Because Morning in America Wont Be Easy

Trump Nation's preëminent literary journal of prepping, patriotism and prophecy.

With Time of the Essence, Republicans Debate Which Trump Golf Course They Plan to Name the Coronavirus Vaccine After

Fri, Apr 3, 2020 | By Stephenson Billings

Senate Majority Leader McConnell isn’t afraid to use a global crisis as an opportunity to ingratiate himself with the President and secure his throne in the pantheon of ignominy. Senior Republicans announced this week that they will set aside any future funding for the National Institutes of Health until an agreement can be reached on the next stage of the COVID-19...

Zoom’s Secret Purpose as a Peer-to-Peer Porn Site is Finally Being Revealed

Thu, Apr 2, 2020 | By Henricus Institor

Home office video conferencing has become an essential way for employers to keep an eye on their workers during the pandemic, but it may come with unforeseen risks. It all started with the ridiculous “remote workday” trend a few years back. Suddenly, millions of Americans were demanding to dial into the office from their grubby bedrooms, dressed only in coffee-stained...

Kaylee’s Korner: Bernie Sanders Wants to Take Away MY Right to Speak to a Manager!

Wed, Apr 1, 2020 | By Kaylee-Aurora

Much like Marx and Mao, Socialist Sanders wants to take away the inalienable of right of a white woman to demand a manager during a retail emergency. I’m a white gal who loves God and Country. So, you can imagine, I’m used to having my views spat on by the Cultural Marxists who run everything today. Despite all the identity politics those people are shoving down...

In 3am Tweetstorm, Trump Appoints His Favorite Golf Cart the Next Deputy Director of the National Institutes of Health

Wed, Apr 1, 2020 | By Henricus Institor

In a move certain to make many liberal heads explode, President Donald Trump appointed a beloved golf cart from his West Palm Beach club as the next Deputy Director of the National Institutes of Health with direct oversight of Dr. Anthony Fauci. The announcement came in a 3am Tweetstorm that included attacks on Hillary Clinton’s handling of the Tide Pod Pandemic and...

VP Pence Bans Power Bottoms From Grindr, Orders the App to Be “LTR” Only

Wed, Apr 1, 2020 | By Stephenson Billings

The Grindr allows men involved in the gay lifestyle to order sweaty and ready sex partners with just a few taps on their mobile telephones. The Vice President’s Coronavirus Taskforce claimed emergency powers this week over a smartphone app that targets homosexuals and their uncontrollable urges. Supporters of the administration cited the move as evidence that the White House...

Funds That Trade in the Life Insurance Policies of Food Delivery Workers Offer a Ray of Hope for Struggling Investment Bankers

Wed, Apr 1, 2020 | By Moishe Mustafa McPhearson

One investment banker has found a silver lining to the pandemic, and a potential piggybank of profit. The coronavirus has hit Chuck “Chip” Andlord particularly hard. He once spent 14-hours a day as a master of the universe at his Wall Street trading desk. Now, because of the coronavirus, he’s been forced to sequester at his seven-bedroom Upper East Side townhouse....

House of Hypocrisy: AOC Splurges on Aspirin, Kleenex While Corporate Tax Relief Stalls in Congress

Wed, Apr 1, 2020 | By Stephenson Billings

Ocasio-Cortez is facing harsh criticism after it was revealed she purchased high-end Aloe vera-infused Kleenex tissues using taxpayer funds.© Wikimedia Commons User: nrkbeta / CC-BY-SA-3.0 The halls of Congress were engulfed in yet another scandal this week when Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s spending habits were revealed by an anonymous Twitter account. The widely-shared...

Anonymous Twitter Patriot Organizing Mass Protests Against the Coronavirus

Wed, Apr 1, 2020 | By Henricus Institor

One protestor has already taken his powerful message to the White House. A grassroots movement that began with a single Tweet is threatening to shake up America’s political status quo. It all started late one Tuesday night when an anonymous account named simply AverageAmericen293827 sent out the following message, “Come protest the #Coronavirus with fellow real Americens...

Elitist Green New Deal Will Hurt Working Class Private Jet Stewardesses, Blue Collar Rolls Royce Mechanics

Wed, Apr 1, 2020 | By Rabbi Tippy Plumridge

Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross takes the unspoken horrors of the Green New Deal personally. At a private fundraiser this weekend in Palm Beach, Florida, he tore up his prepared remarks and spoke from the heart about the damage such a socialist plot could do to some very vulnerable Americans. Guests say that Ross was on the verge of tears reminiscing about his favorite...