10 Terrible Secrets Behind the “Burning Man” Festival That Sodomites and Socialists Don’t Want You to Know!

Posted on by Stephenson Billings

hellAt the end of every summer, a secret cult gathers in an obscure corner of the Nevada desert. They’re young, they’re old, they’re from nations across the world. They say they’re celebrating artistic creativity and old-fashioned self-reliance. Maybe they’re even planting a seed that could change our culture forever… Yet what really happens behind those 6-foot high gates and armies of security guards? Does this scene pose a clear and present danger to America’s youths? Why does this celebration of sodomy and socialism look so much like the worst of End Times Bible prophecy?

1. “Creativity” is a Codeword for Sex
We often think of “artists” as sleazy manipulators and nowhere is this more true than at Burning Man, where so-called painters, photographers, sculptors and poets prowl for fresh young flesh to use in their degenerate projects that no one in the real world would ever notice.

2. “Environmentalism” Means Composting Your Own Shit By Hand
Sorry for the coarse language, but these people are foul!

3. Fires Attract Slutty Women 
A burning fire excites a woman’s natural irrationality. Hypnotized by the bright flashes of color, she will confuse her emotional neediness with lust. The licking flames and the mounting heat become a call to action in the feminine mind, a call that she will recklessly follow into the darkness and lick and mount with delirious intent until the early dawn.

4. The Only Thing Communal is the Pubic Lice Population 
Does this really need any further explanation?

5. I’ll Pass on the Free Massage, Thanks 
Where else can you find tender young men freely giving themselves over to hot oils and the curious, calloused hands of a guy who looks like Jeff Lebowski?

6. If Cyclists Ruled the World We’d All Be Screwed 
People who worship their shiny bicycles more than human contact are a cause of great concern in our society. Yet at Burning Man, these freakish, militant outcasts are given free reign to explore the fantasy of a public transportation infrastructure based solely on sweaty hippies. Is it any wonder the whole thing collapses after only one week?

satanic7. “Radical Self Reliance” = Getting Stoned for 168 Hours Straight 
Rich white kids alone in nature with no school, work or parents? What do you expect!

8. The “Temple” Offers Bargain-Bin Spirituality for Those Too Cheap to Attend Church
Why invest time and effort into your eternal soul when some shirtless accountant from Duluth can sum up human existence in just five hours of bong hits and hacky sack while feeling up your girlfriend’s leg?

9. Sodomy 
“Exploring My Sensual Side” means getting pounded in a Port o’ Potty by some gamer geek dressed up as Avatar. With the door open. And a 30-minute line.

10. The Burning of Burning Man Represents the American Phallus 
By promoting environmentalism, artistic creativity and wanton female sexuality, Burning Man is attempting to castrate masculinity from American culture. The giant flaming effigy that closes the event symbolizes a new internal fire ignited within each and every person. Indeed, most will come to understand that this fiery sensation is actually the clap, one of the most memorable secrets that attendees take home with them from the Burning Man experience.

  • Laura

    You people are absolutely hilarious. I hope to the gods that this is satire.

  • Jane

    i just confused my reaction to this article with lust.

  • rhonan

    Read the author’s bio. If motivational children’s party entertainer is not a dead give away, you must be new to the Internet.

  • Erich Sean

    Burn “The Man” now and burn in HELL later!

  • Laura

    Sorry, man. I live in the bible belt and this kind of thing is creepily common. It’s scary that I have to even ask this question. Good to know it’s a joke, I was getting legitimately afraid of the crusades, take two.

  • Laura

    Yes, I can’t wait to meet Hel. I’ve heard she’s quite a nice girl. I don’t expect I’ll be seeing you there, though.

  • rhonan

    These folks follow Poe’s Law, and always leave some clue that it’s satire.

  • Heather

    Hahahaha this is a great laugh. Clearly you know nothing. And I agree I hope this is a satire as well.

    • What’s clearly sad is that you weren’t sure

  • charity

    thanks for the coffee up the nose… ill be sending you my bill 😉

  • Thkaal

    This is almost identical to Daily Kos, only on the other side of pteradidae fecal delusionary behavior.

    • Lisa McPherson

      Another wing-nut too stupid to spot satire.

      • Thkaal

        I finally decide to come back to this and realize I’ve been responded to by a wing-not too stupid to spot amusement at satire.

  • baruchzed

    This is a hoot…the whole site is satire, right?

  • Stephanie

    For those wondering if this is satire or not… the web address is HARDDAWN.com. Go ahead, say it out loud. 🙂

    • Jenny

      Morningwood.com must have already been taken.

  • playamoth

    One track mind people with a lack of mental sophistication can easily be swayed to believe that this is Gospel.

    • Erik Nmre Overn


    • Brink of Complexity™


    • Well, since they think gospels are Gospel…

  • Major-D

    2014 will be my 11th year going. There is almost nothing he said that’s true (except #5), but that won’t stop people from quoting him. After all, it’s “on the internet,” so it must be true.

    • thenonsequitur

      I hope you’re joking. As a long-time burner myself, I can personally attest that everything here is completely true.

      • David

        I hope you’re joking because none of it is true.

  • LHaywood Coffey

    I journeyed to Burning Man last year to see it before the entire event
    went corporate after being sold by the original organizer. I was greeted
    at the ticket gate by two naked homosexuals engaged in anal sex and
    juggling at the same time. I gave my admissions
    pass what appeared to be a woman with a penis implanted onto her
    forehead. I was told that’s what she used to sodomized goats when out on
    her part time job as a desert Shepard back at home where she made extra
    money by producing animal porn with various creatures, alive and dead,
    but mostly dead. After entering I was flabbergasted to see thousands of
    naked bodies surrounding a huge stature of Beelzebub chanting something
    in Latin I didn’t understand. Many of the people were on their knees
    and many of them were being sodomized by other participants who were
    also chanting. Surrounding the idol of the beast in a large pentagram
    shape were living humans nailed tree trunks upside down, all of whom had
    been coated in paraffin and oil as to be used as candles in order to
    light up the night with bright flame and who were screaming in agony as
    fire slowly consumed their bodies. I considered turning back, but I
    vowed to continue my journey into this otherworldly Hell in order to
    report back to the unknowing world my experiences.

    • you mom

      Wow! They juggled and screwed at the same time? That is talent!!!

    • Stephenson_Billings

      I’m sorry to hear that but it only confirms every other report I’ve read about this orgy fest.

      • Donna

        I’m sorry to tell you that he was joking. But you could hire him. His imagination is as colorful as yours.

    • brent

      Nice to know you never went. No one really needs people like you there.

    • Sarah B

      It’s funny that you think we are all so ignorant and gullible to find one bit of truth in your statement…..oh wait, you must be a preacher or possibly a politician, both of whom are phenomenal at fabricating lies in hopes to engage the masses. You probably should post your hallucination on fox.com where you may just get the audience you’re looking for. I’m sure they’ll eat your bullshit right up! Best of luck to you.

      • Lisa McPherson

        Too bad you are not smart enough to spot that he was playing along with the author’s joke.

  • Liah

    Your “10 Terrible Secrets of Burning Man” article should actually be called “10 ignorant opinions from a racist, Christian fundamentalist hate monger”. You poor, sad little man. Why do you have to spread these lies and negativity? Where you not held enough as a child? Is your penis really, really small? It’s so obvious that you’ve never been to Burning Man. I actually had the good fortune to experience Burning Man and guess what? I met some of the most talented, beautiful, open, kind, happy and helpful people there. I have traveled all around the world and there is no place like Burning Man. Someone like you who judges people based on sexuality, race and religious belief would never understand an experience like Burning Man and guess what? It is not meant for you.

    • LHaywood Coffey

      Liah if you only knew the evil Satan worship and other that goes on in the gut of just one BM, it would scare the shit out of you.

    • David D. Gardner II

      (It’s parody)

    • Lexi

      “It is not meant for you”. What sort of radical inclusion are you practising, Liah?

  • Bradley Jenkins

    I love Burning man

  • Harry Larvae

    Hillarious !! Everyone knows that the people who go to Burning Man are really aliens from a distant planet. I think the sodomites are really predominately priests around the corner in your neighborhood church though not Burning Man. I love when people try to guess what happens at BM and have a vivid imagination all of which is false. Dr. Stephenson Billings is the strangest part of life…not Burning Man what a hoot this guy is!! BTW…..he isn’t really a doctor either…… lol!!!!

  • Peter Marmorek

    Try saying, “Hard Dawn” fast a few times. That’s the first clue.

  • bishop joey

    you tube helco burning man

  • Devin

    Burning man sucks. I hate the two plus weeks those scum bags come to my city

    • Erik

      i hate burning man to. I hate it so much i’ll have to go again to experience the pain I caused me

    • David

      Two weeks? I missed an entire week? And if we make your life so miserable we’re doing our job well.

  • Don Jensen

    Roll on. You guys are top drawer. Hilarious.

  • Saul Goodman

    I second # 6, damn bicyclesiastis….

  • Yard

    As to number 2 (so to speak), Mr. billings really sets a high standard for burners everywhere, satire or no. Though I guess 7 days would be a pretty fast compost for that kind of thing.

  • Dia

    This piece does for burning man what half naked women did for beer commercial and axe body spray. Some virgin from a far land will sue burning man because playa goddesses don’t fall to his feet. This virgin will also believe that the most interesting man in the world is real. Burners will laugh. The humor written into this list is great. I would liked the authors bio to have read that he’s motivational speaker who lives in a van by the river. :p :o)

  • roblimo

    “Fires Attract Slutty Women” I love it! Let me go light my outdoor fireplace…

  • alias unknown

    The sad state of affairs in the country when the uninformed have the ability to comment on topics they know nothing about! Go back home and pet you cat, cause that is the only pussy you will get. See America, Doctors are not always right, Do some research on your own, and no the internet doesn’t count. Get out there and see what life has to offer, then make your own personal informed judgement.Just as i don’t judge the Doctor for being a uninformed protagonist, he shouldn’t judge those who actually know what life is about. Go out and see the world Doctor Billings, maybe then you will humble up a little and realize that your narrow minded views should be expanded before you write reports of “secrets”. You are just a sad lonely undereducated quack with no body to go home to at night. Instead of hating others, maybe you should realize that growing up without a positive male role model in your life has jaded your pathetic existence to finding fault in others, when really the fault lies with you! Have a good day says all my lice-covered hedonistic hippie friends.

    • thixotropic

      Please, read the URL in the address bar. Read it aloud, quickly. Get it?

      Now, back to the (arthropod-free) hedonistic hippie friends.

  • humm

    I’ve been a long time burner and volunteer a lot at the event. Everything is 100% true here and therefore all of the new people thinking of buying tickets this year should save their money and atleast 50% of last years residents should also stay home and spend time in church instead of the playa.
    The rest of us will enjoy our time much more thank you for believing this article.

  • Mirror Man

    #10 – the Clap – of course – but, doggone it, not anytime for me at BMan since before 1997 – uhm, that would be Korea, 1976… But yep, perfect, knew the feeling well…!

  • Gabriel Mean-Boy

    I can’t believe i just read that.

  • Jhawk

    If it is what you say it is, you have just did the opposite of what you thought you would. More people will go see this abomination and now you have made me one of them. Thank you. All my friends came back with their anus’ still in the ‘virgin status’ so I will take my chances on what they said versus some crackpot looking for attention in the most foul of ways. May your hard dawn about posting retarded BS like this, Go Soft. Thank you very little in this attempt to defile something that allows people to express them self however they choose in a world where things like this occur in a desert because of judgmental people that claim to be “Normal” in our system of delusional pricks. I say good day!!

    • Edward Delavilla

      BRAVO! I’ve seen people like this all the time. Miserable people who hide behind “comedy” to attack anyone or anything. It’s sad.. I pity people like this. They’ll never get the attention they so crave for..

    • David

      Your friends may have told you they came away with their collective anus’ untouched but that’s the secret of Burning Man. We don’t tell people about the incredible amount of anus porking that goes on. It’s our little secret.

  • Sula Marvin

    Fuck you and your entire article. It sucked.

  • Edward Delavilla

    why are you even associating burning man with all of this stuff, satire or not? Why not make an article about the 10 awesome things of BM. Why the negativity and bashing on other people who haven’t gone or who don’t get your satire, with more witty comebacks? all to show your wittiness? kinda self centered and egotistical, no? Is this what BM represents? I haven’t gone, and have nothing against it.. but seeing this and how people are responding about it does turn people off in general, including me.

    • Manda

      I think this whole thing is incredibly upsetting and a violation of justice. Its prejudice and slander and I’m seriously freaking out right now.

    • bimini

      these are the sort of bad “jokes” that get people killed.

    • GnUshA

      Maybe you should wait to go to BM until you grow some balls brah.

      • Edward Delavilla

        Nah, I’ll just stay positive and productive making my album in my studio, than be part of your fickle fake world full of dropping balls….

        • David

          Working on that album again? I guess anyone who records things out of their garage is working on their album.

  • Lapis Tigris

    I live in the bible belt too, and saw some eerily similar crap written about the Rainbow Family by a ‘respectable journalist’. *sigh* Figured it was a joke when I read it, but you never know.

  • Jesus-Lover-Call-Me-Mary-M

    Finally the truth be spread! Amen brother!

    • Tyrell D’Finkadink

      LOL Really? One article on a spoof site, and you think its truth. The only thing being spread in the church are butt-cheeks. Jesus doesn’t love you. He told me so while tending to my lawn earlier.

  • John_C

    OMG, based on the comments Burners have no sense of humor. Get over yerselves!

  • Joman

    The lens flare on the guy’s groin at the top of the page, coupled with the name, “Hard Dawn,” is what gave it away for me.

  • BurningFan

    Wow my ears are sodomized just listening to this.

  • KP

    Ignorance is the lack of knowledge. Stereotyping is a sign of ignorance. Fruit trees grow best in human shit. I hope you learn to live before you die and your children find real love in the desert.

  • zLerner

    I’ve been to 2 Major (Nevada) and 3 regionals (Lakes of Fire). He’s got it wrong. Methinks the author has never been to one and lets his kinky nasty imagination run wild. My advice. Chill out, relax, go to a Burn, experience sharing, creativity and community then write about. You’d be a little wiser, and tell a different story. Probably he won’t, going to a Burn takes a little bit of balls.

  • kent

    Well satire or not his choice of words are tasteless and it shows how narrow minded the writer is. I have a lot of friends that went their and they experienced the contrary of what this naive writer wrote. Everyone has the right to his opinion but this one his his thoughts in the dumpster.

  • Nicolas De Panam

    Wow you guys are way sicker than the Burners themselves ! No wonder this country is going down the drain !

  • Joshua

    This is absolutely sad and FAR!!!!! FETCHED!!!! Get a clue you sad sad man. Your a Dr. Of journalism for duechery. Go fuck a soda bottle and maybe you will realize your ego in collecting antique corprate trash and noting you do so in your “about”. I pray for an early acceptance of any opportunity to the liberation and universal love shared, not abused by any ill intents, that burning man has to offer. Lmao and with a clowns pity for your reality and perspective on such efforts. God bless you brother. We will be waiting w arms of loving grace & compassion when u wanna come home

  • KMK420

    The author of this should be hung by his nuts he must be a conservative with his head up his ass

    • Mths Dillinger

      And you should be learnt satire, and maybe humor in general 🙂

  • Peechizz M. Botwin

    Is this a joke? Cause this is literally the opposite of everything that happens there?

  • William DeVilla

    Hahaha lol

  • aimee

    same.. geez us woman are just too easy … pretty funny stuff

  • amber

    wait….. does this mean tickets are on sale?

  • dready

    LMAO. I have just a couple of points to make… It doesn’t matter rather this is a real article or not. Some people out there believe everything that is written in it, and that’s just sad…I agree that there is a lot of homosexuality, that’s not a secret there is also a lot of heterosexuality, bisexuality and asexuality there. If you don’t like it don’t go. I for one am not so insecure in my orientation that I feel threatened by everyone who is different from me. The bottom line is people that go there go because it makes them happy. If it doesn’t make you happy to go then don’t go, because trust me if that how you feel it probably better for everyone.

    • David

      There’s a lot of homosexuality? Then how did I miss it all? Guess it being my first time I wasn’t experienced enough to pick things like that out. Well this year I’m getting knee deep in the homosexuality.

  • Ghis

    Wow…an A for effort mr. Billings.
    Please keep an eye on your bloodpressure, and be sure to turn a blind one to everything that happenes beyond your white picket fence.
    You just might wake up and smell the burning men one day. And we would’t want that to happen, now would we…?

    • Stephenson_Billings

      Thank you for the concern but I am perfectly healthy for a man my age. I used to play football in high school and have always respected my body. In America today, it’s a bit normal to have some meat on your bones. I always find the skinny ones suspect, to tell you the truth.

  • SerbianIrishYankee

    This article sounds like it written by someone who never been laid before.

    • JacktheBaptist

      I think this was all inspired by the grocery counter rag “The Star.” It’s not satire; it’s exploiting right wing gullibility. I can see the staff laughing, but this could be dangerous.

      • SerbianIrishYankee

        I suspected satire that when I read the various “authors” credentials. Didn’t pass the smell test. CIA award winning ex-Navy Seal blogger? I highly doubt that.

  • Peter Walker

    Quick – everybody cancel church camps. The campfires might get a little kinky! We better tear down the Sistine chapel and pretty much every church on earth, the art must be causing huge orgies!
    If only religious nuts spent time spreading love and not hate…

    • Stephenson_Billings

      We resolved this problem by limiting camps to members of the same gender. You don’t have multi-sex Christian overnight trips. And our fires are much calmer and gentler than the wild barn fires you people have.

      • David

        If you don’t think there isn’t any camp hopping going on you are really naive, dude.

  • Sheryl Ann Noethe

    You need help, desperately. Go immediately to the nearest asylum and check yourself in.

  • Glo

    . Fires Attract Slutty Women,that was the best

  • Kae Oz

    You had me at “womens natural irrationality”.
    I wonder if any crazy religious people follow this site wirhout realizing it is satire makig fun of them? That is a scary thought.

  • Ja Z Nette

    i hate burning man

  • Me

    I think I’ll go light a campfire…

  • manchegauche

    A European could be forgiven for thinking this wasn’t satire though. I mean there are a few nutters and cranks in the good hole USA….

  • 2up

    I regularly skim right wing and christian websites for the entertainment value and I have to say. This one could easily pass for one of those. It’s not as outrageous as you may think.

  • fgvyti

    Satan will set you free.

  • simpletask1

    Whoever wrote this article sounds like the preacher who made a big fuss over the invention of the bycycle saying that it was a “tool of the devil” or the preacher who said that root beer was a really bad thing. Why are so many modern religious people who live in modern cities so superstitious about things that they have no working knowledge of? They *assume* that everything they don’t understand has something seriously negative hiding in the bushes ready to drag them down into eternal damnation and flames. Often the only harm in something is the negative, untrue message they give out when they shriek back in horror at something their own God created to be enjoyed.

    Message to religious people: Beware, lest your behavior resembles such superstitious responses and lest you unnecessarily contaminate innocent minds (young or old) searching for and needing true answers to the questions of life. You confuse your [behaviorially learned] strong emotions as being either the Voice of God or the Word of Satan, when nothing could be further from the truth. To your own detriment, you trust the teaching of your fathers, mothers, leaders and forbears to be true and absolute, never having done your homework (aka your OWN research) to prove whether or not they had it all mapped out perfectly. This is a discredit to you and undermines your credibility. Pay attention to your own holy scripture when it says, “Study to show yourself aporoved unto God, a workman not ashamed, and rightly dividing the word of truth.”

  • JudeM47

    I have a whole lot of Burner friends and by all accounts this is pretty accurate, with a teensy bit of embellishment. Maybe

    • Mentious

      The description sounds very similar to other real-life accounts of this degenerate rave.

      • David

        I hope you’re joking because if you’re not you’re as brain dead as he is.

    • freethinker57

      Have been multiple times, and this was written by someone who has NO clue what BM is like. Seriously.

      • obadiahorthodox

        yeah, he forgot to mention the thousand dollar tickets

    • bullshit

  • Name

    DO you ever stop to listen to the noise that spews out of your face holes, and that settle into your minds. You really are just…stupid.
    So, i guess you’re right at home on the internet!

    SPEW ON!

  • TomThumbKnuckle

    Hey, that sounds just like Bohemian Grove, except the crowd is older and far less sexier!!

  • Coyote

    I knew this article was full of shit in the first paragraph where it mentions the “six foot high gates”. I’m the City Superintendent of Black Rock City and building the perimeter is under my supervision. It’s actually a orange plastic trash fence about waist high. This horse fart of an article does have it’s entertainment value, however. I got a snort out of it.

    • Mama B

      Rock on coyote! See ya next year…..funny stuff!!

  • Burner

    You obviously have never been to Burning Man. You’re an idiot.

  • Pan T. Free

    Christians don’t use the word pounded in print. I’m pretty sure this is tongue in cheek. Or tongue in anus in keeping with the sodomite theme.

    • Stephenson_Billings

      So you’re the self proclaimed expert on Jesus now? Not only are you arrogant to claim to speak for America’s Christians, you’re completely missing the point about the incredible danger drugs and sex festivals like this play in the lives of our children. But then again, maybe the idea of children and sex and drugs is a turn on for you? Perv…

      • Pan T. Free

        This troll knows me so well! X-ray vision or something. Hee hee…

  • SwanSongRebeL

    God of hellfire! Embrace my neediness! Now!

  • Swan Rebel

    i wish I could go man. Fire…oooooh.

  • beef

    You make a lot of empty connections with people who flake out and forget you almost immediately once someone else “attractive” enters their field of view. It’s not a “free love” thing as a lot of people like to describe it as. It’s pretty much just everyone being a raging slut… so leave your true feelings and conscience at the gate.

  • dude

    but the clap is asymptomatic.

  • Rr

    Good way to decrease the number of folks wanting tickets.. Continue on…

  • Shpilkus

    That does it. I am so going to this party. There is nothing here that I don’t want to touch, feel or smell.

  • Henry Exhaust

    You guys are full of Sh*t. Go on believe in your invisible sky creature!

  • is this shit a joke? am I at the Onion website???? “We often think of “artists” as sleazy manipulators” what the holy fuck? you people need to be banned from writing articles. absolute comedy.

  • The Unabashed Progressive

    Where in the official-size-and-weight actual fuck do you batshit vendors get this crap?

  • David Sheridan

    I love how they talk about events but have never actually been there, he just guesses. very scary he teaches children things. What kind of Dr. is he Dr. in stupidity?

  • David Sheridan

    I guess I should read the other headlines surely satire.

  • David

    Sodomy in the port-o-potties? That’s why i haven’t been able to get my share. I didn’t think of cruising the port-o-potties. At least this year I’ll know where to go. Thanks to the author for the inside info.

  • David

    Sadly, this fruitcake is 100% serious.

  • tammy

    This whole artical is riduculous! Im sure there are some things that happen that probably shouldnt but thats anywhere you go…you can even say going to walmart is a cultish activity! Lol! Because the thibgs you speak of happen in places like that everyday! Everything has a light and dark side! But everyone is entitled to their opinion….so I hope that when you went to visit you were cured of “the clap’ and you were able to wash all the sex from scarred eyeballs and mind…you poor thing! But I also hope that you got see all the beauty In it as well! A closed mind is an awful place to be living! I will be celebrating my 50th birthday there and I am super pumped!

  • Kaylee-Aurora

    Somebody should just call 911 next time they have one of these parties. This can’t be legal with the drugs and the sex. I really hate to think what would happen if we gave these socialists more power. They are turning America into a welfare state and its made it so hard for me to get a job even though I took many courses in communications and there just nothing because of what Obama did to the economy and at least under Bush there were positions in the military. Oh well, I know things will get better with Trump but that’s like two years from now and I cant hardly wait.

  • Guest

    Whoever wrote this is a dumb piece of shit.!!

  • Steven Bannister

    Actually, this really isn’t hilarious at all. Same old formulaic satire that’s been done sooooo many times before. Take a semi-believable story, mix in some conspiracy theory, throw in an occasional biblical reference, make fun of Christians and conservatives by comically exaggerating their positions, yada yada. This crap is old. Yawn, later.

  • Jill Kelly-Moore

    Some clues tell you; look at the ads. It is serious and this is what Trump supporters look like and how they think. Truth means nothing, opinion, everything. Decency means nothing, power, everything. Equality means nothing, unearned privilege…everything.

    • Gina Lolobrigida

      It’s satire, DUH.

  • Paulah

    Are you SERIOUS? I’m a woman and I could read you the riot act for an hour and a half just based on your comments about how confused I become about my own emotional needs that a campfire could trick me into being an irrational thoughtless whore!!
    That aside there are no walls or gates, no security force save the local law enforcement making sure everyone is safe and law abiding, As for lice – I can’t address the personal hygiene of 60,000 people, but the akaline nature of playa dust is the same as diatomaceous earth – a substance used to eliminate algae in your pool and to kill insects without use of pesticides, therefore, one day at burning man would be the last day for any lice or other insects you might have brought along with you ! This event is open to the public and is not in ANY WAY a cult or secret society. Even YOU would be welcome to attend if you would like to do some ACTUAL investigative reporting as opposed to spewing propaganda and lies to people – presuming you even have an audience. Furthermore, if artists are suspect in your world you better rethink your penchant for creative writing my friend, because you’ve taken quite a bit of creative license with this story in that it’s obvious you’ve never been anywhere near burning man or even met and interviewed someone who has, and the last I heard, creative writing IS AN ART FORM, Mr. imagination!!
    IF ANYONE BELIEVES THIS STORY – you should get out of the house more ! God created a beautiful world with a beautiful life in mind just for YOU , and you are swallowing fear whole by listening to lies instead of living and experiencing for yourself as God intended
    Just my opinion. I’m wholeheartedly offended you would call yourself a representative of good. You are evil Dr. Billings and in your heart you know you are not doing the right thing by making up and spewing bile about subjects you know nothing about. You can’t make things up and pass it off as doctrine and call yourself a good man and a servant of the lord. Do the work, don’t trick yourself into being a tool for the wrong side because it’s easier.
    Everything you said in this article is a factual lie. Shame on you!!

  • Ian.Berlin

    As long as he stays in the bubble belt he can as well think the goat man is throwing the burning man for all I care.

  • Lyon Reese

    OK, wait, wait, just so I have all this correct… your web page’s logo is a (from what we can see) naked man, buff and oiled, holding a gun in front of his penis, with a sacred light glowing from his nut sack, directly over the words “homosexual agenda”, and you named it HARD dawn? Seriously?!?!?! There is less repressed homosexuality at an MMA training center in central Kansas, than there is on this web page!

  • robert

    None of what was said in this write up about burning man is particularly disturbing to me.
    The queers have a right to be queer.
    The women have a right to be loose once in a while.
    I have no problem with big bonfires.
    Occult symbols are, and have been a part of humanity since to dawn of writing.
    That said:
    I am a student of Satanism, and the occult, and ( although in this case, I have not been able to find it ) there is something sinister going on here. I liken what is happening in our modern world, ( burning man an example ) the same way folks looked at the iceberg which struck the Titanic. Folks saw a little ice floating on the surface, and ignored it, but the big problem which killed them all, was the mountain of ice under water.
    The threat to humanity is not so much “burning man” , but rather the threat comes from those folks with sinister, satanic motivations supporting it.

  • ryu238

    Its hard to tell. I wish they stop because they are Sam Hyde annoying

  • Playa Mates

    I have made the pilgrimage to this desert event many times and can only wish it were the way this author describes so it would be more fun.

  • Simon

    This is parody, right?