment? Hire a commercial passenger jet and throw some cameras on it to view the contrails. Somehow I bet even seeing it firsthand wouldn’t change your mind.

        BTW, atheists are not nihilists. There are plenty of people who think leprechauns are real but if I tell them they are not, does that make me a nihilist? Not at all. Angels from heaven are folklore and do not exist.

  • MC

    I think I died with the stupidity in this article… much like the angels we are killing because yolo…

  • eclipse42

    We’re after all of YOU!! Chem-trails are a diversion, it’s the fish that flip their tails to the left!!!! Personal values-guess the concept overwhelms many of “faith”. A-ro-ka-roo-ka-roo I put a spell on you!!! So many stupid Americans! Your beer and whine is next!! hahahahahahahahaha!

  • This Guy

    This is a troll, right? I mean… There’s no way the person who wrote this is really this stupid… RIGHT?

  • Verisimilitude.

    Wow, you all take stupid to a whole new level.

  • MA2589

    this is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages. Thanks, I needed cheering up xD

  • April Parr

    Jesus fucking Christ. Really? Poisoning angels? There really is a grade A crop of dumbfuck kkkristians out there ready to make up shit so wild even a fantasy writer like me couldn’t conceive of it. Thanks for the laugh, though.

  • crispiecrisps

    cods walop is named after a soda drink with a marble stopper.

  • Truism

    Dumb shit is this guy retarded atheists do not believe in heavens or angels do some research dumb ass haha

  • doombadger

    This is the greatest satire I have ever read.

  • Murphy Diamond

    I have never face palmed myself harder than I just face palmed myself a few seconds ago.

    This entire article was one gigantic fallacy, and clearly written by a paid writer who doesn’t necessarily believe this crap, but could articulate it for those not educated enough to do it themselves.

    I pity all of you. Those whom actually believe this, and those whom were unlucky enough to have wasted their time reading this.

  • President Terranova

    This is one of the wierdest articles i’ve ever read.. i really don’t know what to say, i’m speachless.

  • John M.

    The article is satire, you fools. Thank God God is dead. Seeing all the stupid people he created would have killed him!!
    You are all numb nuts.

    • Matt Hamende

      Only thing they left out was GMOs, otherwise its abject projection and its hilarious and sad all at the same time so many people read this in earnest

  • Col

    The “Top secret” EROS facility web site has a visit us section complete with driving directions and you can take self guided tours.

  • Michael Shigetani

    I do hope this is satire.

  • Shane Prugh

    Oh my god is this site, really this stupid? I mean, this is stupidity, on a whole new level, holy fuck. .-.

  • http://www.stepforth.com/ Ross Dunn

    I am waiting to see “A Division of The Onion” somewhere in this site… it is the only thing that could explain the hilarity of this writing.

  • Carl Cocchiarella

    This site is really good for a laugh. Not much more though. Proof of theories and a wee bbit o science would bring some beleiveability to it

  • Julian Benjamin

    Whether you believe in jesus and god is no concern. They exists with your faith or without your faith. The fact is they love you. Its only your expectancy of what love is that damages your belief in the creator. Is the creator real.. look around this tiny tiny piece of dust we are sitting on in a vast vast ocean of universes. Sure the creator exists.

  • Eric William Staeger

    I can’t even… Buwahahahahahahahahahaha

  • Warren Taylor

    Having heard and read some paranoid fantasies in my life, I’m not sure I would have copped to this as satire, until I read the biopic of the author. Very cleverly written, and, in light of Fox “News” and other such purveyors of delusion, quite believable. Jonathan Swift would be proud.

  • jane

    Why on earth would someone go to all that effort and expense to destroy something they don’t believe exists?

  • Shelli

    Seriously…. how do you guys even come up with this bullshit…. are you actually serious… people that follow this shit will be the downfall of society… like really people… angels… poisoning angels… wtf?!?! I can’t believe an article like this even exists… if this is the way Christianity takes you I will stick to science….
    and on a different but apparently no so different note… Obama is awesome and bush was a power hungry mad man. Obama is doing great great things for the US. Bush screwed everything up. He managed to completely destroy the name I can and Canadian economy in one shot. He murdered innocent people and lied to everyone on a regular basis. The only other monster in history that compares to bush is HITLER!!
    Obama is a great man and I wish Canada could have a leader like him. I don’t care where he is from what religion he is or what his skin colour is. A great man is measured by his actions… not his race or religion. I honestly believe that religion and stupidity are the source of most racism and it will be the downfall of this planet. I just hope the scientists can find a way for us to outlive the inevitable apocalypse that is on our doorstep… and no i don’t mean fire reigning down from the heavens… i mean we are killing this planet and no praying at all can change that. Only science can help us now… we let religion do it for a while… no help… we let stupid power hungry people gice it a try… they dug our hole deeper.. give science a try.. it will probably save your life…

    • Shelli

      Ok stupid auto correct bush destroyed our economy… not “name I can”

      • Shelli

        Actually now that i read it “name I can” was supposed to be US.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Grammar much?

  • Felony Eastwood

    The photograph of the muscular young man at the top of the home page with a gun and a flash of light emerging from his crotch is the sexiest, gayest thing I’ve ever seen. Oh It’s a hard dawn all right!!

  • Jesse Hanowell

    This is a joke article right?

  • Julie Swenson

    Is it possible to actually lose IQ points? I think I’m actually dumber from having read this.

  • lmao

    OH NO, THEY’RE ONTO US!!1!!!11!!1!

  • IITM
  • Russ Whiteman

    Seriously people…get help. You don’t have to live in such paranoid fantasy worlds.

  • PropStriker

    Thank Jeebus this is a satire site.

  • Guy Guérin

    … the following site …appears to be satire. Wow… READ yours commenters… DOUBLE WOW… What happening with peoples? Double, no triple… NO… 4 facepalm!

  • Osowoofy

    I’d like to know more about the angels doling out the “throbbing passions of love” please.
    PS: can you wait until I grab my bottle of lube?

  • Denny Meyer

    You folks throw the word christian around like it is something real. It is make believe. You may as well go around saying you raise unicorns. It is a safety net for those who cant deal with their own mortality and human failings and at times “evil”…it excuses everything you do wrong and makes you forgiven so you can do it again

  • Calvin McGuire

    Someone is off their meds again. Such nonsense.

  • http://www.ffrf.org elong21

    This is typical of “loving” Christians. Everything is an atheist conspiracy to destroy religion. Most of these paranoid, delusional “Christians” do not understand that atheism simply means that we do not believe in a supernatural sky-daddy, revealed scripture (that tends to be “revealed” to individuals and not the masses), or miracles (the suspension of the natural laws). We are not out to destroy religion. Worship all you want and whoever you want. That’s in our First Amendment. Atheist do not want America to become a theocracy with Sharia-like law. Keep your theology out of our constitution and government. Keep your theology out of our public schools (you can indoctrinate your own children on your own dime in your own private schools). We do not want our elected officials to make public policy using the ancient writings of ignorant sheep herders that marginalizes women and other people who choose not to believe in that stuff and instead use reason to life the good life. We will never be a “United States” if we don’t overcome this religious power trip. I see postings from supposed Christians all the time saying things things like: “Let’s kill all of the atheists”, etc. Is that what your Christ would do today? Would he walk up and down the streets of America with his semi-automatic and start killing his creations (if you believe that Christ and God are the same)? If that’s your belief, than Christianity is nothing more than a western version of the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS). Funny how the Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) like to kill each other and their own and they all have the same historical origins. If you truly believe in a God, then let him/her/it worry and fix all of Earth’s woes. An omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and benevolent being needs no help from us weak, flawed, and ignorant human beings. Be nice to everyone in this world as you claim that you will have everlasting joy in heaven and all of your suffering will be gone (and if it makes you feel better, you can blame atheists for that, I think that our egos can handle it). What’s a short lifetime of less than 100 years for an eternity of bliss. Can’t we all get along? :-)

  • judoka13

    Wow, you people are crazy. Not just crazy like Uncle Phil, who like to sing karaoke of Aretha Franklin when he’s drunk. But like Charlie Manson crazy.

  • kellyjfinley

    Um, excuse me…but I’m an atheist and I don’t believe in god or any of the other 3000 sky daddies created by humans since we started walking upright, so … um…WHY WOULD I BELIEVE IN ANGELS AND WANT TO KILL THEM!?! This is what drives me crazy…the derp hurts!

  • Jennifer Russell

    Wait, is this supposed to be a serious article?

  • dark slapper

    This whole website is hilarious! I think that the angels are getting sucked into the turbines and coming out the other side as angel dust and that in turn is floating down to earth and turning babys into QUEERS!! I mean, HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT THE QUEERS ARE DOING TO THE SOIL??!!

  • http://www.appsforyoursuccess.com Jeremy J Whaley

    This is a joke right??? Is this a Onion Site??

  • Jacob

    Hahaha. Oh man I love this. Thank you baby Jesus for this comedy gold

  • Derek W Shaw

    Wish I could have that 5 minutes back.

  • Jon

    I lolled.

  • Michael Anderson

    Somebody tell me this is a satire site!

  • Tom

    Awww, and we wonder why the rest of the world thinks religious America is the funniest thing ever. Keep on believing. We’ll keep on giggling!

  • dirt

    hahahahahahahahahahahahaha this is ridiculous

  • Randy Brown

    I can’t believe the guy who wrote this article has followers that take this nonsense seriously

  • Simon Petkovic

    Well this was written by an intellectual person for sure……Dumb cunts everywhere! Especially those of you in the comments section HOLY FUCK! Go dig yourselves a hole and jump in it! You are safe from the chemtrails there!

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Strong language, but I’m grateful for your support young man!!!

  • E O Shupp

    Wow. You folks are nuts. Absolutely OFF your ROCKERS .If you are this paranoid, you all might as well kill yourselves now, because you are not enjoying anything in life.

  • disqus_ggvdslgvY6

    How often do you think about the air you breathe?

    Oxygen: Gas of Life, or Secret Military Death-Vapor?

  • Karen Husted

    I cannot stop laughing. Thank you. The bit about atheists loving pain is a scream.

  • Jessica Papp

    WOW! You people are whats wrong with america, oh btw, your religion is childish and FAKE, its all fake enjoy living your little lie of a life you pathetic gutter slime!

  • Julie Dawn

    Obama is doing just fine despite all the hate slung at him and anyone who believes nonsense like the above article is delusional. Grow up, people. You’re embarrassing yourselves.

  • http://www.mrutherford.com Mark Rutherford

    You moron. It’s water vapor.

  • gotmonkey

    It takes a special kind of brilliance/insanity to keep my wondering if this is satire or not

  • Darwin

    Jesus fucking Christ, they’re on to us.

  • Rodijah Peters

    This is a lot of bullshit! How presumptuous to link religion and chemtrails! Scientists are NOT atheists! Islam is NOT the work of the devil! Most Christians don’t deserve to be called such because of the degree of hate and prejudice they promote. Religions divide humanity, each claiming to KNOW what cannot be known! And Obama did not create chemtrails – they are not the creation of a political party!

  • Dale

    This is Poe as its finest!

  • Randy

    As I sit here twisting my giant mustash plotting how, in some kind of psydo militant way, I can next find ways to take the Jesus out of all christians Everywhere……

    Please, this is parinod propaganda at it’s worst. Listening to the religious Nutcases scream about what victims they are and how the whole world is tring to chemically castrate them is so pathetic it hardly rates a comment

  • Astto

    That’s it, the stupidest fucking thing I’ve read all day.

  • XCellKen

    I call POE on this entire site

  • jody

    Atheists don’t believe in God hence they don’t believe in God’s angels -so it’s bonkers to suggest that atheists are trying to destroy something they don’t believe exists

  • Chris

    OMG this is the stupidest article I have ever read, why would somebody try to poison something they didn’t believe?? Atheists don’t want to kill god or his minions, they just want all the fanatics to logically look at the situation, and face the facts! This article is the same as saying that Christians have been actively trying to hunt and kill bugs bunny.

  • gary

    Are people really so stupid that they believe this nonsense?
    I guess they must be? – if they believe the word of the bibble or torah or koran I guess they’re already committed to the “dumb” cause…… *Facepalm*

  • Rod Haney

    Wow,, I can’t stop laughing!!!

    Somebodies tin foil hat is on just a little too tight.

  • BenardFox

    What I find fascinating is the same chemical used for mind control also works to destroy angels. Hahaha this site is hilarious. If any of you guys are taking this seriously then… well… good luck in life.

  • Justice For All

    What an incredibly inaccurate, bigoted, short sighted, ignorant piece this is. I am atheist and I joined the Army to work in a hospital so I could help human beings, period. I didn’t do that because I am devoid of ‘love and decency’, in fact those two things were what drove me to sign up in the first place. I didnt care who I helped, all people are humans to me and deserve to be treated with the same common decency as anyone else. It doesnt matter what color a persons skin is, what country they’re from, what religion they practice, or what their sexual orientation is; we all need the same things to survive on this planet. If anyone is contributing to the demise of religion in this country, it would be you.

  • jimbo

    oboy, I love stupidity.

  • jimbo

    these attacks on atheism are becoming common across the sites that use Disqus, beware what your reading. This is just plain stupidity masked as some sort of learned discourse. It’s horseshit, most commonly used by the christianistas to convert the stupid.

  • trustscience

    lol this is absolute foolishness. its the year 2014 people. anybody who actually thinks this stuff is real, is to far gone for help. your adults, not children. you should be able at this stage in your life to differentiate between make believe, and reality.

  • Travis Butler

    Pretty sure that the religitards have just proven how idiotic they are by believing this satire.

  • Travis Butler

    We wouldnt try to kill your angels because we dont aknowledge the existence of angels. If you xtians or whatever gullible religion you follow believes this,than i almost feel dorry for uour lack of brain function.

  • Red

    This is one of the goofiest theories I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading!

  • 876459023

    65372, marked for targeting by SSAC.

  • theron

    I love this website.